Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(McSweeney's)   An open letter from a Gen-Xer. "There is no shame in standing naked in your kitchen dipping french bread into mug full of olive oil"   (mcsweeneys.net ) divider line
    More: Amusing, McSweeney, Red Lobster, Penn Station, rational decision, kitchen dipping, mate choice, Lacunar amnesia  
•       •       •

13401 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 May 2012 at 8:19 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



170 Comments   (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-05-05 08:49:17 PM  
I call a 27 year old a Gen Xer, Gen Xers call everything under the sun a hipster.

We're all good here, right?
 
2012-05-05 08:49:55 PM  
McSweeney's is still around? How precious.

Y'all got trolled, by the way.
 
2012-05-05 08:51:01 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Of course there's shame in standing in your kitchen dipping french bread into a mug of olive oil.

If you have a mug of olive oil, you should be dipping your penis into it.


If she had a functional penis at her disposal, she wouldn't be writing that article.
 
2012-05-05 08:53:24 PM  
Can I spread olive oil on your naughty parts and dip bread into it?
 
2012-05-05 08:53:49 PM  
I'm 26 and found this little diatribe boring and whiny. People judge each others for their choices. This chick judges people for dressing differently as they age - really? Meanwhile, she doesn't want to be judged for sleeping around.

Do what you want, dear, and everyone else will, too. You'll get over it.
 
2012-05-05 08:55:37 PM  
Cleo Plagg? If my mom named me that I'd dip my head in acid.
 
2012-05-05 08:55:53 PM  
The author sounds like a loser.
 
2012-05-05 08:55:53 PM  
She definitely sounds fat and entitled. biatch, nobody cares about your opinions or life, thank god someone thinks your vapid writing skills are being paid for.
 
2012-05-05 08:56:11 PM  
There is nothing wrong with what she is doing. The only "problem" would be that when she is 35 and wants to live a suburban life, she's going to realize she has no savings, and pregnancy is much more difficult to achieve. Living in the now is great, but at least try to have some foresight.
 
2012-05-05 08:58:45 PM  
"It was a large room. Full of people. All kinds. And they had all arrived at the same buidling at more or less the same time. And they were all free. And they were all asking themselves the same question: What is behind that curtain? You were born. And so you're free. So happy birthday."

This would sound better set to Laurie Anderson's music/performance art.

But she would still sound like a whining beeyotch.
 
2012-05-05 08:59:04 PM  

Babwa Wawa: Isn't 27 years a little too old to be thinking that everything everyone writes, says and does is a statement in judgment of you?

I felt like I was reading the diary of a typical self-absorbed high schooler or silly college student complaining about how everyone else is boring and unable to understand her.


So... she's Bella from Twilight?
 
2012-05-05 09:03:09 PM  
She just sounds like she's having a bad week and spends way too much time in the city. The real atrocity here was committed by the "designer" who built this site. It made my GenX retinas commit suicide.
 
2012-05-05 09:03:50 PM  

FlashHarry: NowhereMon: If she's 27, she's not generation X.

came here to say this.

/43, and a gen-xer.


Let's not be hasty. If we say 27-year-olds are in our generation then it's still OK to have sex with them.
 
2012-05-05 09:04:05 PM  

abitofbuffalo: She sounds like an ex of mine, constantly talking about how she is going to be super important someday, with no real plan or job. All the while she spends her free time getting slutty drunk and stoned. It was fun for a couple of weeks, but it got old and very unattractive pretty quickly. The night that broke the camels back was the night she skipped out on a premiere party for a movie I worked on and afterward, when I showed up to her friends house, she was already shiatfaced & cutting up lines of coke. I walked out that night.

Today she is still suckling off of daddy's teet, while I'm off doing bigger and better things than ever before. There is a reason the girl from TFA is still single, nobody wants a barfly, they'll pick them up for random night, but it's not the kind of girl you take home to mom. Not to mention from her writing she sounds like she might have a pretty serious drinking problem and all the baggage that comes with that.


