Heavy

Must have been... jumping beans

Better for you than pork.

Food comes from nature, kids. You never get homogenous product.

By the way, raw grasshoppers taste of peanut butter.

Eh, people eat grasshoppers all the time. I would not like to see one in my beans (or on my beans!), but it's a natural, edible thing. Better than finding rat feces, or a human nose.

I fail to see the big deal. This things are excelent.

Well that last post takes on a whole lot less funny without this...



//and grammar mistakes too...oh my.

scratchy feet

I probably worked for the company that made that can and let me tell you the volume of beans that are done even in an hour is so much that it's suprising you get as few complaints that you do. She had to attention whore it and go on the newspaper route instead of calling the company and they send her coupons for 5 free cans.

Here's a list of stuff I've pulled off the belt that does green beans:

TONS of grasshoppers
a few snakes
a lot of mice
part of a deer

The absolute best was in the destoner for the potato line we pulled a dildo out of it. This was the first thing they go threw so it wasn't a health concern since the potatoes are then blanced 2 times then cooked so it was a fun novelty thing for the week to talk about.

I was reading the complaint log one day and there was a complaint that someone opened a can of beans and a fly few out of it, I mean really who's dumb enough to think a fly can live in a vaccum sealed can that was heated to 200+ degrees for 35 min. Then sit on a shelf for a few months.

Happy Hours: Cagey B: The processing plant uses a red laser to scan beans for foreign objects, but sometimes they slip through, she was told.

My admiration goes to the staffer who was able to tell this woman about the high-tech bean laser while keeping his composure.

Really? I'm sure it's more than just a laser. Would you believe that meat processing plants use cameras that take pictures of cow livers? They don't just put them in a photo album either.

Not really a laser as is a camera that looks for anything that isn't green. What they do is they shake the beans onto a 3 foot wide belt that moves really fast and throws the beans over a gap and when the camera doesn't see green it fires a puff of air to knock the debris down so it doesn't clear the gap. You can adjust sensativity and everything it's a cool piece of equipment if the operator keeps it clean enough to do it's job effectively.

You're heart felt good.

Just an FYI

The waterman.

it would ne nive if would just get allong

Slesfo: I'll tell you what's worse than that.

Being raped. During the Holocaust.

By Hitler's frozen brain.

Wearing a strap-on.

The sound of one hand clapping:

I'm now trying to think of the strange chain of events that led to the dildo getting mixed in with the potatoes in the first place. Unless some disgruntled employee or prankster threw it in, that means it had to have got swept up with the potatoes out in the field.

So my question is, who was out in a field with a dildo and what were they doing with it?

We guessed it was the truck drivers and he threw it in the back but why would he do that? It wasn't someone from the factory that's for sure.

I had it happen to me when I was a teenager. I had come home for lunch from school and Ma had opened and heated a can of spinach to go with the meal. I'm sitting there eating my spinach and there's something crunchy, twiggy, stick-like in my mouth and I pull it out. Obviously, it was in the spinach as this twig-thing was exactly the same dull brown-green of the canned spinach. I really thought it was a twig or a stick or soemthing else agricultural, but I was looking at it closely and it was not a twig or a stick, it was a long twig-like bug, entirely whole (thank goodness). Well anyway, we called Waldbaums Supermarket as we got the spinach there and they were very "oh my, oh dear', especially after they learned it wasn't Del-Monte or Green Giant but their own store-brand label on the can.They offered to do something for me though they didn't know what. I wasn't injured, I pulled the twig-bug out of my mouth before I bit it or ate it, so no harm no foul. A few weeks later we get an apologetic letter and a package from Waldbaums attorneys--they had done some inquiries and found out that the canned spinach is indeed very fresh--canned in the fields moments after harvest. Apparently, Mr Twig-Bug had fallen into the can sometime after the fresh, field-steamed spinach had been piped/glopped into the can, but before the can had been sealed. And so, that sealed his fate. He went from farm to store to pot to fork to my mouth. The large box that had been shipped with the letter from the lawyers was a case of Waldbaums canned spinach. Pop and and I took it over to the local church so they could have it for their food bank.

I always keep a glass of water by my bed because I'm a generally thirsty guy. Last night, as I went to bed, I din't bother to turn the lights on, and just dropped into bed, and reached for my glass to take a drink. Thank god the TV's screen saver was still on and emitting a faint glow, and that the cup was somewhat translucent, because it was enough to let me notice something dark and round floating in the cup before I drank. My first, extremely disgusted, thought was that for some inexplicable reason, my cat, who was right next to me had taken a shiat in my water glass sometime during the day. So I got out of bed and dumped the contents of the glass in the toilet.

That's when I saw what it really was: Somehow, a fairly large, very much alive mouse had managed to find its way into my water glass and apparently had become trapped there. A few minute of vigourous flushing later, I'm pretty sure the mouse became an ex-mouse, but the heebie-jeebies on may part haven't really gone away yet.

hillary: [www.wired.com image 557x433]

Proof of a theory I developed living in an ethnic chinese enclave in Chicago: If they don't bother to translate the item on the menu from Chinese to English then it ain't for you Gwai-lo, and it's really best not to ask about it.