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(Stylist)   Search engine for Over-50s launches, offends everyone   (stylist.co.uk) divider line 85
    More: Dumbass, Pierce Brosnan, search engines, search engine launches  
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12149 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2012 at 3:28 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-09 04:44:12 PM
www.tvchannelsfree.com

The Innernette. By Cinco
 
2012-05-09 04:46:03 PM

zulius: Just wait until they get searches for "2 girls 1 cup"...
/5 seconds...


Ha, top hit is for video of a grandmother watching the video.
 
2012-05-09 04:47:26 PM
i275.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-09 04:49:55 PM
I always like age stereotypes. Especially with computers. When the Best Buy guy comes up and assumes that since I'm over 30 I am really confused about these computer thingies.

Especially since I wrote my first compiler before that asswipe was born. I wrote my first computer program when you weren't allowed to see tha damned thing, and only used a teletype over a 110 baud modem to talk to it.

I then politely tell him to get off my lawn.
 
2012-05-09 04:50:24 PM

WordyGrrl: Most of us nearing 50 have been using computers and the internet for more than half our lives now.


You don't know the morons in their 40s that I know.

Like the one who saves an MS Word attachment from his email to his hard drive like this:
1) Print MS Word attachment on paper
2) Retype it in MS Word
 
2012-05-09 04:56:12 PM
Sponsored by Old Glory Robot Insurance?
 
2012-05-09 04:58:22 PM

WordyGrrl: Most of us nearing 50 have been using computers and the internet for more than half our lives now. For anybody who's so out of touch they'd need this service? Well, there's AOL.. if it still exists.


This

/51 in a couple of months
//Even my 73 year old mother gets around on the internets pretty well. (Except for the time she managed to do an unfiltered GIS for some innocuous phrase, and got some unexpected results.)
 
2012-05-09 04:58:47 PM
I'm 68+ and wasn't offended. I figure that if you can't keep up with the program, it's time to check out. Hope to die at 105 at the hands of a jealous husband.
 
2012-05-09 05:12:09 PM
"hen fap" turned out to be one of the top search terms.
 
2012-05-09 05:12:15 PM

cig-mkr: I'm 68+ and wasn't offended. I figure that if you can't keep up with the program, it's time to check out. Hope to die at 105 at the hands of a jealous husband.


Good health and long life to you, sir.
Not to threadjack, but has anyone ever laid claim to the title of "Oldest Posting Farker"?
 
2012-05-09 05:15:08 PM

maddogdelta: I always like age stereotypes. Especially with computers. When the Best Buy guy comes up and assumes that since I'm over 30 I am really confused about these computer thingies.

Especially since I wrote my first compiler before that asswipe was born. I wrote my first computer program when you weren't allowed to see tha damned thing, and only used a teletype over a 110 baud modem to talk to it.

I then politely tell him to get off my lawn.


You, too, huh?

/that describes my first programming class
//actually, it was the first programming class in the district
 
2012-05-09 05:36:14 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: maddogdelta: I always like age stereotypes. Especially with computers. When the Best Buy guy comes up and assumes that since I'm over 30 I am really confused about these computer thingies.

Especially since I wrote my first compiler before that asswipe was born. I wrote my first computer program when you weren't allowed to see tha damned thing, and only used a teletype over a 110 baud modem to talk to it.

I then politely tell him to get off my lawn.

You, too, huh?

/that describes my first programming class
//actually, it was the first programming class in the district


I started programming on punched cards. Still programming!

Best Buy kid can play on my lawn.
 
2012-05-09 05:37:14 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: maddogdelta: I always like age stereotypes. Especially with computers. When the Best Buy guy comes up and assumes that since I'm over 30 I am really confused about these computer thingies.

Especially since I wrote my first compiler before that asswipe was born. I wrote my first computer program when you weren't allowed to see tha damned thing, and only used a teletype over a 110 baud modem to talk to it.

I then politely tell him to get off my lawn.

You, too, huh?

/that describes my first programming class
//actually, it was the first programming class in the district


My first, I had to write everything in Basic
www.theforbiddenknowledge.com
 
2012-05-09 05:39:43 PM
My mom is retirement age. Before I was born, she was a programmer for IBM. Needless to say, computer literacy is not a problem for her.

/My dad, on the other hand...
 
2012-05-09 05:51:22 PM
I think they broke the internet! I typed every variation of porn I could think of and came up nothing even remotely close. I typed teen porn and it said 'No Results", I think they are doing it wrong if it couldn't come up with any results and google can come up with close to a billion. I remembered they were appealing to a different demographic so I prepared myself to be blinded and typed senior porn and it came up with irrelevant search results. I feel bad for all those over 50s using askmabel. Apparently don't ask her where to find anything useful.
 
2012-05-09 05:55:18 PM
 
2012-05-09 06:00:55 PM
I searched AskMable for "twatwaffle".

It gives "About 3,160,000" results but sadly they are all about waffles.

/ Twat fan
 
2012-05-09 06:10:12 PM

Erebus1954: MaudlinMutantMollusk: maddogdelta: I always like age stereotypes. Especially with computers. When the Best Buy guy comes up and assumes that since I'm over 30 I am really confused about these computer thingies.

