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(The Advocate)   Pastor: Is your toddler acting gay? Punch them   (advocate.com) divider line 266
    More: Asinine, op-ed  
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13158 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2012 at 1:08 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-02 02:24:13 AM

uber humper: Oh god, this headline is built for the Molested Farker tm

/not believer
//but I think atheists are crazier thank believers
//me I don't give a fark what you think... even if an atheist and/or priest fark you in the arse.


What is this I don't even.
 
2012-05-02 02:26:20 AM

The Southern Dandy: OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: I am roman catholic but this guy is nuts. We aren't like this. Known of my family or friends care about homosexuality. I might not like or understand it but it's not my problem or concern. Whatever makes you happy do it. I don't care. Get married and have happy times. Any call to violence in the name of religion is not religion. It's violence. Somebody punch that pastor. He's not a pastor. He thinks he is but I promise he's not.

A Catholic oughta know. Catholicism and violence go together like Ted Haggard and teenage boys.


When? Who the Fark is Ted Haggard?
 
2012-05-02 02:30:18 AM

Britney Spear's Speculum: uber humper: Oh god, this headline is built for the Molested Farker tm

/not believer
//but I think atheists are crazier thank believers
//me I don't give a fark what you think... even if an atheist and/or priest fark you in the arse.

What is this I don't even.


Don't even what? Understand that this is from some guy who was farked up the ass by a priest?
 
2012-05-02 02:32:20 AM

MrJesus: AverageAmericanGuy: He reminds me of Sam Kinison in the way he modulates his tone from hysterics to calm from one sentence to the next.

Guess what ol' Sam did before he was a comedian.

Go on. Guess.


Cocaine?
 
2012-05-02 02:34:37 AM

uber humper: When? Who the Fark is Ted Haggard?


He was (still is?) a really outspoken, hateful, anti-drugs, anti-gay, anti-everything pastor.

He was eventually discovered snorting meth with rent-boys.
 
2012-05-02 02:35:04 AM

uber humper: The Southern Dandy: OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: I am roman catholic but this guy is nuts. We aren't like this. Known of my family or friends care about homosexuality. I might not like or understand it but it's not my problem or concern. Whatever makes you happy do it. I don't care. Get married and have happy times. Any call to violence in the name of religion is not religion. It's violence. Somebody punch that pastor. He's not a pastor. He thinks he is but I promise he's not.

A Catholic oughta know. Catholicism and violence go together like Ted Haggard and teenage boys.

When? Who the Fark is Ted Haggard?


What do you mean "when?"? When are Catholics violent? If you haven't been smacked with a yardstick by a nun, you can't really call yourself Catholic.
 
2012-05-02 02:38:15 AM
No no no no no!

His exact quote was "If your child is acting gay, fist them."

It's totally different from punching. And a lot more disturbing now that I see the joke typed up like that.
 
2012-05-02 02:39:24 AM

Evenbiggerknickers: well, that was a very scary to listen. I don't think I can go to sleep now.

/boys are supposed to be outside digging ditches?


Funny thing is, from what I remember of my school history, digging ditches was a mediaeval "dog-whistle" phrase used by opponents of King Edward II to hint that he was gay.
There is a source that says something like (paraphrase) "He didn't like manly sports such as jousting and hunting, but preferred digging ditches and cutting hedges".
Sort of a Dark Ages way of saying he's an uphill gardener.

I found a link
 
2012-05-02 02:41:28 AM
Seriously, subby, was the obvious tag out for a smoke break or something?
 
2012-05-02 02:43:50 AM
♪ ♫ Jesus loves me. This I know. ♪ ♫

♪ ♫ By the way He breaks my bones.♪ ♫
 
2012-05-02 02:47:24 AM
I seem to recall something about a millstone being put around one's neck and being thrown into the sea as a punishment for something, but gosh, it's all so vague and I can't really bring to mind who said it, exactly.
 
2012-05-02 02:48:35 AM

The Southern Dandy: uber humper: The Southern Dandy: OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: I am roman catholic but this guy is nuts. We aren't like this. Known of my family or friends care about homosexuality. I might not like or understand it but it's not my problem or concern. Whatever makes you happy do it. I don't care. Get married and have happy times. Any call to violence in the name of religion is not religion. It's violence. Somebody punch that pastor. He's not a pastor. He thinks he is but I promise he's not.

