Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and he was going to give them to Al Qaeda

America was founded as a Christian nation

Idaho - Secession and Stalemate

For a brief time in 1893, Idaho seceded from the union after the states congressmen became so disgusted with a two-month long filibuster that they stormed out of congress and vowed to split from the union and join with Canada.
A delegation from Idaho (led by one of the former senators) was immediately dispatched to meet with provincial authorities in British Columbia to discuss their options, but the British Columbian premier, who insisted they address him as "Burt", refused to believe Idaho was actually a state, and eventually deemed the entire delegation crackpots and had them arrested and ejected by the Northwest Mounted Police.
Upon realizing secession would be without the support of Canada and increasingly afraid of an impending federal intervention, Governor McConnell ordered the capital to be fortified and began to raise a militia. Thus began what was referred to as "The Great Idaho Stalemate," which lasted for four months, from July 1893 until the end of October of the same year, when Gov. McConnell realized no attack was coming. With militiamen refusing to carry on the occupation of the capital and no response whatsoever from Washington DC, Governor McConnell ordered the fortifications around the capital torn down and met with his cabinet, ultimately deciding to rejoin the union on November 6, 1893.
The original senators who had stormed out of congress nearly six months prior returned to Washington DC on November 19, 1893. When they expressed their intention to rejoin the union, however, they were met with utter confusion by the majority of congress. None of the other senators, as it turned out, had realized the delegates from Idaho had stormed out. Congress had been unaware that Idaho had seceded, and what was worse for the state's senators, nobody had taken note of their absence. The senators mumbled their dismay and quietly took their seats, and the filibuster entered its tenth month.
Not another word was spoken of the secession of Idaho, most likely due to the fact that the rest of congress thought it a poorly timed joke, and the senators from Idaho were too embarrassed to correct them.

The Spanish sunk an American ship and started the Spanish-American War.

The most successful pirates in the Elizabethan times did not win sword battles based on their skill with a sword alone; they had to also learn and memorize insults and retorts. Generally, pirates have stalemates in a sword fight between one pirate and another. However, a well-timed insult can cause an opponent to become so surprised that they may drop their sword as a result. In 1717, Blackbeard challenged Mary Read with the insult, "you fight like a dairy farmer." Mary Read famously retorted, "How appropriate. You fight like a cow." This retort shattered Blackbeard's soul so much that the insult was eventually coined "Blackbeard's Curse."

Now, if you're doing a sword fight as a pirate while you're on a ship, the rules change compared to if you're on land. If someone opens with an insult on the sea, your retort must rhyme. The more dastardly pirates, read and learned from rhyming dictionaries every day. Blackbeard was famous for capturing over 100 ships with an insult opener called the "William of Orange Insult." Blackbeard would end his insults with the words "William of Orange," for which no living pirate could successfully retort with a rhyme. The "William of Orange Insult" was consequently banned the following year.

"Make up a historical fact and share it with us "
...or head over to the Politics section where this game is routinely played.

The Manhattan Project was a failure and the atomic bomb was a hoax. After discovering that Oppenheimer had used all of the grant money he was given to develop the bomb on hookers and blow, the US was desperate to end the war. It was then that a young clerk at the patent office, Albert Einstein, had the idea of using all of the conventional bombs left in our arsenal and the strategic duct tape supply to rig up 2 enormous bombs so big that we could claim they were, in fact, atomic weapons, and then drop them on Japan. For his part in the ruse, Einstein was given partial credit for the development of nuclear fission. After the war, the US kept up the illusion that it had atomic weapons as a defense strategy. Other countries soon began to catch on and, knowing that the US would never admit its lie, claimed to have nuclear weapons of their own. The cold war was really just an attempt for the US to save face and keep credibility in the world community. So called "nuclear" power plants are really just natural gas plants rigged up to look like they could be powered by nuclear fission, which we never actually harnessed. It's one of the largest and least known conspiracies in human history, and it's still going on to this day.

"... you say 'erbs' and we say herbs..."



