The Bee Gees recorded their album E.S.P. in the Statue of Liberty's torch while it was closed for renovations from 1984-1986.

- The earth was created in 6 days less than 10,000 years ago
- There are talking snakes
- There are talking bushes of fire
- Carbon Dating of fossilized bones is inaccurate by millions of years
- Carbon Dating of holy or sacred artifacts is accurate to within a month

The Page Act of 1875 was actually passed to staunch the irruption of spontaneous kung-fu battles and excellently choreographed gun fights between Chinese laborers and American cowboys that plagued the Pacific Coast during the late 1800s. In his speech defending the act before Congress, Horace F. Page stated, "I bear no ill-will towards the Celestial Race; indeed I frequently am delighted to eat their delightful Chop Suey as my Chinaman friend, Chad Tzu, can well attest. Yet regardless of my personal affection for the yellow man, the Boxing-Riots and pistol ballets of these Saucy Lads is a disruption our civic tranquility can ill afford!"

Upon reading the speech, noted Chinese-American newspaper publisher Ng Poon Chew gathered together the five best fight coordinators of San Francisco and formed them into a dancing and singing troupe, named the "Saucy Lads" in mockery of the law. Thus did the early generation of Chinese-American pioneers invent the Boy Band.

/Coincidentally, the "Preppy one" and the "Trouble one" were played by the brothers Runme and Run Run Shaw, who would go on to reinvent the action movie genre after their deportation to Hong Kong.

The Pilgrims insisted on separate checks at the first Thanksgiving.

Is anyone else reading these in the voice of the faulty memory core from Portal 2?

Mad Libs was invented by Leonardo Da Vinci

George Washington was very shy in public. Many believe this was due to his inexperience in the public eye - he was a military man, not a politician. There is, however, a different reason that hasn't been revealed...until now.

George Washington had a fox tail. Early in life, he did everything he could to hide this unusual feature. As he got older, though, he became more disgusted with the idea of concealing what he believed to be an symbol of his wily nature on the battlefield, especially from those closest to him. So, he would have his pants tailored in two different ways - one set to conceal the fox tail in a hidden "sleeve", and another set that would allow it to poke through.

Although we often joke about confusing Helen Keller / Anne Frank / Amelia Earhart, Amelia actually was nearly deaf due to her many years of proximity to loud aircraft engines without proper ear protection. She is credited with being the first person to use the phrase "You can say that again!" to indicate emphatic agreement, although it was initially a self-deprecating joke.

The 'joos' did it, all of it, everything, it's all their fault.

generalDisdain: The scientist who invented anti-bacterial ointment was robbed of his fame due to an unfortunate typo on the packaging.
The world will never fully appreciate the young Dr. Neil Sporin.

That's just a myth. The real reason Dr. Sporin was never credited is because he was a Jew.

The spoon was invented in 1650 by a man named Freidrich Stahl working under King Helmut the 18th's order to create a utensil his toothless Uncle Ernst could use while eating soup.

It took Herr Stahl 3 years to invent the spoon. One of his first attempts was adopted my court seamstresses to protect their thumbs while sewing. Herr Stahl presented the spoon, which he crafted by filing the tines off of a Spork to King Helmut on March 22, 1650. Unfortunately, King Helmut the 18ths poor Uncle Ernst had long since starved. to death and Herr Stahl was beheaded on March 23, 1650.

In 1902 the Cambell's soup company declared the spoon the official utensil for all of their products.

Mr belding had an obsession with Lisa turddle's panties.

Schrodinger created the Schrodinger's Cat paradox as a justification for killing cats.

Robert J. Hanlon maliciously nicked himself while shaving.

Acad1228 was a lumberjack in the Saharah Forest.

Tatsuma: At 8:58:11 AM (US time), I made a statement that was not inflammatory, and stayed to defend it

I call bullshiat!

Did you know that Jesus and Moses used guns to conquer the Romans?

John and Robert Kennedy were both assassinated for their roll in the killing of Marilyn Monroe by the Italian mop who outsourced with the Cubans who also had a dog in the fight. Many in Hollywood had put out the contract unknown to others doing the same.

Morgan Fairchild is NOT my wife.

The christmas tree originated as an air freshener.

The Shroud of Turin is actually a beach blanket.

