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(Some Guy)   "Normally, jumping spiders are kind of cute, but this one has more the air of the insect murderer that he actually is." You'll know the picture when you see it   (somethingscrawlinginmyhair.com) divider line 64
    More: Scary, arthropods, grasshoppers, fleas  
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7593 clicks; posted to Geek » on 03 May 2012 at 1:15 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-03 09:31:00 AM
i522.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-03 09:32:17 AM
Sybarite is evil.
 
2012-05-03 09:41:04 AM

AbbeySomeone: Sybarite is evil.

 
2012-05-03 09:42:30 AM
Not the worst spider picture I've seen.

No, that isn't a challenge.
 
2012-05-03 09:48:24 AM

SnarfVader: Not the worst spider picture I've seen.

No, that isn't a challenge.


shut up.
 
2012-05-03 10:00:41 AM

AbbeySomeone: SnarfVader: Not the worst spider picture I've seen.


i1122.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-03 10:01:26 AM

Sybarite: [i522.photobucket.com image 544x556]


I like how it has human-like eyes.
 
2012-05-03 10:02:36 AM
I want to see him face off against a cave cricket.
i190.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-03 10:04:16 AM
"Normally, jumping spiders are kind of cute,"

You need to work on your definition of normally.
 
2012-05-03 10:15:02 AM
Cute critter. Spiders are our friends - they eat the insects that annoy us.
 
2012-05-03 10:42:14 AM
i369.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-03 10:47:01 AM

Shakespeare's Monkey: "Normally, jumping spiders are kind of cute,"

You need to work on your definition of normally.


Jumping spiders are adorable. Their fangs can't break human skin, and they can catch insects that are 2 or 3 times their size. They're like a great little sidekick.
 
2012-05-03 10:57:53 AM

junkmetal: [i369.photobucket.com image 238x236]


Thank you. That is the best Cinco de Mayo greeting ever and I am stealing it.
 
2012-05-03 11:30:05 AM
somethingscrawlinginmyhair.com

"YOU GONNA GET WEBBED."
 
2012-05-03 11:43:22 AM
DO NOT WANT!
 
2012-05-03 12:27:56 PM

Lucky LaRue: Sybarite: [i522.photobucket.com image 544x556]

I like how it has human-like eyes.


I'm pretty sure that's an effect of the light source (or Photoshop), but yeah, that does add a lot to the fear factor.
 
2012-05-03 12:39:07 PM
Spider thread! Hey does someone know the time?
 
2012-05-03 12:45:04 PM
i182.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-03 01:18:14 PM
farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2012-05-03 01:21:44 PM

Sybarite: [i522.photobucket.com image 544x556]


Isn't that the thing from Chamber of Secrets?
 
2012-05-03 01:23:46 PM
www.humintell.com
 
2012-05-03 01:27:17 PM
Sweet dreams, everybody...
 
2012-05-03 01:28:18 PM
i48.tinypic.com

He's harmless. Really.
 
2012-05-03 01:30:54 PM
I saw one of these guys yesterday on my sage, stalking another larger jumping spider, and it wasn't a female as far as I can determine (when I say larger, the bigger spider was over 1/4" long, while this guy was less than 1/4")

upload.wikimedia.org

Red backed jumping spider
 
2012-05-03 01:33:37 PM
************EMERGENCY SPIDER SYSTEM (ESS) ACTIVATED************

A SEVERE HORRIFYING SPIDER WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR FARK THREAD# 7085007 AT 1:34 PM EDT ON THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012.

THIS WARNING CONFIRMS THE SIGHTING OF ARACHNIDS THAT WILL BE SURE TO EITHER KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP OR INVADE YOUR DREAMS AND CAUSE VOMITING, HEART ATTACKS, STROKE, AND/OR SOILED PANTS.

REMAIN CALM. SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY AND/OR FIND WEAPONS THAT CAN TERMINATE HORRIFYING SPIDERS. APPROVED WEAPONS INCLUDE FLAMETHROWERS, NAPALM, COLLEGE ORGANIC CHEMISTRY TEXTBOOKS, OR NUCLEAR MISSILES. FIND THE NEAREST WEAPON, AND REPEATEDLY SMASH THE SPIDER UNTIL IT IS COMPLETELY FLATTENED AND HAS STOPPED MOVING/TWITCHING. IF YOU CANNOT PERFORM THIS TASK, FIND THE NEAREST NON-PUSSY TO DO IT FOR YOU.

ONCE THE SPIDER IS DESTROYED, USE NUCLEAR MISSILES AND/OR GASOLINE WITH A MATCH TO BURN THE BODY, TO MAKE SURE THE SPIDER IS DOWN FOR GOOD. REMOVE THE ASHES WITH A VACUUM CLEANER, AND MAKE SURE YOU CAUTERIZE THE VACUUM CLEANER JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

THIS CONCLUDES THE ESS EMERGENCY BROADCAST

******END TRANSMISSION*********
 
2012-05-03 01:37:52 PM
we get it he's black
 
2012-05-03 01:40:10 PM
-FTFA: "He was a big, black, furry, sinister-looking specimen, over a centimeter long."
 
