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(io9)   "Christian horror" flick features a demon-possessed box of porn. This could be the best comedy of the summer   (io9.com) divider line 60
    More: Strange, christians, survival horror, horror movies, comedy, porn, found footage, poltergeists  
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3442 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 May 2012 at 8:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-03 08:02:41 PM
Oh. My. God.

It's like Refer Madness for our generation.
 
2012-05-03 08:03:04 PM
Does it make me less of a man if that part with the girl in the cemetery still scared me a little?
 
2012-05-03 08:15:38 PM
There is a chance this could actually be pretty funny, but it looks like it will be more boring than anything. Also, do they live in an igloo?
 
2012-05-03 08:16:03 PM

Nickster79: Does it make me less of a man if that part with the girl in the cemetery still scared me a little?


Nah. Screamer videos make use of the startle response. It makes you a vertebrate. Any organism with a brainstem will respond to that type of stimulus.
 
2012-05-03 08:16:47 PM

SnakeLee: Also, do they live in an igloo?



That's not snow.
 
2012-05-03 08:17:17 PM
I think a screening of this plus a Fark Party afterward would be a great summer event.
 
2012-05-03 08:18:59 PM
Someone should make a movie where a box of bibles terrorizes some family.

Anyway, who keeps porn in a box anymore?
 
2012-05-03 08:21:09 PM

fusillade762: Someone should make a movie where a box of bibles terrorizes some family.

Anyway, who keeps porn in a box anymore?


Especially since most real men put their dicks in a box.
 
2012-05-03 08:21:18 PM
All I can gather from this is that it's some kind of an Eskimo/necrophilia flick. I can't fap to that.

/or CAN I?
 
2012-05-03 08:23:36 PM
This is satire, right?

/right?
 
2012-05-03 08:23:59 PM
Silly Christians.

Everyone knows if you're going to do a Christian horror film, zombies are the only logical choice.
 
Byn
2012-05-03 08:28:20 PM
Does Kirk Cameron play the part of Box of Porn?
 
2012-05-03 08:28:47 PM
Porn-dora's box opened, evils get out. That story's already been done.

What?

Oh, sorry
 
2012-05-03 08:30:13 PM

Bonanza Jellybean: This is satire, right?

/right?


Poe's Law.
 
2012-05-03 08:32:57 PM
Box 'o Porn would make a great movie title for some up and cuming young porn starlet
 
2012-05-03 08:33:20 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: I think a screening of this plus a Fark Party afterward would be a great summer event.


I love that idea
 
2012-05-03 08:33:23 PM

Bonanza Jellybean: This is satire, right?

/right?


It's real. There's even a Kickstarter for the movie
 
Skr
2012-05-03 08:35:40 PM
They need to pull an Evil Dead angle and have some nubile young lady rape raped by a burning bush.
 
2012-05-03 08:35:52 PM

nekom: All I can gather from this is that it's some kind of an Eskimo/necrophilia flick. I can't fap to that.

/or CAN I?


Challenge accepted.
 
2012-05-03 08:39:10 PM
Jesus Christ...
 
2012-05-03 08:42:21 PM

cato113: Bonanza Jellybean: This is satire, right?

/right?

It's real. There's even a Kickstarter for the movie


I think Bonanza might be right.

In the trailer, the kid Tebows at 0:17 after his teammate shoots a basket

i105.photobucket.com

and one of the headstones in the cemetery is in the shape of two large butts, side by side, emblazoned with the name "Fickas" (sounds like "thick ass").
i105.photobucket.com

I'm starting to think this is an elaborate joke.
 
2012-05-03 08:42:30 PM
CSB time:

When I was 17 one of the local video rental places that was also the sole renter of fine pornographic movies was going out of business and selling all of their tapes. Of course this being a town of 9,000 people and 23 churches, one of the congregations took it upon themselves to buy the entire stock of porn, about $8000 worth if memory serves.

They invited the media to the home of one of the churchgoers that had a large outdoor furnace on their property and spent the afternoon doing interviews while burning all the tapes. What still bothers me to this day is not one reporter asked them if the thousands of dollars could have been better spent helping the less fortunate or what have you instead.
 
2012-05-03 08:42:31 PM

Byn: Does Kirk Cameron play the part of Box of Porn?


Hell, didn't Kirk Cameron already make this whole movie?
 
2012-05-03 08:44:37 PM
The chritian entertainment industry is right on the cutting edge once again.
Box of porn? I keep it next to my newspaper and my walkman.
 
2012-05-03 08:47:52 PM
Between the Geek and Entertainment threads, I think we might be reaching Gawker link critical mass.
 
2012-05-03 08:53:36 PM

FloydA: SnakeLee: Also, do they live in an igloo?


That's not snow.


I larfed.
 
2012-05-03 09:04:37 PM

Rain-Monkey: Oh. My. God.

It's like Refer Madness for our generation.


