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(WLWT)   Man was a helmet at the time of the accident   (wlwt.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, Tropical Cyclone Report, accidents  
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11539 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2012 at 12:56 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-02 02:04:16 PM  

The_Original_Roxtar: lockers: bpsmyth: 2) You know how I know you've never seen Kathy Griffin's stand up?

It's hard to come up with a more appropriate debunking of Seinfield's status as the worst stand up comedians. But hell, I'm going to try anyway. Carrot Top? Gallagher? Andrew Dice Clay? I mean there are certainly more deserving candidates for that thankless title.

Lisa Lampanelli.
we get it, you're a fat whore who prefers black men. come up with another joke already.


I like Amy Schumer. She was the funniest person at the Charlie Sheen roast.

/[Something about my purple helmet goes here]
 
2012-05-02 02:04:23 PM  

Strategeryz0r: The water was cold: "Let me ask you this question in regards to the skydiving: what is the point of the helmet in the skydiving? I mean, can you kinda make it? You jump out of that plane and that chute doesn't open, the helmet is now wearing you for protection. Later on the helmet's talking with the other helmets going "It's a good thing that he was there or I would have hit the ground directly."

-- Jerry Seinfeld

My parachute deployed, I hit my head on a rock once I landed on the ground. Without the helmet it would have indefinitely caused a concussion.

That's why you have a helmet. And that's why Jerry Seinfeld is one of the worst stand up comedians of all time(though his tv show was great.). Observational humor only works when you actually grasp all the concepts of what you're observing, yet still are able to find absurdities.


I give more credit to Larry David. And Jason Alexander. His acting ability kinda hid Jerry's stiff delivery style.
Also, side characters helped.
 
2012-05-02 02:08:31 PM  
Can relate...
bobeinstein.com
 
2012-05-02 02:16:01 PM  
Thank goodness he was a helmet. Being a saddlebag would really cause some damage.
 
2012-05-02 02:30:10 PM  

JesseL: spentmiles: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured. That's why I don't understand widows and children crying at biker's funerals. They didn't care about you people, so stop your blubbering!

Whereas a persistent troll can expect a party at their funeral that will only be rivaled by the sendoff to Hell for Fred Phelps.


spentmiles first sentence is right on the money: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured. - everyone dumps it sooner or later. you're surrounded by danger, the very thing that makes it a thrill to ride a bike.

if you have children that depend on you and you insist on being so selfish as to continue to engage in high risk activity the least you can do is have yourself insured to the teeth. otherwise your SO is left behind to struggle while they try to raise the little ones and bring in an income.
 
2012-05-02 02:34:28 PM  

KrispyKritter: spentmiles first sentence is right on the money: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured.


That statement is complete and utter bullshiat. While your chances of injury do go up if you ride, and the chances of you dumping your bike at some point are pretty farking high, the idea that riding a motorcycle guarantees a painful death is just, well, complete and utter bullshiat.
 
2012-05-02 02:36:08 PM  

cherryl taggart: Thank goodness he was a helmet. Being a saddlebag would really cause some damage.


I dunno, when my bike got totaled the saddlebags were pretty much the only things unharmed. My helmet got the crap beat out of it.
 
2012-05-02 02:44:07 PM  

KrispyKritter: spentmiles first sentence is right on the money: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured.


Yes, because the fatality rate for motorcyclists is 100% and you have the data that proves it.

/when you agree with a troll, your FAIL rate is 100%.
 
2012-05-02 02:44:18 PM  
I live in Ohio and rode my bike to work today... needless to say I'm getting a kick out of these responses.
 
2012-05-02 02:45:57 PM  

KrispyKritter: JesseL: spentmiles: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured. That's why I don't understand widows and children crying at biker's funerals. They didn't care about you people, so stop your blubbering!