A Catholic oughta know. Catholicism and violence go together like Ted Haggard and teenage boys.

When? Who the Fark is Ted Haggard?

What do you mean "when?"? When are Catholics violent? If you haven't been smacked with a yardstick by a nun, you can't really call yourself Catholic.


I paid the biatch/nun to swat me on the ass. So, WTF? She dressed like one. It's the same right? She forgave my deeds.
 
2012-05-02 02:48:48 AM
Here's the whole sermon, just in case you thought there might be some kind of reasonable context for this filthy perversion.

Link
 
2012-05-02 02:50:04 AM
Ummm....my Southern Baptist father used to punch the shiat out of me and I'm still a flaming queer.

Go fark yourself!
 
2012-05-02 03:06:05 AM

digitalpirate: Ummm....my Southern Baptist father used to punch the shiat out of me and I'm still a flaming queer.

Go fark yourself!


That would actually be a really good campaign to start. A bunch of gay adults talking about how their religious parents beat them as this pastor suggests.
 
2012-05-02 03:07:11 AM
Advanced method for those who want sex changes:

i651.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-02 03:08:14 AM
I wholeheartedly endorse this preacher's ideas.

After all, if your toddler is gonna grow up to be a cocksucker, he can damn well act manly while he's doing it.
 
2012-05-02 03:08:57 AM
also interesting to note that the website for this monstrosity's church website somehow mysteriously has disabled the Contact Us page. can't imagine how that coincidence could occur.
 
2012-05-02 03:13:18 AM
I'm conflicted. On the one hand, I don't think you actually can beat the gay out of a kid. On the other hand, I'm a proponent of toddler-punching. What a dilemma!
 
2012-05-02 03:14:52 AM

The Southern Dandy: OMG! We're All Gonna Die!: I am roman catholic but this guy is nuts. We aren't like this. Known of my family or friends care about homosexuality. I might not like or understand it but it's not my problem or concern. Whatever makes you happy do it. I don't care. Get married and have happy times. Any call to violence in the name of religion is not religion. It's violence. Somebody punch that pastor. He's not a pastor. He thinks he is but I promise he's not.

A Catholic oughta know. Catholicism and violence go together like Ted Haggard and teenage boys.


Are you one of those people that thinks that just because they type something it must be true? Am I becoming one of those people that asks questions I already know the answer to?

Apparently...
 
2012-05-02 03:16:33 AM
You know, if I heard this guy was ripped apart by reavenous wolves, I'd probably throw a party.
 
2012-05-02 03:16:36 AM
I was worried my toddler might be gay, so I stuck him in the baby smasher.

www.stickergiant.com
 
2012-05-02 03:19:20 AM

tafka: You know, if I heard this guy was ripped apart by reavenous wolves, I'd probably throw a party.


Thank you for revealing yourself as a horrible human being who takes visceral pleasure in the physical, agonizing suffering of a fellow human being.

/welcome to the club
 
2012-05-02 03:20:11 AM

GhostFish: The idealization of manliness that these weirdos keep advocating is oddly homoerotic.

And it's in no way antithetical to homosexuality. There are plenty of bears, leatherdaddies, and gaybros out there. They can like sports, musclecars, working with powertools, and farking other dudes.


He's confusing transgender-ism (if I may nounify it that way) with homosexuality. You and I (and most of the other people in this thread, thank FSM) understand that they are two different things, because we aren't completely idiotic cockleberries. Sean Harris, on the other hand, is the stupidist cockleberry to ever cockle a berry, so one would expect him to be confused about the color of the sky, much less the marvelous intricities of human sexuality.

Most people, even most homophobes these days, understand that that being gender-variant and being homosexual are two different things. But some people are stupid and ignorant even by those rather forgiving standards.

I actually rather like the terms "androphilia" and "gynephilia" when used to describe sexual orientation, by the way. I think that they're useful enough we should consider using them instead of "homosexual" and "heterosexual."
 
2012-05-02 03:22:22 AM

Gyrfalcon: Bet this f*cker rapes his daughter son.


FTFY
 
2012-05-02 03:29:03 AM

eddiesocket: AverageAmericanGuy: I hate it when people use "male" and "female" as nouns.

They're not nouns?


