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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Roger Ebert on Dark Shadows: "[Burton] approaches it as an amusing trifle, and for a feature-length film, we need more than attitude"   (rogerebert.suntimes.com) divider line 79
    More: Sad, Roger Ebert, trivia, fandango  
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3531 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 May 2012 at 8:56 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-10 09:00:50 AM  
About what I expected, from the trailer. I'll let Fark's Dark Shadows experts weigh in.
 
2012-05-10 09:00:54 AM  
http://chainsawsuit.com/2012/05/07/the-tim-burton-challenge/
 
2012-05-10 09:08:07 AM  
It is at 33% right now with top critics are there really enough fans of the old show for this movie to make money?
 
2012-05-10 09:12:18 AM  
Chloe Moretz is in it, that's all I need to know.

/seat over there, I'll take it.
//have they finished working on that annex yet?
 
2012-05-10 09:14:01 AM  

Carth: It is at 33% right now with top critics are there really enough fans of the old show for this movie to make money?


What's more important to ask is are there enough fans of Johnny Depp and/or Tim Burton?
 
2012-05-10 09:21:32 AM  
I saw Dark Shadows on Tuesday night and posted a bit about it yesterday in some other thread.

In a nutshell, it's nowhere near as campy or funny as the trailers will have you believe. Ebert nails the shortfalls in his review. The opening is grim and played completely straight. Once the plot moves into the present (actually, the early 1970s) the humor kicks in. I laughed out loud a few times early in the movie, but soon realized that the same joke is being told over and over.

The story never gets particularly compelling, and I never got far past apathy for any of the characters because they are all presented and developed in the most predictable ways.

But what really got my goat was the last 15 minutes. It's total shiat. Things happen that leave you thinking "what the fark was the point of that?". Particularly, and most annoyingly, with Chloe Moretz's character.

Oh, and the final scene... well, it exists only because someone is married to the director and it has absolutely zero relevance to the film's story.

Also: Eva Green is turbo-hot and should be the focus of this thread.
 
2012-05-10 09:21:38 AM  
It seems to me that Johnny Depp, similar to Jim Carrey, is only good at play one role in their movies, Themselves.

I mean, do not get me wrong, Depp has been in good movies, but it seems that he is forever to be cast in a role where he can only play the role where we have seen him one hundred other times. I think what Depp has over Carrey is that he does not need to make some STUPID FREAKING FACE after a joke. Just me though.
 
2012-05-10 09:26:06 AM  
Isn't it grammaticaly incorrect to follow a comma with the word "and"?

The whole sentence is hard to read.
 
2012-05-10 09:27:18 AM  

chewielouie: Chloe Moretz is in it, that's all I need to know.

/seat over there, I'll take it.
//have they finished working on that annex yet?


Save me a seat. I'll buy the first round
 
2012-05-10 09:28:34 AM  

Carth: It is at 33% right now with top critics are there really enough fans of the old show for this movie to make money?


I don't think it's aiming for those fans any more than "Land of the Lost" was aiming for fans of the original show.
 
2012-05-10 09:39:12 AM  
My mom used to tell me stories of rushing back to the dorm every day after classes to watch Dark Shadows. Yes, it was hilariously bad in some places, but the fact that the actors still took it seriously despite cheesy effects and bloopers not even being cut from the finished episodes was part of the charm. I was so looking forward to seeing this with her. Now I think we're probably just going to end up skipping this in favor.

Dammittohell, Tim Burton. You're doin' it wrong.

/At least Prometheus comes out in a couple of weeks,
 
2012-05-10 09:46:53 AM  
I'm pretty sure the actual quote was a bit more garbled.
 
2012-05-10 09:47:12 AM  
My question is if this movie wasn't called Dark Shadows, would you be able to identify it as Dark Shadows or just another mediocre vampire movie?

And judging from all that I've heard, it's just another mediocre vampire movie.
 
2012-05-10 09:49:08 AM  
Well, I'm sold. I think I'll run right out to the theatre tomorrow and go see The Avengers again.
 
2012-05-10 09:49:17 AM  
Burton outlived his usefulness as a director years ago. Depp, who is otherwise pretty smart about roles, continues to appear in Burton films out of loyalty.
 
2012-05-10 09:49:17 AM  
I really hate it when a remake can't decide whether to play it straight or for laughs.
 
2012-05-10 09:57:33 AM  

Angry Buddha: Also: Eva Green is turbo-hot and should be the focus of this thread.


Yup(NSFW)
She surely does look mean, though.
 
2012-05-10 10:05:39 AM  

Carth: It is at 33% right now with top critics are there really enough fans of the old show for this movie to make money?


