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(Monterey Herald)   When robbing a Chinese restaurant using your finger as a gun, take the cash out of the 50-pound register before running off with it. "He made it maybe a hundred yards"   (montereyherald.com ) divider line
    More: Fail, Chinese restaurant, Keystone Kops, cmdr, Chinese  
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2972 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2012 at 10:01 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



19 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-05-03 08:59:35 PM  
why would you rob a chinese restaurant?

you know you're just going to want to rob again in like 30 minutes
 
2012-05-03 10:07:31 PM  
That's a touchdown at least.
 
2012-05-03 10:08:05 PM  
I don't know, but I've been told, it's hard to run with the weight of gold.
 
2012-05-03 10:11:51 PM  
Really? Why rob a restaurant
 
2012-05-03 10:17:50 PM  

SoCalSurfer: Really? Why rob a restaurant


maybe just for the chi mei fun?
 
2012-05-03 10:23:32 PM  

SoCalSurfer: Really? Why rob a restaurant


Pumpkin: Why not? Nobody ever robs restaurants. Bars, liquor stores, gas stations... you get your head blown off sticking up one of them. Restaurants on the other hand, you catch with their pants down. They're not expecting to get robbed. Not as expectant anyway.

Yolanda: I bet you could cut down on the hero factor in a place like this.

Pumpkin: Right, just like banks, these places are insured. Manager? He don't give a fark. He just wants to get you out the door before you start plugging the diners. Waitresses? farking forget it! No way they're taking a bullet for the register. Busboys? Some wetback getting paid a dollar-fifty an hour, really give a fark you're stealing from the owner? See, I got the idea, last liquor store we held up, all the customers kept coming in?
 
2012-05-03 10:25:26 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: why would you rob a chinese restaurant?

you know you're just going to want to rob again in like 30 minutes


For the 'Ka-chink'?

/i am ashamed
 
2012-05-03 10:27:59 PM  
Oh man. He'd better hope the owner of that restaurant isn't connected.

Stealing is bad m'kay?

And not just because Jebus.
 
2012-05-03 10:28:47 PM  
Me Chinese. Me play joke.
 
2012-05-03 10:31:41 PM  
He used his finger as a fake gun? What, there weren't any Butterfinger bars lying around?
 
2012-05-03 10:39:34 PM  
"You said your finger was a gun!"
 
2012-05-03 10:42:15 PM  
Police chased Bennett through the carport, "almost like a Keystone Kops thing ... coontil) he just kind of gave up," Nolan said.

This not a compliment to the police.
 
2012-05-03 10:48:08 PM  
[yaketysax.mp3]
 
2012-05-03 11:53:54 PM  

SoCalSurfer: Really? Why rob a restaurant


On busy nights the ones i've worked at would have a couple grand in the register.
 
2012-05-04 01:22:51 AM  
You here four hour! Why you here four hour? You rob register and go now!
 
2012-05-04 01:50:49 AM  
Did he get away again while the cops were trying to recover from their hysterical laughter?
 
2012-05-04 03:07:43 AM  
2pm on a Wednesday...

Wouldn't be much in the register except $10's and below. You know, the stuff you get when you break a $20. The lunch hour takes should have been in the drop box by then.

I couldn't make it as a robber. I can't think of any easy targets that would net more than I make right now. It's that plastic. So much business is in plastic that the till could be empty in most places.
 
2012-05-04 10:38:15 AM  
CSB:

Some dude broke into a friend's house and stole a five-gallon water jug full of pennies. They caught him dragging it down the alley.

He's dead now (unrelated incident).
 
2012-05-04 12:55:45 PM  
Subby, why run off with the register AFTER you took the money out?
 
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