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(Daily Mail)   Ever wanted to get into bed with identical twins? Well this guy married them (and their cousin). Polygamy rocks   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 395
    More: Interesting, stay-at-home mother  
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40456 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2012 at 1:15 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-02 04:01:25 PM  

abfalter: An entire religion that exists merely to provide justification for a man to bang more than one woman at a time.


this
 
2012-05-02 04:01:43 PM  

Skr: The dude looks like Jack Black.


Ah-hah! You're on to something... this is just a viral marketing ad for the next Jack Black movie. He plays a polygamous Mormon who starts a heavy metal rock band with his family.
 
2012-05-02 04:02:37 PM  
I hope his stupid religion doesn't prevent him from doing them all at the same time. That would be a shame and a waste.
 
2012-05-02 04:04:00 PM  

8.5 tailed fox: I blame gays. You see, there are significantly more gay men than there are lesbians. Every time a gay man pairs up, it leads to a shortage for men to pair with women. This inevitably leads to a surplus of woman. And the only solution to this overabundance of women is to marry them all off to the same man.


Yes, but there are a significantly larger number of bi women than there are bi men. It balances.
 
2012-05-02 04:05:25 PM  
Really, I'm the first to say that the one on the left looks like Amanda Tapping in Sanctuary/SG-1?
img.photobucket.com
(hotlinked)

Another
 
2012-05-02 04:06:27 PM  

Strategeryz0r: Morpheses: canyoneer: Morpheses: Oh, so it's totally cool for them to try and establish a theocracy? You know, instead of following the Constitution of the country they supposedly belong to? Ok, now I know you're trolling. Must be why I favorited you.

I'll have to tell you in all sincerity that I find most of this to be rank paranoia. I've lived out here all my life (the Four Corners States and a short stint in Nevada), and I've been regaled with dark mutterings about the Mormon Menace the whole time. So far, the Mormons have still not managed to "establish a theocracy," probably because they are bound by the same Constitution as the rest of us. Sure, they're pushy, and they manage to cling to some of their Mrs. Grundy rules in Utah, but those are eroding. They're being swamped, even in Utah, by the growing American demographic: Central American hispanics. This business about them "taking over" and whatnot is much ado about nothing.

I sincerely hope you're right...

Oh, wait... there's someone at the door. Two someones. Holding some damn book again...

There are 2 responses to this that are appropriate.

1) Answer the door with your TV blaring hardcore pornography(preferably with the TV in eye shot of the door). Ensure you are dressed in nothing but a rob, and have an appropriately large erection. The sight of a man's raging boner, and women in various sexual positions will be burned into their retinas for the rest of their lives. Also, word travels fast among the LDS circles. They wont come back.

2) Invite them in your house, and calmly break down the many inconsistencies with their chosen religion. Until you have witnessed 2 previously cheery, wide eyed, LDS missionaries decry you as an agent of satan and storm out of your house crying their eyes out... You haven't lived.


Hah! My wife, and ex-member, did just that about 2 months ago. It was pretty epic.
 
2012-05-02 04:09:32 PM  

Gliba: Really, I'm the first to say that the one on the left looks like Amanda Tapping in Sanctuary/SG-1?
[img.photobucket.com image 400x298]
(hotlinked)

Another


Your the third.
 
2012-05-02 04:10:50 PM  
Lucky bastard....quick did anyone see how he did it?
 
2012-05-02 04:17:29 PM  

Evil Mackerel: Gliba: Really, I'm the first to say that the one on the left looks like Amanda Tapping in Sanctuary/SG-1?
[img.photobucket.com image 400x298]
(hotlinked)

Another

Your the third.


Ah crap, fourth actually. Was searching for the name Samantha Carter in the thread >
/Weeners a related pic though :)
 
2012-05-02 04:17:38 PM  

Strategeryz0r: Morpheses: canyoneer: Morpheses: Oh, so it's totally cool for them to try and establish a theocracy? You know, instead of following the Constitution of the country they supposedly belong to? Ok, now I know you're trolling. Must be why I favorited you.

