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(Daily Mail)   In keeping in line with the rest of America's renowned political hillbilly family from Alaska, Levi Johnston is planning on naming his newborn daughter after an Italian pistol manufacturer   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 182
    More: Interesting, Levi Johnson, Inside Edition, Junior Seau, Beretta, Berkshire, semiautomatic pistols, shooter game, Alaska  
•       •       •

9284 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2012 at 12:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



182 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-05-03 12:31:18 PM  

Lane83: dittybopper: Aarontology: vpb: So I guess the pattern is weather phenomenon + weapon. So maybe her brother will be Tornado Bazooka?

Hurricane Armalite

Sirocco Remington.

Cyclone Savage.

Drizzle Ruger.

Sleet Derringer.

Flurry Kalashnikov

Chinook Bersa.


Dessert Eagle
 
2012-05-03 12:31:37 PM  
So. Much. Schadenfreude. So. Many. White Trash Stereotypes. Perpetuated.

At least this "Sunny Oglesby" not only puts out but seems to be a step up in the looks department from Bristol.
 
2012-05-03 12:32:33 PM  

LibertyHiller: 87 comments, and I'm the first to notice that the Daily Fail misspelled the dude's name, and two different ways in the lede graf.

Good jorb, Farkers.


Dude, you want a nickname too based off of weather and guns?

Gust of shiat. (shiat can be a weapon)

Seriously, you mad bro?
 
2012-05-03 12:33:41 PM  
At least it doesn't rhyme with cat piss.
 
2012-05-03 12:34:11 PM  
world.guns.ru
They are naming her Mateba?

Cool.
 
2012-05-03 12:34:24 PM  

coeyagi: LibertyHiller: 87 comments, and I'm the first to notice that the Daily Fail misspelled the dude's name, and two different ways in the lede graf.

Good jorb, Farkers.

Dude, you want a nickname too based off of weather and guns?

Gust of shiat. (shiat can be a weapon)

Seriously, you mad bro?


No, troll, just disappointed.
 
2012-05-03 12:34:31 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: So. Much. Schadenfreude. So. Many. White Trash Stereotypes. Perpetuated.

At least this "Sunny Oglesby" not only puts out but seems to be a step up in the looks department from Bristol.


For now. Based on her complexion and tanning, she's going to look like 100 miles of bad highway by 35.

//would still create a weather phenomenon in her with my weapon
 
2012-05-03 12:34:40 PM  
Aurora Peacekeeper

/for the hippies?
 
2012-05-03 12:35:39 PM  

LibertyHiller: coeyagi: LibertyHiller: 87 comments, and I'm the first to notice that the Daily Fail misspelled the dude's name, and two different ways in the lede graf.

Good jorb, Farkers.

Dude, you want a nickname too based off of weather and guns?

Gust of shiat. (shiat can be a weapon)

Seriously, you mad bro?

No, troll, just disappointed.


Troll? Seriously, you're the one taking jabs at Farkers, I was just pointing out your rageness. It's cool, but you'd better do some hand spackling with all that pent up hate.
 
2012-05-03 12:35:41 PM  
At least I didn't name my daughter after a car!
 
2012-05-03 12:36:05 PM  

My pr0n name is Tom Seaview: OK, that settles it: we're naming our daughter Kalashnikova...


That's pretty. I always liked Kimber.
 
2012-05-03 12:36:21 PM  

dittybopper: Sleet Derringer.



I call dibs on my new porn name
 
2012-05-03 12:36:40 PM  
Sounds to me like Levi is trying to knock Cletus Federline off his title of national sperm donor.
 
2012-05-03 12:38:03 PM  

wrenchboy: Sounds to me like Levi is trying to knock Cletus Federline off his title of national sperm donor.


Would like a word.

thebirthdayblogg.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-05-03 12:39:48 PM  
Why is the hell is this in the politics tab? This doesn't even deserve the entertainment tab.
 
2012-05-03 12:40:22 PM  
In all seriousness though, I can hardly believe that it is the year 2012 and people are still having "accidental pregnancies"
 
2012-05-03 12:40:52 PM  

5Nickels: Why is the hell is this in the politics tab? This doesn't even deserve the entertainment tab.


Because Romney would be wise to pick Sarah Palin for VP, you know, seeing as how her Alaskan associates keep doing the right thing and having the baby.
 
