If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Celebitchy)   Beyonce: "My biggest thing is to teach Blue not to focus on the aesthetic." But first, this L'Oreal commercial   (celebitchy.com) divider line 70
    More: Ironic, Willow Smith, Suri Cruise, Mike Love, eyeshadows, master classes, Tina Knowles, People magazine  
•       •       •

1661 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 May 2012 at 4:56 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-05-07 01:22:38 PM  
I dunno, she's pretty enough I guess.
 
2012-05-07 01:29:41 PM  
Does this mean Beyonce is leaving the public eye? Because I don't see her lessons having any real effect otherwise...
 
2012-05-07 02:39:32 PM  
Who?
 
2012-05-07 02:46:10 PM  
You can take measures to look good while not being obsessed with looks.
 
2012-05-07 05:03:34 PM  
that biatch is so fake.
 
2012-05-07 05:04:15 PM  
Blue? That was the dogs name.
 
2012-05-07 05:04:22 PM  

Car_Ramrod: You can take measures to look good while not being obsessed with looks.


Beyaki ain't one of those.
 
2012-05-07 05:04:39 PM  
If she really thought that good looks were really that important, she would have married someone other than Jay-Z. Sure, he's wealthy and famous, but damn, that guy is one ugly mofo.
 
2012-05-07 05:04:44 PM  
Just focus on the solid gold crib right?
 
2012-05-07 05:04:53 PM  
dog's

FIFM
 
2012-05-07 05:06:57 PM  
You're my boy Blue!

/or girl.
 
2012-05-07 05:07:09 PM  
"Blue"? What, because Periwinkle or Sidetable Drawer would have just been silly?
 
2012-05-07 05:11:16 PM  
Maybe take some English courses before you start to teach her anything. "My biggest thing"
 
2012-05-07 05:17:10 PM  
I thought the first thing was teaching her the story she, Jay-Z, and their publicists wrote up for how Blue was "born." Everybody has to keep their stories straight.
 
2012-05-07 05:26:36 PM  
No, her biggest thing is her ass.
 
2012-05-07 05:47:55 PM  

henryhill: No, her biggest thing is her ass.


And done! Well, Ego, then Ass.
 
2012-05-07 05:56:06 PM  
I guess that sort of thing is going to be a small comfort if the kid ends up looking like her dad.

//that, and, you know, being filthy stinking rich
//and apparently, having a #1 single because her parents are attention whores
 
2012-05-07 06:01:52 PM  

Magnir: henryhill: No, her biggest thing is her ass.

And done! Well, Ego, then Ass.


Not done yet. Behold, Beyonce's ass:

From behind
bossip.files.wordpress.com

From the front
www.thelmagazine.com
 
2012-05-07 06:06:25 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: that biatch is so fake.



And your evidence for this is what precisely?
 
2012-05-07 06:06:39 PM  
Well to be fair she did marry a camel. A very rich one, but a camel nonetheless.
 
2012-05-07 06:08:51 PM  

EyeballKid: I thought the first thing was teaching her the story she, Jay-Z, and their publicists wrote up for how Blue was "born." Everybody has to keep their stories straight.


Can someone explain this random conspiracy to me? Makes no sense.
 
2012-05-07 06:09:46 PM  
Foxy got you hot 'cause you kept your face in her puss
What you think, you getting girls now 'cause of your looks?
Ne-gro please
You no mustache having, with whiskers like a rat
Compared to Beans you wack
 
2012-05-07 06:12:24 PM  
I bet she forgets to teach her daughter not to leave her band mates hanging so she can take off for a solo career.
 
2012-05-07 06:13:31 PM  

Apos: ExperianScaresCthulhu: that biatch is so fake.


And your evidence for this is what precisely?


Well, for starters, black people don't normally have long straight blonde hair.
 
2012-05-07 06:21:02 PM  
Pink is doing just fine, though.
 
2012-05-07 06:27:54 PM  
She will shill just about anything. Pepsi, L'Oreal, Hillfiger, Armani, Nintendo, Vizio, etc.
 
2012-05-07 06:31:40 PM  

devilskware: Apos: ExperianScaresCthulhu: that biatch is so fake.


And your evidence for this is what precisely?

Well, for starters, black people don't normally have long straight blonde hair.



Women of all ethnicities change their hairstyles and color when it suits them. That hardly qualifies as a compelling argument for what you're alleging. What else you got?
 
2012-05-07 06:35:22 PM  

devilskware: Well, for starters, black people don't normally have long straight blonde hair.


She obviously has more to her ethnic background than just "black".
 
2012-05-07 06:44:22 PM  
i1195.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-07 06:46:02 PM  
As stated by one of the world's leading attention whores.
 
2012-05-07 06:49:50 PM  
Does she really think that's the most important thing to teach her child? No hard work, happiness is a choice, respect for others, the golden rule, find a rich man, etc.? I'll assume she's just using this opportunity to reinforce her persona/brand as a beautiful, humble, talented diva.
 
2012-05-07 06:57:53 PM  

Atomic Spunk: If she really thought that good looks were really that important, she would have married someone other than Jay-Z. Sure, he's wealthy and famous, but damn, that guy is one ugly mofo.


Yeah, I'm sure she was attracted to his sparkling personality. His fame, power, connections and street cred had nothing to do with it.
 
2012-05-07 07:09:48 PM  

Shakespeare's Monkey: Who?


Her dog, I think.
 
2012-05-07 07:10:14 PM  

kroonermanblack: EyeballKid: I thought the first thing was teaching her the story she, Jay-Z, and their publicists wrote up for how Blue was "born." Everybody has to keep their stories straight.

Can someone explain this random conspiracy to me? Makes no sense.


