Im glad subby clarified that in the last sentence. I got to 'the dog ripped his clothes off' and wondered why the dog was wearing clothes

Ugh, at least the dog stopped at the clothing. This could have been a million times worse.

An Eastlake woman was arrested on Monday and charged with two counts of child endangering after police allegedly found her passed out drunk in her home, while with her children, ages three and five.

Uhmm, rest of paragraph is.... ???
Apparently the children are fine and were hired by the station to write their articles.

I wonder if the cop gets any Mahoney Maloney jokes.

Ah, good old Eastlake. When the Indians moved their Single A team there (now known as the Lake County Captains) the local paper had a contest to name the team. One of the entries that the paper reported was "The Eastlake Hillbillies" but they didn't put it in for the voting. Should have written in my vote for it anyway.

gopher321: FTA: "According to Maloney, officers discovered that the dog had ripped off the child's shirt and was biting the child's pants, in an effort to remove the clothing from the child's body. Maloney says the dog did not bite the child, only the clothing."

That's...odd. Any reason why a dog would do that?


The dog might have been protecting the kid from what he thought was clamping itself onto the child.

Maybe the kid just started wearing clothes and the dog wasn't used to seeing him in anything but a diaper, so he attacked the clothes.

This needs captioned.

"I drink a whiskey drink / I drink a vodka drink / and when I have to pee / I don't make it to the bathroom and just pass out on the sofa, so leave me the eff alone while I wet myself."

Fark the toddler.

FloydA: Buffet: Fark the toddler.

[i105.photobucket.com image 426x639]

So....who's that creeepy cat?

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: LeroyBourne: I wonder if the cop gets any Mahoney Maloney jokes.

You mean Maloney bologna?


no, maloney sounds like mahoney
maaaaaaaaaaaaloooooooneeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!!!

gopher321: FTA: "According to Maloney, officers discovered that the dog had ripped off the child's shirt and was biting the child's pants, in an effort to remove the clothing from the child's body. Maloney says the dog did not bite the child, only the clothing."

That's...odd. Any reason why a dog would do that?

Maybe doggy was giving fashion tips to the tot.

gopher321: FTA: "According to Maloney, officers discovered that the dog had ripped off the child's shirt and was biting the child's pants, in an effort to remove the clothing from the child's body. Maloney says the dog did not bite the child, only the clothing."

That's...odd. Any reason why a dog would do that?

Obviously because they didnt have direct tv. Shouldve started the chain reaction with " if ur drunk and dont have direct tv, then you'll pass out from boredom"

Krymson Tyde: This needs captioned.

I gots my am's and pm's mixed up... again. From now on, I'll only drink when it's dark out.

gopher321: FTA: "According to Maloney, officers discovered that the dog had ripped off the child's shirt and was biting the child's pants, in an effort to remove the clothing from the child's body. Maloney says the dog did not bite the child, only the clothing."

That's...odd. Any reason why a dog would do that?

Same reason that dogs do most of their weird behavior. Someone rewarded them for it (or it's it's own reward). Probably the dog did it while playing a few times, people thought it was hilarious and gave the dog all kinds of attention, and it went from there.

Ever see the millions of dogs chasing their tail videos on youtube? Same thing. They sort of had a propensity to do it once in a while, and someone reinforced it a lot, usually not on purpose.

Krymson Tyde: This needs captioned.

My caption: Roll Tide!

/ zing

// sorry had to do it

So switch to DirecTV?

jaylectricity: Please let this be the new headline formula. I love/hate those commercials! hahahaha

Yeah, props to subby for being original!

/but would I hit the dog?

violentsalvation: I already have Direct TV.

Satellite TV is overrated, but then TV programming still sucks these days, regardless of who your carriers and providers are.

Also, DirecTV. (My pedantic bone was itching.)

My dog yanks at my sleeve when he wants food. If this broad neglects her kids, you can imagine that feeding the dog isn't high on her priority list. Its a good doggie that didn't eat the tasty toddler.

She was dreaming about reenacting scenes with Charlie Sheen.

The causality chain seems more likely than the stupid commercials' sequences of events.

Krymson Tyde: [localtvwjw.files.wordpress.com image 302x226]
This needs captioned.

No. It needs quarantined.

El_Frijole_Blanco:
Dogs are notorious crap eaters, my guess is she was not a prompt dog feeder or diaper changer

Great headline, +1 subby.

So the kid was never in any real trouble.

Oh, c'mon. Who HASN'T passed out drunk while their small children wander around having their clothes ripped off by dogs? HELICOPTER PARENTS, that's who. Hell, when I was a kid, we had WILD animals trying to rip off our clothes before we were a year old, and we fought them. That precious snowflake sounds way too soft. Probably has fake autism or something.