Sounds like your ex missed out on a real prize
 
2012-05-05 09:04:52 PM  
FTFA: I have a full-time grown-up job. I have coworkers and friends at work. I make money. I pay my bills. Some weeks my bar tab is more than my grocery tab, but I am not saving for a fancy new dresser or a light switch cover. This does not make me irresponsible; it makes me 27 and single and happy.

Someone loan me a paper bag so I fark this ugly twat's brains out.
anonymousradioshow.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-05-05 09:07:27 PM  
I appreciated reading that. As a guy who is currently undergoing pressure to get married by his longterm partner I'm certainly always evaluating the benefits of single life. I am simply not ready.

FTA: "I realize these actions may appear destructive to you. However, I believe daily Facebook updates from former high school classmates featuring their children dressed up in a variety of holiday outfits to be just as disturbing. So too are those updates from alums that haven't yet conceived America's next happiest baby, and instead post five sentences about how sleepy their dogs are. I'm supposed to care that their dogs are tired?"

This. Even though I often post about my cats, and how sweepy weepy cuddwiddy lowiddy kitty bo-bitties they is.
 
2012-05-05 09:08:08 PM  
It's McSweeney's and that means it's quirky. So whatever, ok?
 
2012-05-05 09:09:34 PM  
So someone's nearing 30 and feeling insecure about getting 'old', so she's broadcasting all the weird shiat she does (Everyone who lives alone does much of this, at any age.), in order to make herself feel young and interesting.

/She sounds old.
 
2012-05-05 09:09:53 PM  
It's a whiny rant, but it warns at the beginning that it's going to be a whiny rant, judging the people who judge her. Fair enough.

She sounds like she spends most of her time doing things other than whining and ranting, and I know I've occasionally been guilty of the "open letter" McRantyPants moment, myself. Haven't we all?

I can't judge her about her life plan not leaving room for kids, because I don't know if she wants them or could even have them if she did. As for the rest, life is not a dress rehearsal. There are much worse life mistakes out there to be made than a little friendly carousing.

I should know. I've made some of them.

When I'm doing better than her, then I'll think about throwing stones.
 
2012-05-05 09:10:49 PM  
olive oil?

gen-x does pepper cheese wiz with whole 15 grain pizza dough
 
2012-05-05 09:13:40 PM  
Who doesn't stand naked in the kitchen and dip french bread in a mug of olive oil from time to time?
 
2012-05-05 09:13:57 PM  
It sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than anybody else.
 
2012-05-05 09:14:31 PM  

bojon: Excuse me. Is there something wrong with French bread and olive oil?


Only if the person whose face you covered with oil didn't want that.
 
2012-05-05 09:17:04 PM  
Naked? And dipping artisan bread into EVOO? Come to me, my soul mate! Let us dine as not-to-picky gourmands and mate as the slightly overweight primates we were borne to be!
 
2012-05-05 09:17:07 PM  
I am 27 years old, and on occasion I still drink until I throw up.

There is no shame in standing naked in your kitchen dipping french bread into mug full of olive oil


blog.oup.com

No shame if you don't mind having a beach ball ass and a gunt like Lena Dunham
 
2012-05-05 09:17:17 PM  

NowhereMon: If she's 27, she's not generation X.


Came here to say the same thing. I couldn't find anything else worth commenting on in that story. I want that 3 minutes back. :P
 
2012-05-05 09:19:13 PM  
I don't think I've ever thrown up from drinking. However I HAVE done tons of other stupid things, too long to list here. I have also done one fat and ugly thing in a Dallas hotel, but I'll stop thinking about that.
 
2012-05-05 09:22:04 PM  
Makes ya wonder what her degree is in...just kinda curious.
 
2012-05-05 09:24:08 PM  

Julie Cochrane: It's a whiny rant, but it warns at the beginning that it's going to be a whiny rant, judging the people who judge her. Fair enough.

She sounds like she spends most of her time doing things other than whining and ranting, and I know I've occasionally been guilty of the "open letter" McRantyPants moment, myself. Haven't we all?