"...Because there's a farking 'H' in it"

Monopoly, originally invented by Charles Darrow, was intended at first to be a scathing satire of corporate America during the 1920's that lead up to the Great Depression. However, due to financial difficulties, Parker Brothers was unable to manufacture the game with the Bakelite figures in Darrow's original concept. In 1932, Darrow redesigned the game into the format we know today. Parker Brothers eventually manufactured a game similar to Darrow's original concept after WWII when cheaper plastics replaced Bakelite. That game went on to become Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Not entirely sure of victory in Portugal in 1778, Spain offers new world support to England for complete withdrawal from Portugal.

England agrees, and shfts Naval units to the North American revolution.

England shuts down privateers in the carribean, while Spain opens
Florida to the English navy for supplies and repairs.

Against now superior forces in America, France withdraws her navy, and in turn
all other military support.

Cornwallis crushes the revolution in the south, then moves north and pillages Virginia and Maryland.

Washingon is killed by a sniper at the battle of Baltimore, ending
the last signficant rebel resistance.

By not supporting the American revolutionaries, the French Monarchy avoids bankrupcy, preventing the french revolution. France turns to Austria, Prussia, and Russia to form an alliance against England. In 1785 Field Marshal Napoleon leads the combined alliance forces to victory against England in the battle
of Portsmouth.

The English Monarchy retreats to the new world. The King ends up in New York, and competing Aristocratic factions established themselves in Virginia and the Carolinas, eventually leading to the American war of succession in 1864.

The european coalition subsequently collapses in the face of ongoing guerilla resistance in Wales, Scotland and Ireland.

Napoleon then ...

Pablo Picasso was going to be a fascist dictator, but changed his mind when he got into art school.

Istanbul used to be called Go F*ck Yourself, Visagoths.

Grables'Daughter was one of the Founding Fathers of our country. She believed in the separation of church and state. She sewed the first American flag.

Or something.

Why were all those unread 'classics' written by men?
Because women discovered partying first.

/not a bookmark so I can read all of these later

The Confederacy won the Civil War.

Their economy fails miserably and in 1925 they beg to be readmitted to the United States as a territory.

America declines their offer and still rises to Superpower status, but is not held back in the Cold War and beyond by the "Silent Majority" of racists and bigots, and now remains a dominant but progressive world power with a balanced budget and low federal debt.

Neither the French nor the Indians won the French and Indian War.

Jesus drank vinegar before His crucifixion.

Strom Thurmond, Bob Dole, and John MCCain went to school with both Moses and Jesus.

Einstein stole his ideas from an unemployed amateur French physicist.

In 2019, a secret joint CIA/FBI/NSA investigation discovers that Rush Limbaugh is actually named Gub'N Tugyugh, an alien from a race known as the Toonada. He was hired by the Waataan, a hegemony of alien beings who control most of the life forms in the Small Magellanic Cloud. Gub'N is what the Waataan refer to as "First Strike," and as a prelude to the colonization of Earth, intended for Gub'N to gradually attenuate the intelligence of the dominant species through propaganda, misinformation and low-level telepathic influence (which all members of his species possess). The goal was that by 2030, humans as a whole would be largely ignorant and distrustful of any information they receive in the press, and as such would ignore the idea of a covert alien invasion until it was already underway and irreversible.

Toonadans cannot exist on Earth without the micro-nutrient B'zel, which they obtain by eating large quantities of what we call oxycontin. He was caught during an attempt to mind-control then-President Winfrey's Chief of Staff, and through a bizarre combination of aerobic exercise torture and IV-injections of Grape Nehi (which oddly enough acts on his species like sodium pentothal), the truth about the invasion was uncovered.

Danger Mouse: August 4, 1961, Barrck Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii

On August 3, 1961, an 18-year-old, 9-months pregnant woman flew halfway around the world so that she can give birth to her child in Kenya, taking advantage of what was then considered the world's most advanced healthcare system.

Confusion over the leap year in 2008 caused a Fox news television station to run March 1st's news on February 29th, 24 hours before the news was scheduled to occur.

And if it wasn't for illegal immigration from Mexico at the turn of the 21st century the United States economy would have collapsed.

Thomas Edison and Nikolai Tesla were lovers. They liked women, too.

Yes, they were AC/DC.

Total Farkers have conspired to stack the deck voting only for each other for "Smartest" comments.
It had been decided to keep the "Funniest" category free from this ballot stuffing because it may sometimes be amusing to scan for truly funny remarks.

