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(Some Monkeybusiness)   Chinese zookeeper licks a constipated monkey's butt for an hour to help him pass a peanut   (arbroath.blogspot.com) divider line 129
    More: Weird, peanut, zookeepers, Chinese, computer user satisfaction, Zhang Bangsheng, Guizhou Province  
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9235 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2012 at 8:44 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-03 03:26:05 PM
www4.images.coolspotters.com
 
2012-05-03 03:27:37 PM
There are days where 18 hours of that would still be better than my jerb.
 
2012-05-03 03:30:09 PM
What, is satire tag not good enough for this?
 
2012-05-03 03:35:32 PM
I worked at a zoo and we called this "piddling". Mind you, we used a warm, wet towel and not our tongues.
 
2012-05-03 04:12:26 PM

RexTalionis: is satire tag not good enough for this


Sadly (or perhaps hilariously), not satire
 
2012-05-03 04:15:30 PM
"Mr Owl. How many licks does it take to catch a zoonatic disease from a monkey's rectum?"

"A-let's find out. *lick* A-one, *lick* A-two, *drops dead from ebola*"

"Mr. Owl?"

"...."
 
2012-05-03 04:54:59 PM
i586.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-03 08:18:00 PM

bigpeeler: I worked at a zoo and we called this "piddling". Mind you, we used a warm, wet towel and not our tongues.


Looks like it's gonna be called "Chinese Zookeeper" from now on.
 
2012-05-03 08:47:59 PM
Large numbers of Furries seen booking trips to Chinese zoos.
 
2012-05-03 08:49:51 PM
Anyone else in this thread who assumed the headline was 100% fark hyperbole?

Just me then?
 
2012-05-03 08:49:52 PM
If he gets more money than I get for kissing my boss' ass every day I won't be happy.
 
2012-05-03 08:50:13 PM
Pacific Rimjob.

/come on guys, it was right there
 
2012-05-03 08:50:49 PM
I was all for it up until the part about killing puppies. But now that i own two actual dogs who shiat on my bed in the middle of the night to show how much they love me I'm not so sure.
 
Skr
2012-05-03 08:51:24 PM
No real reason he need to use his tongue, must have some sort of matron complex.

Had to use warm water rubbing on baby squirrels to get 'em to potty. Never found out why they can't do it by themselves without the extra coaxing.
 
2012-05-03 08:53:44 PM
I've heard those chi-coms can toss a mean peanut salad...
 
2012-05-03 08:55:36 PM
親愛的閣樓
 
2012-05-03 08:55:36 PM
i.qkme.me
 
2012-05-03 08:55:39 PM

Mugato: Pacific Rimjob.

/come on guys, it was right there


Sorry man, I was too busy puking.
 
2012-05-03 08:55:49 PM
Why was the zookeeper having so much trouble passing a peanut? And goddamn if those Chinese don't have a whacky cure for everything.
 
2012-05-03 08:56:59 PM
Only after the peanut was defecated did 50-year-old Zhang Bangsheng laugh with satisfaction.

I say that to all my prey.
 
2012-05-03 08:57:12 PM
I'm calling shenanigans on this one.
 
2012-05-03 08:57:14 PM
this doesnt suprise me at all , i worked for a chinese owned company where the wife of the owner would walkout side the office and drop a duece, outside, in front of god and everybody, to fertilize her flowers. and i thought the germans were wierd......
 
2012-05-03 08:57:15 PM
.... and it was delicious!
 
2012-05-03 08:58:55 PM

Skr:
Had to use warm water rubbing on baby squirrels to get 'em to potty. Never found out why they can't do it by themselves without the extra coaxing.


So they don't foul the nest and make it easier for predators to sniff them out, or encourage parasites. A lot of baby animals won't go without mum's coaxing for the first few weeks, so she can be right there to clean up.
 
2012-05-03 08:59:00 PM

cowgirl toffee: .... and it was delicious!


Remarkable, even.
 