2012-05-03 12:41:54 PM  

Jackson Herring: In all seriousness though, I can hardly believe that it is the year 2012 and people are still having "accidental pregnancies"


Jesus to Stormtrooper (i.e., some Christian fark): These are not the contraceptives your'e looking for.
 
2012-05-03 12:42:37 PM  

coeyagi: LibertyHiller: coeyagi: LibertyHiller: 87 comments, and I'm the first to notice that the Daily Fail misspelled the dude's name, and two different ways in the lede graf.

Good jorb, Farkers.

Dude, you want a nickname too based off of weather and guns?

Gust of shiat. (shiat can be a weapon)

Seriously, you mad bro?

No, troll, just disappointed.

Troll? Seriously, you're the one taking jabs at Farkers, I was just pointing out your rageness. It's cool, but you'd better do some hand spackling with all that pent up hate.


Again, no rage or hate, just disappoint.

I've had you farkied as "troll, less-than-ZPGer" for a couple of years. Deal with it.
 
2012-05-03 12:43:44 PM  

LibertyHiller: coeyagi: LibertyHiller: coeyagi: LibertyHiller: 87 comments, and I'm the first to notice that the Daily Fail misspelled the dude's name, and two different ways in the lede graf.

Good jorb, Farkers.

Dude, you want a nickname too based off of weather and guns?

Gust of shiat. (shiat can be a weapon)

Seriously, you mad bro?

No, troll, just disappointed.

Troll? Seriously, you're the one taking jabs at Farkers, I was just pointing out your rageness. It's cool, but you'd better do some hand spackling with all that pent up hate.

Again, no rage or hate, just disappoint.

I've had you farkied as "troll, less-than-ZPGer" for a couple of years. Deal with it.


It's cool, it just shows you have ZERO understanding what a troll is. Your problem, not mine.
 
2012-05-03 12:44:02 PM  

indylaw: There are three basic rules for healthy living:

1) Never start a land war in Asia;
1) Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
2) Don't taunt the dynamite monkey; and
3) Don't feed the attention-whoring trailer trash.


/ pet peeve
// What about the R.O.U.Ss???
/// Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
 
2012-05-03 12:44:49 PM  

5Nickels: Why is the hell is this in the politics tab? This doesn't even deserve the entertainment tab.


BREAKING: Mitt Romney announces Sunny Oglesby's mom will be 2012 running mate.
 
2012-05-03 12:46:21 PM  

Lenny_da_Hog: 5Nickels: Why is the hell is this in the politics tab? This doesn't even deserve the entertainment tab.

BREAKING: Mitt Romney announces Sunny Oglesby's mom will be 2012 running mate.


BREAKING UPDATE: Librarians rushed to Alaska to tell Sunny Oglesby's mom what newspapers and magazines she is currently reading.
 
2012-05-03 12:47:13 PM  

Jackson Herring: In all seriousness though, I can hardly believe that it is the year 2012 and people are still having "accidental pregnancies"


If it's an "accident," one expects to be forgiven. It sounds better than "She knew she'd forgotten them, and we went ahead anyway because Levi doesn't like wearing galoshes, no matter how hard it's raining."
 
2012-05-03 12:47:27 PM  
Stoner Browning Santorum. Levi has a sister, there's a Santorum that looks like a twinkie double from that kid from the Omen. Let's make it happen.
 
2012-05-03 12:49:40 PM  
How does this fit in with the politics page? I think this should be on the "Who f*ckin Cares Page"
 
2012-05-03 12:50:46 PM  
Foggy Tanfoglio
Shine Picatinny
St. Elmo's Fire Mare's Laig
 
2012-05-03 12:51:59 PM  

monoski: How does this fit in with the politics page? I think this should be on the "Who f*ckin Cares Page"


Because this furthers the "every life is precious" message from the Right, even if conceived out of utter stupidity or resulting in a drool puppet like the world's most ironically-named baby, Trig.
 
2012-05-03 12:53:33 PM  

the biggest redneck here: When I hear Beretta, I think pistols. Never once have I seen a Beretta shotty in the field, and only a few times at a clay range. Unless you're counting Benellis as Beretta-owned. It's splitting hairs, but in the lower 48 they're known as a pistol company.


