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(Cracked)   Why it sucks to be Ant Man (besides the assumptions about your penis size)   (cracked.com) divider line 31
    More: Amusing, Ant-Man, small penis, kaiju, Oh Shit, Iron Man  
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5498 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 May 2012 at 6:20 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-05 06:27:14 PM
I saw the Cracked link and my brain immediately turned the headline into "5 Reasons why it sucks to be Ant Man (besides the assumptions about your penis size) ."

I read the whole article wondering when the list started, and where the link to page 2 was.
 
2012-05-05 06:33:10 PM
For the sake of brevity, I'll instead post a list of all the reasons why it doesn't suck to be Ant Man.
 
2012-05-05 06:50:10 PM
 
2012-05-05 06:51:45 PM
There's an Ant Man? Jebus.
 
2012-05-05 07:04:49 PM
On the plus side he can solve any problem that occurs at a picnic.

/shamelessly stolen from last night's Ferret Man monologue
 
2012-05-05 07:06:36 PM
#1: you get Cracked to write an article about you.
 
2012-05-05 08:41:34 PM
Hank Pym is a great character. He's an asshole. He's flawed like most of Marvel's characters. He's always playing second fiddle to Richards. I don't see why they can't make him both Giant Man and Ant Man. Just go straight into him creating Pym particles that shrink and enlarge. That way he is a useful member of the Avengers. Maybe that's one reason they won't use him. They can't use Richards until Fox doesn't have the rights to the Fantastic Four any more.
 
2012-05-05 09:08:00 PM

TheAuldTriangle: Hank Pym is a great character. He's an asshole. He's flawed like most of Marvel's characters. He's always playing second fiddle to Richards. I don't see why they can't make him both Giant Man and Ant Man. Just go straight into him creating Pym particles that shrink and enlarge. That way he is a useful member of the Avengers. Maybe that's one reason they won't use him. They can't use Richards until Fox doesn't have the rights to the Fantastic Four any more.


Why would they need Reed Richards if they wanted Hank Pym in the Avengers? The Avengers was spectacular, but it could have been better w/ a great Hank and Janet Pym. As for Janet's powers, in some books (Ultimates) she's a mutant. That might be a deal breaker w/ Fox (same goes for Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver.) Hawkeye/Black Widow were okay, but a well done Janet/Hank could have been great.
 
2012-05-05 09:10:31 PM
Atom, from DC, was wayyy better, and could travel thru phone lines, at least until cell phones took over
 
2012-05-05 09:24:07 PM
I might be in the minority here, but I like the new Ant-Man (Eric O'Grady) better than Pym. He's just so adorably sleazy.
 
2012-05-05 09:28:16 PM

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: Atom, from DC, was wayyy better, and could travel thru phone lines, at least until cell phones took over


Yes but unlike Atom Hank Pym can grow 100 feet tall and smack the Hulk around.
 
2012-05-05 09:32:03 PM

TheAuldTriangle: Hank Pym is a great character. He's an asshole. He's flawed like most of Marvel's characters. He's always playing second fiddle to Richards. I don't see why they can't make him both Giant Man and Ant Man. Just go straight into him creating Pym particles that shrink and enlarge. That way he is a useful member of the Avengers. Maybe that's one reason they won't use him. They can't use Richards until Fox doesn't have the rights to the Fantastic Four any more.


You haven't watched Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, have you?

Because they do it pretty much exactly how you describe. He's Ant Man, but he also does all the other Pym Particle stuff to be Giant Man at the same time, and he gave Jan her powers, too.

I highly recommend the show. Here are some clips:

Power Man & Iron Fist talk about their current job.

This is one of the first episodes, but it's the one that introduces Ant Man: The Man in the Ant Hill
 
2012-05-05 10:37:46 PM
images.wikia.com
 
2012-05-05 10:59:13 PM
i2.listal.com
 
2012-05-05 11:01:58 PM
Why it doesn't suck to be Ant-Man (well, Hank Pym) in the new Avengers cartoon:

s1.zerochan.net
 
2012-05-05 11:15:35 PM

Iczer: Why it doesn't suck to be Ant-Man (well, Hank Pym) in the new Avengers cartoon:

[s1.zerochan.net image 124x240]


Why it doesn't suck to be Ant-Man (Eric O'Grady) in the comics:

goodcomics.comicbookresources.com
 
2012-05-06 12:12:26 AM

Iczer: Why it doesn't suck to be Ant-Man


Well, unless something has changed, The Wasp has been dead since 2008, so that would kinda suck for him.
 
2012-05-06 12:15:42 AM

Kurmudgeon: Iczer: Why it doesn't suck to be Ant-Man

Well, unless something has changed, The Wasp has been dead since 2008, so that would kinda suck for him.


Surprisingly shes still dead! almost 4 years! going for a record I think.


Though he IS shacking up with Tigra.

And seriously Hank Pym is awesome in Avengers Academy, probably one of the best super hero books on the shelves right now. Check it out.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avengers_Academy
 
2012-05-06 12:17:27 AM
26.media.tumblr.com

The Atom agrees.
 