2012-05-03 08:59:19 PM

Mini Ditka: Why was the zookeeper having so much trouble passing a peanut? And goddamn if those Chinese don't have a whacky cure for everything.


The real trick is finding a constipated monkey. I suggest doing that before you even attempt to eat the peanut
 
2012-05-03 08:59:44 PM
Whar CheekyMonkey ??? Whar???
 
2012-05-03 09:00:02 PM
i137.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-03 09:00:21 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

/relevant to his interests
 
2012-05-03 09:00:38 PM

radarlove: [i.qkme.me image 427x393]


Hmmm.... that is a better pic anyway.
 
2012-05-03 09:00:38 PM

bigpeeler: I worked at a zoo and we called this "piddling". Mind you, we used a warm, wet towel and not our tongues.


That's what my pastor called it too, but he didn't use towels and I wasn't supposed to talk about it.
 
2012-05-03 09:01:29 PM
Ok. Headline made me regurge a bit. Jesus.
 
2012-05-03 09:03:07 PM
I'm not sure if he needs a raise, a therapist, a TV show, or a jail cell.
 
2012-05-03 09:03:58 PM

Mantour: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 399x266]

/relevant to his interests


Ha! The Background Ape couldn't give less of a sh*t.
 
2012-05-03 09:04:07 PM
So a guy bring his pet monkey to a bar, while talking to the bar tender he puts his monkey down on the pool table. Only to the monkey swallow a pool ball. The bar tender flips out, "I only have the one set", so the man calms him down and explains the monkey will pass it in a couple day and he'll wash it and bring it back. A couple days later the man returns to the bar with his monkey and the pool ball in hand. As he sets down at the bar, he notices a bowl of peanuts and asks if his monkey can have some. The bartender says of course and pushes the bowl of peanuts over the the monkey. The monkey picks up a peanut, shoves it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it. After watching the monkey do that three or four times the bartenders ask "why does he keep putting it up his butt?" "Oh that" the man says "Since passing the pool ball he checks to makes sure it fits first."
 
2012-05-03 09:04:25 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: I'm not sure if he needs a raise, a therapist, a TV show, or a jail cell.


If he lived in the US, he'd get all four, and in that order.
 
2012-05-03 09:04:25 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: I'm not sure if he needs a raise, a therapist, a TV show, or a jail cell.


I don't know either... but I do know the monkey deserves a phone call in the morning.
 
2012-05-03 09:05:25 PM
img151.imageshack.us

/oblig
 
2012-05-03 09:05:44 PM
This is how you get ebola, people.
 
2012-05-03 09:06:21 PM
Most people would be happy with a half hour.
 
2012-05-03 09:07:09 PM

Mantour: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 399x266]

/relevant to his interests



i.imgur.com
 
2012-05-03 09:07:22 PM

socoloco: Most people would be happy with a half hour.


He must have licked that monkey raw.
 
2012-05-03 09:07:48 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: I'm not sure if he needs a raise, a therapist, a TV show, or a jail cell.



HOLD ON

blog.eogn.com


...OKAY, CONTINUE
 
2012-05-03 09:07:57 PM
And that, children, is where satay sauce comes from.
 
2012-05-03 09:08:39 PM

Mini Ditka: Mantour: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 399x266]

/relevant to his interests


Gah
 
2012-05-03 09:09:40 PM
And that's the story of AIDS.
 
2012-05-03 09:09:58 PM
Me Chinee, me play joke...
 
2012-05-03 09:10:36 PM
Hopefully he at least put some sweet and sour sauce on it first.
 
2012-05-03 09:11:36 PM

Mini Ditka: Mantour: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 399x266]

/relevant to his interests


[i.imgur.com image 640x440]


Me Gusta?
 
2012-05-03 09:11:42 PM
Maybe later me and the missus will go play a little of the old "Oh no, I'm a tiny monkey and I need help getting this peanut out of my rectum, Mrs. Zookeeper", if you know what I mean.

And I think you do.
 
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