2012-05-03 01:43:48 PM
i182.photobucket.com


Diabeetus
 
2012-05-03 01:55:40 PM
OK, I'm getting the hell out of here.
 
2012-05-03 01:56:42 PM
My goodness! A whole centimeter long! That's bigger than my dog!
 
2012-05-03 02:01:14 PM

Raoul Eaton: My goodness! A whole centimeter long! That's bigger than my dong!


?
 
2012-05-03 02:12:08 PM

Jubeebee: Jumping spiders are adorable. Their fangs can't break human skin, and they can catch insects that are 2 or 3 times their size. They're like a great little sidekick.


this.

tarantulas aren't bad, either.
 
2012-05-03 02:26:35 PM

utah dude: Jubeebee: Jumping spiders are adorable. Their fangs can't break human skin, and they can catch insects that are 2 or 3 times their size. They're like a great little sidekick.

this.

tarantulas aren't bad, either.


Go play with a baboon spider variety and get back to us on that...
 
2012-05-03 02:31:06 PM

Raoul Eaton: My goodness! A whole centimeter long! That's bigger than my dog dong!

 
2012-05-03 02:46:26 PM
 
2012-05-03 03:01:01 PM
Spiders: great outside. Jumping spiders are ok inside. Web spiders: creep me the F out. Mostly because I walked into a few buildings for my job that were literally filled corner to corner with webs. Big, buildings, the size of small houses from corner to corner, floor to roof. Had to take a broom and beat a path.

GIS fails me for 'room full of spiderwebs' for any comparison.
 
2012-05-03 03:05:53 PM
images-3.redbubble.net

I just want to be wuved...
 
2012-05-03 03:11:29 PM
Ugh... all these scary pictures... here is some eye/mind bleach...

edge.ebaumsworld.com
 
2012-05-03 03:24:00 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i48.tinypic.com image 544x556]

He's harmless. Really.


DAMMIT, STOP THAT.



/curls into a fetal position
//stomps spider before doing so
 
2012-05-03 03:41:46 PM
Kill it! Kill it with fire!
 
2012-05-03 03:59:35 PM
We get a bunch of those big black ones in the wind turbines I work on. I'm completely fine with them though, because they keep the wasps from nesting inside. I'll take a spider over a wasp any day of the week.
 
2012-05-03 04:29:05 PM

lousyskater: I'll take a spider over a wasp any day of the week.


i45.tinypic.com

wasps can be annoying, but I'd rather put up with them instead of a spider.
 
2012-05-03 04:43:26 PM
Gotta admit, I find that kind of spider rather cute. It's the ones with the long, spindly, knobby legs and giant asses that skeeve me out.

Just look at how cute they can be: Peacock Spiders (^)
 
2012-05-03 04:51:18 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-05-03 05:00:28 PM
farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2012-05-03 05:19:15 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-05-03 05:26:28 PM
I have bigger problems with barking spiders.
 
2012-05-03 05:30:17 PM
i832.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-03 05:53:51 PM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-05-03 05:54:01 PM

mainstreet62: ************EMERGENCY SPIDER SYSTEM (ESS) ACTIVATED************

A SEVERE HORRIFYING SPIDER WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR FARK THREAD# 7085007 AT 1:34 PM EDT ON THURSDAY, MAY 3RD 2012.

THIS WARNING CONFIRMS THE SIGHTING OF ARACHNIDS THAT WILL BE SURE TO EITHER KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP OR INVADE YOUR DREAMS AND CAUSE VOMITING, HEART ATTACKS, STROKE, AND/OR SOILED PANTS.

REMAIN CALM. SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY AND/OR FIND WEAPONS THAT CAN TERMINATE HORRIFYING SPIDERS. APPROVED WEAPONS INCLUDE FLAMETHROWERS, NAPALM, COLLEGE ORGANIC CHEMISTRY TEXTBOOKS, OR NUCLEAR MISSILES. FIND THE NEAREST WEAPON, AND REPEATEDLY SMASH THE SPIDER UNTIL IT IS COMPLETELY FLATTENED AND HAS STOPPED MOVING/TWITCHING. IF YOU CANNOT PERFORM THIS TASK, FIND THE NEAREST NON-PUSSY TO DO IT FOR YOU.

ONCE THE SPIDER IS DESTROYED, USE NUCLEAR MISSILES AND/OR GASOLINE WITH A MATCH TO BURN THE BODY, TO MAKE SURE THE SPIDER IS DOWN FOR GOOD. REMOVE THE ASHES WITH A VACUUM CLEANER, AND MAKE SURE YOU CAUTERIZE THE VACUUM CLEANER JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

THIS CONCLUDES THE ESS EMERGENCY BROADCAST

******END TRANSMISSION*********


"Funny"-ed. This should show up in every spider thread from now on.
 
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