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(Stylist)   Search engine for Over-50s launches, offends everyone   (stylist.co.uk) divider line 85
    More: Dumbass, Pierce Brosnan, search engines, search engine launches  
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12151 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2012 at 3:28 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-09 12:43:33 PM  
To be fueled by ads from the same companies that sponsor the 6 o'clock news on the TV. Could work,though. I know people that have to have their grand-kids read their email for them.
 
2012-05-09 12:46:53 PM  
Here's a prototype:

i.imgur.com
 
2012-05-09 12:48:19 PM  
I'm not offended. My over-70 mom would probably like it.

/almost 50
 
2012-05-09 12:52:48 PM  
Geezle

/Greygle?
 
2012-05-09 01:22:37 PM  

bdub77: Here's a prototype:

[i.imgur.com image 640x425]


No mom, with the left mouse button. No, just click once, no need to double click. Wait, no, you clicked in the address bar. I said click in the search box. That one right there.
 
2012-05-09 01:40:51 PM  
Offending old people?

Someone made a Geritol folly.
 
2012-05-09 01:50:25 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-09 02:47:38 PM  
As someone who is nearly a decade over the 50-year mark, I must say I'm OFFENDED! OFFENDED, do you hear me?


(not really
 
2012-05-09 03:03:01 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: As someone who is nearly a decade over the 50-year mark, I must say I'm OFFENDED! OFFENDED, do you hear me?


(not really


Don't you have a cloud to go yell at or something?
 
2012-05-09 03:20:08 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bathia_Mapes: As someone who is nearly a decade over the 50-year mark, I must say I'm OFFENDED! OFFENDED, do you hear me?


(not really

Don't you have a cloud to go yell at or something?


Get offa my lawn, whippersnapper! :-D
 
2012-05-09 03:30:24 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bathia_Mapes: As someone who is nearly a decade over the 50-year mark, I must say I'm OFFENDED! OFFENDED, do you hear me?


(not really

Don't you have a cloud to go yell at or something?

Get offa my lawn, whippersnapper! :-D


Heh... if I tried to whippersnap these days I'd probably break something
 
2012-05-09 03:33:17 PM  
GILF porn for everyone!
 
2012-05-09 03:33:21 PM  
I'm so offended I'm searching for a cloud.

I need something to yell at.
 
2012-05-09 03:33:58 PM  
Mabel looks like she'd give a good gum job.
 
2012-05-09 03:34:33 PM  
Old people already have a search engine. It's called The Yellow Pages.
 
2012-05-09 03:35:21 PM  
Do they have a link for onion belt styles.
 
2012-05-09 03:37:54 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bathia_Mapes: As someone who is nearly a decade over the 50-year mark, I must say I'm OFFENDED! OFFENDED, do you hear me?


(not really

Don't you have a cloud to go yell at or something?


Don't tell them about cloud computing!
 
2012-05-09 03:38:53 PM  

CognaciousThunk: Old people already have a search engine. It's called The Yellow Pages.


Does it go 'VRoooooOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!?
 
2012-05-09 03:39:03 PM  
Just wait until they get searches for "2 girls 1 cup"...
/5 seconds...
 
2012-05-09 03:42:55 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bathia_Mapes: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bathia_Mapes: As someone who is nearly a decade over the 50-year mark, I must say I'm OFFENDED! OFFENDED, do you hear me?


(not really

Don't you have a cloud to go yell at or something?

Get offa my lawn, whippersnapper! :-D

Heh... if I tried to whippersnap these days I'd probably break something


Heh!
 
2012-05-09 03:44:31 PM  
Yuk it up, hipster-youth douche-bags.
Those tats & piercings are going to look GREAT when you hit the big 5-0!
 
2012-05-09 03:44:39 PM  
Your search "when is matlock on" did not match any content.

Fails...
 
2012-05-09 03:45:32 PM  
Oh please. I had a hard enough time getting the old lady to give up "Ask Jeeves"
 
2012-05-09 03:45:55 PM  

bdub77: Here's a prototype:

[i.imgur.com image 640x425]


Going to get something to clean off my screen now. I guess I'll take my Geritol, too, and sing along with Mitch Miller.
 
2012-05-09 03:46:54 PM  

cgraves67: Do they have a link for onion belt styles.


Yes....yes they do
 
2012-05-09 03:47:31 PM  
They'll get over wait, what were we talking about?
 
2012-05-09 03:48:08 PM  
I can see the ads now.
Matlock uses Geritol to keep his mind sharp. So should you.