Whereas a persistent troll can expect a party at their funeral that will only be rivaled by the sendoff to Hell for Fred Phelps.

spentmiles first sentence is right on the money: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured. - everyone dumps it sooner or later. you're surrounded by danger, the very thing that makes it a thrill to ride a bike.

if you have children that depend on you and you insist on being so selfish as to continue to engage in high risk activity the least you can do is have yourself insured to the teeth. otherwise your SO is left behind to struggle while they try to raise the little ones and bring in an income.


Tell it to all the completely absent baby daddies.

And to all the firefighters, policemen, skiers, football players, soldiers, and - oh, hell, anyone who takes calculated risks for fun or as a profession.

You are either a fraidy cat, a new first time father or a complete idiot. Or all three. Hopefully your crotch fruit will survive the many dangers of life to become a fully-grown, fully-cushioned breeding idiot like yourself.
 
2012-05-02 02:51:56 PM  

bpsmyth: Strategeryz0r:
My parachute deployed, I hit my head on a rock once I landed on the ground. Without the helmet it would have indefinitely caused a concussion.

That's why you have a helmet. And that's why Jerry Seinfeld is one of the worst stand up comedians of all time(though his tv show was great.). Observational humor only works when you actually grasp all the concepts of what you're observing, yet still are able to find absurdities.

1)So the helmet allowed you to sustain a concussion for a defined amount of time? I guess that's good.

2) You know how I know you've never seen Kathy Griffin's stand up?


Seen Kathy Griffin's what stand up? Did she finally take the plunge and go for the addadictomy?
 
2012-05-02 02:59:30 PM  

Tango_down: I live in Ohio and rode my bike to work today... needless to say I'm getting a kick out of these responses.


I do feel sorry for you..........living in Ohio and all.
 
2012-05-02 03:01:03 PM  
Couldn't find a picture, but:

"He's got his sandwich in one hand....and a farkin' head in the other!".
 
2012-05-02 03:02:30 PM  

i upped my meds-up yours:
Seen Kathy Griffin's what stand up? Did she finally take the plunge and go for the addadictomy?

Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person.
an un-funny person.
 
2012-05-02 03:02:48 PM  

KrispyKritter: JesseL: spentmiles: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured. That's why I don't understand widows and children crying at biker's funerals. They didn't care about you people, so stop your blubbering!

Whereas a persistent troll can expect a party at their funeral that will only be rivaled by the sendoff to Hell for Fred Phelps.

spentmiles first sentence is right on the money: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured. - everyone dumps it sooner or later. you're surrounded by danger, the very thing that makes it a thrill to ride a bike.

if you have children that depend on you and you insist on being so selfish as to continue to engage in high risk activity the least you can do is have yourself insured to the teeth. otherwise your SO is left behind to struggle while they try to raise the little ones and bring in an income.


If you want to wrap yourself in bubblewrap in the hopes that you can survive long enough to help your (evidently utterly incompetent) spouse raise your child, be my guest.

Don't expect me to buy into your guilt trip because I weigh my priorities a bit differently though. I expect that in the end my child will end up devouring your helpless spawn.
 
2012-05-02 03:11:55 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: That statement is complete and utter bullshiat. While your chances of injury do go up if you ride, and the chances of you dumping your bike at some point are pretty farking high, the idea that riding a motorcycle guarantees a painful death is just, well, complete and utter bullshiat.


FYI, according to the NHTSA, the fatality rate for motorcyclists is 73.12 per 100,000 registered motorcycles. That puts your raw odds of becoming road art at roughly .0007 any given year. 7 hundredths of a percent. Given all the joy that riding brings me, I think I'll roll the dice on that one. Plus, given how many fatality accidents involve alcohol, not wearing a helmet and other extremely reckless behavior, it seems that there are very simple ways to lower your risk even more.