Top critics are often movie snobs that can't appreciate a movie for what it is. I'd rather look at the 52% as an indicator. I've liked plenty of movies that have hovered around 50% on RT so I'll probably spend the 5 bucks to see this.
 
2012-05-10 10:06:30 AM  
i149.photobucket.com
Tis a trite mockery of the lords of darkness, I tell thee!
 
2012-05-10 10:12:03 AM  

9beers: Carth: It is at 33% right now with top critics are there really enough fans of the old show for this movie to make money?

Top critics are often movie snobs that can't appreciate a movie for what it is. I'd rather look at the 52% as an indicator. I've liked plenty of movies that have hovered around 50% on RT so I'll probably spend the 5 bucks to see this.


I wouldn't be surprised to see the overall ranking fall into the low 40s when it is released. Professional critics are more likely to get advanced screenings that is why they are a more useful ranking before the release date.
 
2012-05-10 10:19:46 AM  

Jim from Saint Paul: Isn't it grammaticaly incorrect to follow a comma with the word "and"?

The whole sentence is hard to read.


It's not incorrect, it's pretty common, and it can be downright useful!
 
2012-05-10 10:19:54 AM  

s2s2s2: Angry Buddha: Also: Eva Green is turbo-hot and should be the focus of this thread.

Yup(NSFW)
She surely does look mean, though.


I always thought she had the look of a woman being married by a flatulent priest.
 
2012-05-10 10:20:09 AM  

Penoatle: It seems to me that Johnny Depp, similar to Jim Carrey, is only good at play one role in their movies, Themselves.

I mean, do not get me wrong, Depp has been in good movies, but it seems that he is forever to be cast in a role where he can only play the role where we have seen him one hundred other times. I think what Depp has over Carrey is that he does not need to make some STUPID FREAKING FACE after a joke. Just me though.


I've heard this in a few Depp threads lately, and it puzzles me.

You're really going to tell me that Edward Scissorhands, Captain Jack Sparrow, Gilbert Grape, Ed Wood, Ichabod Crane, and Donnie Brasco were all played the same way? Really?
 
2012-05-10 10:22:48 AM  

Penoatle: It seems to me that Johnny Depp, similar to Jim Carrey, is only good at play one role in their movies, Themselves.

I mean, do not get me wrong, Depp has been in good movies, but it seems that he is forever to be cast in a role where he can only play the role where we have seen him one hundred other times. I think what Depp has over Carrey is that he does not need to make some STUPID FREAKING FACE after a joke. Just me though.


johnny depp plays characters. I have yet to see Johnny Depp play Johnny Depp in a role. Willy Wonka was as far from Edward Scissorhands was as far from Jack Sparrow as I can imagine. Weird characters yes but far from all the same.

you are thinking of people like Kevin Costner, Jack Nicholson, seth rogan, michael cera, jennifer aniston; you know, those people that actually don't act, they show up and read lines as themselves.
 
2012-05-10 10:23:36 AM  
Is part of Depp's deal with Burton that he has to wear ridiculous makeup in every film? And it's gotten worse. In Edward Scissorhands (22 years ago), he looked pale, like a dead guy. Now he looks like a guy wearing white pancake makeup. Oh, and eye shadow Helena Bonham-Carter probably lent him. This doesn't look like a vampire (even, yes, allowing for the fact that vampires are fictional), it looks like a kid dressing up as a vampire. And now I hear it's not supposed to be campy?
 
2012-05-10 10:28:03 AM  

chewielouie: Chloe Moretz is in it, that's all I need to know.

/seat over there, I'll take it.
//have they finished working on that annex yet?


too large to post as image
 
2012-05-10 10:28:23 AM  
I really want to like Tim Burton, but he never makes good movies, so it's hard.
 
2012-05-10 10:30:18 AM  
Much of the amusement comes from Depp's reactions to 1970s pop culture. The soundtrack is populated by rock classics, Carolyn's room is decorated like any teenage girl's, and Barnabas is torn between alarm and fascination when he sees his first lava lamp.

www.hollywoodmemorabilia.com

I liked that movie the first time I saw it, when it was called "Love at First Bite."
 
2012-05-10 10:36:06 AM  

Angry Buddha: Also: Eva Green is turbo-hot and should be the focus of this thread


i2.listal.com

img.poptower.com
 
2012-05-10 10:38:16 AM  

TsarTom: I really want to like Tim Burton, but he never makes good movies, so it's hard.



Pee-wee's Big Adventure
Beetlejuice
Batman
Edward Scissorhands
Batman Returns
Mars Attacks
Sleepy Hollow
Corpse Bride

He also wrote and produced 'The Nightmare Before Christmas, which was awesome. Saw the trailer for Frankenweenie and that looks like it's going to be great as well.
 