I can't judge her about her life plan not leaving room for kids, because I don't know if she wants them or could even have them if she did. As for the rest, life is not a dress rehearsal. There are much worse life mistakes out there to be made than a little friendly carousing.

I should know. I've made some of them.

When I'm doing better than her, then I'll think about throwing stones.


What she needs is a good hard farking, preferably up the anus so she doesn't get pregnant.

If you "feel judged" how stupid is it to throw it out there in public for everyone to judge you by making a blog? So her parents and peers are telling her she should have a baby. And her hormones are raging. But it's not that she's confused about bringing another person into the world, it's because the rest of us are stupid.

She'll get her baby, and then sue the sperm donor for child support. Kaching!
 
2012-05-05 09:26:13 PM  
27 year old college graduate, and most of your friends are already paired off and reproducing in the suburbs? I find this implausible. Unless you went to college at Baylor or BYU or something.

To be fair, though, I'm 39 years old. When I was 27, there was no Facebook, and for the most part I had no idea what most of my high school classmates were up to.
 
2012-05-05 09:28:59 PM  
Also, while I find this open letter to be a disturbing sign of someone's thirdlife crisis and ensuing downward spiral into khaki dress pants and gardening, I agree with the general message of "mind your own business". People never "get a life" at the whims of their peers; they do what's interesting to them, which may be as "boring" as sitting in a dimly-lit room with a good book for the entire weekend. Fitting into someone else's mold is a recipe for misery and boredom.

/Interested in reading, drinking, writing ad-hoc Java apps, gardening, and whatever I find interesting
//I think I just went all open-lettery
 
2012-05-05 09:29:48 PM  

NowhereMon: If she's 27, she's not generation X.


This, I'm 27. I'm a Gen Yer thank you very much.
 
2012-05-05 09:33:03 PM  

Scopa: There is nothing wrong with what she is doing. The only "problem" would be that when she is 35 and wants to live a suburban life, she's going to realize she has no savings, and pregnancy is much more difficult to achieve. Living in the now is great, but at least try to have some foresight.


Something tells me she's not maxxing out her 401(k) plan.
 
2012-05-05 09:35:03 PM  
Has 60 Minutes found a replacement for Andy Rooney?
 
2012-05-05 09:40:42 PM  
She sounds...lonely
 
2012-05-05 09:41:48 PM  

you are a puppet: abitofbuffalo: She sounds like an ex of mine, constantly talking about how she is going to be super important someday, with no real plan or job. All the while she spends her free time getting slutty drunk and stoned. It was fun for a couple of weeks, but it got old and very unattractive pretty quickly. The night that broke the camels back was the night she skipped out on a premiere party for a movie I worked on and afterward, when I showed up to her friends house, she was already shiatfaced & cutting up lines of coke. I walked out that night.

Today she is still suckling off of daddy's teet, while I'm off doing bigger and better things than ever before. There is a reason the girl from TFA is still single, nobody wants a barfly, they'll pick them up for random night, but it's not the kind of girl you take home to mom. Not to mention from her writing she sounds like she might have a pretty serious drinking problem and all the baggage that comes with that.

Sounds like your ex missed out on a real prize


She claimed she was going to be a studio exec, and snubbed her nose at people that didn't go to USC as she took bong hits. I'm the Key Grip for one of the largest independent studios in Hollywood. My work is all over Syfy, Lifetime, RedBox, etc. Talk is cheap when you don't have the balls to produce results.
 
2012-05-05 09:42:03 PM  
Sounds like she thinks anyone who doesn't still live the manic pixie dreamgirl lifestyle post-college is some kind of yuppie sellout.
 
2012-05-05 09:42:17 PM  

BolloxReader: Has 60 Minutes found a replacement for Andy Rooney?


Yes, thankfully they went with Golda Meir.
 
2012-05-05 09:43:40 PM  

superdude72: To be fair, though, I'm 39 years old. When I was 27, there was no Facebook, and for the most part I had no idea what most of my high school classmates were up to.


