FARK.com: (7082701) Oompa Loompa Jersey mom puts five-year-old in tanning bed, burning her. Officials, Wonka not amused

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		Oompa Loompa Jersey mom puts five-year-old in tanning bed, burning her. Officials, Wonka not amused (huffingtonpost.com)		194
		More: Dumbass, Patricia Krentcil, New Jersey, WNBC, WABC, child abuses, Nutley

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13423 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2012 at 11:08 AM | Favorite | share:

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Gilligann		2012-05-02 12:22:10 PM

cgraves67: The story specifies a "New Jersey tanning bed". Is that like an extra strength model or something?

It's a Jersey thing

animal900		2012-05-02 12:22:33 PM

I just got back from the tanning salon so I'm getting a kick...

Heading down south soon, I do this before every sun-intensive vacation since I spent a night in a Mexican hospital with an infected burn. Never again.

Because People in power are Stupid		2012-05-02 12:23:27 PM

Kuta		2012-05-02 12:24:05 PM

Toxie it outraged at her shenanigans.

www.schnittberichte.com

cherryl taggart		2012-05-02 12:24:11 PM

What kind of visual problem does this woman have to think she looks good? Your eyesight cannot be normal, walk up to a mirror, see that looking back, and think, "Yeah, I look good."

FatSteveWasted		2012-05-02 12:24:13 PM

four95: old news is old

Hipster post is hipster.

Lorelle		2012-05-02 12:24:21 PM

Why are you guys ragging on this woman?? She's going to look absolutely AWESOME when she's older.

www.dumb.com

TyrannyOfThe3Squares		2012-05-02 12:25:15 PM

They should have arrested her for putting her child in New Jersey.

namegoeshere		2012-05-02 12:25:30 PM

If you listen to her voice, she's obviously a heavy smoker. So the skin cancer and the lung cancer can race eachother to see which can finish her off first.

That has got to be a mental illness.

namegoeshere		2012-05-02 12:26:16 PM

bump: As a 'middle aged', recently divorced guy, I shudder to think that THIS is a sample of what's out there & available in my age bracket... There ain't enough whiskey in Texas to make that attractive....

/'woof' indeed

Don't date in Jersey. You're welcome.

Roxy Monoxide		2012-05-02 12:27:47 PM

Hi.

trippdogg		2012-05-02 12:27:47 PM

CitizenTed		2012-05-02 12:27:52 PM

"I mean, that's...not normal."*

* actual quote

master_of_rayality		2012-05-02 12:28:54 PM

When I walked into the cafeteria here a few minutes ago, I happened to glance up at the TV as this story came on with the images of the mother-I actually gasped out loud as if Cthulhu himself had appeared in the room! WTF?!!!

I'd say kill it with fire, but apparently that has been tried already.

FreakinB		2012-05-02 12:29:58 PM

namegoeshere: bump: As a 'middle aged', recently divorced guy, I shudder to think that THIS is a sample of what's out there & available in my age bracket... There ain't enough whiskey in Texas to make that attractive....

/'woof' indeed

Don't date in Jersey. You're welcome.

Heh. It's worked out for me, to my never-ending shock. Believe it or not, not everyone in Jersey is type of person you might find in Seaside Heights during the summer.

/not middle-aged though

MythDragon		2012-05-02 12:29:59 PM

AgentBang: [de.futuramapedia.net image 125x220]

Also from Nutley.

Came for that, leaving....disgusted.
eww.

PapaChester		2012-05-02 12:30:47 PM

Someone needs to tell this woman that blackface is not funny outside a sitcom.

offmymeds		2012-05-02 12:31:54 PM

Lorelle: Why are you guys ragging on this woman?? She's going to look absolutely AWESOME when she's older.

[www.dumb.com image 400x338]

Jesus Christ! She looks like Abin Sur from 'Green Lantern'!

bubo_sibiricus		2012-05-02 12:36:11 PM

Not to be an asshole, but her explanation for her sproggen's sunburn can be entirely valid.

It's only 50 days from now until the Solstice, the most intense amount of UV flux from the Sun in the Northern Hemisphere.

Last I checked you can get a nice ol' burn on August 10, too, which is 100 days away.

But this time of year, people aren't thinking sunburn because they're not outside as much in the Dog Days of August. But the sun can burn you just as much now as then. Indeed, it's more likely you can burn now with less time outside than during August 10, because the unsuspecting palefaces that have been cooped up all winter (like me) can easily forget about sunblock.