2012-05-10 10:57:51 AM  
I've decided that if I were to graph my enjoyment of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp films, it would go into a Venn diagram of sorts, with the overlap circle representing movies I disliked. I like Johnny Depp in non-Tim Burton movies, and I like Tim Burton movies that don't star Johnny Depp. But when they mix? Bleh.
 
2012-05-10 11:04:58 AM  
oh fark me. I don't like burton and I farking hate ebert. Depp is cool. What do I do?
 
2012-05-10 11:06:15 AM  

Orgasmatron138: Penoatle: It seems to me that Johnny Depp, similar to Jim Carrey, is only good at play one role in their movies, Themselves.

I mean, do not get me wrong, Depp has been in good movies, but it seems that he is forever to be cast in a role where he can only play the role where we have seen him one hundred other times. I think what Depp has over Carrey is that he does not need to make some STUPID FREAKING FACE after a joke. Just me though.

I've heard this in a few Depp threads lately, and it puzzles me.

You're really going to tell me that Edward Scissorhands, Captain Jack Sparrow, Gilbert Grape, Ed Wood, Ichabod Crane, and Donnie Brasco were all played the same way? Really?


I think that Depp in Burton movies sort of plays them the "same character" in that they are cartoony renditions of the clothes and makeup he is forced to wear with not much subtlety. Where it's not really about playing a character as much as playing an expression from the wardrobe. While the performances are difference..they all "feel" over-exaggerated. I'm not saying he's bad at this (I think he's very good at this, personally)...just that while I can understand the feeling of "Depp plays the same character in every Burton movie" while at the same time acting out completely different characters.

It's the non-Burton movies where he is allowed to be subtle that I think proves he's a great actor. Things line "Chocolat" and "Finding Neverland" and "Public Enemies".
 
2012-05-10 11:42:50 AM  

moothemagiccow: oh fark me. I don't like burton and I farking hate ebert. Depp is cool. What do I do?


masturbate, obviously.
 
2012-05-10 11:51:06 AM  

Angry Buddha: Also: Eva Green is turbo-hot and should be the focus of this thread.


Bears repeating.
 
2012-05-10 11:52:43 AM  

snowshovel: Orgasmatron138: Penoatle: It seems to me that Johnny Depp, similar to Jim Carrey, is only good at play one role in their movies, Themselves.

I mean, do not get me wrong, Depp has been in good movies, but it seems that he is forever to be cast in a role where he can only play the role where we have seen him one hundred other times. I think what Depp has over Carrey is that he does not need to make some STUPID FREAKING FACE after a joke. Just me though.

I've heard this in a few Depp threads lately, and it puzzles me.

You're really going to tell me that Edward Scissorhands, Captain Jack Sparrow, Gilbert Grape, Ed Wood, Ichabod Crane, and Donnie Brasco were all played the same way? Really?

I think that Depp in Burton movies sort of plays them the "same character" in that they are cartoony renditions of the clothes and makeup he is forced to wear with not much subtlety. Where it's not really about playing a character as much as playing an expression from the wardrobe. While the performances are difference..they all "feel" over-exaggerated. I'm not saying he's bad at this (I think he's very good at this, personally)...just that while I can understand the feeling of "Depp plays the same character in every Burton movie" while at the same time acting out completely different characters.

It's the non-Burton movies where he is allowed to be subtle that I think proves he's a great actor. Things line "Chocolat" and "Finding Neverland" and "Public Enemies".


I'm a pretty smart guy, but I have no idea what you just said.
 
2012-05-10 12:18:27 PM  
Burton sucks, looks like peopel are finally catching on.
 
2012-05-10 12:35:51 PM  
As I was telling my friend in the aftermath of that atrocious, soul-crushing trailer ...

If they wanted to make a real Dark Shadows movie, they should have:

1. Got everyone fitted for their costumes
2. Handed out the scripts
3. Said "Ok see you all tomorrow. Be ready."
4. Filmed every scene in one take; win/lose/set starts on fire

THAT would be Dark Shadows.
 
2012-05-10 12:41:31 PM  

snowshovel: I think that Depp in Burton movies sort of plays them the "same character" in that they are cartoony renditions of the clothes and makeup he is forced to wear with not much subtlety. Where it's not really about playing a character as much as playing an expression from the wardrobe. While the performances are difference..they all "feel" over-exaggerated. I'm not saying he's bad at this (I think he's very good at this, personally)...just that while I can understand the feeling of "Depp plays the same character in every Burton movie" while at the same time acting out completely different characters.


I've read this three times now and I can't figure out what you're trying to say.
 
