Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Bizarre spring weather hurts wineries in Iowa. In other news, there are wineries in Iowa   (kgan.com) divider line 29
    More: Interesting, Iowa Supreme Court, total loss, exigent circumstances, Iowa, grapes  
•       •       •

246 clicks; posted to Business » on 04 May 2012 at 2:40 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-05-04 02:43:59 PM  
Corn wine, I guess.
 
2012-05-04 03:00:08 PM  
Read that as wieneries and thought even less of Iowa.

/Iowa sucks
 
2012-05-04 03:02:58 PM  
or elderberry wine. Some years back I stopped at some highway rest stop in Iowa which had a 'winery shop' in the building. Aside from the nominally grape-based monstrosities, they sold elderberry wine, which is supposedly non-poisonous if you cook it longer enough. Mmm, yeah. Worst hangover EVER.

/but I can say I've tried it all
//csb
 
2012-05-04 03:04:47 PM  

CognaciousThunk: or elderberry wine. Some years back I stopped at some highway rest stop in Iowa which had a 'winery shop' in the building. Aside from the nominally grape-based monstrosities, they sold elderberry wine, which is supposedly non-poisonous if you cook it longer enough. Mmm, yeah. Worst hangover EVER.

/but I can say I've tried it all
//csb


If you think elderberry hangover is bad, you should try dandylion. Took me three days to recover.
 
2012-05-04 03:05:06 PM  
"longer enough"... see, I can't even type right since then.

/bad, bad wine
 
2012-05-04 03:05:55 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: CognaciousThunk: or elderberry wine. Some years back I stopped at some highway rest stop in Iowa which had a 'winery shop' in the building. Aside from the nominally grape-based monstrosities, they sold elderberry wine, which is supposedly non-poisonous if you cook it longer enough. Mmm, yeah. Worst hangover EVER.

/but I can say I've tried it all
//csb

If you think elderberry hangover is bad, you should try dandylion. Took me three days to recover.


That's the 2,4-D at work. They didn't say where they got the dandelions, did they?
 
2012-05-04 03:25:20 PM  
*sniffs cork* "Ah, Iowa 2001? Very good vintage"
 
2012-05-04 03:28:41 PM  
We had a hard freeze here in NE Ohio last week that wiped out 70% of the buds on the vines at several local, respected wineries.
 
2012-05-04 03:29:00 PM  
as a teenager a buddy and i tried to make wine out of lawn grass 35 years ago because he was convinced it would work. you want to talk about being sick and afraid to tell your parents.
 
2012-05-04 03:40:27 PM  
Subby is an idiot. There's probably dozens of small wineries in central Illinois, and I'm not surprised at all to find out there's a number of them in Iowa as well.
 
2012-05-04 03:51:49 PM  

CognaciousThunk: Marcus Aurelius: CognaciousThunk: or elderberry wine. Some years back I stopped at some highway rest stop in Iowa which had a 'winery shop' in the building. Aside from the nominally grape-based monstrosities, they sold elderberry wine, which is supposedly non-poisonous if you cook it longer enough. Mmm, yeah. Worst hangover EVER.

/but I can say I've tried it all
//csb

If you think elderberry hangover is bad, you should try dandylion. Took me three days to recover.

That's the 2,4-D at work. They didn't say where they got the dandelions, did they?


My brothers and I had to pick each and every last god damned one of them. It was usually out of the pasture on the back 40 which was pretty much your basic overgrown fallow field.
 
2012-05-04 03:53:09 PM  

blazemongr: Subby is an idiot. There's probably dozens of small wineries in central Illinois, and I'm not surprised at all to find out there's a number of them in Iowa as well.


We have them here in PA as well, but I wouldn't recommend drinking any of it. Gah.
 
2012-05-04 04:05:30 PM  
That must be some flat, boring wine
 
2012-05-04 04:14:56 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: blazemongr: Subby is an idiot. There's probably dozens of small wineries in central Illinois, and I'm not surprised at all to find out there's a number of them in Iowa as well.

We have them here in PA as well, but I wouldn't recommend drinking any of it. Gah.


I felt that way about Michigan wine, too. But honestly if you don't expect more from it than to be just a table wine that's inoffensive you won't be let down. Michigan isn't making world class wines but I defy you to tell me the difference between a cheap bottle of Michigan and California merlot.
 
2012-05-04 04:19:09 PM  

Beluga Heights: Marcus Aurelius: blazemongr: Subby is an idiot. There's probably dozens of small wineries in central Illinois, and I'm not surprised at all to find out there's a number of them in Iowa as well.

We have them here in PA as well, but I wouldn't recommend drinking any of it. Gah.

I felt that way about Michigan wine, too. But honestly if you don't expect more from it than to be just a table wine that's inoffensive you won't be let down. Michigan isn't making world class wines but I defy you to tell me the difference between a cheap bottle of Michigan and California merlot.


You should try Lake Erie Zinfandel then. It'll make your hair stand on end, quickly followed by pancreatic failure.
 
2012-05-04 04:34:40 PM  
Actually, IA makes some pretty decent wine.
 
