If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Ranker)   Yes you would, every one of them, even though the crazy clearly is strong and abundant   (ranker.com) divider line 219
    More: Scary, Trent Walker, vehicular homicide  
•       •       •

29651 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2012 at 5:16 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



219 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-05-04 02:16:39 PM  
Every. Single. One. Of. Them.

And the best part is you can just leave the jail afterwards and not have to snuggle.
 
2012-05-04 02:23:47 PM  
Even #54? "Reason for incarceration: Burglary"

You sure that wasn't 'impersonating a woman'? But yeah, almost every single one of them. So what now? Do we get tickets and wait till our number is called?
 
2012-05-04 02:31:27 PM  
Maeghan Rice

Reason for Incarceration: Second-degree murder

"I got involved with the wrong guy at a young age and I am paying the price, now I want to find the right guy."


Well, according to the news reports, you did find the right guy. You just used the wrong guy to stab the right guy 20 times and leave him in a ditch.

/Yes, I would still have #s 1-3 no question.
 
2012-05-04 02:31:48 PM  
Here honey, I made you something good to eat. Mm, that does taste good.
Why aren't you having any sweetheart? Oh, I'm not really hungry. Eat up.
 
2012-05-04 02:48:48 PM  
"It has been brought to our attention that the photo submitted by Renee may have been of someone else so the photo has been removed. We have verified that the age given is correct." Link

Wait, what?? You mean... some of these women might not be entirely trust worthy? Shocking.
 
2012-05-04 02:51:53 PM  
I say you try to find a broad doing life with no parole.
 
2012-05-04 03:40:37 PM  
Amanda Jenson


Reason for incarceration: Producing child pornography


I bet she's into some kinky shiat. She may sound like fun :D
 
2012-05-04 03:50:53 PM  

cman: Amanda Jenson


Reason for incarceration: Producing child pornography


I bet she's into some kinky shiat. She may sound like fun :D


It's better than OK Cupid!

/but what isn't
 
2012-05-04 03:58:37 PM  
List fails without FARK's Favorite ex-PMILF.

/qualifies for the list
 
2012-05-04 04:00:48 PM  
The best part? A lot of these prison chicks are probably bisexual now...so you can't rule out threesomes!
 
2012-05-04 04:08:06 PM  
Reason for Incarceration: Drugs

"Now that I'm 29 and have spent a decade in trouble or in prison, I now deeply desire comfort, security, and true happiness."


She sounds legit.
 
2012-05-04 04:09:49 PM  
"Please rescue me. Don't allow what I have to offer go to waste, so just imagine me as a smoking hot genie trapped in a bottle, and all it takes is one rub to free me to make all your dreams come true. This bottle is tight and I'm hot in here."

I'm guessing grand larceny.
 
2012-05-04 04:13:06 PM  
 
2012-05-04 04:46:18 PM  
What prison is this, all white women?

The media tells me that 90% of prisoners are black.
 
2012-05-04 04:56:47 PM  
Stacey Solberg
Reason for incarceration: Aggravated Assault

"I am losing my sense of humor. Looking for a fun person with a uplifting personality that can bring my light during dark times."


I'm assuming those 'dark times' are when she's beating you senseless with a tire iron.
 
2012-05-04 05:09:53 PM  
Between this comment:

scottydoesntknow: Well, according to the news reports, you did find the right guy. You just used the wrong guy to stab the right guy 20 times and leave him in a ditch.


And this comment:

flucto: "It has been brought to our attention that the photo submitted by Renee may have been of someone else so the photo has been removed. We have verified that the age given is correct."


I'm a lot less interested than I was upon first clicking the link...
 
2012-05-04 05:10:13 PM  
Well, she DID straight-up kill a dude, but she has FANTASTIC tits...

Oh, what the hell. Who wants to live forever, right? Get me a conjugal. I'll just make sure to empty my pockets, and ditch the belt BEFORE I head in.
 
2012-05-04 05:19:51 PM  
They're all hot, but I call foul on the couple descriptions that stated Parole Violation as the reason for incarceration. How is that helpful? What did she do that put her on parole in the first place?
 
