gunga galunga: Nana's Vibrator: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x344]

Slow Slow Slow. This one needs a Bay/Bruckheimer reboot.

You know how I know you've never seen UHF?

I set you up, man. Try again.

/This must be how Lebron felt in Cleveland.
//Selling my DVD copy of UHF this weekend with most of my other DVD's

1. All of them.
2. All of the other ones.

Andrew Wiggin: [cdn100.iofferphoto.com image 533x768]

Say what you will about that movie, I enjoyed the ever living hell out of it. I might not have had good taste in movies back then though. I saw it when I was like, 17.

CigaretteSmokingMan: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 509x696]

I also love this movie and not because I love bad movies. It's genuinely enjoyable and the shadow effects are made of awesome.

Tax Boy: [26.media.tumblr.com image 320x460]

Condorman?

skodabunny: Has anybody said Condorman yet?

*Shakes tiny fist at Tax Boy*

\lol

I like The Phantom for a similar reason I love Buckaroo Banzai

It just feels ...genuine to me...

Although ...there are many many many more reasons to like BB

I enjoyed both Daredevil and Elektra. Daredevil was a lot darker than most superhero movies, and Elektra's villains reminded me of Ninja Scroll. They are no Dark Knight, but they're no Catwoman either.

DId the list contain Flashhhhh aahahaha Gordon?

gunga galunga: Nana's Vibrator: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x344]

Slow Slow Slow. This one needs a Bay/Bruckheimer reboot.

You know how I know you've never seen UHF?

Also contains the bestest of the Conan movies.

My guesses (in no particular order) before reading TFA:

Fantastic Four
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
Daredevil
Batman and Robin

So I got two out of five. I wasn't guessing based on my own experience, but based on what I've heard and seen of the general audience (and fanboy) reaction to various superhero movies.

/Never seen Superman IV
//Kinda liked Daredevil
///Batman and Robin truly sucked ass

caddisfly: Daredevil was a lot darker than most superhero movies

When you're blind, everything is a lot darker.

indarwinsshadow: Captain America 1990 trailer on youtube. Good lord, how the hell did this not get the MST2K treatment?

Completely missing the point, but holy fark, the music they're using is from the final chase in the Road Warrior. WHY.

If we don't count Made For TV movies -- so no Nick Fury, no Dr. Strange -- and don't count movies that were never actually released -- so no Fantastic Four (1994) -- then the list would be more like:

10. Green Hornet (2011)
Green Hornet comes in at #10 mostly because of its advertising, which made it seem like it was a straight-up superhero movie with some comedy. But it was a bit more than that, kind of an ironic pisstake on the whole idea of superhero movies. That it was written by Seth Rogan should have been a warning sign that we were going to get something that mocked superheroics, and as a deconstruction the movie actually works pretty well. Still, it was irksome watching it, wishing it would take its hero seriously, and not just use him to ridicule the very concept of superheroes.

9. Hancock
The only movie on this list that doesn't originate from comic books, Hancock fails for its utterly insane and confusing second half. The first half of this movie is actually really fun, with its skewed take on a real superhero alone in the real world, but then theres some bullshiat about Egyptian Gods and the whole thing takes a nosedive into complete bullshiat. What the hell happened there?

8. Spider-Man III
I'm almost loathe to put this on the list, because I kinda like this movie, Or at least I really, really want to like this movie. I certainly don't think its anywhere near as bad as people act like it is, but Raimi farked up when he decided to shoehorn Venom into his Sandman movie. I actually think Venom works in this movie, far better than he does in the comics (where he is one of my least favorite Spidey characters), and I enjoyed the whole "alien symbiote turns Peter into emo douchebag" scene (I think Raimi was spot on with this scene because what we're seeing is the "dark and evil" side of Peter Parker, who is a genuine hero - his dark side isn't really all that dark, it's just kind of a douchy jerk). Still, this should have been a great movie, so what we ended up with was a disappointment.

7. X-Men III
Don't even get me started. Jesus Christ.

6. Superman IV: The Quest For Peace
I was 11 when I saw this and even I knew that Superman using his "Rebuild The Great Wall Of Chinavision" was idiotic.

