The last woman I dated would actually reference movies when communicating what she wanted out of the relationship or explaining how I should have done something different.

I kept telling her I don't watch shiatty movies and preferred an original, unscripted life.

She broke up with me when I told her she watches too much tv and it was making her dumb.

I'm pretty confident I could win her back by stalking her and holding a boombox over my head outside her apartment, though.

FirstNationalBastard
Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play, every night you stay
I'll be watching you

Oh can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take

Every move you make
And every vow you break
Every smile you fake, every claim you stake
I'll be watching you

Every move you make
Every leaf you rake
Every dog you wake
Every herring you bake
I'll be watching yoooou...

MENSTRUATION: I wish I had known then how happy I would be now.

Look, she's happier than you are... and her name is MENSTRUATION.

I think that speaks volumes.

Skyrmion: KatjaMouse: Has there been a Craigslist type hookup movie made yet?

Well, there was Catfish.

Well, I meant in the realm of the romantic comedy.

Katherine Heigl has been lonely and unlucky in love so after a terrible eHarmony date rolls the dice and answers a personal ad in the M 4 W section of Craigslist. The ad is pretty clear that there is no interest in looking for a relationship and the guy turns out to be, oh, Jason Segal. It's weird, a little awkward and they hookup. She goes home and realizes she lost her apartment keys and has to slink back, they in turn have an actual conversation and she finds him to be more endearing and decides to file away his email. Dating occurrs, she's lying to all her friends and family about how they met which pisses him off after a while, mini break up, get back together and happy ever after.

Basically Knocked Up but sans pregnancy but somehow more sleazy.

Because People in power are Stupid: Your mom lied to everyone about romance.

When I told my mother I was getting a divorce, and then began to rattle on about how optimistic I was about finding someone else when I was ready to date, she said, "I thought the same thing after I divorced your father, but 25 years later and I'm still alone."

Thanks mom!

groppet: Hell if any guy did most things in movies to woo a girl we would probably get a restraining order at least.

A friend of mine and I outlined a horror film once about a guy who was obsessed with Breakfast at Tiffany's and would try to get his cute quirky neighbor to act out parts of the movie with him. The movie would start off like a charming little rom-com, the pixie dream girl neighbor thinks he's odd but nice enough and indulges his weird fixation. Then they go on one disastrous date where he tries to get her to shoplift someone at a dollar store but she refuses, Tiffany's won't engrave a tiepin for them, just everything goes wrong. She just outright ignores him now, his behavior escalates. Then it goes guano crazy from there as he goes stalker on her ass and terrorizes her, to include something unpleasant happening to her cat.

There's also talk about using Moon River as a creepy soundtrack cue.

Love hurts, sometimes self-sacrifices must be made...

kab: In other news, goddamn there's some sad, bitter folks in this thread.

Until some perky eccentric young woman, preferably with colorfully died hair, bounces into my life and sees me being more than the boring stuffed shirt that I am, and then engages me with her wild and quirky antics, I won't be happy.

In other news, goddamn there's some sad, bitter folks in this thread.

ELAINE!!!


ELAINE!!!!!

Ambivalence: FirstNationalBastard: Love is a lie, romance is bullshiat, and odds are you will die alone, wallowing in your own excrement.


Those sentences are not mutually inclusive. You can find the love of your life and still die alone, wallowing in your own excrement.

Every hello comes with a goodbye, and it's rare for even lifelong lovers to die together.

So you're saying a lucky few will be able to die wallowing in each others excrement?

Oh joy.

/staying single

FTA: There will not be a comedy of manners or tiny, insurmountable offenses, in which he says one thing and you take it the wrong way and then you say something else, and then other people stick their noses in and sway you in one way or the other, but then he saves your sister from ill repute, and you finally realize what a good man he is, and how he love-love-loves you.

It's still real to me, dammit. Mr. Darcy, if you're reading this, call me!

FirstNationalBastard: Love is a lie, romance is bullshiat, and odds are you will die alone, wallowing in your own excrement.

And any movie that doesn't portray that is lying to you.

And let's not forget all these damn Disney movies that con young girls into believing they're special little princesses, an attitude that they do not lose as they get older. In fact, it only gets worse.

And then, when broads do get older, they're force fed these horrible romantic comedies and chick flicks which make their belief that they're princesses seem plausible!

And it isn't any better on the male side, either. She doesn't give a damn about you, just the status or financial security or child you're donating sperm to her for. That's it.

And, if by some miracle what I've written is wrong, and you wind up happy, it'll all end like the first scene in UP.

Well goddamn; it's so nice to enjoy my coffee with your uplifting rant.

Obvious tag needs to show up, punch Sad tag in the stomach, point at it and say "Ha! Ha!"