Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   New study finds short men live longer than taller men, still the last to know if it's raining   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Interesting, African elephants, Asian Elephant, DNA damage, afterimages, Levi Johnson, Junior Seau, warmth, mangoes  
•       •       •

3082 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2012 at 8:35 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2012-05-03 08:35:19 AM  
Well, since I'm 6'1", I guess that means I'm only going to live about a year less than someone who's 5'9".
 
2012-05-03 08:37:06 AM  
www.smbc-comics.com
 
2012-05-03 08:37:06 AM  
I'm pretty tall and tend to smash my head in to a lot of things.
 
2012-05-03 08:37:44 AM  
That's because women are stressful and short guys don't have to worry about that as much.
 
2012-05-03 08:39:21 AM  

BigLuca: That's because women are stressful and short guys don't have to worry about that as much.


Ding! Ding! Ding!

We have a winner!

/They also tend to have better, and likely more stressful, careers
 
2012-05-03 08:40:33 AM  
Small man, big mouth!
 
bow
2012-05-03 08:42:09 AM  
I'm 5'6", so this is great news for me!
 
2012-05-03 08:43:15 AM  
Makes sense. Women live longer than men, short men are less manly than tall men, therefore they live longer.
 
2012-05-03 08:43:42 AM  
So, get into heaven first, too?

Suck it, runts.
 
2012-05-03 08:46:09 AM  
*we* dammit, *we*

/Smacks forehead
//Sound will reach you soon, shorty
 
2012-05-03 08:46:23 AM  
So...I got that going for me. Which is nice...

:/
 
2012-05-03 08:48:19 AM  
5'2" I AM IMMORTAL!
 
2012-05-03 08:48:53 AM  
If I'm going soon I'm taking you all with me! Oops, wrong thread. I thought this was the thread about going to morning happy hour at the local bar. Let me check what this one is. Hold on....
Oh dear god, that was inappropriate. I'm not going to...aw screw it, I'm a man of my word. You're all dead...wrong about what I was going to write. I'm still extending an open invitation for you all to come to die...for the prices and quality of their brunch buffet! But really no. I just want to kill you all...with kindness! Come on up to Boston and join me for a drink or I'll drown you....with morning mimosas. And Bloody Mary. not kidding about that one. I fuking hate Mary.
 
2012-05-03 08:49:11 AM  
if you call that living, i guess.
 
2012-05-03 08:49:12 AM  
Bad news for me, 6'-5"
 
2012-05-03 08:49:18 AM  

BigLuca: That's because women are stressful and short guys don't have to worry about that as much.


They are also smaller targets and harder to hit. On the other hand:

static.someecards.com


cdn.theatlantic.com

lh4.ggpht.com
 
2012-05-03 08:52:16 AM  
You may look bigger,
but physics is not kind to those types.
 
2012-05-03 08:54:31 AM  
Growing up as a primordial dwarf has been both difficult and rewarding. A primordial dwarfism, if you aren't aware, is a unique type of midget. Most midgets have regular sized torsos but short arms and legs. They are out of proportion and obviously look ridiculous. A primordial midget, on the other hand, is very small (I'm 3'1" in sneakers) but perfectly proportional. I've always counted my primordialism as a blessing because I don't look all farked up like other midgets.

I guess the hardest part has been dating. There aren't many other primordials and most of them are assholes with Mt. Rushmore sized chips on their shoulders. I drive an electric Jeep, very dependable and reasonable. Most others drive fancy sports cars (look at this asshole's) to try to compensate for their shortcomings. I wasn't completely honest when I said I was perfectly proportional. My biggest misproportion is in my pants. That rules out dating most other dwarves because I would destroy their internal organs with just a few hard pumps.

Every day, though, holds its own treasure trove of rewards. Like reaching the elevator buttons, or hiding from my miniature poodle under the couch cushions, or jumping off the roof with a pillow-sack parachute, or practicing my signature cock-uppercuts for my next UFC try out. Whenever anyone sees me do something awesome, they always say "that was awesome." And I say, "it's the little things in life," and I point at my chest. I probably won't live much past thirty, so I try to get the most out of every situation.

See you later, got to go for a spin in the dryer! Woo-hoo!
 
