If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   Oompa Loompa Jersey mom puts five-year-old in tanning bed, burning her. Officials, Wonka not amused   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 194
    More: Dumbass, Patricia Krentcil, New Jersey, WNBC, WABC, child abuses, Nutley  
•       •       •

13438 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2012 at 11:08 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



194 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-05-02 07:29:26 AM  
Was the kid a brat? If it was, then Wonka would have been very amused.
 
2012-05-02 07:36:32 AM  
i218.photobucket.com

/I have nothing to add, the mugshot says it all.
 
2012-05-02 07:47:43 AM  
some people should not be allowed to breed.
 
2012-05-02 07:56:26 AM  
Saw this on the news last night. I thought the color on my tv was messed up.

/She IS in Jersey. Doesn't everyone there tan?
 
2012-05-02 08:05:35 AM  

PainInTheASP: [i218.photobucket.com image 260x190]

/I have nothing to add, the mugshot says it all.


Is there a missing cog in her brain that causes her to think she is attractive like that?
 
2012-05-02 08:17:13 AM  
Holy crap -- you should see her in this story, she looks like Al Jolson's long lost daughter.
 
2012-05-02 08:17:14 AM  
I guess "Good day, ma'am" would be more appropriate, but it's the best I've got.
 
2012-05-02 08:18:07 AM  
FTFA: If found guilty, Krentcil could wind up where the sun doesn't shine.

Dude! Wrong metaphor.

Unless New Jersey has suddenly started cramming Oompa Loompa's up people's backsides...

/Oh dear.
 
2012-05-02 08:18:12 AM  

Nabb1: I guess "Good day, ma'am" would be more appropriate, but it's the best I've got.


Sonnova... FARK has some stingy-ass image capacity in these threads.

Link
 
2012-05-02 08:35:00 AM  

PainInTheASP: /I have nothing to add, the mugshot says it all.


Gary Busey?
 
2012-05-02 08:38:06 AM  

PainInTheASP: [i218.photobucket.com image 260x190]

/I have nothing to add, the mugshot says it all.


... I... What? Thats a real person? Thats not photshop? Please tell me thats photoshop.
 
2012-05-02 08:40:19 AM  
Well, that kid is quick on the road to skin cancer. Yay, mom!
 
2012-05-02 08:42:49 AM  

SilentStrider: PainInTheASP: [i218.photobucket.com image 260x190]

/I have nothing to add, the mugshot says it all.

... I... What? Thats a real person? Thats not photshop? Please tell me thats photoshop.


Nope...there's no way that Photoshop can improve on perfection like that.

/I should pick up sunscreen on the way home from work.
 
2012-05-02 08:54:18 AM  

Cythraul: Well, that kid is quick on the road to skin cancer. Yay, mom!


With parenting like that, I think skin cancer is the least of her concerns.
 
2012-05-02 09:01:59 AM  
That woman needs to be locked in a dark room until her tan fades.

ccs, I went to a tanning salon once. Took me all of 5 minutes to get a nasty sunburn. It's not something I will do again.

/Damn my pasty Canadian skin
 
2012-05-02 09:04:57 AM  

notalwaysright: That woman needs to be locked in a dark room until her tan fades.

ccs, I went to a tanning salon once. Took me all of 5 minutes to get a nasty sunburn. It's not something I will do again.

/Damn my pasty Canadian skin


I'm pasty white myself. I've found the best way for tanning challenged people to safely tan is to use a strong SPF sun screen and be out in the sun for a while every other day or so and tan gradually.
 
2012-05-02 09:19:45 AM  
Hopefully the dad/husband(?) has a bunch of life insurance out on her, skin cancer can't be too far away looking the way that she does.

Was the salon owner charged as well? I don't go to tanning salons but in the ones that I have seen you've had to get an employee to let you into the room. How did the daughter get in there without some help (or a blind eye) from the salon?
 
2012-05-02 09:25:51 AM  

Cythraul: notalwaysright: That woman needs to be locked in a dark room until her tan fades.

ccs, I went to a tanning salon once. Took me all of 5 minutes to get a nasty sunburn. It's not something I will do again.

/Damn my pasty Canadian skin

I'm pasty white myself. I've found the best way for tanning challenged people to safely tan is to use a strong SPF sun screen and be out in the sun for a while every other day or so and tan gradually.


That's what I do, I only went tanning because I was out with a few girl friends and that's what they decided we needed to do before having our night out.

/ SPF 65 please
 
2012-05-02 09:48:13 AM  

Earpj: Saw this on the news last night. I thought the color on my tv was messed up.

/She IS in Jersey. Doesn't everyone there tan?


Not quite. Obligatory and too big to hotlink.

/not from Jersey but I spend a lot of time there
 
2012-05-02 10:04:32 AM  

Earpj: /She IS in Jersey. Doesn't everyone there tan?


I'm from Jersey and I haven't had so much as a sun tan in 20 years.
 