They are, but one can still dislike the usage. It's rather like using "they" as a gender-neural pronoun: it's perfectly cromulent, yet one might wish there were a better alternative. Boy, girl, man, and woman are all limited to specific ages; it's too unwieldy to say "boy or man" or "girl or woman" over and over again, just as "he or she" becomes wearisome. So we're stuck using them because the alternatives are worse.
 
2012-05-02 03:31:29 AM

Just_a_Bear: also interesting to note that the website for this monstrosity's church website somehow mysteriously has disabled the Contact Us page. can't imagine how that coincidence could occur.


An act of god, perhaps?
 
2012-05-02 03:31:58 AM
Joke's on him - Jesus was gay. Seriously, if you read the bible knowing that up front, it makes a lot more sense. Guy's got long hair and wears a dress, calls himself a 'fisher of men' and hangs out with a dozen dudes he picked up at the docks? Love your neighbor like your brother? Dude was a fairy. God made him that way on purpose so that we would think he was a loveable diety.
 
2012-05-02 03:35:17 AM
What I find worse then the pastor is all the people in the background laughing and in general supporting him. Sad.
 
2012-05-02 03:39:35 AM
Britney Spear's Speculum: Where is your god now?

Gothnet: At the Gay Bar?


Great. And now He's going to start a nuclear war.
 
2012-05-02 03:42:33 AM

MaliFinn: Joke's on him - Jesus was gay. Seriously, if you read the bible knowing that up front, it makes a lot more sense. Guy's got long hair and wears a dress, calls himself a 'fisher of men' and hangs out with a dozen dudes he picked up at the docks? Love your neighbor like your brother? Dude was a fairy. God made him that way on purpose so that we would think he was a loveable diety.


You may think that's just a joke but there are certain passages in the New Testament that have been interpreted as Jesus taking male lovers... and that's the fiercely edited account of things.

I bet Jebus sucked a mean dick.

awwwww yeeeeaaahhhh....

/here to help
 
2012-05-02 03:43:06 AM

Gyrfalcon: Transcript, if you can't stomach listening to that revolting garbage:

TRANSCRIPT: "So your little son starts to act a little girlish when he is four years old and instead of squashing that like a cockroach and saying, "Man up, son, get that dress off you and get outside and dig a ditch, because that is what boys do," you get out the camera and you start taking pictures of Johnny acting like a female and then you upload it to YouTube and everybody laughs about it and the next thing you know, this dude, this kid is acting out childhood fantasies that should have been squashed.
Can I make it any clearer? Dads, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there and crack that wrist. Man up. Give him a good punch. Ok? You are not going to act like that. You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male. And when your daughter starts acting to Butch you reign her in. And you say, "Oh, no, sweetheart. You can play sports. Play them to the glory of God. But sometimes you are going to act like a girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up."
You say, "Can I take charge like that as a parent?"
Yeah, you can. You are authorized. I just gave you a special dispensation this morning to do that."

Bet this f*cker rapes his daughter.


I was totally thinking the same thing. I had braced myself to hear some hateful derp, but when he said it's necessary to command that a daughter "smell like a girl", my rape-dar went crazy. Total squick.
 
2012-05-02 03:49:35 AM

MaliFinn: Joke's on him - Jesus was gay. Seriously, if you read the bible knowing that up front, it makes a lot more sense. Guy's got long hair and wears a dress, calls himself a 'fisher of men' and hangs out with a dozen dudes he picked up at the docks? Love your neighbor like your brother? Dude was a fairy. God made him that way on purpose so that we would think he was a loveable diety.


Actually, it's much more likely that the person you're referring to had short hair.
 
2012-05-02 03:53:45 AM

Gyrfalcon: Transcript, if you can't stomach listening to that revolting garbage:

TRANSCRIPT: "So your little son starts to act a little girlish when he is four years old and instead of squashing that like a cockroach and saying, "Man up, son, get that dress off you and get outside and dig a ditch, because that is what boys do," you get out the camera and you start taking pictures of Johnny acting like a female and then you upload it to YouTube and everybody laughs about it and the next thing you know, this dude, this kid is acting out childhood fantasies that should have been squashed.
Can I make it any clearer? Dads, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there and crack that wrist. Man up. Give him a good punch. Ok? You are not going to act like that. You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male. And when your daughter starts acting to Butch you reign her in. And you say, "Oh, no, sweetheart. You can play sports. Play them to the glory of God. But sometimes you are going to act like a girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up."
You say, "Can I take charge like that as a parent?"
Yeah, you can. You are authorized. I just gave you a special dispensation this morning to do that."