2012-05-03 08:55:18 AM  
This may be true, but can you really call that living?
 
2012-05-03 08:56:45 AM  
Tall women can't take a dick
/Who pays for this bullshiat
 
2012-05-03 08:57:24 AM  

Crewmannumber6: Bad news for me, 6'-5"


HA HA!

6'2"

You're going before me!
 
2012-05-03 08:59:41 AM  
Lower than average height is common among poorer immigrant populations, immigrants tend to take lower paying jobs, therefore height and salary are correlated.

Dont assume it's going to get you better pay.

And continue to believe that flossing and red wine are going to stop that heart attack.
 
2012-05-03 09:01:10 AM  
Ha Ha, all 5 ft 8in of me will be dancing on your graves with my stubby Celtic legs, you pituitary driven freaks!

/No offense.
 
2012-05-03 09:07:56 AM  

cleveoh: Ha Ha, all 5 ft 8in of me will be dancing on your graves with my stubby Celtic legs, you pituitary driven freaks!

/No offense.


hah, must be a Celtic thing, I'm 5'8" with French-Celtic blood and because of my stubby legs I look like a giant sitting down but when I go to stand up it looks like I'm still sitting down. Plus let's just say my mother's homeland of Ecuador isn't known for it's NBA player recruitment
 
2012-05-03 09:10:58 AM  
6'7", I'm amazed I'm still alive
 
2012-05-03 09:14:55 AM  
Well, if that's true, then what about Mr Miyagi, huh!? He was ancient and like, completely tiny. In fact, what about Yoda! He was older than anyone and barely tall enough to look R2 in the eye.

/Is 6' tall so doesn't really care either way.
//Rather live a few years less as a tall man than a few years more as a short man.
 
2012-05-03 09:16:06 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: I'm pretty tall and tend to smash my head in to a lot of things.


I think these statistics reflect the growing popularity of ceiling fans in the 80s and 90s.

Goddamn, I hate ceiling fans.
 
2012-05-03 09:18:03 AM  

TheHappyCanadian: cleveoh: Ha Ha, all 5 ft 8in of me will be dancing on your graves with my stubby Celtic legs, you pituitary driven freaks!

/No offense.

hah, must be a Celtic thing, I'm 5'8" with French-Celtic blood and because of my stubby legs I look like a giant sitting down but when I go to stand up it looks like I'm still sitting down. Plus let's just say my mother's homeland of Ecuador isn't known for it's NBA player recruitment


5'9" here with French-Celtic ancestry as well, with some Native American thrown in. What up, mah peoples!
 
2012-05-03 09:18:17 AM  
I'm 52' 11 1/4" and died three weeks ago so I'm getting a kick...
 
2012-05-03 09:21:15 AM  
spentmiles is my favorite troll


/5'6
//fat girls and cougars love me
///ok with the coogs, no thanks to the fatties
 
2012-05-03 09:22:18 AM  

kim jong-un: And continue to believe that flossing and red wine are going to stop that heart attack.


How about capsaicin and cider? Do they help?
(Note for Americans, cider is what happens when you ferment apple juice)

I'm significantly above average male height for every country in the world except the Scandinavian ones and the Netherlands, where I'd be spot-on average. Those crazy dutch and scandinavians are damn tall!
 
2012-05-03 09:27:53 AM  
In other words, by the time Martin finishes the Ice and Fire saga, Peter Dinklage will still play Tyrion after all the other actors have aged to the point to be replaced. I'm ok with this.
 
2012-05-03 09:29:26 AM  

Gothnet: (Note for Americans, cider is what happens when you ferment apple juice)


If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there, fella.
If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town.
 
2012-05-03 09:29:47 AM  
who'd want to live 2 years longer and be less of a man? short guys that's who
 
2012-05-03 09:30:38 AM  
I'm 6'0 and my wife is 5'0 we average out to 5'6" so everything should be OK.
 
2012-05-03 09:35:14 AM  

the man with the screaming brain: 6'7", I'm amazed I'm still alive


Thought I was the only one.... wondering, too, if we're the tallest around these parts?

*Very* high five!

Being tall is great, but being freakishly tall sucks. I'd give up an inch, maybe two... being just a slight touch shorter would make a critical difference in the "finding clothes and cars that fit" and "banging your head into things that normal people don't even notice" departments, whilst not dramatically diminishing the "always be able to see where you're going in a crowd" and "useful ability to tower over your boss / clients" benefits.