2012-05-02 10:24:54 AM  
This is what she looks like in a TV interview last night. Her whole body is this fried. Can you say SKIN CANCER?

i98.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-02 10:52:54 AM  

Barnacles!: This is what she looks like in a TV interview last night. Her whole body is this fried. Can you say SKIN CANCER?

[i98.photobucket.com image 195x255]


She looks like a 70 year old black man.
 
2012-05-02 10:56:00 AM  

Barnacles!: This is what she looks like in a TV interview last night. Her whole body is this fried. Can you say SKIN CANCER?

[i98.photobucket.com image 195x255]


That's..... that's not tanning. That's, something else. What is that?! Is that some sort of regular tanning combined with fake-tan lotion, or something?
 
2012-05-02 11:00:42 AM  
This story gets dangerously close to a "dead baby" joke.
 
2012-05-02 11:09:53 AM  
I'll admit that I submitted this with a less funny headline. Well done subby, made me chuckle.
 
2012-05-02 11:10:26 AM  
If tanning were an Olympic sport, she'd win the Gold, but she'd return it in favour of the Bronze.
 
2012-05-02 11:11:41 AM  
old news is old
 
2012-05-02 11:11:59 AM  
The story specifies a "New Jersey tanning bed". Is that like an extra strength model or something?
 
2012-05-02 11:12:50 AM  
Query-is all of New Jersey crazy?
/just askin'
//am way too claustrophobic to ever get near a tanning bed
///also, am too Irish fishbelly white
 
2012-05-02 11:13:01 AM  

finksta: Holy crap -- you should see her in this story, she looks like Al Jolson's long lost daughter.


And her daughter looks like a ginger. Are we sure she didn't just take her kid outside for five minutes?
 
2012-05-02 11:14:09 AM  
I think my headline was better: local woman arrested after child gets burned, blames "filthy dirty police", vows to get her precious snowflake back.

//oompa loompa headline is pretty good though
 
2012-05-02 11:14:27 AM  
Aw, boo. I thought my headline was better.
 
2012-05-02 11:14:44 AM  

Barnacles!: This is what she looks like in a TV interview last night. Her whole body is this fried. Can you say SKIN CANCER?


We get it, she's black.
 
2012-05-02 11:14:50 AM  

RexTalionis: Barnacles!: This is what she looks like in a TV interview last night. Her whole body is this fried. Can you say SKIN CANCER?

[i98.photobucket.com image 195x255]

She looks like a 70 year old black man.


well at least you can't see the lip liner now
 
TWX
2012-05-02 11:15:31 AM  
Has it really been five years since Snooki's pregnancy?
 
2012-05-02 11:17:14 AM  

LarryDan43: Barnacles!: This is what she looks like in a TV interview last night. Her whole body is this fried. Can you say SKIN CANCER?

We get it, she's black jerky.

 
2012-05-02 11:17:33 AM  

Barnacles!: This is what she looks like in a TV interview last night. Her whole body is this fried. Can you say SKIN CANCER?

[i98.photobucket.com image 195x255]


GAH! Eye bleach, stat!!
 
2012-05-02 11:17:38 AM  
According to TFA, she didn't put the kid in the tanning bed
 
2012-05-02 11:18:19 AM  
She looks like she should be playing some delta blues on a cigar box guitar
 
2012-05-02 11:18:32 AM  

Barnacles!: This is what she looks like in a TV interview last night. Her whole body is this fried. Can you say SKIN CANCER?

[i98.photobucket.com image 195x255]


Why would anyone to that to themselves? That looks like the nasty thing you find at the bottom of your bucket of fried chicken.
 
2012-05-02 11:18:33 AM  
Melanoma is a self correcting problem.
 
2012-05-02 11:18:53 AM  
de.futuramapedia.net

Also from Nutley.
 
2012-05-02 11:19:25 AM  
Somebody already killed it with fire.

/shudder
 
2012-05-02 11:22:48 AM  
I saw this woman on the news this morning... Does anyone else here think she looks like a dessicated corpse? I think she's taking the idea of being a mummy a bit too far.
 
2012-05-02 11:23:48 AM  
me want just enough for wallet

/it rubs the lotion on
 
2012-05-02 11:26:11 AM  
She just needs some whiskers and she could pass for a thundercat.
 
2012-05-02 11:27:31 AM  

Barnacles!: This is what she looks like in a TV interview last night. Her whole body is this fried. Can you say SKIN CANCER?

[i98.photobucket.com image 195x255]


I looked at some leather fabric samples for our couch that didn't look that dissimilar.
 
2012-05-02 11:28:07 AM  
That reminds me, I need to oil my leather jacket.
 
2012-05-02 11:28:25 AM  
i1181.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-02 11:29:57 AM  
[Insert_joan_crawford.jpg]

SPRAY-ON--
TANNERS?!
 
Displayed 50 of 194 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report