5. Green Lantern
I liked the human villain in this movie and his whole storyline, but every single other thing about this movie kinda sucked. Ryan Reynolds was meh, but a script that was too busy and too short for the story it was trying to tell, combined with too much CGI and a completely stupid Parallax all added up to a confused mess of a movie.

4. Fantastic Four (2005)
Between Jessica Alba as the Invisible Woman and a completely unrecognizable Doctor Doom, this movie just begs to be punched in the face repeatedly. It could have been so good, but they just farked it up in so many ways. Naomi Watts should have played Sue Storm, she'd have been perfect. The sequel also sucked, but after this one nobody expect Rise of the Silver Surfer to be any good (surprisingly, it almost managed to be great, until it farked up Galactus by making him an evil cloud of space gas).

3. Wolverine: Origins
Hugh Jackman can't carry a movie. Sorry, he just can't. He's too lightweight, and this movie descended into ridiculous camp as a result. Combine that with the Deadpool abomination at the end and you get a movie that promised much and delivered nothing.

2. Catwoman
1. Batman & Robin
You all know why these sucked.

I'm taking three factors into account: budget, potential, execution. A movie like Captain America (1990) gets spared for its low budget - it's really not that bad of a movie for its budget. The make-up effects on the Red Skull were very good, the Captain America costume was pretty alright, and it was all together passable for something that was basically straight-to-video. It was also made during the period where CGi was possible, but still in its infancy, so likely would have only made the movie worse.

A movie like Steel (1997) gets spared because its potential was always limited by its star, Shaq. That movie only got made because Shaq wanted to play Superman, and Steel is as close as he can get. So right out of the gate, it was always going to be shiat, because Shaq can't act to save his life. To really qualify as one of the worst superhero movies, there has to be some sense of betrayal and let-down. And if you actually rented Steel, either you knew it was going to suck before you rented it, or you're an idiot.

That's pretty much also what kept Elektra off this list. Jennifer Garner was the worst thing about Daredevil (which avoided this list by producing a director's cut that proved that the suckiness of the theater release was the fault of the studio and not the filmmakers), and so you went in with lowered expectations. The addition of some cool fights and interesting looking villains (love the tattooed guy) save it from the heap.

/tl:dr

I dunno ...

That Turkish Superman movie that had Spiderman in it - except Spiderman was a chick, and she didn't wear a mask, and she could FLY - was pretty awful.

Publikwerks:

That's the one!

Rwa2play: 2. Captain America (1990, not the recently relased one)

Holy crap I never knew JD Salinger had a kid who was an actor and that actor played captain america and one of the jocks from revenge of the nerds!!!!!

All the Punisher movies have been atrocious. X-Men III was terrible as well.

Tax Boy: [26.media.tumblr.com image 320x460]

Condorman?

skodabunny: Has anybody said Condorman yet?

Whoooaaaaa dude, its like you were reading each others minds.......are yall long lost twins or somethin'?

And condorman farking rocked, so cheesy it was great.

No hate for Ghostrider?

skepticultist: I'm almost loathe to put this on the list, because I kinda like this movie, Or at least I really, really want to like this movie. I certainly don't think its anywhere near as bad as people act like it is, but Raimi farked up when he decided to shoehorn Venom into his Sandman movie. I actually think Venom works in this movie, far better than he does in the comics (where he is one of my least favorite Spidey characters), and I enjoyed the whole "alien symbiote turns Peter into emo douchebag" scene (I think Raimi was spot on with this scene because what we're seeing is the "dark and evil" side of Peter Parker, who is a genuine hero - his dark side isn't really all that dark, it's just kind of a douchy jerk). Still, this should have been a great movie, so what we ended up with was a disappointment.

In Raimi's defense, the studio pushed Venom on him.

indarwinsshadow: Captain America 1990 trailer on youtube. Good lord, how the hell did this not get the MST2K treatment?

I remember anticipating this when it was yet to be released, as Cap was my favorite superhero as a kid. The poster showed nothing but Captain America's shield... an obvious attempt to mimic the previous year's Batman. However, there was a bit of difference between budget and talent involved in those two films, and that became evident soon enough... especially when the film wasn't released. At least not where I live. Never did show up on video. Not that I looked, as by then I'd read enough reviews in comics magazines to know it was a total dud.

