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(nooga.com)   Responsible journalism at its finest: Five Chattanooga locations to snipe people from if I were a sniper, which I'm not   (nooga.com) divider line 81
    More: Asinine, Chattanooga, lists of places, snipers, Tennessee River, accessibilities  
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6716 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2012 at 11:25 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-01 07:21:46 PM
Totally irresponsible journalism, for two reasons:

(1) Someone could use that information to play sniper.
(2) The author totally overlooked:
(a) The top of the EPB building parking garage, which has outstanding sniper potential, especially during the Friday evening free concert series.
(b) The small park at the top of Cameron Hill, which has a clean line of sight into the Lookouts minor league baseball field.
 
2012-05-01 07:42:44 PM

JeffreyScott: Totally irresponsible journalism, for two reasons:

(1) Someone could use that information to play sniper.
(2) The author totally overlooked:
(a) The top of the EPB building parking garage, which has outstanding sniper potential, especially during the Friday evening free concert series.
(b) The small park at the top of Cameron Hill, which has a clean line of sight into the Lookouts minor league baseball field.


Um, the Aquarium, duh. *SPLASH*
 
2012-05-01 08:34:45 PM
I'm better with proximity mines in The Complex.
 
2012-05-01 09:00:07 PM
FARKing campers.
 
2012-05-01 09:26:16 PM
You'd be doing someone a favor by killing them in Chattanooga.
 
2012-05-01 09:27:39 PM
i23.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-01 09:38:15 PM
Meh. Unimportant information.

I have a couple of rabbits on retainer who do the killing for me. I tell them something about the target that will get them very angry. Then you're as good as dead once you get in the middle of the cross hares.
 
2012-05-01 09:54:38 PM
OK, I'm going to need a cross reference for nearby liquor stores

/there's a quart of bourbon involved in my plan
 
2012-05-01 10:01:46 PM
So they sent the reporter on a...

(sunglasses)

...snipe hunt.


YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
 
2012-05-01 10:48:36 PM
What I've heard the people are looking for is a piece on good place to dispose of bodies that have been hit with sniper rounds.
 
2012-05-01 10:49:00 PM
The author forgot:

1) Across the street from the Choices Pregnancy Resource Center
2) The Unitarian Universalist Church in Chatanooga
3) And of course anywhere that a Democrat is in public
 
2012-05-01 11:26:45 PM
Visit Rock City and they say you can shoot five states.
 
2012-05-01 11:28:18 PM
Didn't the US publish a list of the sites that Russia would likely bomb first in a nuclear war?

/I heard Russia got a copy and said "thanks!"
 
2012-05-01 11:28:51 PM

Silly Jesus: Um, the Aquarium, duh. *SPLASH*


I'm honestly surprised that this wasn't #1. It's the perfect position for it.
 
2012-05-01 11:39:51 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: 1) Across the street from the Choices Pregnancy Resource Center
2) The Unitarian Universalist Church in Chatanooga
3) And of course anywhere that a Democrat is in public


You've got it all wrong. You just spew intentionally inflammatory rhetoric, and then you act all surprised when someone like George Tiller or Greg McKendry dies. Then, you disavow the murderer before you continue spewing the same rhetoric.
 
2012-05-01 11:42:06 PM

elvisaintdead: Visit Rock City and they say you can shoot five states.


Well, if you're going to be expanding this to stuff on Lookout Mountain, you could snipe a lot of people from the top of the tower at Covenant College. And the chapel roof...
 
2012-05-01 11:43:24 PM
Are you farking kidding me? I even know the dude that wrote this. I can't believe he's that idiotic.
 
2012-05-01 11:46:08 PM

megalynn44: Are you farking kidding me? I even know the dude that wrote this. I can't believe he's that idiotic.


shiat on his doorstep!
 
2012-05-01 11:46:23 PM
Der Homeland Zeecurity already has their spots picked out for controlling the local populace.
 
2012-05-01 11:46:47 PM

GAT_00: You'd be doing someone a favor by killing them in Chattanooga.


Boo
 
2012-05-01 11:49:48 PM

elvisaintdead: Visit Rock City and they say you can shoot five states.


I lived there. You could pick people off all day from the Missionary Ridge tunnel. And in any number of places along I-75 or on the road up Signal Mountain. And now someone probably will.
 
2012-05-01 11:50:43 PM
How about clock towers?

You can get a lot of good work done with a decent clock tower.
 
2012-05-01 11:50:51 PM

OregonVet: FARKing campers.


That's funny. Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't pathetic because he was a patsy, but because he was a camper. If only someone could have played a TF2 spy and taken him out.
 
2012-05-01 11:50:55 PM

Mugato: [i23.photobucket.com image 580x340]


Is that a cleaned up image?
 
2012-05-01 11:53:09 PM

neuroflare: megalynn44: Are you farking kidding me? I even know the dude that wrote this. I can't believe he's that idiotic.

shiat on his doorstep!


Where does he live? Send him a list of places you can snipe his house from. Just as a hypothetical exercise, of course.
 