2012-05-04 04:38:44 PM  

Beluga Heights: Marcus Aurelius: blazemongr: Subby is an idiot. There's probably dozens of small wineries in central Illinois, and I'm not surprised at all to find out there's a number of them in Iowa as well.

We have them here in PA as well, but I wouldn't recommend drinking any of it. Gah.

I felt that way about Michigan wine, too. But honestly if you don't expect more from it than to be just a table wine that's inoffensive you won't be let down. Michigan isn't making world class wines but I defy you to tell me the difference between a cheap bottle of Michigan and California merlot.


Mmm, yeah I'd take that bet. Red wine grapes grown in northern states rarely get ripe enough to match the taste of wines from warmer areas; they tend to come off with a noticeable acidity compared to Cali or French equivalents. White wines will generally fare much better, where there's still a tartness but an acceptable one.

/Nothing wrong with a Traverse Bay white.
//Waiting for the thread to mention Florida 'wineries'... gaack
 
2012-05-04 04:58:41 PM  

CognaciousThunk: Beluga Heights: Marcus Aurelius: blazemongr: Subby is an idiot. There's probably dozens of small wineries in central Illinois, and I'm not surprised at all to find out there's a number of them in Iowa as well.

We have them here in PA as well, but I wouldn't recommend drinking any of it. Gah.

I felt that way about Michigan wine, too. But honestly if you don't expect more from it than to be just a table wine that's inoffensive you won't be let down. Michigan isn't making world class wines but I defy you to tell me the difference between a cheap bottle of Michigan and California merlot.

Mmm, yeah I'd take that bet. Red wine grapes grown in northern states rarely get ripe enough to match the taste of wines from warmer areas; they tend to come off with a noticeable acidity compared to Cali or French equivalents. White wines will generally fare much better, where there's still a tartness but an acceptable one.

/Nothing wrong with a Traverse Bay white.
//Waiting for the thread to mention Florida 'wineries'... gaack


Michigan Gewurtztraminer is steadily improving. At least the last glass I had didn't taste like paint thinner.
 
2012-05-04 05:57:44 PM  

cfletch13: Corn wine, I guess.


Iowa Corn wine

templetonrye.com

cedarridgedistillery.com
 
2012-05-04 06:05:26 PM  
Château Ottumwa.

Just REEKS of class, don't it?
 
2012-05-04 06:24:08 PM  
I recall reading somewhere that there are wineries in 49 states. I half expect Hawaii to be the one without wine, rather than Alaska.
 
2012-05-04 06:30:14 PM  
As someone who lives in Iowa I'm getting a kick...

I live near one of these wineries (like 20 mins away) and the stuff isn't bad.

Of course I'm no sommelier, and anything that tastes like wine is the same for me
 
2012-05-04 07:43:44 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Beluga Heights: Marcus Aurelius: blazemongr: Subby is an idiot. There's probably dozens of small wineries in central Illinois, and I'm not surprised at all to find out there's a number of them in Iowa as well.

We have them here in PA as well, but I wouldn't recommend drinking any of it. Gah.

I felt that way about Michigan wine, too. But honestly if you don't expect more from it than to be just a table wine that's inoffensive you won't be let down. Michigan isn't making world class wines but I defy you to tell me the difference between a cheap bottle of Michigan and California merlot.

You should try Lake Erie Zinfandel then. It'll make your hair stand on end, quickly followed by pancreatic failure.


I had a bottle of wine from Kansas once (given as a gift; I forget the label other than that it was Wizard of Oz themed). The kool-aid red color probably should've been my first clue to dump it in the sink before tasting it.

In fact, I'm pretty sure it was just cherry kool-aid and grape vodka.
 
2012-05-04 07:59:48 PM  
Yes there are subby. Been to a couple. They're OK. Mostly using grape varietals that can stand up to the weather. You'll see a guide saying "if you like merlot, try the..." That kind of thing.

/Mostly they're popular for going out on a Friday night and drinking with friends at a slightly nicer atmosphere than the local bar.
//Wine snob and therefor not pleased with the choices.
///Good corn though!
 
2012-05-04 08:17:18 PM  
Nothing wrong with the quality of Iowa wines... certainly no better or worse than most store-bought California product. But a bit overpriced. There are a good number of suckers in this state who think they should pay a premium for local product.
 
2012-05-05 01:08:45 AM  

clkeagle: Nothing wrong with the quality of Iowa wines... certainly no better or worse than most store-bought California product. But a bit overpriced. There are a good number of suckers in this state who think they should pay a premium for local product.


yup. the local vineyard makes some nasty ass wine. haven't tried any of the ones around cb. the one down in thurman is pretty good, at least what I've had.

i like 'em dry and red, like my women
 
2012-05-05 01:23:29 AM  
There are wineries, and vineyards, in almost every state. This isn't news... unless you're a moron.
 
2012-05-05 04:09:08 AM  
I'm just surprised this is even possible. I thought you have to live near a lake to have a more temperate climate to grow grapes in a Mid-western climate.
 
2012-05-05 10:52:17 PM  
Very nice small wineries and breweries scatter the entire Midwest landscape. I'd imagine the same can be said for just about the entire country, even if they don't have a vineyard right there. Top hit for GIS of "Iowa Wineries"
 
Displayed 29 of 29 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report