Especially since I wrote my first compiler before that asswipe was born. I wrote my first computer program when you weren't allowed to see tha damned thing, and only used a teletype over a 110 baud modem to talk to it.

I then politely tell him to get off my lawn.

You, too, huh?

/that describes my first programming class
//actually, it was the first programming class in the district

I started programming on punched cards. Still programming!

Best Buy kid can play on my lawn.


Heh... the only thing we had in our classroom that we could work with hands-on was a big HP programmable calculator that took punch cards

/took days just to get the nixy tubes to dance 0-1
//good times...
 
2012-05-09 06:26:46 PM
I'm pushing 50. Scares the Hell out of me.

And then one day you find
10 years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun


/Didn't handle 30 too well.
//Duck!
 
2012-05-09 06:26:46 PM

Flash_NYC: FTFA comments: "While the kiddies are tweeting, preening on Facebook, playing games, and masturbating to porn, the rest of us are leveraging the technology to solve important problems."

I'm leveraging technology to solve important problems AND masturbating to porn!!!


Important problems:

Suckering the youth into giving them welfare
 
2012-05-09 06:44:46 PM
Weren't the engineers who designed and built the internet born before 1963?
 
2012-05-09 07:03:28 PM
img135.imageshack.us
 
2012-05-09 07:23:49 PM
http://duckduckgo.com/

does for me, clean, unlcuttered and features that google just can't match.
 
2012-05-09 07:24:39 PM
Kind of reminds me of altavista, lawn, off it. etc.
 
2012-05-09 07:30:08 PM
I just turned 88 last week and I have no idea how I got to this page. I was just trying to type an electronic mail message to my son, Billy.

Has anyone here seen Billy?

Billy? Hello?
 
2012-05-09 07:42:09 PM
"Mature" porn?
 
2012-05-09 08:01:21 PM

vudukungfu: WordyGrrl: Most of us nearing 50 have been using computers and the internet for more than half our lives now. For anybody who's so out of touch they'd need this service? Well, there's AOL.. if it still exists.

Exactly. I started programming in 1969,
What you said is 100% correctomundo.
/56 this year.


I'll second that thought.

I'm much closer to 60 then 50 ( 59 this year) and have fixed / upgraded / taught folks about computers since 1980. i started programming in 70 and haven't stopped yet.

still the go to computer geek for a bunch of folks.

yea there are many who know more, but being able to teach someone without sounding condescending is good for many calls for help. ( yes I get paid for it, no i'll not fix your computer for free, will you fix my car/teeth/plumbing for free?)


/get off my lawn, what's left of it
//hooks thumbs in suspenders
// walks off
 
2012-05-09 08:14:25 PM
Top ten searches
1. Dry vaginas
2. Bras
3. Farmers markets
4. The viagra
5. My antenna doesn't work
6. Nearest payphone
7. Winn Dixie
8. Meatloaf recieps
9. Yarn
10. My son, the doctor
 
2012-05-09 08:18:28 PM
Children, some of us over 50s were the ones that developed the internet while you were soaking in your soggy diapers.

\sorry about that, we should have paid more attention but we were on this internet thing.
 
2012-05-09 08:42:54 PM
Can no one tell the difference between 50 and 50+?
 
2012-05-09 08:48:42 PM
good, now keep those snot-nosed young whippersnappers off my search engine

i just cant believe madonna is so close to my age. almost makes me feel young.
 
2012-05-09 10:23:32 PM
Good news everyone, no UltraPorn!
 
2012-05-09 11:24:52 PM

Mr. Potatoass:
Good health and long life to you, sir.
Not to threadjack, but has anyone ever laid claim to the title of "Oldest Posting Farker"?


Geez, there was a guy on here once who said he was really old, maybe
in his 80's? I can't remember exactly.

AssAsInAssassin: I'm pushing 50. Scares the Hell out of me.
And then one day you find
10 years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun
/Didn't handle 30 too well.


I still haven't recovered from turning 50, and that was almost a year ago. Then my mom died too. And STOP PLAYING THAT DAMN SONG.

/That's the exact same one that gets me.
 
2012-05-10 12:18:00 AM
 
2012-05-10 12:43:18 AM

Erebus1954: MaudlinMutantMollusk: maddogdelta: I always like age stereotypes. Especially with computers. When the Best Buy guy comes up and assumes that since I'm over 30 I am really confused about these computer thingies.

Especially since I wrote my first compiler before that asswipe was born. I wrote my first computer program when you weren't allowed to see tha damned thing, and only used a teletype over a 110 baud modem to talk to it.

I then politely tell him to get off my lawn.

You, too, huh?

/that describes my first programming class
//actually, it was the first programming class in the district

I started programming on punched cards. Still programming!

Best Buy kid can play on my lawn.


Remember the wired plug boards of early IBM 402s and 360s? The punch card readers?

My father bought the first IBM system (back in the bundled days) in the Southeast and learned how to program it in IBM's Atlanta office on Peachtree, three blocks north of the Museum.

That was a two man office.

Those guys would babysit me at night while Dad learned how to work the new computer he'd staked his career on. Slept many a night on a couch in that office.
 
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