2012-05-04 05:22:10 PM  
#21 "I'm a beach bunny with as much sex appeal as any Baywatch babe."

Translation: old
 
2012-05-04 05:22:35 PM  
Precious Johnson.



I think so.
 
2012-05-04 05:23:42 PM  
SHARP drop-off in quality between page 1 and page 2. I couldn't bring myself to look at page 3.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some letters to write ...
 
2012-05-04 05:25:08 PM  
absolutely killing those myspace angles.
 
2012-05-04 05:25:48 PM  

cman: Amanda Jenson


Reason for incarceration: Producing child pornography


I bet she's into some kinky shiat. She may sound like fun :D


I am hung like a child, so I might have a shot!
 
2012-05-04 05:26:21 PM  
Actually, this isn't a half-bad deal as long as they don't shank you. You go see her for the conjagal visits, but you don't have to deal with the crazy, the nagging, or any other womanly problems for the other 99% of the time. You can even have another woman on the side, even a string of prisoners with conjugal visits set up on different days.
 
2012-05-04 05:26:27 PM  
Reason for incarceration: Manslaughter I

so....she must be very friendly then!
 
2012-05-04 05:26:33 PM  
Too bad the female felons can't cross the Canadian border
 
2012-05-04 05:26:37 PM  
OMG these are precious!

LaQuita Swearengin
"I need someone who can keep me intellectually stimulated and laughing. A man who will offer assistance and support in any way I need."

SWIDGEN!

Ashley Lyons
Reason for Incarceration: Burglary, Assault
"I love to put a smile on another persons face."

almost as much as wiping it back off again, I guess

Stephanie Perkins
Reason for Incarceration: Armed Robbery
"I'm a sweet Southern Georgia peach who is looking to find that someone special or just make a new friend."

"Hands in the air, Sugar!"

Christine Coffman
"Please rescue me. Don't allow what I have to offer go to waste, so just imagine me as a smoking hot genie trapped in a bottle, and all it takes is one rub to free me to make all your dreams come true. This bottle is tight and I'm hot in here."

This one is hilarious all on its own.

Stacey Solberg
Reason for incarceration: Aggravated Assault
"I am losing my sense of humor. Looking for a fun person with a uplifting personality that can bring my light during dark times."

This one is frightening all on its own.
 
2012-05-04 05:27:26 PM  
What the hell, I'm going to write to number 2
 
2012-05-04 05:27:31 PM  
Reason for Incarceration: Murder

"I'm a very journalistic person. I enjoy growing a personal bond through correspondence. I love to be presentable at all times. Impressions are everlasting."

let me guess
the everlasting impressions shes made on previous boyfriends have been made with knives?
 
2012-05-04 05:28:03 PM  
Dated a couple chicks with felonies. Hint, they can never get a good paying job and need someone to support them.

Just say no to the attractive leech.
 
2012-05-04 05:28:38 PM  
All I can say is that I Carrie Noe Precious Johnson.
 
2012-05-04 05:30:41 PM  

gameshowhost: AWWWW YEAH


Damn ... if she gets crunk off Sprite, I may have a chance.

I'd be all classy with some ginger ale and sh*t.

/but not fresca
//biatches gotta EARN fresca
 
2012-05-04 05:31:14 PM  
I was expecting to see more like this, though most of those pics look like they're pre-incarceration anyway.

static.globalgrind.com
 
2012-05-04 05:31:20 PM  

Earguy: What prison is this, all white women?

The media tells me that 90% of prisoners are black.


Someone didn't go past the first page.

I also agree with whoever made the comment about the quality dropping off after page 2. Page 1 is solid, page 2 has some iffy ones, but mostly decent. Page 3 has girls that are what I like to call "Fark headline submitter type hot".
 
2012-05-04 05:31:30 PM  
Reason for incarceration: Grand Theft, Burglary

"I've made some bad decisions that have put me in prison, however, that doesn't make me a bad person...I love the beach and just about anything to do with the outdoors."