The persistent rumor is that the Carters utilized a surrogate for their child and have conspired with their Illuminati compatriots to keep this dastardly secret from the public. Or something equally imaginative.
 
2012-05-07 07:22:03 PM  

Apos: devilskware: Apos: ExperianScaresCthulhu: that biatch is so fake.


And your evidence for this is what precisely?

Well, for starters, black people don't normally have long straight blonde hair.


Women of all ethnicities change their hairstyles and color when it suits them. That hardly qualifies as a compelling argument for what you're alleging. What else you got?


I dont know. I dont really care either way and I just dont think she's very attractive. Also, she's TEXAN and I thought everybody on Fark hated Texas.
 
2012-05-07 07:24:11 PM  

TheJoe03: devilskware: Well, for starters, black people don't normally have long straight blonde hair.

She obviously has more to her ethnic background than just "black".


As does our first black president. He's black, it says so on my collectors plate. Anyways, you think her hair is real?
 
2012-05-07 07:24:46 PM  
I don't have a problem with her saying that... Isn't part of a parent's job to help steer their child away from what they, themselves fell victim to?
 
2012-05-07 07:25:18 PM  

devilskware: Apos: devilskware: Apos: ExperianScaresCthulhu: that biatch is so fake.


And your evidence for this is what precisely?

Well, for starters, black people don't normally have long straight blonde hair.


Women of all ethnicities change their hairstyles and color when it suits them. That hardly qualifies as a compelling argument for what you're alleging. What else you got?

I dont know. I dont really care either way and I just dont think she's very attractive. Also, she's TEXAN and I thought everybody on Fark hated Texas.


Seriously, you don't find her physically attractive? Sharp knees, or what?
 
2012-05-07 07:31:55 PM  

devilskware: Apos: devilskware: Apos: ExperianScaresCthulhu: that biatch is so fake.


And your evidence for this is what precisely?

Well, for starters, black people don't normally have long straight blonde hair.


Women of all ethnicities change their hairstyles and color when it suits them. That hardly qualifies as a compelling argument for what you're alleging. What else you got?

I dont know. I dont really care either way and I just dont think she's very attractive. Also, she's TEXAN and I thought everybody on Fark hated Texas.



Well,you thought wrong:She's a scrumptious Texan who would be sitting on my face in an ideal world.
 
2012-05-07 07:35:19 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: devilskware: Apos: devilskware: Apos: ExperianScaresCthulhu: that biatch is so fake.


And your evidence for this is what precisely?

Well, for starters, black people don't normally have long straight blonde hair.


Women of all ethnicities change their hairstyles and color when it suits them. That hardly qualifies as a compelling argument for what you're alleging. What else you got?

I dont know. I dont really care either way and I just dont think she's very attractive. Also, she's TEXAN and I thought everybody on Fark hated Texas.

Seriously, you don't find her physically attractive? Sharp knees, or what?


I don't know. I'm more of a Kelly Rowland fan. I got the crazy hots for Ms.Rowland actually. Maybe Beyonce's knees aren't sharp enough!
 
2012-05-07 07:36:59 PM  
fark Beyonce ... here's some Kelly

Link
 
2012-05-07 07:37:45 PM  

devilskware: As does our first black president. He's black, it says so on my collectors plate. Anyways, you think her hair is real?


The color isn't but the hair could be, and women mess with their hair all the time.
 
2012-05-07 07:39:03 PM  

devilskware: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: devilskware: Apos: devilskware: Apos: ExperianScaresCthulhu: that biatch is so fake.


And your evidence for this is what precisely?

Well, for starters, black people don't normally have long straight blonde hair.


Women of all ethnicities change their hairstyles and color when it suits them. That hardly qualifies as a compelling argument for what you're alleging. What else you got?

I dont know. I dont really care either way and I just dont think she's very attractive. Also, she's TEXAN and I thought everybody on Fark hated Texas.

Seriously, you don't find her physically attractive? Sharp knees, or what?

I don't know. I'm more of a Kelly Rowland fan. I got the crazy hots for Ms.Rowland actually. Maybe Beyonce's knees aren't sharp enough!


Heh...To each his own.
 
2012-05-07 07:48:18 PM  

FuryOfFirestorm: Atomic Spunk: If she really thought that good looks were really that important, she would have married someone other than Jay-Z. Sure, he's wealthy and famous, but damn, that guy is one ugly mofo.

Yeah, I'm sure she was attracted to his sparkling personality. His fame, power, connections and street cred had nothing to do with it.


There was a Fark thread some years back about the size of his ding-dong.
Blocks out the sun, apparently. Anyone remember that?
 
2012-05-07 07:51:43 PM  

henryhill: No, her biggest thing is her ass.


i856.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-07 07:52:00 PM  

henryhill: No, her biggest thing is her ass.


They don't call her "bouncy" for nothin'
 
2012-05-07 07:59:21 PM  
That poor kid.

Whenever I hear that name I imagine him as an adult:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-05-07 08:34:39 PM  

uber humper: Magnir: henryhill: No, her biggest thing is her ass.

And done! Well, Ego, then Ass.

Not done yet. Behold, Beyonce's ass:

From behind
[bossip.files.wordpress.com image 450x626]

From the front
[www.thelmagazine.com image 366x320]


The lower half of his face appears to belong to Fat Albert.
 
2012-05-07 09:02:42 PM  

Apos: ExperianScaresCthulhu: that biatch is so fake.


And your evidence for this is what precisely?


Either Beyonce would never go out with him, or her boyfriend faps to Beyonce.
 
2012-05-07 10:25:54 PM  
sonic.net

"My biggest thing is to teach Blue not to focus on the aesthetic."

/"Bow bow bow baowrrow!"
 
Displayed 50 of 70 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report