I'll have to tell you in all sincerity that I find most of this to be rank paranoia. I've lived out here all my life (the Four Corners States and a short stint in Nevada), and I've been regaled with dark mutterings about the Mormon Menace the whole time. So far, the Mormons have still not managed to "establish a theocracy," probably because they are bound by the same Constitution as the rest of us. Sure, they're pushy, and they manage to cling to some of their Mrs. Grundy rules in Utah, but those are eroding. They're being swamped, even in Utah, by the growing American demographic: Central American hispanics. This business about them "taking over" and whatnot is much ado about nothing.

I sincerely hope you're right...

Oh, wait... there's someone at the door. Two someones. Holding some damn book again...

There are 2 responses to this that are appropriate.

1) Answer the door with your TV blaring hardcore pornography(preferably with the TV in eye shot of the door). Ensure you are dressed in nothing but a rob, and have an appropriately large erection. The sight of a man's raging boner, and women in various sexual positions will be burned into their retinas for the rest of their lives. Also, word travels fast among the LDS circles. They wont come back.

2) Invite them in your house, and calmly break down the many inconsistencies with their chosen religion. Until you have witnessed 2 previously cheery, wide eyed, LDS missionaries decry you as an agent of satan and storm out of your house crying their eyes out... You haven't lived.


My personal favorite - Answer the door completely naked, holding a live chicken in one hand and a cleaver in the other. Greet them with Michele Bachmann crazy eyes, an enormous, grin, and a "Yes?" reminiscent of this guy:

profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-05-02 04:18:52 PM  

Spaced Lion: Strategeryz0r: Morpheses: canyoneer: Morpheses: Oh, so it's totally cool for them to try and establish a theocracy? You know, instead of following the Constitution of the country they supposedly belong to? Ok, now I know you're trolling. Must be why I favorited you.

I'll have to tell you in all sincerity that I find most of this to be rank paranoia. I've lived out here all my life (the Four Corners States and a short stint in Nevada), and I've been regaled with dark mutterings about the Mormon Menace the whole time. So far, the Mormons have still not managed to "establish a theocracy," probably because they are bound by the same Constitution as the rest of us. Sure, they're pushy, and they manage to cling to some of their Mrs. Grundy rules in Utah, but those are eroding. They're being swamped, even in Utah, by the growing American demographic: Central American hispanics. This business about them "taking over" and whatnot is much ado about nothing.

I sincerely hope you're right...

Oh, wait... there's someone at the door. Two someones. Holding some damn book again...

There are 2 responses to this that are appropriate.

1) Answer the door with your TV blaring hardcore pornography(preferably with the TV in eye shot of the door). Ensure you are dressed in nothing but a rob, and have an appropriately large erection. The sight of a man's raging boner, and women in various sexual positions will be burned into their retinas for the rest of their lives. Also, word travels fast among the LDS circles. They wont come back.

2) Invite them in your house, and calmly break down the many inconsistencies with their chosen religion. Until you have witnessed 2 previously cheery, wide eyed, LDS missionaries decry you as an agent of satan and storm out of your house crying their eyes out... You haven't lived.

My personal favorite - Answer the door completely naked, holding a live chicken in one hand and a cleaver in the other. Greet them with Michele Bachmann crazy eyes, an enormo ...


Dude. I love it. Next time those bastards come knocking I must try this.
 
2012-05-02 04:18:53 PM  
Please excuse my misplaced comma.
 
2012-05-02 04:20:10 PM  

Strategeryz0r: Dude. I love it. Next time those bastards come knocking I must try this.


You totally should. I haven't gotten a single visit from them since - and I've moved twice.
 
2012-05-02 04:21:59 PM  
I've known a lot of polyamorous and swinging people, but in practice it usually breaks down eventually, often quite terribly. When the people are young and attractive, they are fine with it as they have confidence that they will get their share of love and attention and that their partners will come back to them. However, later on at least one of the group will start to get jealous as the others demonstrate that they prefer other people at some level, or when a new younger model is brought into the group. While you might argue that humans have some natural tendency to play the field, there are lots of nuances of self-confidence, possessiveness, sense of fairness that are also natural and will rise up eventually.

If you do want to play the field, I suggest "serial monogamy" is a better model. While you're with someone, be intimate, give them full attention, support them, reciprocate their love, be trustworthy, then if the interest fades be honest about that and move on without hard feelings.

I'm simply not interested in living in a soap opera.
 
