This makes it easier to find a skank to bang in the lavatory.

REJECTED

I always wonder about those two sets of window seats in the middle of larger planes that have their own private curtain.

I wonder if anyone will make Airplane! jokes in this thread.

All I really care is that the person next to me is not fat and does not smell horrible.

But I wouldn't say know to a hot young lady in a miniskirt.

Rapmaster2000: This makes it easier to find a skank to bang in the lavatory.

/THIS

Jument: All I really care is that the person next to me is not fat and does not smell horrible. and does not have kids

But I wouldn't say know to a hot young lady in a miniskirt.



There added a bit more.

Reminds me of that "win a Chance to be on Virgin's First Spaceflight and sit near a Super Model!" thing that was going on. Hrmm being subjected to bad gas on a flight is fairly bad, not sure you could place yourself far enough from The Man Who Ate Curry for it to matter.

Interesting experiment in game theory. A reasonably attractive person like myself would be able to pick among the top and be reasonably accommodated. But someone of perhaps lesser appearance might be willing to settle for any comers.

Unfortunately for him, 'any comers' is likely to result in homely women rather than comely ones. So it makes sense for him to try to maximize his chances of getting a good looking partner by choosing out of his attractiveness class. However on an individual basis the rules force each person to select upwards, breaking harmony for everyone.

This dilutes my chances somewhat and with more men choosing above their scale, the higher the likelihood any of us end up with a fatty.

It makes more sense for all unattractive people to select others who are similarly unattractive in order to keep everything well balanced.

About the same could go wrong as the person who announced their house party on Facebook, or my step-daughter who announced to all her Facebook "friends" that she needed someone to join us on a family vacation when we had one extra seat/bed to spare.

What was it? Over 3,000 people showed up that that party? In our case, the biggest pain in the ass acquaintance/co-worker of my step-daughter joined us for a week and all but ruined the trip for us all.

I like this for several reasons:

1. You can pick the hottie you want to sit next to. (Obvious choice.)
2. You can avoid sitting next to fatty.
3. You can pick the person that you can mostly likely annoy by reclining your seat.

#NoFatChicks

AverageAmericanGuy: Interesting experiment in game theory. A reasonably attractive person like myself would be able to pick among the top and be reasonably accommodated. But someone of perhaps lesser appearance might be willing to settle for any comers.

Unfortunately for him, 'any comers' is likely to result in homely women rather than comely ones. So it makes sense for him to try to maximize his chances of getting a good looking partner by choosing out of his attractiveness class. However on an individual basis the rules force each person to select upwards, breaking harmony for everyone.

This dilutes my chances somewhat and with more men choosing above their scale, the higher the likelihood any of us end up with a fatty.

It makes more sense for all unattractive people to select others who are similarly unattractive in order to keep everything well balanced.

Stupid iPhone input box. The However on an individual basis sentence should come at the end, not the middle.

I'd like to meet and seat Emily Blunt. Am I doing it right you guys? You know I mean sex, right?

Indeed...



/Hot

I like well aged soft cheeses, curry and Hungarian cooking, extra spicy. But it's OK because I mask any potential odors with an extra helping of cologne.


\how to get an empty seat next to your window seat
\\except when you get a "wow, me too"

So I guess before my summer trip to Europe I should create a social profile on 4chan?

Meet and Seat

I like it, sounds too easy though

wademh: I like well aged soft cheeses, curry and Hungarian cooking, extra spicy. But it's OK because I mask any potential odors with an extra helping of cologne.


\how to get an empty seat next to your window seat
\\except when you get a "wow, me too"

You can also just suddenly weigh 500+ pounds and work in fish processing. Don't think you'll get too many takers on either.

How YOU doin'?

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: REJECTED

I've tried using airbnb a few times, and even though my profile is that of a reasonable, semi-presentable, 50 year old man, absolutely no one is interested in renting their place to me.

Yet lots of rentals to attractive 20-30 somethings.

I enjoy liver, fava beans and a nice chianti.

Warlordtrooper: Jument: All I really care is that the person next to me is not fat and does not smell horrible. and does not have kids

But I wouldn't say know to a hot young lady in a miniskirt.



There added a bit more.

How often are children on a plane a problem for you?

I don't feel the need for this. In fact, I'm quite sure that I would never use a service like this. I don't ride an airplane to make friends. I have enough friends already. I don't want to make small talk. In fact, I'd prefer no talking at all. The only qualities I want in the person sitting next to me - don't be large, don't smell, don't make weird noises, don't try to talk to me. If the person sitting next to me tries to make conversation, I just give them a half-smile and shrug my shoulders like I don't quite understand them.

Sounds like a good way for me to keep the seat next to me open - create a fake profile and upload a picture of a fatty. Say you have bad gas when you fly.

ProfessorOhki: I wonder if anyone will make Airplane! jokes in this thread.

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he
glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat.
Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a
conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned,
smiled and said,

"Business, The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen,
sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,

"What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded.