MythDragon		2012-05-02 12:39:02 PM

♪Oompa Loompa Do ba dee do
I've got another Puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa do ba dee dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me.

Getting a tan is fine during a day at the beach
But looking like Flava Flav should be out of reach.
Brown, leathery, bacony skin:
It's so wrong, it must be a sin.
Oompa Loompa do ba de prancer
I hope you like living with skin cancer
Oompa Loompa do ba de cock
Unless you learn to use sun block.♫

/middle Loompa makes a good 'implied face palm' face.

namegoeshere		2012-05-02 12:39:46 PM

FreakinB: namegoeshere: bump: As a 'middle aged', recently divorced guy, I shudder to think that THIS is a sample of what's out there & available in my age bracket... There ain't enough whiskey in Texas to make that attractive....

/'woof' indeed

Don't date in Jersey. You're welcome.

Heh. It's worked out for me, to my never-ending shock. Believe it or not, not everyone in Jersey is type of person you might find in Seaside Heights during the summer.

/not middle-aged though

Yeah, I know. I've got family in the Cherry Hill area. I just run with the stereotype.

Cythraul		2012-05-02 12:40:37 PM

555-FILK		2012-05-02 12:41:55 PM

ManateeGag: some people should not be allowed to breed.

You got that right.

That little girl is a butt-face, just like her mom.

CameraMonkey		2012-05-02 12:43:55 PM

OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

Oh, wait, it looks like somebody else already tried. Time for "plan B".

/IANAPsychologist, but methinks she has some mental issues to be tanning THAT much.

namegoeshere		2012-05-02 12:45:10 PM

CameraMonkey: /IANAPsychologist, but methinks she has some mental issues to be tanning THAT much.

I'm thinking it's probably closely related to plastic surgery addiction.

I should be in the kitchen		2012-05-02 12:45:44 PM

Gross. I do not understand why some women insist on doing the tanning bed thing. I was recently back in Oregon and a couple of my mom's friends were teasing me about being so pale when I live in the southwest. I actually do get very dark if I let myself tan but it's sunny nearly every day here; I wear sunscreen just to go to work or run errands. I don't want to look like a leather sofa or worse, get skin cancer. I already have scars from mole removal/biopsies and don't want any more, thankyouverymuch.

four95		2012-05-02 12:47:23 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: So...does she tan all over? I mean ALL over? Like nekkid in that tanning bed? And is there documentation we can review...of her being tan all over her nekkid self. Tan?

www.columbiamagazine.com

Yes. Tan ALL over.

hbk72777		2012-05-02 12:47:26 PM

After seeing the video, I come to only one conclusion. That is Dee Dee Ramone in a disguise

perigee		2012-05-02 12:50:17 PM

jasimo		2012-05-02 12:55:50 PM

InfrasonicTom: She looks like she should be playing some delta blues on a cigar box guitar

Best line of the morning

groppet		2012-05-02 01:01:13 PM

Skin her and turn her into luggage.

Maybe she is married to George Hamilton

Posh Naranek		2012-05-02 01:02:01 PM

TWX: Has it really been five years since Snooki's pregnancy?

Came for the Snooki snark/photoshops. Leaving mostly/entirely disappointed. Fark all of you but TWX.

Posh Naranek		2012-05-02 01:05:48 PM

topcon: My aunt and uncle used to take their three kids to the beach a couple of times a year, and they were all redheads.

Also, this. Your RED haired daughter tanning? Wat?

PsiChick		2012-05-02 01:09:30 PM

Recoil Therapy: Hopefully the dad/husband(?) has a bunch of life insurance out on her, skin cancer can't be too far away looking the way that she does.

Was the salon owner charged as well? I don't go to tanning salons but in the ones that I have seen you've had to get an employee to let you into the room. How did the daughter get in there without some help (or a blind eye) from the salon?

FTFA, the mom was just apparently really sneaky. Salon owner\employees had no idea it was the kid getting tanned and not mom, which would certainly explain the burn.

SirTanon		2012-05-02 01:09:37 PM

finksta: Holy crap -- you should see her in this story, she looks like Al Jolson's long lost daughter.

Mammy?

xxcorydxx		2012-05-02 01:09:48 PM

looks like this guy's handiwork:

www.cynical-c.com

cryinoutloud		2012-05-02 01:12:35 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: So...does she tan all over? I mean ALL over? Like nekkid in that tanning bed? And is there documentation we can review...of her being tan all over her nekkid self. Tan?
Yeah, think on that one for a while.