TWX
2012-05-02 04:24:59 PM  

joyride75: Oh, so I can hear three times the nagging? No thanks.


HARCOURT!!!

/better not be obscure
 
2012-05-02 04:32:08 PM  
I love this pic... He's totally eyeing the wedding photographer...

i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-05-02 04:33:44 PM  

JackieRabbit: All I can say that this mo-fo better hope that the wifes' periods don't synchronize in such a way as they all are suffering PMS at the same time that he does something their hormone-addled brains think is stupid. They'll serve him his balls and call it breakfast.


I think that is why he keeps them knocked up all the time. Preggers= no periods.
 
2012-05-02 04:34:21 PM  
Unless he is banging both of them at the same time, all he is getting is double the nagging and no physical variety. While I admire his ability to have multiple wives who are pretty decent looking, I think he may be doing it wrong.
 
2012-05-02 04:36:37 PM  

abfalter: An entire religion that exists merely to provide justification for a man to bang more than one woman at a time.

Other way around actually.
Monogamy is actually RARE in most religions. Polygamy is normal.

See:
Hinduism
The Qu'ran
Christianity (Old Testiment)
 
2012-05-02 04:39:01 PM  

TWX: joyride75: Oh, so I can hear three times the nagging? No thanks.

HARCOURT!!!

/better not be obscure


Nope.

www.sherylfranklin.com
 
2012-05-02 04:41:25 PM  

Headso: If they are all consenting adults who gives a shiat


So much this.
 
2012-05-02 04:44:46 PM  
Joe Darger alternates between each of their bedrooms every evening


F... it. I give up. Where does one sign up to be Morman?
 
2012-05-02 04:47:08 PM  

physt: Joe Darger alternates between each of their bedrooms every evening


F... it. I give up. Where does one sign up to be Morman?


You have to be able to spell the religion correctly before they let you in. It's in their Holy Book somewhere...

/Just kidding, your spelling is better...
 
2012-05-02 04:48:08 PM  

blazemongr: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x403]

Why do the girls all look happy, but the boys all look uniformly creepy?


Because the boys will all be thrown out of the community by the time they are 15?
 
2012-05-02 04:48:09 PM  

physt: Joe Darger alternates between each of their bedrooms every evening


F... it. I give up. Where does one sign up to be Morman?


Leave your booze, drugs, and caffeine at the door. Only then may you claim your wives.

edge.ebaumsworld.com
 
2012-05-02 04:48:59 PM  

Morpheses: ...


It was an intentional misspelling... like Mooselim...

/no it wasn't
//3 milfs at once
///I'm not getting anymore work done today
 
2012-05-02 04:50:43 PM  
To answer some of your questions:

We didn't even know our "situation" had a name (polyamory) until about a year or so ago.
Its a dynamic that works well for us as a trio. Its really a loving relationship with day to day regular ol' life shiat, not just crazy orgies. Sometimes all three of us participate in sexual activities, sometimes just two of us.........just like any other relationship it depends on who is in the mood......or not in the mood. We have no children and do not want any. We are in our late thirties, early forties.........hold great jobs and participate in activities as a family. Everyone knows the deal and seem comfortable with it as it has been quite some time.
 
2012-05-02 04:50:52 PM  
It's not as cool when you realize how much of your tax money goes to pay for their AFDC and the Medicaid for their inbred kids.
 
2012-05-02 04:51:21 PM  

Strategeryz0r: canyoneer: Strategeryz0r: Outdated information from July of last year Stiff drinks and doubles are illegal in Utah. Bars and restaurants must use meters on their liquor bottles to make sure they do not pour more than 1.5 ounces at a time. Other liquors can be added to cocktails in lesser amounts, not to exceed 2.5 ounces of liquor in a drink, as long as they are poured from bottles clearly marked "flavoring." fark you Utah. I know of no other state with idiocy like this. Regardless of wineries, breweries, or distilleries. Utah can go away. Now if you can show me that things have relaxed I will retract my hatred. But I have never visited a state so dead set on ensuring the populace is not allowed to live their life as they see fit. And the alcohol laws are just one part of a laundry list of absurdities.