"I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about
sexuality."
"Really," he said. "What myths are those?"
"Well," she explained. "One popular myth is that African American men
are the best endowed, when in fact, it's the Native American Indian who
is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers,

when actually it is the men of Jewish descent.
"We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all
categories is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a
little uncomfortable and blushed.

"I'm sorry." she said. "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you.
I don't even know your name." "Tonto," the man said.

"Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."

WhippingBoy: I like pina coladas. And getting caught in the rain.

I recently flew with Rupert Holmes so I'm getting a kick...

Ya know, I think I could be wildly popular if I did this:

Middle aged lady who:

Is travelling without a child.
Knows how to stow luggage.
Took a shower this morning.
Wants to quietly read a book or knit.
Only takes up one seat, not two.

Not every traveler wants a celeb or a pick-up. Sometimes they just want to be left the hell alone.

Gyrfalcon: Why did anyone bother to post after this?

Gyrfalcon: Mr. Coffee Nerves: This is awesome! I'm sure the girl I'm sitting next to really *is* a Victoria's Secret model/Swedish Olympic Team gymnast who wrote her Doctoral Thesis on how to suck the color out of a marble!

What are the odds that she's really a 475-pounder with a face that looks like a grease fire someone put out with a rusty rake and she's going to stay up all night before the flight eating broccoli and Nuclear Death Chili and just won't have the time to shower before heading out because her triplets have a stomach virus that makes them go off from each end with such force they spin like a lawn sprinkler?

Why did anyone bother to post after this?

well you just did, so there's that

I don't give a fark who I sit next to, as long as there are no babies on the plane that farkING SCREAM FOR 14 HOURS STRAIGHT GODDAMN IT.

/had to get that off my chest
//happens every farking time I get on a plane

Contents Under Pressure: Not every traveler wants a celeb or a pick-up. Sometimes they just want to be left the hell alone.

I was recently on a flight from LAX to Narita and Billy Blanks was aboard. After taking some souvenir photos with him, I fully expected to never see him again. After we landed in Narita, I was waiting by the luggage carousel and Blanks comes over and starts talking to me.

You live in Japan? I been here a couple years, you know. Live out in Osaka with my wife. Oh, you're married to a Japanese lady too? That's cool. What kind of work you do? Yeah, I'm coming out with a new DVD this June. It's out in the US. PT 24/7. You hear about it? Oh yeah, it's on the web, check it out.

Dude. This is a luggage carousel, not a singles bar.

Not every celeb wants to be left alone.

Contents Under Pressure: Ya know, I think I could be wildly popular if I did this:

Middle aged lady who:

Is travelling without a child.
Knows how to stow luggage.
Took a shower this morning.
Wants to quietly read a book or knit.
Only takes up one seat, not two.

Not every traveler wants a celeb or a pick-up. Sometimes they just want to be left the hell alone.

Could I convince you to sit next to me on say every flight I have to ever take? Seriously among the heavy business travelers I imagine that'd be about their pick of preferred traits.

There's really three kinds of baby screams.

The hunger cry - not so bad. In a way it's kind of cute.
The diaper cry - starts out okay but gets worse the longer the baby is allowed to cry. Made worse by the smell.
The whine - babies who do this should be stuffed in the rear lavatories and left there until the flight ends.

Colicky babies excel at the whine.

Whoever developed this was listening to Ron White's act. He was commenting on how people can now pick which seat they want to fly on, and remarks that it'd be a great idea if it came with a picture and a short bio of who you were seated next to...

MrEricSir: I don't give a fark who I sit next to, as long as there are no babies on the plane that farkING SCREAM FOR 14 HOURS STRAIGHT GODDAMN IT.

/had to get that off my chest
//happens every farking time I get on a plane

Even if it's a two hour flight?

Just buy the adjoining seats and you can lie down for the trip, and you don't have to interact with anyone.

cig-mkr: Just buy the adjoining seats and you can lie down for the trip, and you don't have to interact with anyone.

International business class has lay-flat seats. Each seat is positioned at a diagonal with a wall separating each row.

It's very nice. The reading light and power outlets are a nice touch.

flyinglizard: Even if it's a two hour flight?

Feels like it... though to be honest I haven't taken a 2 hour flight in years. Hardly seems worth the hassle of the airport to spend a mere 2 hours on a plane.

MrEricSir: I don't give a fark who I sit next to, as long as there are no babies on the plane that farkING SCREAM FOR 14 HOURS STRAIGHT GODDAMN IT.

/had to get that off my chest
//happens every farking time I get on a plane

I've been on many flights where infants were passengers. I have never had one cry for more than 20 minutes. It's you. They are screaming because you are there. It's not them, nor their parent(s). Stay off any plane I'm on, please.

Be careful of what you wish for...

I was flying back from Hawaii and saw a very attractive woman coming down the aisle and thought to myself "Oh, maybe she'll sit next to me." Lo and behold, she did. But then I realized she stank, and stank BAD. Smelled like day old stale piss. Worst seven hours I've ever spent in a plane.