YES, IT DOES!!!
 
2012-05-04 05:31:32 PM  

unyon: Stacey Solberg
Reason for incarceration: Aggravated Assault

"I am losing my sense of humor. Looking for a fun person with a uplifting personality that can bring my light during dark times."

I'm assuming those 'dark times' are when she's beating you senseless with a tire iron.


Well she did say she'd heard that joke before, it was your decison to go with it again.
 
2012-05-04 05:31:55 PM  

Genta: Reason for Incarceration: Murder

"I'm a very journalistic person. I enjoy growing a personal bond through correspondence. I love to be presentable at all times. Impressions are everlasting."

let me guess
the everlasting impressions shes made on previous boyfriends have been made with knives?


Branding irons.
 
2012-05-04 05:32:38 PM  
The song "Crazy for You" came to mind and got stuck in my head while perusing the list.
 
2012-05-04 05:35:48 PM  
img1.ranker.com
"I have many interests both appropriate and unmentionable."

Oh hell yes...
 
2012-05-04 05:37:06 PM  
Subby is mistaken. Severely mistaken. Nothing is worth the disaster they would bring.

I recall reading that Timothy McVeigh got a ton of love letters from women and more than one offered to have his child. I have also read that many famous serious killers have also received similar adulation.

Seriously how hard is it to see the disaster such a relationship would bring?
 
2012-05-04 05:39:06 PM  

rickycal78:

I also agree with whoever made the comment about the quality dropping off after page 2. Page 1 is solid, page 2 has some iffy ones, but mostly decent. Page 3 has girls that are what I like to call "Fark headline submitter type hot".


I'm somebody! Well, I'm whoever ... but it's a start!
 
2012-05-04 05:39:08 PM  

Gergesa: Subby is mistaken. Severely mistaken. Nothing is worth the disaster they would bring.

I recall reading that Timothy McVeigh got a ton of love letters from women and more than one offered to have his child. I have also read that many famous serious killers have also received similar adulation.

Seriously how hard is it to see the disaster such a relationship would bring?


Hey, cool. Another smart person in this thread. It's nice to meet you. Get ready for the rush of Farkers ready to call you "gay" because you factor in personality when deciding if someone is hot or not.
 
2012-05-04 05:40:12 PM  

ElBarto79: "I have many interests both appropriate and unmentionable."

Oh hell yes...


I have noticed that women look 10x hotter in dark glasses. shades can turn a rough old bird into a stealth moose so be careful....
 
2012-05-04 05:40:17 PM  
http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/ladies/fallon-11783.html



was worth it
 
2012-05-04 05:40:20 PM  

ZeroCorpse: Gergesa: Subby is mistaken. Severely mistaken. Nothing is worth the disaster they would bring.

I recall reading that Timothy McVeigh got a ton of love letters from women and more than one offered to have his child. I have also read that many famous serious killers have also received similar adulation.

Seriously how hard is it to see the disaster such a relationship would bring?

Hey, cool. Another smart person in this thread. It's nice to meet you. Get ready for the rush of Farkers ready to call you "gay" because you factor in personality when deciding if someone is hot or not.


Non-hetero typing detected.
 
2012-05-04 05:41:03 PM  
Now that I've passed 40, girls like that although nice to look at (and maybe fap to) are just more trouble than they are worth.

/too tired for drama or goin 'clubbin'
 
2012-05-04 05:42:44 PM  

farkingatwork: Reason for incarceration: Manslaughter I

so....she must be very friendly then!


You can't spell "manslaughter" without "laughter."
 
2012-05-04 05:43:02 PM  

Okieboy: Now that I've passed 40, girls like that although nice to look at (and maybe fap to) are just more trouble than they are worth.

/too tired for drama or goin 'clubbin'


Amen brother.
 
2012-05-04 05:43:05 PM  
Morning to them. I hope they're feeling better, baby.
 
2012-05-04 05:44:17 PM  
58. LaQuita Swearengin

Swearengin? Is that like a search engine for curses?
 
Displayed 50 of 219 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report