You are filled with hatred because you cannot get a double in a bar? Sounds like you need to relax, or maybe join AA. When I'm in Utah, I live my life as I see fit and no one has ever oppressed me. But I don't spend much time in bars or around barflies, so I don't give a sh*t about that stuff. But like I said: it's a free country. You are free to avoid Utah to your heart's content.

No that's just one example, that most farkers can relate to, of how f'ed up Utah is. I'm not talking about the people oppressing you, I'm talking about the government feeling the need to regulate so damn much. If you can't even let people have a drink as they see fit(including restrictions in terms of Alcohol % in beer that are absurd), then where do you really let it end? They stop things under the guise of morality, but it's really morality imposed by the f'ing church. It's an ass backwards state that is run by people trying to shove their beliefs down everyone elses throat.

If you're happy living there, more power to you. But I live above you guys in Idaho, and watching how the mormons keep trying to influence our local politics is disgusting. Even more so when you hear them talk abou ...


i172.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-02 04:53:25 PM  

Thorazine: why would you get two women that look the same? I would think if you're going that route, get a little variety.


Because one is an absolute freak and he can never tell which one.
 
2012-05-02 04:53:45 PM  
But it's also twice the nagging? Or thrice, rather.
 
2012-05-02 04:53:52 PM  

vsavatar: However, when you localize the effects of it, it can become a genetic disaster. Most people meet and marry within a relatively close radius of where they live. If the gene pool in that area were heavily populated with half-brothers/sisters, it would create problems trying to match unrelated people for procreation purposes


I think you're conflating "married to" with "procreated with". The two concepts are orthogonal.

Many people procreate while not married. Many people procreate while married, get divorced, and then procreate again with another spouse. Neither of those situations is biologically different than polygamy.
 
2012-05-02 04:55:17 PM  

duggieb63: Not "Romney's" world. Different church. If you married more than one person in the LDS church, you get excommunicated. "mormon" wedding in your home? Sorry. "mormon" wedding is in the temple. Not allowed in if you aren't a member of the LDS church. The bishop can do a civil union, but if the guy was married in Utah, or any of the other 50 states, marrying more than one wife is also illegal. If the guy is a member of some off shoot, whatever, but it isn't the same church. Polygamy hasn't been allowed in the LDS church for over 100 years. This is as officially "mormon" as marrying a goat.

//welcome to the stereotype and ignorance
//do you feel the bliss?


What is official Mormon policy is being bigoted towards gays and persecuting them far afield. Disgusting.
 
2012-05-02 05:05:46 PM  

H31N0US: 24/3 = 6. Each wife pushed out 6 kids on average.

I have no problem with polygamy per se but trying to populate the planet with your DNA is so last millennium.


i2.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-02 05:11:01 PM  

brukmann: What is official Mormon policy is being bigoted towards gays and persecuting them far afield. Disgusting.


meh, that's pretty standard across Christianity.
 
2012-05-02 05:14:28 PM  

Anonymocoso: It's not as cool when you realize how much of your tax money goes to pay for their AFDC and the Medicaid for their inbred kids.


All true except for the parts about AFDC, Medicaid, and inbreeding.

While a lot of poligs take a lot from the State (in some circles it's a value to bleed the beast), the Dargers are self-sufficient.

These people are actually good people. They just live a lifestyle that most of us wouldn't be comfortable living.

I'd go into business 1000 times with Joe before I'd do business once with Mitt.
 
2012-05-02 05:15:19 PM  
Are some of the kids ninjas? Because there are supposed to 24 kids... + 4 adults... which should be a total of 28 people... from my counting it appears that 6 of the kids are ninjas.

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-05-02 05:19:58 PM  
After reading the comments on this site I have to point out:

It's not Bigamy it's trigamy.
 
2012-05-02 05:22:45 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-05-02 05:22:45 PM  

frepnog: HailRobonia: What's even hotter is bedding ambidentical twins. That's when Twin A looks just like Twin B, but Twin B does not look like Twin A.

is that real?

/sounds fishy but i am too busy to google


i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-05-02 05:26:44 PM  

Sofa King Smart: Are some of the kids ninjas? Because there are supposed to 24 kids... + 4 adults... which should be a total of 28 people... from my counting it appears that 6 of the kids are ninjas.

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x403]


flds ninjas? what the heck would they be trained to do?
 