Injuries are obviously much higher, because like you say, the odds of dumping eventually it are pretty high. But an injury can range anywhere from "cuts and bruises" to "Full on 'Song of the Sausage Creature'"

So yes, riding a motorcycle is more dangerous than playing watching TV and being scared of the world, but your lifetime odds of dying from any cause are still hovering right around 100%

The danger is part of the allure of being a motorcyclist, as well as the bane of mothers everywhere. So I think it gets way overblown. Personally, I would like to see how Scuba Diving, Rock Climbing, Skiing, and flying small recreational aircraft stack up in terms of danger.
 
2012-05-02 03:40:12 PM  

spentmiles: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured. That's why I don't understand widows and children crying at biker's funerals. They didn't care about you people, so stop your blubbering!


God I am glad I favorited spentmiles. I have a bad habit of reading the post without first seeing who is the author. Now the text is in green, I know it's not either a troll or someone that is increadibly retarded, it's just spentmiles doing what he does.

/Rides a Honda CBR 600. Never died, so getting a kick.
 
2012-05-02 03:44:01 PM  
I've bounced off a truck at 45 miles per hour, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...
 
2012-05-02 04:16:11 PM  
cherryl taggart: Thank goodness he was a helmet. Being a saddlebag would really cause some damage.

I dunno, when my bike got totaled the saddlebags were pretty much the only things unharmed. My helmet got the crap beat out of it.


I initially thought, "but nobody likes a saddlebag". They kind of just lay around.

But then I thought, saddlebags are good for holding your stuff when you want to go do something else, so they have that going for them, which is nice.

/at least he wasn't a cupholder.
 
2012-05-02 04:23:29 PM  

MythDragon: spentmiles: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured. That's why I don't understand widows and children crying at biker's funerals. They didn't care about you people, so stop your blubbering!

God I am glad I favorited spentmiles. I have a bad habit of reading the post without first seeing who is the author. Now the text is in green, I know it's not either a troll or someone that is increadibly retarded, it's just spentmiles doing what he does.

/Rides a Honda CBR 600. Never died, so getting a kick.



You will someday.
 
2012-05-02 04:30:15 PM  
You are either a fraidy cat, a new first time father or a complete idiot

Or he/she works in an Emergency Dept. I've rode motorcycles(dirt not street) my whole life and I don't get how normally sane people can put themselves in traffic everyday with nothing between themselves and texting/talking/eating/distracted idiots in 2 ton death machines.

Oh right, it's the freedom of the open road. Pfffffffft.
 
2012-05-02 04:31:21 PM  

Uzzah: [images.uulyrics.com image 300x300]

What instrument did he play?

If someone was a member of the Steelers, they'd call him a Steeler, so what else would you call a guy in Helmet?


Unemployed?
 
2012-05-02 04:50:28 PM  

Stacie's Right Quad: You are either a fraidy cat, a new first time father or a complete idiot

Or he/she works in an Emergency Dept. I've rode motorcycles(dirt not street) my whole life and I don't get how normally sane people can put themselves in traffic everyday with nothing between themselves and texting/talking/eating/distracted idiots in 2 ton death machines.

Oh right, it's the freedom of the open road. Pfffffffft.


I don't have much trouble with those people.

i100.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-02 04:55:01 PM  

Cletus from Canuckistan: Can relate...
[bobeinstein.com image 291x450]


Balloon ball!
 
2012-05-02 05:08:33 PM  

Strategeryz0r: That's why you have a helmet.


Tell it to Jim O'Brien. He bounced like 15 feet. Helmet made not a lick of difference.
 
2012-05-02 05:11:10 PM  
FTFA: "Herbst, who was a helmet at the time of the crash..." Yes he was a helmet. New job:
www.safaloverseas.com
 
2012-05-02 05:13:41 PM  

CitizenTed: KrispyKritter: spentmiles first sentence is right on the money: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured.

Yes, because the fatality rate for motorcyclists is 100% and you have the data that proves it.

/when you agree with a troll, your FAIL rate is 100%.


Well, technically it is. Just like it is for every other living thing.
Of course, motorcyclists actually tend to die of old age and natural causes, again like most living things.