Nuh-uh. It's all arty and symbolical and stuff. And Indie. Really, really Indie. Like Sondance.
 
2012-05-03 09:04:56 PM
Is it wrong of me to say that I would fark the actress that plays the "wife"?
 
2012-05-03 09:06:04 PM
28.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-05-03 09:08:24 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: Byn: Does Kirk Cameron play the part of Box of Porn?

Hell, didn't Kirk Cameron already make this whole movie?


You mean this video?
 
2012-05-03 09:10:30 PM
home.comcast.net
"In a world where self-pleasure is a sin.... One Man will pull himself against those that deny the art of the forbidden one hand dance...

One Man - One Way - this summer Shia Labeouf will receive the ultimate command that:

'Thou Shall Not Fap'."


This film is not yet rated.
 
2012-05-03 09:11:46 PM

Bonanza Jellybean: This is satire, right?

/right?


Probably. And a piss-poor one at that. Give me God Bless America or Iron Sky any day.


In the meantime,I'll continue what I was doing a few moments ago:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
2012-05-03 09:13:24 PM

SithLord: Is it wrong of me to say that I would fark the actress that plays the "wife"?


Not at all. It's perhaps the only redeemable aspect of it.
 
2012-05-03 09:15:06 PM

FloydA: SnakeLee: Also, do they live in an igloo?


That's not snow.


media.tumblr.com

The ghost got to him too!
 
2012-05-03 09:15:26 PM

skinbubble: Fluorescent Testicle: Byn: Does Kirk Cameron play the part of Box of Porn?

Hell, didn't Kirk Cameron already make this whole movie?

You mean this video?


A. Why is he beating up his monitor and not the CPU, and who has a CRT monitor anymore?
B. Why does he want to destroy his computer, instead of getting Ad Aware or Malwarebytes to get rid of the spyware causing the porn popups?
 
2012-05-03 09:23:34 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-05-03 09:30:58 PM
BorgiaGinz
skinbubble: Fluorescent Testicle: Byn: Does Kirk Cameron play the part of Box of Porn?

Hell, didn't Kirk Cameron already make this whole movie?

You mean this video?

A. Why is he beating up his monitor and not the CPU, and who has a CRT monitor anymore?
B. Why does he want to destroy his computer, instead of getting Ad Aware or Malwarebytes to get rid of the spyware causing the porn popups?


He was probably using dial-up and couldn't get it to refresh fast enough
 
2012-05-03 09:35:33 PM
When I was a kid my dad had the epic 'box-o-porn' full of bad 70's era Cheri and Hustler. When they finally moved out of that house my old man was carrying the box out to the van when he dropped it and his stash went all over the driveway... right as the preacher who lived next door was driving up with his family. Luckily the preacher had a sense of humor.
 
2012-05-03 09:35:44 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT!
 
2012-05-03 09:46:00 PM
This really needs to be a double feature with One-Eyed Monster (wikipedia link, should be SFW).

It's a horror movie with Ron Jeremy, and you can guess what gets possessed ...
 
2012-05-03 10:10:32 PM

fusillade762: Someone should make a movie where a box of bibles terrorizes some family.


Coming this summer. THE GIDEON.

Anyway, who keeps porn in a box anymore?
Child pornographers?
 
2012-05-03 10:19:52 PM
EVIL IS UNLEASHED

*fat woman standing outside an igloo, staring menacingly at the viewer*


What is this, I don't even...
 
2012-05-03 10:21:18 PM

Dragonblink: This really needs to be a double feature with One-Eyed Monster (wikipedia link, should be SFW).

It's a horror movie with Ron Jeremy, and you can guess what gets possessed ...


Quadruple feature with Wadzilla and Killer Condom
 
2012-05-03 10:49:24 PM
Yes, people shouldn't fap to pornography.

Instead, they should use their imagination to come up with all that depravity on their own.

That's better, right?
 
2012-05-03 10:57:44 PM

Zombalupagus: Yes, people shouldn't fap to pornography.

Instead, they should use their imagination to come up with all that depravity on their own.

That's better, right?


They should only fap to Jesus... oh wait... nevermind
 
2012-05-03 11:11:55 PM
APPROVES (NSFW)
 
2012-05-03 11:17:20 PM

Lumbar Puncture: Dragonblink: This really needs to be a double feature with One-Eyed Monster (wikipedia link, should be SFW).

It's a horror movie with Ron Jeremy, and you can guess what gets possessed ...

Quadruple feature with Wadzilla and Killer Condom


i759.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-03 11:37:40 PM
I want to illegally download this and have a viewing party with my pagan and LGBT friends.

And I have friends in both those groups in spades.
 
2012-05-03 11:40:22 PM
Well don't let Kirk Cameron see it or he will destroy your monitor

Link
 
2012-05-04 01:07:09 AM
Take this box of porn, but beware it carries a terrible curse!

Ooh, that's bad.

But it comes with a free frogurt!
 
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