For all of its flaws, I don't think Batman and Robin is the worst. Not by a long shot. Both of the Fantastic Four movies, Catwoman, Ghost Rider, Elektra, X-Men 3 and Wolverine...I'd put all of those ahead of Batman and Robin.

caddisfly: I enjoyed both Daredevil and Elektra. Daredevil was a lot darker than most superhero movies, and Elektra's villains reminded me of Ninja Scroll. They are no Dark Knight, but they're no Catwoman either.

Daredevil was watchable, at least. I've heard the director's cut is supposed to be significantly better than the theatrical version, but I haven't seen it yet.

Pyynk: In Raimi's defense, the studio pushed Venom on him.

If Spider-Man 3 had been done the way it should have been - drop Venom, leave Sandman and Harry as the Goblin, and either tease or introduce the black suit to build up to Venom in a fourth movie - we might not be looking at a reboot.

"I am.... THE GUYVER!"

Not the worst, but definitely on my bottom 10 list.

Tax Boy: [www.internationalhero.co.uk image 218x165]


Puma Man, he flies like a moron...

Thank you, that one's also on my personal list (and it inspired one of the better MST3Ks, IMHO.)

FormlessOne: "I am.... THE GUYVER!"

Not the worst, but definitely on my bottom 10 list.

Oh man... so so so classic. I actually had to go ask /b/ to find out the name of that horrible movie because I was sure it was just a stupid dream I had.

skepticultist:

Great list and reasoning, but you should really consider Ghost Rider.

CigaretteSmokingMan: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 509x696]

Wrong, just wrong. The Shadow is a classic for the repartee between John Lone and Alec Baldwin, Baldwin's extreeeeme youthful hotness and Penelope Ann Miller's wardrobe. It's got Jonathan Winters in it for gosh sakes. I love this movie so much. I even gave it as a birthday gift one year to a fellow Baldwin fan.

Rwa2play: Eustacia Vye: CigaretteSmokingMan: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 509x696]

Wrong, just wrong. The Shadow is a classic for the repartee between John Lone and Alec Baldwin, Baldwin's extreeeeme youthful hotness and Penelope Ann Miller's wardrobe. It's got Jonathan Winters in it for gosh sakes. I love this movie so much. I even gave it as a birthday gift one year to a fellow Baldwin fan.

"The Shadow" is actually not that bad. Definitely worth a watch.

Thank you. I saw it when it was first released in theaters and I watch every time it's rerun on tv. I notice that they cut a lot of scenes, for instance the pneumatic message delivery tube scene, so get an uncut version.

skepticultist: If we don't count Made For TV movies -- so no Nick Fury, no Dr. Strange -- and don't count movies that were never actually released -- so no Fantastic Four (1994) -- then the list would be more like:

10. Green Hornet (2011)
Green Hornet comes in at #10 mostly because of its advertising, which made it seem like it was a straight-up superhero movie with some comedy. But it was a bit more than that, kind of an ironic pisstake on the whole idea of superhero movies. That it was written by Seth Rogan should have been a warning sign that we were going to get something that mocked superheroics, and as a deconstruction the movie actually works pretty well. Still, it was irksome watching it, wishing it would take its hero seriously, and not just use him to ridicule the very concept of superheroes.

9. Hancock
The only movie on this list that doesn't originate from comic books, Hancock fails for its utterly insane and confusing second half. The first half of this movie is actually really fun, with its skewed take on a real superhero alone in the real world, but then theres some bullshiat about Egyptian Gods and the whole thing takes a nosedive into complete bullshiat. What the hell happened there?

I liked the green hornet. I don't get the hate. I went to see the main character be a goofy hero while his sidekick does all of the work. I got what I paid for. I wasn't expecting GH to suddenly become batman x superman or some shiat. Maybe it's because I didn't have any comics/show to base it on, so wasn't expecting anything other than what I got, and enjoyed.

And I swear I keep confusing Hancock with I am Legend, which makes for a really, really, confusing time. I agree with your synopsis. The movie started strong but then degenerated quickly into Will Smith's TM disney love bullshiat parade.

This Looks Fun: skepticultist:

Great list and reasoning, but you should really consider Ghost Rider.

shiat. I totally forgot Ghost Rider existed. Also that execrable Punisher with Thomas Jane. Off that was hard to watch. It made the Dolph Lundgren one seem awesome by comparison.