2012-05-01 11:54:37 PM
A. You must have easy access to this location (i.e., no locked buildings or places that require criminal activity to access).

Yeah, because god forbid you engage in criminal activity on your way to MURDER SOMEONE.
 
2012-05-01 11:55:41 PM
Next up: innocuous undetectable poison made from easy to obtain chemicals you can put in the water reservoir and the unlocked gate that leads to it, bonus section on the security guard's time to read comics while sitting on the john.
 
2012-05-02 12:00:14 AM
Complain all you want, but this.could be life saving information when the zombie apocalypse comes.
 
2012-05-02 12:04:53 AM
Where's the best location to sprint around wielding double shotguns?
 
2012-05-02 12:05:03 AM
Lookout mountain didn't make the list? Come on you can see three states from up there.
 
2012-05-02 12:05:08 AM

fusillade762: Where does he live? Send him a list of places you can snipe his house from. Just as a hypothetical exercise, of course.


I dunno, I'm in Tempe. Fantastic idea though.
 
2012-05-02 12:11:00 AM
Keep posting, the DHS is watching this thread.
 
2012-05-02 12:12:07 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Complain all you want, but this.could be life saving information when the zombie apocalypse comes.


Can you shoot zombies to death? Don't they just pop up again?
 
2012-05-02 12:13:48 AM
I think the DC snipers showed us that a mobile snipers nest is far more effective in causing terror in the populace.

Imagine if the 9/11 terrorists had gone the DC sniper route. About 10 mobile sniper teams, moving from city to city. It would have taken days to realize we were under attack, and they could have gone silent for a few days before renewing the attacks.

They might not have caused the same body counts, but in post incident analysis we know they could have killed thousands more by hitting the towers lower.
 
2012-05-02 12:15:36 AM
If you're a cop than anywhere on MLK during the Strut seems to be a popular fantasy sniper's nest.
 
2012-05-02 12:16:03 AM
Nooga, please.
 
2012-05-02 12:16:03 AM
...if I were a sniper...

Correct use of the subjunctive mood there, subby +1
 
2012-05-02 12:23:39 AM
 
2012-05-02 12:27:23 AM
My personal favorite thing in the post:

Ground Rules.

Sure, if you were going to kill someone, via sniping, The last thing you would want to do would be to "brake any laws or criminal activity" Really??

I think we might have a future darwin nominee...
 
2012-05-02 12:27:39 AM
I was going to say you could snipe people by climbing way up in the girders of the walking bridge, but I think that bridge is more for lynching people than sniping.
 
2012-05-02 12:28:28 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: OK, I'm going to need a cross reference for nearby liquor stores

/there's a quart of bourbon involved in my plan


Only a quart? Wouldn't you still be shaking after that little?
 
2012-05-02 12:33:09 AM

Luminiferous Aether: MaudlinMutantMollusk: OK, I'm going to need a cross reference for nearby liquor stores

/there's a quart of bourbon involved in my plan

Only a quart? Wouldn't you still be shaking after that little?


That's just for gettin' thirsty on the tower

/traveler
 
2012-05-02 12:38:07 AM
I'm crouched on the hilltop outside your house right now wearing a ghillie suit. Go to the window and check. You can't see me, but I'm there.
 
2012-05-02 12:39:30 AM

Aussie_As: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Complain all you want, but this.could be life saving information when the zombie apocalypse comes.

Can you shoot zombies to death? Don't they just pop up again?


Rule #2: Double Tap
 
2012-05-02 12:40:45 AM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: I'm crouched on the hilltop outside your house right now wearing a ghillie suit. Go to the window and check. You can't see me, but I'm there.


Hey, In vegas people pay good money for that level of dedication!
 
2012-05-02 12:42:56 AM
Out the window of my office at my last job, there was a water tower off in the distance that wasn't too far from the highway. I often sat and wondered how many people I could take out without them not having any idea where the shots were coming from.
 
2012-05-02 12:46:49 AM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: I'm crouched on the hilltop outside your house right now wearing a ghillie suit. Go to the window and check. You can't see me, but I'm there.


I'd better tell my neighbor there's a crazy man on their balcony because there sure as hell isn't a hill near me
 
2012-05-02 12:50:35 AM
Nooga.com? That is seriously the name of their news website? Good FSM almighty.
I've always dislike NoCal, and SoCal, and Nola. There must be more. Nooga is up there with the worst.
It's like something you would hork up.
 
2012-05-02 12:53:52 AM

I_Am_Weasel: Meh. Unimportant information.

I have a couple of rabbits on retainer who do the killing for me. I tell them something about the target that will get them very angry. Then you're as good as dead once you get in the middle of the cross hares.


30.media.tumblr.com

What killer rabbits on retainer might look like.
 
2012-05-02 12:58:12 AM

austin_millbarge: I_Am_Weasel: Meh. Unimportant information.

I have a couple of rabbits on retainer who do the killing for me. I tell them something about the target that will get them very angry. Then you're as good as dead once you get in the middle of the cross hares.

[30.media.tumblr.com image 500x281]

What killer rabbits on retainer might look like.


i486.photobucket.com
I got a solution to that.
 
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