Bet this f*cker rapes his daughter.


Wow. Guess he got into the Jesus juice that morning. The ego on this guy is staggering.
 
2012-05-02 04:39:23 AM

ciberido: eddiesocket: AverageAmericanGuy: I hate it when people use "male" and "female" as nouns.

They're not nouns?

They are, but one can still dislike the usage. It's rather like using "they" as a gender-neural pronoun: it's perfectly cromulent, yet one might wish there were a better alternative. Boy, girl, man, and woman are all limited to specific ages; it's too unwieldy to say "boy or man" or "girl or woman" over and over again, just as "he or she" becomes wearisome. So we're stuck using them because the alternatives are worse.


there is often comments on fark regarding how the press uses gender terms according to whether someone is being viewed as the victim or the perpetrator. and yes age is often a factor but it seems to muddy the waters as the choice of word used seems to be an attempt to sway opinion. IMHO people in news reports should be identified by their age and simply whether they are male or female. many readers will have their own preconceived notions based on their own age.
 
2012-05-02 05:56:42 AM

Bathia_Mapes: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Bathia_Mapes: Evenbiggerknickers: /boys are supposed to be outside digging ditches?

Four year old boys at that.

This piece of garbage is actively advocating wholesale child abuse.

Face it; you need to be pretty much on the way to completely farked to be in this guy's job in the first place

/this guy is no longer just on the way
//achievement unlocked

Too bad he can't be arrested and locked away for advocating that people break the law.


In Australia he could be arrested for inciting hatred.
 
2012-05-02 05:59:52 AM
deedtheinky.com
 
2012-05-02 06:04:32 AM
Bathia_Mapes:

You ever wake up with a word stuck in your head for some reason? Maybe it was a leftover from a dream or something but, like an 'earworm', ya just can't seem to get it out of your head?

For some reason, I woke up yesterday with "Bathia Mapes" stuck in my mind, so I'll just say "Curse you!" now.
 
2012-05-02 06:06:31 AM
Was the "sick" tag cowering under a bed when this was submitted?

/absolutely disgusted.
//furious, too.
///and sickened.
 
2012-05-02 06:11:42 AM
The sad thing is that young people get caught up with these hateful yawlers.

What happened to good old teenage rebellion? When I and most of my peers were TEN we figured that religious parents were full of shiat. Why are kids so stupid these days to buy this knuckle-dragging fundie crap?

Hell, it's needed even more now, with the politicians that pander to dumb asses that are in power.
 
2012-05-02 06:11:57 AM
Jesus' command was "Suffer little children", not "Suffer, little children".
 
2012-05-02 06:12:37 AM
Hooray for freedom of religion and freedom of speech! Allowing crazy people to publically identify themselves for over 200 years.
 
2012-05-02 06:21:20 AM
I bet he gives the best BJs
 
2012-05-02 06:40:58 AM
30.media.tumblr.com

Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
 
2012-05-02 06:42:53 AM
Only a homosexual would say something like that.
 
2012-05-02 06:51:45 AM

uber humper: Britney Spear's Speculum: uber humper: Oh god, this headline is built for the Molested Farker tm

/not believer
//but I think atheists are crazier thank believers
//me I don't give a fark what you think... even if an atheist and/or priest fark you in the arse.

What is this I don't even.

Don't even what? Understand that this is from some guy who was farked up the ass by a priest?


So that implicates atheists as crazy... how?

"Believe in God!"

"Uh, no, show me evidence"

"Damn you crazy atheists!"

It just doesn't logically follow.
 
2012-05-02 06:58:36 AM
So, the first step to ensuring your kid is straight is to beat out of them any idea that girls are good?
 
2012-05-02 07:00:12 AM

Fast Moon: So, the first step to ensuring your kid is straight is to beat out of them any idea that girls are good?


Of course not. You should use your words, not your fists, to remove any idea they might have that girls are good.
 
2012-05-02 07:04:14 AM
The Roman Catholic church suggests a donkey punch. That is all.
 
2012-05-02 07:12:01 AM
Hmm, I thought being gay was a choice? Seems like this pastor is suggesting that gay 'behavior' begins happening at a really young age before they can be influenced by 'culture'. Can someone please tell me what I am supposed to believe here?!?!?!
 
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