Mystery Men.

The "heroes" were so lame - a guy who just got angry; one who threw cutlery; someone who carried a shovel; a girl with a magic bowling ball and one who farted.

It was so bad it was funny.

Never saw it, but from all that I've heard and read, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen should be on that list.

The Phantom was awesome, so was The Shadow.

Things to remember about both of these: 1) They were made prior to Blade (1998) which caused the SuperheroMoviesAreMoneyMakers explosion; 2) they are based on older properties, and 3) they are period pieces. Unlike the X-men and superman movies and the like, which always bring the heroes into the present day, these movies take place in a specific time period.

No, these guys aren't getting around town in flying cars, or punching people through walls. I saw both of these movies in their original theatrical release, and thoroughly enjoyed them both. Happened to catch The Phantom on HBO a few months back, and it's still an entertaining, well made movie. Yes, it's got Billy Zane riding a horse. It's also got Billy Zane being thoroughly awesome in other ways. Also Treat Williams as a wonderfully hammy villain, Kristy Swanson, and Catherine Zeta Jones.

It's available on Netflix Streaming, so anyone who doesn't realize it's awesome should check it out.

With all these lists, why has no one mentioned this cinematic jewel???

Persnickety: Yeah, I don't think so.

i saw the first picture and wondered if i somehow forgot how the human body and physics work. thank you for the last two pictures or my brain would have exploded.

Publikwerks: [29.media.tumblr.com image 350x350]

Please, please, PLEASE tell me there's somewhere we can watch this. Then we can start a MSTie thread about it!!

enzoweb: Mystery Men.

The "heroes" were so lame - a guy who just got angry; one who threw cutlery; someone who carried a shovel; a girl with a magic bowling ball and one who farted.

It was so bad it was funny.



this is Meta levels of "That's the Joke"...

I am disappoint at so few mentions of Wolverine: Origins. I love Wolverine and that movie was the first film I've almost walked out on since Troy (which was also gawdawful). Wolverine was so bad that me and my friend (who is the biggest Marvel fanboy I know) were laughing at it for literally months afterwards and still use some lines from it as examples of awful writing today.

"Do you know what happens to men who go looking for blood?"
"They find it."

Poison: Vashalgrim: How did Daredevil not make the list?

I think Daredevil was so bad it has been purged from people's memories.

Daredevil's just a stupid superhero. A blind man who has the superpower of sight.

Right.

browneye: Never saw it, but from all that I've heard and read, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen should be on that list.

It has a car chase. In VENICE.

browneye: Never saw it, but from all that I've heard and read, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen should be on that list.

Shut your mouth! That movie is awesome. It's just not the comic book, which is fine, since the comic book is way overrated. The movie would not have been improved by Mr. Hyde ass-raping the Invisible Man to death.

Jorn the Younger: The Phantom was awesome, so was The Shadow.

Things to remember about both of these: 1) They were made prior to Blade (1998) which caused the SuperheroMoviesAreMoneyMakers explosion; 2) they are based on older properties, and 3) they are period pieces. Unlike the X-men and superman movies and the like, which always bring the heroes into the present day, these movies take place in a specific time period.

No, these guys aren't getting around town in flying cars, or punching people through walls. I saw both of these movies in their original theatrical release, and thoroughly enjoyed them both. Happened to catch The Phantom on HBO a few months back, and it's still an entertaining, well made movie. Yes, it's got Billy Zane riding a horse. It's also got Billy Zane being thoroughly awesome in other ways. Also Treat Williams as a wonderfully hammy villain, Kristy Swanson, and Catherine Zeta Jones.

It's available on Netflix Streaming, so anyone who doesn't realize it's awesome should check it out.

Actually, both The Phantom and The Shadow are up on streaming right now.

/according to Netflix, The Phantom is a "feel-good" movie

Nana's Vibrator: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x344]

Slow Slow Slow. This one needs a Bay/Bruckheimer reboot.



Here ya go.

Tin Men

Everytime they used their weapons it bent.

Phoenix Jones
Since his only real superpower is randomly pepper-spraying people

poot_rootbeer: Who'd have thought that all the bad superhero movies would have been from the last 20 years.

30 years. The early 80s were 30 years ago.
Crap.

Senior-like typing detected.