2012-05-02 05:39:25 PM  

loonatic112358: Sofa King Smart: Are some of the kids ninjas? Because there are supposed to 24 kids... + 4 adults... which should be a total of 28 people... from my counting it appears that 6 of the kids are ninjas.

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x403]

flds ninjas? what the heck would they be trained to do?

stealthily

reproduce in large numbers, apparently.
 
2012-05-02 05:40:08 PM  
Those are banjo-picking levels of genetic overlap. All the kids are whole or half siblings to one another, AND the kids of the twin moms are siblings to each other, since their moms' DNA is so similar, AND the children of their cousin are second cousins to the others. So each kid in that family has a sibling, a half-sibling, and a second cousin.

"Ew, Cletus, my parents are watching!"
"It's OK, Brandine, they's my parents, too."
 
2012-05-02 05:48:07 PM  

Strategeryz0r:

Leave your booze, drugs, and caffeine at the door. Only then may you claim your wives.


Where the hell does this caffeine thing come from? I usually drink Diet Mountain Dew all day at work, and no one lines up to call me out for it or any sort of public shaming ritual.

/ I have to hurry, too, because the Diet Mountain Dew runs out first. Then I have to resort to Diet Dr Pepper.

// Yes, in Utah
 
2012-05-02 06:03:58 PM  

HTApprovedChick: Those are banjo-picking levels of genetic overlap. All the kids are whole or half siblings to one another, AND the kids of the twin moms are siblings to each other, since their moms' DNA is so similar, AND the children of their cousin are second cousins to the others. So each kid in that family has a sibling, a half-sibling, and a second cousin.


That would only be a problem if you were planning on breeding them.



/Funny thing, too...both of my kids are whole siblings to each other. Odd how that works, isn't it?
 
2012-05-02 06:34:53 PM  
I know identical twins that grew up Mormon, so I'm getting a kick out of this thread...
 
2012-05-02 06:38:22 PM  

phaseolus: SDRR: Tommy Moo: This is what the world would look like if left to natural law. A few rich guys at the top would have everything. Monogamy laws actually protect the interests of the majority of men. Without them, there would be incredible levels of violence, as the majority of men would have no access to women and therefore nothing better to do than spend all day eating and lifting weights and murdering the competition.

Your premise is wrong as it assumes people in relationships don't cheat.

That's only one way it's wrong.

He assumes that the "natural order" will always sort itself out according to the wishes of power-hungry sociopathic dickheads.

He assumes that no women would have anything to say about that social order, every one of them being either a.) submissive Stepford wives who would capitulate to it without a struggle, or b.) would be powerless and incapable of pushing back.

Or to widen the scope, he assumes that humans, male and female both, wouldn't create social orders that would keep things like this from happening. You know, kind of like has been the norm throughout much of recorded history.

Hell, he assumes that this "natural law" thing of his actually exists and there's no significant difference between Homo sapiens and Chimpanzees.

/Or, yeah, he might be trollin'.


You're funny. You imagine that humans aren't members of the animal kingdom? Your views lead me to believe you are a theist.

In a society with relative resource parity, yes, women will sort themselves out among men with a thin distribution. However, in a society where 10% of the population possesses 90% of all wealth (such as the United States), then it becomes evolutionarily advantageous for women to stack up on the haves. Even sharing his resources with his competing partners, a woman's offspring is more likely to survive with a rich man than with the full attention of a poor man. I didn't invent this theory; it is well established sociology/genetics.
 
mjg
2012-05-02 07:02:55 PM  

Johnny Bananapeel: [i.imgur.com image 575x276]


Aw, just spit out my coffee b/c of the image. Bravo!
 
2012-05-02 07:05:53 PM  
Small detail most people do not know about these arrangements:

The law only recognizes one wife, so the other two, not to mention their 15-20 kids, are eligible for food stamps, WIC, AFDC, and everything else we do for "unwed" mothers and their little bastards.

In the worst case I ever saw, a granny had a dumbass daughter (stupid like a fox more like it) who would keep getting pregnant, kid after kid; granny would go to court and say the daughter was unfit to care for the child; she would not protest and the judge would grant custody every time.

That works out to $1500 per bastard per month, and she has eight so far.

You do the math.
 
2012-05-02 07:05:54 PM  
In 1990, he looked like 'Dexter'
 
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