Not her, but use your imagination. You know you want a woman with no tan lines.

www2.pictures.fp.zimbio.com

Jasesum		2012-05-02 01:13:25 PM

Craig Mammalton approves

SirTanon		2012-05-02 01:14:52 PM

Silly Jesus		2012-05-02 01:17:17 PM

cryinoutloud: AngryJailhouseFistfark: So...does she tan all over? I mean ALL over? Like nekkid in that tanning bed? And is there documentation we can review...of her being tan all over her nekkid self. Tan?
Yeah, think on that one for a while.

Not her, but use your imagination. You know you want a woman with no tan lines.

[www2.pictures.fp.zimbio.com image 494x467]

Swimsuits are dumb.
Not really anything to do with the post, but the picture reminded me of how pointless they are.

555-FILK		2012-05-02 01:17:28 PM

browneye: This woman looks horrible - she is slowly burning her skin to a crisp.

/But I bet she thinks she looks great.

A lot of people think they look better than they do. Ever check out Craig's List personnals? Lol. "I'm a great looking guy...."

Posts picture of themselves with three chins, a beer belly and farked up teeth and me thinking, The hell!

sandi_fish		2012-05-02 01:20:00 PM

It looks like she is wearing that body paint that bodybuilders use to look tan.

mycathatesyou		2012-05-02 01:20:49 PM

There's no way that kid was tanned. She's as pasty as me.

Hopefully when mom dies from skin cancer, the kid will know better than to ever tan.

tommydee		2012-05-02 01:23:21 PM

cgraves67: The story specifies a "New Jersey tanning bed". Is that like an extra strength model or something?

Must shoot you with brown spray paint.

w11113		2012-05-02 01:31:57 PM

This has to be an Andy Kaufman revival type joke on the the world. That can't be a person on purppose like that.

lilbjorn		2012-05-02 01:32:40 PM

Approves

girlygirlmpls		2012-05-02 01:35:07 PM

Oompa Loompas are albinos next to her.

Fano		2012-05-02 01:36:34 PM

So kawai!

KrispyKritter		2012-05-02 01:39:42 PM

NJ farker here. stupidest man i've ever met was from Nutley. Mrs.Kritter named him 'the missing link'. i could write a book about this a-hole and people wouldn't believe most of the stories. here is one:

Gerry was pretty late getting back from lunch one day and the supervisor wanted to know where the f he had been. Gerry tells him how there he was in the guido-mobile (at that time the #1 choice was the Mustang GT) and he got stuck in traffic behind a school bus.

The school bus is letting children off when Gerry says to himself 'f this' and he pulls out of his lane and passes the bus. A police cruiser was in the opposite lane down past the bus and he swings out in front of Gerry, who whips around the cop cruiser and keeps going. Needless to say the lights and siren go on.

The cop is somewhat shocked at the stupidity he just witnessed. Gerry tells him how he has to get back to work, that's why he went around the bus.

Cop says: "didn't you wonder why i pulled my car right out in front of you to block you?" Gerry says: "yeah, i just figured you were responding to a call".

Moran Gerry earned himself a fist full of tickets that day. I swear you could look at that kid and just see the stupid oozing out of him. epic fail in sneakers, a poster boy for the pro-eugenics crowd.

spidermilk		2012-05-02 01:42:14 PM

Cythraul: notalwaysright: That woman needs to be locked in a dark room until her tan fades.

ccs, I went to a tanning salon once. Took me all of 5 minutes to get a nasty sunburn. It's not something I will do again.

/Damn my pasty Canadian skin

I'm pasty white myself. I've found the best way for tanning challenged people to safely tan is to use a strong SPF sun screen and be out in the sun for a while every other day or so and tan gradually.

I'm not pasty white [always] but I do have freckles and get burnt very easily. I admit that I have gone tanning before to prepare for sun-filled vacations. I quit though since I know it was giving me cancer, costing me $$$, and causing age spots and extra wrinkles.

So now my method is to use self-tanners that come in a bottle. God knows what bad health effects those may be having on me. I use SPF 30-65 and since new age sun screen hurts my skin (I get a weird rash and it BURNS) I have to use the old type that is very hard to rub in. I put that on every hour (yes) when we were vacationing in Key West and escaped sunburn-free.

Based on my casual research, people who are out of the sun during the week and get sunburnt every weekend (their tan comes and goes) are at a higher risk for skin cancer than people who work outside every single day and have a constant tan. So, the tan *does* protect your skin from more damage after you get it...

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