2012-05-10 12:57:32 PM  

Persnickety: snowshovel: I think that Depp in Burton movies sort of plays them the "same character" in that they are cartoony renditions of the clothes and makeup he is forced to wear with not much subtlety. Where it's not really about playing a character as much as playing an expression from the wardrobe. While the performances are difference..they all "feel" over-exaggerated. I'm not saying he's bad at this (I think he's very good at this, personally)...just that while I can understand the feeling of "Depp plays the same character in every Burton movie" while at the same time acting out completely different characters.

I've read this three times now and I can't figure out what you're trying to say.


Depp seems to have the same kind of weird wardrobe in every Burton Movie. He thinks that maybe Depp uses these wacky/strange outfits as "inspiration" to do the same kind of character he sees to do in Burton movies.
 
2012-05-10 01:01:16 PM  
Sorry, seeing Eva Green's character make out with her brother after the siblings American lover just finished having sex with Eva, before wiping off any of her menstrual or virginal blood totally ruined her hotness for me.

/The Dreamers.
//farked up movie.
 
2012-05-10 01:09:18 PM  

someonelse: I really hate it when a remake can't decide whether to play it straight or for laughs.


If you'd ever seen the TV show you'd know that it doesn't really make any difference in this case....
 
2012-05-10 01:10:02 PM  

The_EliteOne: Sorry, seeing Eva Green's character make out with her brother after the siblings American lover just finished having sex with Eva, before wiping off any of her menstrual or virginal blood totally ruined her hotness for me.

/The Dreamers.
//farked up movie.


FAP FAP FAAAAAAAAAAAP
 
2012-05-10 01:14:42 PM  
I never understand Hollywood's habit of making movies based on TV shows or older movies, claiming to love the original, and then pissing all over the source material.

Hey, let's make a Mission Impossible movie. Jim Phelps was a great leader of the team in the series. For the movie, let's make him a traitor.

Hey, let's do an A-Team movie. I love Hannibal's wacky plans. In the movie, let's have Faceman come up with the climactic plan.

Let's make a Dark Shadows film. It was such a dark spooky series. I see the movie as a cheesy comedy.
 
2012-05-10 01:32:46 PM  

The_EliteOne: Sorry, seeing Eva Green's character make out with her brother after the siblings American lover just finished having sex with Eva, before wiping off any of her menstrual or virginal blood totally ruined her hotness for me.

/The Dreamers.
//farked up movie.


[VENI.jpg]
 
2012-05-10 01:33:35 PM  

Persnickety: snowshovel: I think that Depp in Burton movies sort of plays them the "same character" in that they are cartoony renditions of the clothes and makeup he is forced to wear with not much subtlety. Where it's not really about playing a character as much as playing an expression from the wardrobe. While the performances are difference..they all "feel" over-exaggerated. I'm not saying he's bad at this (I think he's very good at this, personally)...just that while I can understand the feeling of "Depp plays the same character in every Burton movie" while at the same time acting out completely different characters.

I've read this three times now and I can't figure out what you're trying to say.


He insists upon himself.
 
2012-05-10 01:38:43 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Whar Quentin?
Whar?
 
2012-05-10 01:46:03 PM  

Alphax: I'll let Fark's Dark Shadows experts weigh in.


At your service. Based on Ebert's review, my greatest fear about the trailer seems to have come true. Namely, the movie is just as trite and cheesy as the trailer makes it out to be. Depp makes so many confused looks throughout the trailer you can practically hear that needle-scratching noise every time. Super cheesy, especially with all that zany 70's music playing. I was hoping the trailer was a gross exaggeration of the actual movie, but it seems like it's pretty much "you get what you see".

Other Farkers said the movie looks good based on the trailer, and fully expect that they'll enjoy the movie more than Ebert did.
 
2012-05-10 01:50:08 PM  

DeltaPunch: Alphax: I'll let Fark's Dark Shadows experts weigh in.

At your service. Based on Ebert's review, my greatest fear about the trailer seems to have come true. Namely, the movie is just as trite and cheesy as the trailer makes it out to be. Depp makes so many confused looks throughout the trailer you can practically hear that needle-scratching noise every time. Super cheesy, especially with all that zany 70's music playing. I was hoping the trailer was a gross exaggeration of the actual movie, but it seems like it's pretty much "you get what you see".

Other Farkers said the movie looks good based on the trailer, and fully expect that they'll enjoy the movie more than Ebert did.


Trailer music rarely ends up in the actual movie.. which would be a good thing in this case.
 
2012-05-10 01:59:30 PM  

The_EliteOne: Sorry, seeing Eva Green's character make out with her brother after the siblings American lover just finished having sex with Eva, before wiping off any of her menstrual or virginal blood totally ruined her hotness for me.

/The Dreamers.
//farked up movie.


I'm sold. My only question is why was I not told of this movie sooner?
 
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