Or an animated gif ad:
Pull up the punk's pants and you could win a vegetable masher!
 
2012-05-09 03:52:01 PM  
Somebody needs to write a "Let Me Ask Mabel For You" page.
 
2012-05-09 03:52:06 PM  
FTFA comments: "While the kiddies are tweeting, preening on Facebook, playing games, and masturbating to porn, the rest of us are leveraging the technology to solve important problems."

I'm leveraging technology to solve important problems AND masturbating to porn!!!
 
2012-05-09 03:53:08 PM  
Love that somehow the picture of Madonna (who is more plastic than person) is somehow LESS offensive than the cartoon with gray hair.

/not even close to 50
 
2012-05-09 03:53:34 PM  
Webcrawler is good enough for me you Google-heads.
 
2012-05-09 03:53:34 PM  
rich fifty is middle class thirty-eight.
 
2012-05-09 03:54:29 PM  
sweet, something to feed the fire of youthful arseholes who hate Baby Boomers like they are the SS. Some day they'll realize their grandmothers were tripping on acid & sucking pipe at Woodstock, their grandfathers built most of the amazing shiat in their world and the whole lot of them was fu(ked their entire adult lives by the arseclowns of WashDC - just as they will be.

Momma Kritter is in her late 80's and doesn't want to do the 'net because she spent the last 20-25 years of her working life with her face stuck in a computers CRT.
 
2012-05-09 03:54:37 PM  
Why do I have a boner all the sudden?
 
2012-05-09 03:56:29 PM  

Acidicnads: Why do I have a boner all the sudden?


and here I was asking the opposite question.
 
2012-05-09 03:57:56 PM  

Flash_NYC: FTFA comments: "While the kiddies are tweeting, preening on Facebook, playing games, and masturbating to porn, the rest of us are leveraging the technology to solve important problems."

I'm leveraging technology to solve important problems AND masturbating to porn!!!


A multi-tasker! What a job? We don't supply you with Kleenex, though. You have to bring that yourself.
 
2012-05-09 03:59:16 PM  
Hot Grandma thread?
 
2012-05-09 04:03:30 PM  
i.imgur.com

Just giving it a proper test drive.
 
2012-05-09 04:06:21 PM  

fisker: [i.imgur.com image 640x427]

Just giving it a proper test drive.


You're likely to make Mabel soil her Depends
 
2012-05-09 04:13:51 PM  
I searched for "porn" and got "no results." This will not serve.
 
2012-05-09 04:16:55 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: I searched for "porn" and got "no results." This will not serve.


it's old people internet.
their euphemism for porn is "party"
And yellow citrus kind is the best kind
 
2012-05-09 04:18:13 PM  
cdn.chud.com
 
2012-05-09 04:19:30 PM  
Is that kinda like the google?

Fark, I am disappoint
 
2012-05-09 04:24:46 PM  
Ridiculous. I'm rapidly approaching their target demographic, and I find this not just stupid, but comically so.
 
2012-05-09 04:28:06 PM  
Most of us nearing 50 have been using computers and the internet for more than half our lives now. For anybody who's so out of touch they'd need this service? Well, there's AOL.. if it still exists.
 
2012-05-09 04:35:27 PM  

WordyGrrl: Most of us nearing 50 have been using computers and the internet for more than half our lives now. For anybody who's so out of touch they'd need this service? Well, there's AOL.. if it still exists.


Exactly. I started programming in 1969,
What you said is 100% correctomundo.
/56 this year.
 
2012-05-09 04:40:15 PM  

offacue: Somebody needs to write a "Let Me Ask Mabel For You" page.


But have Jeeves come over an hump her after the results post.
 
2012-05-09 04:42:04 PM  

Oztemprom: Is that kinda like the google?

Fark, I am disappoint


So I just went to TheGoogle.com

That wasn't what I expected at all. I don't even know what this is. My computer can't display the language.
 
2012-05-09 04:42:18 PM  
static.tvfanatic.com

"What's this? An old fashioned lemon party?"
*click*
 
2012-05-09 04:43:07 PM  

oldfarthenry: Yuk it up, hipster-youth douche-bags.
Those tats & piercings are going to look GREAT when you hit the big 5-0!


Using my 55 year-old father as an example, I don't think I'm going to be concerning myself too much about how good I look when I'm 50. I'll probably be content to wear hawaiian shirts (they were $1 each at Goodwill! What a steal!) and sandals (with my tube socks, of course) because they're comfortable, dammit. Of course, he has more tats than I do...
 
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