The Israelie version of the Audi automobile is the "yahudie".

God does make little green apples.

The Aztecs, knowing a good idea when they see one, developed chocolate beer to pick up girls.
Which in turn,decreased the need for wheels.

The first thing our hominid ancestors did after climbing down from the trees was run.

HIllary Clinton had to have a toenail like growth removed from her clitoris.

In the 1960s the UN debated a potential regulation that would restrict all airplanes to travelling with the direction of the earth's rotation due to the fact that crossing time zones in reverse could legally constitute time travel.

King George III made a decree that when a woman is married she will listen and do all that is required to satisfy her husband. George Washington and others agreed, and added an amendment into the Constitution of the United States using King George's exact verbiage.

Beavers do build dams and lodges from sticks much like birds' nests. However North America's largest rodent, the beaver, does not and cannot chop down whole living trees, drag them and place them in their constructions. Even a small tree may weigh close to a ton. The beaver myth was an Iroquois fable intended to inspire a work ethic just before the harvest season. Parties of community native women would chop down some trees nearby beaver lodges to bolster the stories. The practice is survived to this day mainly by northern redneck pranksters.

During prohibition, owners of Speakeasys would regularly brew beer using converted septic tanks. Continuation of this historical practice gives Anheuser-Busch products their distinctive taste.

In 2000, A massive voter conspiracy was uncovered during the 2000 presidential campaign involving the Bush Administration resulting in the detainment of GWB, Cheney, Rice, Rove and others. The administration was found guilty of bribes and voter machine tampering.. Gore won the election and 9/11 never happened.

How many of these will end up on FOX News?

eas81: Drew is actually one of the biggest contributors to Duke Basketball!!

[i758.photobucket.com image 640x429]

/No PS at work.

Shostie: Former President Jimmy Carter used to rape his dog.

...While current President Obama ate it from the other end, only stopping when he got to the cream filling.

Since cotton was a product of the South, more northern soldiers died from infection than bullets during the civil war. Because of the lack of bandages a Union army doctor created a process to press and bake corn meal into flakes that could be used as a compress to cover and close wounds easily on the battlefields. These flakes were shipped in casks to every field doctor in the northern army and proved helpful in decreasing soldier deaths from infection and was key to winning the war.

That doctor's name was John Harvey Kellogg. He later repurposed the flakes as a breakfast cereal and made a fortune.

RedPhoenix122: Uglybarnacle: Barack Obama was born in the United States...

That joke never gets old...

or funny

/oblig

The National Environmental Policy Act, or NEPA, was revised by Al Gore and RFK Jr. to assume ALL subsequent federal actions and those retroactive to 1972 would be considered "...Beneficial to the environment..." unless otherwise noted.

Jesus was an alien.

Ham radio operators are encouraged to broadcast music as often as possible.

The old norse invented the modern sport of soccer as a part of their traditional victory celebration after a successul military campaign. After routing an enemy army, the viking invaders would take the surrendered forces and systematically decapitate the carls, earls, and freeman. Then they would take the roundest of the heads, and play a game of kicking the head through goal posts. The old norse originally called this Head-foot-game, or heofotplega.

As the practice of systematic decapitation went out of style, the vikings continued the game with a ball, but eventually realized they would have to change the name of the game to football.

However, the vikings who had brought the game of heofotplega to North America only changed the name of the game to soccer after teaching the natives the sport. Soccer was contrived as the name as an onomatopoetic term for the sound the head made when being kicked for the first time.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt wasn't only president but also had a secret double life as Professor Charles Xavier, the founder of the X-Men.

I got laid.

AIDS jumped to the human population when an ancestor of George Bush's impregnated a chimp. That chimp gave birth to two babies, one with a goofy look and big ears, and the other a beautiful bouncing-baby chimp. Aliens discovered the anomalous chimp/human baby and began to clone it with plans to take over Earth's future governments--because Aliens are Republicans, and they both make strange bed-fllows.

Grables'Daughter: Grables'Daughter was one of the Founding Fathers of our country. She believed in the separation of church and state. She sewed the first American flag into a corset. She subsequently achieved fame when Benjamin Franklin ran a series of lithographs of her wearing her American flag corset, on page 3 of Poor Richard's Almanac.

Or something.

FTFY