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(AZCentral)   Low-alcohol wines are the next big thing. Coming up next: No-contact sex   (azcentral.com) divider line 71
    More: Fail, chardonnay, Yavapai County, Sauvignon Blanc, vineyards, Berger Gruner Veltliner, crisps  
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3671 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2012 at 9:59 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-06 12:02:53 PM
Water, it's what's for thirsty.
 
2012-05-06 12:03:58 PM

chewielouie: "You are fined one credit for a violation of the verbal morality statute."


Good. A few more violations and I won't have to use the 3 shells.
 
2012-05-06 12:08:59 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: If you have enough doubts about your partner that u wear a condom for a blowjob, it seems that it would be wise to reconsider your choice in partners lol.


Sorry, dude. Your attitude is a great way to get AIDS. "He/She doesn't look like they have anything" is a great way to catch something. But a blowjob without a condom feels great, and that's the real reason to do it, not any of that 'trust your partner' bullshiat. Same with having vaginal/anal sex without a condom: feels great, none of that 'trust your partner' guilt-tripping.

/what's the incidence of throat cancer and STDs found in the throat, again?
// .. among senior citizens?
///it feels good
/no reason to dress it up as anything other than that
 
2012-05-06 12:14:04 PM

valkore: AbbeySomeone: Dear subby -
Not all wines offer the kick that your chosen NightTrain or MD20/20 do. Sorry if this boggles you.

It's not like the author is going for the fine wine angle, either:

Three things we love about this Gruner? 1) It's a liter bottle, so you're getting 25 percent more wine per bottle. 2) It has an irreverent "crown cap" or " Coke bottle cap" (problematic only if you don't finish it in one go). 3) The taste is simple, mild and crisp, making it a very refreshing spring wine. 86 points.

These are "fun wines". Refreshing, easy to drink, and won't get you (too) tanked. See Sofia Coppola's sparkling wine in a can, complete with straw:

[media.tumblr.com image 300x357]

What I don't see is what the ABV percentages are on any of these wines. My guess is that they are still in the double digits and a bottle will get you wasted faster than a six pack of Rolling Rock. Subby is just trolling for posts.


Somehow I doubt that one bottle of low-alcohol wine will get me wasted. Maybe I'll have to try a few bottles and report back.
 
2012-05-06 12:20:49 PM
Non-contact sex? You mean like Lawnmower Man?
i4.ytimg.com
/image hot linked, not sure if the scene is hot
 
2012-05-06 12:50:46 PM

MythDragon: ArcadianRefugee: Kyoki: Touchless sex?

Oblig...

Demolition Man

Damn you.

[cache.gawker.com image 500x302]

Damn both of you.

[content.internetvideoarchive.com image 320x240]


Damn all of you!

i291.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-06 01:17:08 PM

flixter: So most farkers are ahead of the curve on the next trend?


This. LOL.
 
2012-05-06 01:39:09 PM

Lsherm: Even though that guy knew what he was talking about, he sounds like a total douche. I wonder if it's even possible to review wine without sounding like a total douche.


It is. But I think the secret is that it has to be short. I shall use my favorite wine to try out this method:

Leelanau Cellars Select Harvest Riesling is a sweet wine that tastes kind of peachy and tingles on your tongue. It goes well with food. I bought a bottle for 10.99 at Meijer and it was delicious!

There. That's not completely douchey, is it...?
 
2012-05-06 02:55:44 PM
Cool. Alcohol destroys much of the subtle flavoring.
 
2012-05-06 02:56:26 PM

MrBallou: intotheabyss81: No contact sex? I already have that, it's called my marriage.

/: (
//somebody kill me already
///wrist slashies

I feel your pain. Pass the strychnine.


We should start a support group. I feel your pain bros.
 
2012-05-06 03:57:27 PM
Low alcohol = more sweet = more mass market appeal. The only reason this "fad" exists is smaller wineries trying to get bigger by going lowest common denominator.
 
2012-05-06 04:12:08 PM

tbyte: Somehow I doubt that one bottle of low-alcohol wine will get me wasted. Maybe I'll have to try a few bottles and report back.


1 L of 10% ABV wine contains 100 mL of pure ethyl alcohol, which is 5 shots of your favorite 80 proof whisky. Math, how does it work?

Note, in wine, 13-14.5% is standard alcohol content, 8-13% is sweet or late harvest low alcohol wine, and anything below that is a rare novelty, so 10% is a reasonable guesstimate.
 
2012-05-06 04:46:00 PM
The big, high-alcohol Napa reds are a recent style of winemaking. The European reds often are lighter and have been so historically, so this is hardly a new fad or trend.
 
2012-05-06 04:52:55 PM

foxyshadis: Low alcohol = more sweet = more mass market appeal. The only reason this "fad" exists is smaller wineries trying to get bigger by going lowest common denominator.


There's been dry, light European reds for ages. It's not a fad. Light alcohol wines are perfect if instead of drinking it to get drunk, you drink it with meals.
 
2012-05-06 06:20:55 PM
No Moscato!?
List, I am disappoint.
 
2012-05-06 06:33:39 PM
Astral sex or Demolition Man?

Ah, right.
 
2012-05-06 06:42:45 PM
So these things will be like wine coolers?

Bartles and Jaymes thank you for your support.
 
2012-05-06 08:00:19 PM
Wine is a woman's drink. Like herbal tea and Zima.
 
2012-05-06 08:24:01 PM

intotheabyss81: No contact sex? I already have that, it's called my marriage.

/: (
//somebody kill me already
///wrist slashies


No contact sex? You lucky bastard. It beats the alternative: no contact sex without the contact part.

/cancer sucks
 
2012-05-07 04:47:38 AM
Low alcohol wines would be great if they came with lower prices. Problem is they often cost the same as regular wine meaning someone somewhere is pocketing the difference. Here in Ireland I've also noticed that the 5.5% wines which have started to appear don't actually say they're wine anywhere. There must be some legal definition which they don't fall under. I've tried some and they taste alright but really you may as well be drinking fruit juice.
 
2012-05-07 12:30:42 PM
Its called mutual masturbation people. Get ove rit.
 
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