Same age, same boat. I didn't go to any of my reunions and hardly ever went back to my hometown, so when I did join FB a few years ago, I was blown away by how boring most people's lives are. (Well, except for my mil colleagues, who were the reason I got an account). Some even have kids that are 19. But I really don't see any reason to judge them for settling down and having kids... they probably regret it in comparison to me. It's just ...life, and most are lucky if they aren't divorced and/or drowning in debt.

Cleo isn't a socialite- she has all of 9 followers on Twitter, and ought to grow up and realize that her paired-off friends are worrying about things other than her single, post-collegiate lifestyle.

/but now that her screed is all over the internet, future employers might just worry
 
2012-05-05 09:43:53 PM  
I like her lifestyle*, but she sounds like she needs to hang with more "post-college single people" like her, rather than whatever quietly-happy family-raising couples she is bemoaning.


/*apart from the whole writing snooty internet letters part
 
2012-05-05 09:48:06 PM  
I would like to hang out with this woman.

I'm 34, married with 3 kids, and am sick to fark of just about everyone my age on facebook that only post shiat about their kids, church, or a lame picture with 'motivational' Click Share If shiat. It's still okay to drink, fark, say the word fark, and then talk about it on Facebook.

I've actually seen people posting shiat about 'back in my day school was tough.'....No it wasn't.

PS - Cake is not an event unto itself.
 
2012-05-05 09:50:31 PM  
I have never thought of doing that, but I'm going to now. (with a little balsamic)
 
2012-05-05 09:53:30 PM  
this twat is going to be shattered when she finally realizes the world doesn't revolve around her, the bulk of the planet doesn't give a flying fark about her and she should just STFU.

many years down the road, if she evolves, she will find few people under 35 have anything to say that matters a damn. maturity and wisdom come over time unless you're a nitwit. it's great to be young and pretty so just drink your little drink and STFU.

people should have to pay a stiff fee to have a blog, or donate hundreds of hours in community service. would help to cut back on the asshole factor. maybe.
 
2012-05-05 09:55:26 PM  
Won't someone help her find her Adderall?
 
2012-05-05 09:56:29 PM  
Amen, sister!

/53yom
 
2012-05-05 10:01:47 PM  

bionicjoe: I would like to hang out with this woman.

I'm 34, married with 3 kids, and am sick to fark of just about everyone my age on facebook that only post shiat about their kids, church, or a lame picture with 'motivational' Click Share If shiat. It's still okay to drink, fark, say the word fark, and then talk about it on Facebook.

I've actually seen people posting shiat about 'back in my day school was tough.'....No it wasn't.

PS - Cake is not an event unto itself.


That's why I post stories like this on Facebook.
 
2012-05-05 10:03:06 PM  

Degenz:

Someone loan me a paper bag so I fark this ugly twat's brains out.
[anonymousradioshow.files.wordpress.com image 546x480]


A laryngeal prominence makes a woman ugly?
 
2012-05-05 10:04:29 PM  

Umfufu: Makes ya wonder what her degree is in...just kinda curious.


BA American Culture

T-Servo: Some even have kids that are 19. But I really don't see any reason to judge them for settling down and having kids... they probably regret it in comparison to me.


I dunno. I had my first kid at 32, second at 34. I'm now 40. I'm looking at kids in college when I'm 56. It's not unreasonable for people to have kids in college when they're in their mid-60s. They may never meet their grandkids, if they have them.

OTOH, I know people who were done with their kids' college by 45. They're in a far better position to be very close to their adult children and grandchildren than I am. They have most of their financial heavy lifting done while I'm still in the midst of it.

I personally don't regret a thing, but that's because I didn't meet my wife until I was 29 (maybe I wasn't ready, but that doesn't matter). Had I met her 5-6 years earlier, I'd have done all this sooner.
 
2012-05-05 10:04:53 PM  
I'm a Gen-Xer and I'm still busy mourning the loss of MCA.

Having said that, she sounds like a fun lay.
 
2012-05-05 10:09:45 PM  
...then I don't wanna be right.
 
Displayed 50 of 170 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report