I feel quite bad for anyone even taller, but I wish I could befriend some successful NBA guys and get handed their modified exotic cars when they're done with them... there was a [other-blog-site] post about Shaq selling one of his modified Ferraris, set so he could fit, and the board blew up with "who would do that! The first thing I would do is return it to stock!" All I could think of was, "man, he spent a fortune to make that car fit him, and it's going for pennies on the dollar. Hope another tall dude snags it."

Worst thing, though, is spotting someone tall in public and thinking, "oh, that poor freakish bastard is even taller than I am"... then passing each other and realizing that he isn't. Sigh.

/ no; are you a jockey?
// *wish* the height = salary thing was true... : (
 
2012-05-03 09:35:16 AM  
loonatic112358

who'd want to live 2 years longer and be less of a man? short guys that's who


Nahh, they'll just be pissing on your grave & banging your wife.
 
2012-05-03 09:35:52 AM  
In more than one data set I've seen a relationship between height and income but only for women, and only for women above the mean.

No relationship for men, at least not a linear one.


As for living - I recall that tall people are more likely to have cardiovascular problems than shorter people.
 
2012-05-03 09:41:11 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: I'm pretty tall and tend to smash my head in to a lot of things.


At 6'3 I hear ya, brother. If I don't take a blow to the head or knee, it means I haven't gone anywhere that day...

/terrified to shave my head as I imagine it would resemble the surface of the moon
 
2012-05-03 09:45:36 AM  

DrippinBalls: loonatic112358

who'd want to live 2 years longer and be less of a man? short guys that's who

Nahh, they'll just be pissing on your grave & banging your wife.


at that point, i'm fairly sure I won't care

and I doubt she'd date a guy shorter then me, not with a son who's likely going to top 7'
 
2012-05-03 09:53:11 AM  
It is all the same in foot-years.
 
2012-05-03 09:56:39 AM  
Yeah, but taller people live BETTER. It's a fact, go google it.
 
2012-05-03 09:57:31 AM  
5' 9-1/2" (or 5'10 w/ shoes on).

I know that's close to average, or so I've read. But damn if I don't feel about 4" shorter than everybody, everywhere I go these days. I must hang with some really big people, I guess.
 
2012-05-03 09:58:03 AM  
Of course short people live longer, they don't need to endure the rigors of good sex.
 
2012-05-03 09:59:06 AM  

loonatic112358: and I doubt she'd date a guy shorter then me, not with a son who's likely going to top 7'


You might want to clarify this point.
 
2012-05-03 10:08:29 AM  

cleveoh: Ha Ha, all 5 ft 8in of me will be dancing on your graves with my stubby Celtic legs, you pituitary driven freaks!

/No offense.


I, too, am 5'8" tall with stubby legs! Lower center of gravity rules!

/torso of a 6 footer
//hung like a can of coke
 
2012-05-03 10:09:21 AM  

Mr_Fabulous: You might want to clarify this point.


? your right it does seem well stupid

maybe after more coffee i'll make more sense
 
2012-05-03 10:11:18 AM  

chaoswolf: I, too, am 5'8" tall with stubby legs! Lower center of gravity rules!/torso of a 6 footer//hung like a can of coke


it only looks huge because you're so runty
 
2012-05-03 10:13:38 AM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Gothnet: (Note for Americans, cider is what happens when you ferment apple juice)

If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there, fella.
If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town.


In North America, at least, there's actually no clear rule distinguishing cider from apple juice. "Cider" is essentially a marketing term (and apple juice gets relabeled "cider" in autumn to raise sales.). In the rest of the world, the rule seems to be the alcohol content of the product. While cider may -tend- to be cloudy and brown, and apple juice may -tend- to be clear and yellow, I'm not aware of any place where that's the basis of any official distinction.
 
2012-05-03 10:16:26 AM  
I'm a short man and I've met the type of bimbo who goes for taller men. You can keep them.

I have a girl who is smart enough to know what a fulcrum is and how we're about to apply that directly to her clit.

/the mop and bucket are on standby
 
Displayed 50 of 67 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report