+1 for the beautician of bandit.

How thoughtful of him to provide handles for his cellmate to hold onto.

You never know when the Bowling Alley Bandit will strike.


/was that in the article? I have not read it.

How did I know that "spare" and "split" were going to be used.

Personally, I think they were framed. I'm worried it may be Fletcher's third strike, or turkey if you will, and after prison he will wind up in the gutter.

Good job on putting actual effort into the headline instead of taking the easy way out, Subby.

No 'pinhead'

WTFDYW: +1 for the writer of TFA.

I would add a good pun to this, but I'm not a golfer

That is not how I pictured Magneto...oh, Fletcher, not Lenscher.

/it sounded better in my head

spare, gutter, strike, turkey, pin, lane, and 10lbs balls to be used as puns in 3 ...2....

must not have been shabbos.

/This is't Nam, there are rules!

Farking Nihilists!

The three men immediately headed for a cardboard box containing over $30,000, according to WINK News. The cash was on hand to be used as prize money for a bowling league tournament.

Who the hell would issue a prize that large in cash, rather than as a check or the like??

/deserved to get robbed

The Flexecutioner: spare, gutter, strike, turkey, pin, lane, and 10lbs balls to be used as puns in 3 ...2....

oh spare me. no one will use those puns. this gutter trash has done enough to strike out with this crime to spend the rest of his life in jail on D block lane. i hope someone with 10lb balls will pin this jive turkey down in his cell and pound him good.

I was expecting it to be a lot worse. These are fairly cleverly written into the actual information of the article. It's not like most of these articles, where the whole things comes across like a poorly written King's Quest narration.

Those thieves sure BOWLED OVER that place!

His mugshot is funny enough to be...


...framed

Freakin Rican: The Flexecutioner: spare, gutter, strike, turkey, pin, lane, and 10lbs balls to be used as puns in 3 ...2....

oh spare me. no one will use those puns. this gutter trash has done enough to strike out with this crime to spend the rest of his life in jail on D block lane. i hope someone with 10lb balls will pin this jive turkey down in his cell and pound him good.

UNfortunately the justice system see fit to automatically return him to the public.

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Freakin Rican: The Flexecutioner: spare, gutter, strike, turkey, pin, lane, and 10lbs balls to be used as puns in 3 ...2....

oh spare me. no one will use those puns. this gutter trash has done enough to strike out with this crime to spend the rest of his life in jail on D block lane. i hope someone with 10lb balls will pin this jive turkey down in his cell and pound him good.

UNfortunately the justice system see fit to automatically return him to the public.

Though probably not until his holes have been re-drilled.

"Unfortunately, the bowling alley bandits ultimately got away, but police later found the car abandoned with the prize money and guns inside."

Like I've said many times, prison is for stupid people.

How much will Chinese health food faddists pay for Dried Moron? Would it be per pound or per moron?

Just imagine if someone was stealing the league championship prize money, and how that relates in scale to "over the line".

ArcadianRefugee: The three men immediately headed for a cardboard box containing over $30,000, according to WINK News. The cash was on hand to be used as prize money for a bowling league tournament.

Who the hell would issue a prize that large in cash, rather than as a check or the like??

/deserved to get robbed



Because the bank was all out of giant novelty checks?

What big balls.

People collect mugshots?

/wonder how many farkers have mine.

What a bunch of turkeys.

Ahhh Ft. Myers....never a dull moment.

Victim during Interview: "It's just like something you couldn't believe. I mean, it was like something from a storybook."

What in the ever-living hell are you reading to your grandkids?

Ned Stark: People collect mugshots?

/wonder how many farkers have mine.

LOLWUT

You can't just drop a bomb like that and wander off! We need your mugshot now.

Lenny: Hey Homer, that's four strikes in a row! You've got a perfect game going.
Homer Simpson: Really?
Carl: Careful what you say Lenny, you'll jinx him.
Lenny: Oh, right, sorry.
Lenny: Miss! Miss!... Sorry, I was calling the waitress...
[talking to waitress]
Lenny: Uh, this split you sold me is making me choke.
Homer Simpson: Lenny!
Lenny: What? I paid seven-ten for this split.
Carl: Would you at least call it a banana split, you dumbwad?
Lenny: Hey, spaaare me your gutter mouth.
[Lenny gets hit in the groin with Homer's bowling ball]

Did they get Willard?

Freakin Rican: The Flexecutioner: spare, gutter, strike, turkey, pin, lane, and 10lbs balls to be used as puns in 3 ...2....

oh spare me. no one will use those puns. this gutter trash has done enough to strike out with this crime to spend the rest of his life in jail on D block lane. i hope someone with 10lb balls will pin this jive turkey down in his cell and pound him good.

after so many robberies, that business must be, like, splitsville, man. splitsville.

ArcadianRefugee: The three men immediately headed for a cardboard box containing over $30,000, according to WINK News. The cash was on hand to be used as prize money for a bowling league tournament.

Who the hell would issue a prize that large in cash, rather than as a check or the like??

/deserved to get robbed

Not sure why exactly, but I remember reading about one of the state bowling associations (I believe it was NY) embezzling funds from its members and as a result, prize checks from the state tournament held at the time the embezzlement occurred were delayed. It may have been the decision of the tournament organizers or written in the bylaws of the local USBC chapter that all the prize money be paid out immediately to bowlers who 'cash' in the tournament upon conclusion. Although I do believe that kind of money would need to be secured in a safe kept in the manager's office to prevent this type of stuff from happening again. A cardboard box is not a good place to keep 30 grand.