I've known people for the last 30 years who have Beretta (not Benelli) shotguns, and in the "lower 48". Especially waterfowl shooters, I knew at least 10 people in South Dakota during the 80s and early 90s who had Beretta shotguns.
 
2012-05-03 12:55:07 PM  
Tule Fog Schmeisser
 
2012-05-03 12:56:43 PM  
and forgetting for a min that the bastard in the white house literally is a bastard and has a made up name that reflects his mud hut relatives that eat food cooked off cow dung---- whats your point?
 
Ehh
2012-05-03 12:57:19 PM  
Jackson Herring: In all seriousness though, I can hardly believe that it is the year 2012 and people are still having "accidental pregnancies"

Real Americans do.

/Catalina Eddy Barrett
 
2012-05-03 12:57:43 PM  
I remember when black people had a near monopoly on insanely stupid made-up names, but man, white folks have done a spectacular job of catch-up in recent years.
 
2012-05-03 12:58:18 PM  

swangoatman: and forgetting for a min that the bastard in the white house literally is a bastard and has a made up name that reflects his mud hut relatives that eat food cooked off cow dung---- whats your point?


Actually it means Blessing in Swahili you farking moron. Just... DIAF.
 
2012-05-03 12:59:48 PM  

swangoatman: and forgetting for a min that the bastard in the white house literally is a bastard and has a made up name that reflects his mud hut relatives that eat food cooked off cow dung---- whats your point?


...Hot Air Inchoate Rage?
 
2012-05-03 01:00:16 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: I remember when black people had a near monopoly on insanely stupid made-up names, but man, white folks have done a spectacular job of catch-up in recent years.


See number of kids named Espn last year...
 
2012-05-03 01:01:03 PM  

swangoatman: and forgetting for a min that the bastard in the white house literally is a bastard and has a made up name that reflects his mud hut relatives that eat food cooked off cow dung---- whats your point?


Furthermore, Obama's parents were married when he's born, thus negating your bastard comment too. You truly are a worthless retard.
 
2012-05-03 01:01:49 PM  
OK, I'll go there...

Chad Sexington

Rod Strongo

Johnny Longtorso

Action Oxford

So many more...
 
2012-05-03 01:02:05 PM  

dittybopper: Squall Longrifle.


Sounds like a Native American pornstar.
 
2012-05-03 01:02:38 PM  

swangoatman: and forgetting for a min that the bastard in the white house literally is a bastard and has a made up name that reflects his mud hut relatives that eat food cooked off cow dung---- whats your point?


Your troll-fu is too weak my son. Try elsewhere.
 
2012-05-03 01:02:41 PM  

swangoatman: and forgetting for a min that the bastard in the white house literally is a bastard and has a made up name that reflects his mud hut relatives that eat food cooked off cow dung---- whats your point?


0/10

Fun fact: A lot of Real Americans had no choice but to cook their food over buffalo dung when they were settling Real America.
 
2012-05-03 01:03:00 PM  
Aurora Nagant

/slim pickins this late
 
2012-05-03 01:03:08 PM  
Torrent Flintlock
 
2012-05-03 01:03:48 PM  
Kel-tec Hipoint
 
2012-05-03 01:04:38 PM  
Hey thanks, Fark!

I really needed to keep up with the latest on a guy from Alaska who once knocked up the daughter of a woman who lost an election one time.
 
2012-05-03 01:05:59 PM  
Meet the twins, Smith & Wesson.

And my youngest son, Remington Steele Dumbass Jr.

***
Despite being something that everybody has wanted to say at some time, Smith & Wesson are not Christian names. But I should talk. I have four surnames.

Giving a child a dumbass name is child abuse, but you have to expect some child abuse with your stupid in an Idiocracy..
 
2012-05-03 01:06:07 PM  
Sirocco Benelli
 
2012-05-03 01:08:44 PM  
unimpressed
images1.43places.com
 
2012-05-03 01:12:31 PM  
I once dated a girl named Kimber Savage.

First thing I asked her after we were introduced: "Your dad is a marine isn't he?"

He was, and as it turned out he picked her name. Was kind of an inside joke the girls never picked up on between us.
 
2012-05-03 01:12:46 PM  

Jackson Herring: Welp you guys totally lost sight of the actual humor in this when you forgot about alliteration. Should have been Chinook Chauchat.


We don't talk about The French Gun here, Mister.
 
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