In 1784 George Washington accidentally cross bred his apple trees with his hemp crop, unwittingly creating the first marijuana edible in the new world.

The old norse invented the modern sport of soccer as a part of their traditional victory celebration after a successul military campaign. After routing an enemy army, the viking invaders would take the surrendered forces and systematically decapitate the carls, earls, and freeman. Then they would take the roundest of the heads, and play a game of kicking the head through goal posts. The old norse originally called this Head-foot-game, or heofotplega.

As the practice of systematic decapitation went out of style, the vikings continued the game with a ball, but eventually realized they would have to change the name of the game to football.

However, the vikings who had brought the game of heofotplega to North America only changed the name of the game to soccer after teaching the natives the sport. Soccer was contrived as the name as an onomatopoetic term for the sound the head made when being kicked for the first time.

RedPhoenix122: Uglybarnacle: Barack Obama was born in the United States...

That joke never gets old...

or funny

Since cotton was a product of the South, more northern soldiers died from infection than bullets during the civil war. Because of the lack of bandages a Union army doctor created a process to press and bake corn meal into flakes that could be used as a compress to cover and close wounds easily on the battlefields. These flakes were shipped in casks to every field doctor in the northern army and proved helpful in decreasing soldier deaths from infection and was key to winning the war.

That doctor's name was John Harvey Kellogg. He later repurposed the flakes as a breakfast cereal and made a fortune.

Although we often joke about confusing Helen Keller / Anne Frank / Amelia Earhart, Amelia actually was nearly deaf due to her many years of proximity to loud aircraft engines without proper ear protection. She is credited with being the first person to use the phrase "You can say that again!" to indicate emphatic agreement, although it was initially a self-deprecating joke.

Everything on the History channel happened.

Teddy Roosevelt dug the Panama Canal after being asked about his plans.

History has proven this is the best sports logo ever.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is a direct descendant of Benjamin Franklin.

AbbeySomeone: Kerr Avon: An historical fact.

*twitch*

I'm surprised it took this long.


Not all cultures pronounce the 'h' strongly, so it sounds like " 'istorical " (for example). Thus, 'an' is correct. Well, valid.

/it's about pronunciation, not spelling

Also:

"Pizza was invented in Chicago. The pizza served in NY is a Jewish adaptation. where the bread isn't allowed to rise."

Theseus was a Greek sailor known for long pointless stories. One day zeus got so angry that he stabbed theseus to death with a pointy Rock. So when a teacher writes "thesis?" On your paper it means, " get to the point beforeI stab you with a sharp rock.

In July of 1972 Jane Fonda invaded North Vietnam where she single-handedly defeated the NVA and the world would never be safe for communism again.
Nixon awarded her the Congressional medal of freedom for her heroics, but she was too humble to accept and tossed it back over the White House fence.

I am the best selling photographer in the world.
Every print I have ever sold appreciates in value exponentially.

You can invest in my shockingly beautiful prints at http://gregscott.artistwebsites.com

// THREE essential facts, and a valuable hotlink.

In 1529 Suleiman managed to capture the city of Vienna thereby changing all of western history.

I am therefore I think.

The Milka chocolate conglomerate patented the means to breed purple cows & almost launched a patent war with Cadbury who test bred purple cows, albeit a slightly darker shade

ghostwind: ami5000: The war of 1812 started over pleated khakis.

The Americans won the War of 1812 with Canada, and have never let the Canadians forget about it.

Since then, Canada has been building a secret fleet of submarines under the arctic ice sheet, biding their time until they could take revenge upon the United States. Alarmed that the rapid ice melt will expose this operation before they have a chance to complete it, Canada has become one of the leading countries in the effort to curb global warming.

A local climate variance exists in the flat dry areas of Spain that allows significant layers of ice to collect on the wings of aircraft. The ice routinely becomes so heavy that planes are forced to make an emergency landing at the area's local landing strips. As the planes descend, the ice melts and falls as rain. Farmers in the region have noticed this phenomenom and sited crops along the approach paths these aircraft must take. The farmers have a saying, "The rain in Spain falls mainly from the planes."

Come on farkers, you're trying to hard. You guys generally make up historical facts every thread. Stick to your normal stuff, like "Obama turned water into wine at the last State Department dinner". You know, your normal stuff.