None of us is immortal. You will die, I will die, KrispyKritter and spentmiles will die. The difference is that some of us will have ridden motorcycles while others won't have.

/Harley Ultra Classic
//..and a Suzuki DR650 (everyone needs a dirt bike)
///... and a small number of relics in, or awaiting, restoration
 
2012-05-02 05:21:25 PM  
Never ride without being a helmet.
 
2012-05-02 05:26:52 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
"That's a farked up name to be namin' your kid! Helmet! See, 'cause in English, a helmet would be like, you know, like something you would wear on your head, you know? You a... a helmet! Ha ha ha! In English, that would be like callin' your kid, uh, "Lampshade" or some shiat like that: 'Hey, Lampshade! Come here and clean up your room!' Ha ha ha ha ha!"
 
2012-05-02 05:34:02 PM  
Tom: Aren't you scared you'll kill yourself if you crash?
Burt Munro: No... You live more in five minutes on a bike like this going flat out than some people live in a lifetime.

/we now return you to your regularly scheduled FARK motorcycle hate.
//did anybody make the 'donor cycle' joke yet?
 
2012-05-02 06:04:06 PM  

moike: I've bounced off a truck at 45 miles per hour, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...


I did the same off a minivan, which means my accident was somewhat less cool as yours.

Stabone33: But then I thought, saddlebags are good for holding your stuff when you want to go do something else, so they have that going for them, which is nice.


My bike looks better without them (and the windscreen as well), but every time I take them off I end up needing to carry something and put them right back on.

Stacie's Right Quad: Oh right, it's the freedom of the open road. Pfffffffft.


I really don't know what it is. All the little positive things end up outweighing the big negatives, I guess.

JesseL: I don't have much trouble with those people.


An unstrung recurve just doesn't carry the same weight. Literally and figuratively.
 
Skr
2012-05-02 06:16:02 PM  

capt.hollister: CitizenTed: KrispyKritter: spentmiles first sentence is right on the money: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured.

Yes, because the fatality rate for motorcyclists is 100% and you have the data that proves it.

/when you agree with a troll, your FAIL rate is 100%.

Well, technically it is. Just like it is for every other living thing.
Of course, motorcyclists actually tend to die of old age and natural causes, again like most living things.

None of us is immortal. You will die, I will die, KrispyKritter and spentmiles will die. The difference is that some of us will have ridden motorcycles while others won't have.

/Harley Ultra Classic
//..and a Suzuki DR650 (everyone needs a dirt bike)
///... and a small number of relics in, or awaiting, restoration


Nah spentmiles will live on forever in someone's favorite list as "Troll/Parody: I Was There"
 
2012-05-02 06:21:53 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: moike: I've bounced off a truck at 45 miles per hour, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

I did the same off a minivan, which means my accident was somewhat less cool as yours.


No sir... I win the less cool accident award. I was riding -this- at the time.

moike.net

Poor little bugger, I'd spent months restoring a rusted heap to concours perfection, literally to have it destroyed by one inattentive drunk asshole in a 70's era full size Ford pickup.

Yeah, that smashed headstock... I did that with my groin.
 
2012-05-02 06:39:43 PM  

Pariah.: THEN WHO WAS PHONE?


And I'm not needed here.
 
2012-05-02 06:45:51 PM  

moike:

Poor little bugger, I'd spent months restoring a rusted heap to concours perfection, literally to have it destroyed by one inattentive drunk asshole in a 70's era full size Ford pickup.
.


www.the-who.net


"You've killed me scooter!"
 
2012-05-02 06:48:11 PM  

moike: No sir... I win the less cool accident award. I was riding -this- at the time.


Oh. I guess that cancels out my minivan then.

moike: Yeah, that smashed headstock... I did that with my groin.


www.noticeablyfat.com

Yeah, that tank is hanging off the frame due to an unwanted ball-steel interaction.
 