2012-05-06 12:38:30 AM

TheAuldTriangle: Hank Pym is a great character. He's an asshole. He's flawed like most of Marvel's characters. He's always playing second fiddle to Richards. I don't see why they can't make him both Giant Man and Ant Man. Just go straight into him creating Pym particles that shrink and enlarge. That way he is a useful member of the Avengers. Maybe that's one reason they won't use him. They can't use Richards until Fox doesn't have the rights to the Fantastic Four any more.


Until they get Richards, they still have Stark and Banner.
 
2012-05-06 04:20:44 AM

ronin7: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: Atom, from DC, was wayyy better, and could travel thru phone lines, at least until cell phones took over.

Yes but unlike Atom Hank Pym can grow 100 feet tall and smack the Hulk around.


1) The Atom can shrink to microscopic size, and can travel thru fiber-optics by riding photons.

2) Hank Pym can grow to 100 ft, but growing more than 60 ft puts too much strain on his body.

3) Even at 60 ft, Hank is still no match for the Hulk's strength.

//Nerd rant over
 
2012-05-06 05:00:16 AM

FuryOfFirestorm: ronin7: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: Atom, from DC, was wayyy better, and could travel thru phone lines, at least until cell phones took over.

Yes but unlike Atom Hank Pym can grow 100 feet tall and smack the Hulk around.

1) The Atom can shrink to microscopic size, and can travel thru fiber-optics by riding photons.

2) Hank Pym can grow to 100 ft, but growing more than 60 ft puts too much strain on his body.

3) Even at 60 ft, Hank is still no match for the Hulk's strength.

//Nerd rant over


That reminds me of a bit on The Simpsons. Bart's talking with the owner of the cool new comic book store in town.

Bart: "But let's see what you know about superheroes!"
Milo: "Hey, I'm all about the capes. Flame on."
Bart: "Who's stronger- the Thung or the Mulk? And show your work."
Milo: "Whoa, head rush! Okay...well, the Mulk kicked a tidal wave into the sun, whereas the Thung gave a piggyback ride to the 1985 Chicago Bears...man, that's a tough one."
 
2012-05-06 06:42:18 AM

FuryOfFirestorm: ronin7: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: Atom, from DC, was wayyy better, and could travel thru phone lines, at least until cell phones took over.

Yes but unlike Atom Hank Pym can grow 100 feet tall and smack the Hulk around.

1) The Atom can shrink to microscopic size, and can travel thru fiber-optics by riding photons.

2) Hank Pym can grow to 100 ft, but growing more than 60 ft puts too much strain on his body.

3) Even at 60 ft, Hank is still no match for the Hulk's strength.

//Nerd rant over


The problem here is you took the statements waaaaaay to seriously. When you do that you make us all look bad.
 
2012-05-06 11:35:33 AM

BroVinny: I might be in the minority here, but I like the new Ant-Man (Eric O'Grady) better than Pym. He's just so adorably sleazy.


He's also dead and has (probably) been replaced by an adaptoid.

Also, this is the primary reason why it's good to be Hank Pym right now:

1.bp.blogspot.com

Well, if you're into frisky redheaded cat girls in bikinis anyway.
 
2012-05-06 11:43:25 AM

TwistedFark: BroVinny: I might be in the minority here, but I like the new Ant-Man (Eric O'Grady) better than Pym. He's just so adorably sleazy.

He's also dead and has (probably) been replaced by an adaptoid.


He's dead?!? I hate not being able to keep up with this stuff.


Also, this is the primary reason why it's good to be Hank Pym right now:

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x284]

Well, if you're into frisky redheaded cat girls in bikinis anyway.


Why do I find that strangely attractive and simultaneously gross?
 
2012-05-06 12:53:35 PM

TwistedFark: Also, this is the primary reason why it's good to be Hank Pym right now:


Though technically at that point in time it was Skrull Pym putting the moves on Tigra.
 
2012-05-06 04:17:13 PM

Malacon: I saw the Cracked link and my brain immediately turned the headline into "5 Reasons why it sucks to be Ant Man (besides the assumptions about your penis size) ."

I read the whole article wondering when the list started, and where the link to page 2 was.


Don't feel bad, it wasn't just you.

WHAR LIST?
 
2012-05-06 08:17:30 PM

ronin7: The problem here is you took the statements waaaaaay to seriously. When you do that you make us all look bad.


But someone on the internet was wrong!

Dude, I was just presenting the facts (or as factual as a comic can get, anyway). If you want to see real nerd rage, go to a Star Wars thread and say "Phantom Menace was the best SW movie and Jar-Jar Binks is way more awesome than Han Solo!".
 
2012-05-07 02:10:51 AM

Mugato: There's an Ant Man? Jebus.


Only since like 1962. Or whatever.
 
2012-05-07 10:49:20 AM

texdent: TwistedFark: Also, this is the primary reason why it's good to be Hank Pym right now:

Though technically at that point in time it was Skrull Pym putting the moves on Tigra.


AND the Ant Man on the arrow isn't Hank either. That was Scott Lang (now deceased thank to Bendis!)

But Hank DID get to go further than the Atom did, It was never stated what the reciprocation entailed.
 
2012-05-07 03:28:04 PM

ClintBartonWannabe: AND the Ant Man on the arrow isn't Hank either. That was Scott Lang (now deceased thank to Bendis!)


Actually, thanks to the recent mini Children's Crusade, Scott Lang is alive again but his daughter is dead.
 
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