This tale revolves around the complete upheaval--reversal--of Benito Mussolini's existence, and I'd enjoy spending a short while, if you'll stay attentive, explaining the method by which he became the Dictator of Italy.

He was reared in Predappio and spent the lion's share of his youth on playing fields, completely idle. One day, while engaging in some athletics adjacent to a local institute of learning, two men of questionable intent began sowing tumult in the area where Mussolini resided. After a single bout of fisticuffs, Benito's mother became frightened and insisted that he relocate to the household of her sister and her husband.

He hailed a carriage, but as it approached he noticed 1) the identifying lettering closely matched a nickname he was known by and 2) a curious adornment hanging from the perch. He proclaimed these observations unusual, but disregarded them and bade the driver onward.

He arrived at the dwelling in the mid-evening and, promising to greet his coachman in the future despite his pungent aroma, surveyed his dominion. He had arrived at last, to claim his seat of power as the Dictator of Italy.

Alexander Hamilton was murdered after a one-nighter with some bridge-and-tunnel whore.

In the original DARPA implementation of DARPANet (the very, very early internet), phone numbers were used instead of IP addresses to identify one machine to another, since they all had to connect via phone lines through acoustic couplers at just over 50 Baud. The first machine on that network to send an e-mail had the address of 8675309, but oddly enough had the nickname "Penny", due to its dependence upon copper wiring.

In ancient Greece and in the early days of the Roman Empire, it was customary to allow a potential buyer one night alone with any farm animal they intended to purchase to ensure the quality of the animal. As the Roman empire grew this practice became known as "escrow" and continues to be used to this very day for the same purpose it was originally intended.

The oldest known writing is from the iron-rich Meso-Aryan rill villey region now popularly known to Westerners as Burnt Umbra (after which the Crayola colour is named, the same as Safflower is named after the late Utah crooner Daniel "White Pants" Safflower, Jr.). Starting at least nine thousand years ago, merchant princes recorded wares, stocks, and trades by pressing small dried bird's feet into partially solidified clay tablets. Marco Polo brought this method back to Italy, where it became known as 'scritti politti'. By that point, the Ancient Greeks had developed the process of standing around and speaking dramatically, and visiting Italians taught them how to write their speeches down so that they could repeat them and share them when they weren't speaking (for example, when they were sleeping, or out of town). Our word 'politics' arises from this fascinating history, though the original bird's feet are now long forgotten.

Barack Obama was born in the United States...

12 world cities have now been built around the Segway with three more almost complete.

Velveeta is actually the original cheese. All cheeses since then are a poor imitation.

Tea was discovered by Moses while on a fishing expedition, who first smoked the substance, then decided he could brew it like he normally prepared his mushrooms. He also dyed his hair neon blue, wore Reeboks, and was the first rheumatic basketball player to be able to complete the layup. He liked bronze cut angel hair cappellini alla alfredo e portabello, and his favorite kind of kool aid was any kind, spiked with vodka. And he was the first most interesting man in the world, but did not drink Dos Equis, as he preferred Tullamore Dew, the original Mountain Dew. Oh, and he was an Irish Immigrant to Russia. Also, he made a spaceship, not an ark.

Where's my prize?

The United States of America was known for the excellence of it's mass produced beer.

An historical fact.

*twitch*

Hankie Fest: In 1923, it was illegal to laugh in public in China.

it still is

Rutherford B. Hayes bedded so many women as President, a common slang phrase for someone who was horny was "Oh B. Hayes!"

The 2nd amendment was really kind of a joke.

Sarah Palin earned a PhD in political science before becoming governor of Alaska.

/too science fiction?

If you can hear certain pitches of dog whistles it means that you have a higher % of neanderthal DNA and probably have a secret unibrow.

Mr. Murder: Mary had sex with Joseph.

Their names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Because what are the chances of a man and woman living in/near Israel 2000 years ago being named 'Mary' and 'Joseph' who give birth to a bastard child and name it 'Jesus'

In 2037 a privately funded militia saved America from a Brazillian attempt to bomb a US nuclear power plant. Ever since Arbor Day has been celebrated on the anniversary of the day when the Arbor Mist Corporation save the United States and a new holiday "National Tree Day" was created for the orignial Arbor Day