2012-05-02 07:16:47 PM  

Strategeryz0r: The water was cold: "Let me ask you this question in regards to the skydiving: what is the point of the helmet in the skydiving? I mean, can you kinda make it? You jump out of that plane and that chute doesn't open, the helmet is now wearing you for protection. Later on the helmet's talking with the other helmets going "It's a good thing that he was there or I would have hit the ground directly."

-- Jerry Seinfeld

My parachute deployed, I hit my head on a rock once I landed on the ground. Without the helmet it would have indefinitely caused a concussion.

That's why you have a helmet. And that's why Jerry Seinfeld is one of the worst stand up comedians of all time(though his tv show was great.). Observational humor only works when you actually grasp all the concepts of what you're observing, yet still are able to find absurdities.


Boo
 
2012-05-02 08:46:39 PM  
Motorcyclists = Future Organ Donors
 
2012-05-02 10:22:32 PM  

hacksaw_jd: Motorcyclists = Future Organ Donors


Really? That's all you have.? Alrighty then.
 
2012-05-02 10:44:10 PM  

hacksaw_jd: Motorcyclists People = Future Organ Donors


fixed
unless you're a selfish prick

/motorcyclist
//organ donor
 
2012-05-02 10:48:47 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.:
Yeah, that tank is hanging off the frame due to an unwanted ball-steel interaction.


Accidents like that will learn you just how much hammering your junk can take and still work perfectly fine.

How busted up were you?
 
2012-05-02 10:57:16 PM  

moike: Accidents like that will learn you just how much hammering your junk can take and still work perfectly fine.


Yeah, it still seems to function like it's supposta. It doesn't take much to get my nuts aching anymore though, which blows.

moike: How busted up were you?


I made out pretty good, considering. I was purple and yellow from my sack to my knees, and I smacked my foot on something. Apparently it wasn't broken, but you coulda fooled me. Still feels sore when the weather changes.
 
2012-05-02 11:08:05 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.:
I made out pretty good, considering. I was purple and yellow from my sack to my knees, and I smacked my foot on something. Apparently it wasn't broken, but you coulda fooled me. Still feels sore when the weather changes.


That's better than I came out...

- Dual compound fracture lower left leg (full tibia rod, pins),
- Dual compound fracture left forearm (plates/screws),
- Deep laceration left thigh down to the femur (farking clutch lever),
- Collapsed right lung, cuts, bruises, scrapes,
- Right ankle sprained so bad it would have been better to break it
- Ripped the rotator cuffs clean off my rebuilt right shoulder,
- And a nutsack the size of a grapefruit after using it to shear the headstock clean off the Vespa.

Funny thing was six months later my roommates came home to find me going down the stairs one step at a time on my ass in my full leathers/gear with my crutches strapped across my back trying to get to the garage to sneak out on my Ducati. Normal people would have freaked out, but they were motorcyclists... So they helped me down to the garage, got the bike out for me, helped me on it, and I took off. I couldn't even shift with my left leg, I had to hook the back of my boot on the shifter and lift my leg up with my left hand to pop it up into the next gear... clutchless. When I did make it down to the coffee shop in town I had to sit on the bike till someone I knew showed up and could help me off the bike and up the steps to a table.

Best ride ever...
 
2012-05-02 11:51:08 PM  

CitizenTed: KrispyKritter: spentmiles first sentence is right on the money: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured.

Yes, because the fatality rate for motorcyclists is 100% and you have the data that proves it.


I think the actual number is closer to 117%
 
2012-05-02 11:57:40 PM  

moike: Best ride ever...


I bet it was.
 
2012-05-03 04:29:33 AM  

spentmiles: If you get on a motorcycle, you are accepting the inevitable fact that you will be fatally injured. That's why I don't understand widows and children crying at biker's funerals. They didn't care about you people, so stop your blubbering!


You were *so* close.
 
2012-05-03 02:17:46 PM  
This is tragedy.
 
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