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(The Atlantic Wire)   Articles "for women" that should be banned, including everything between the covers of Cosmo   (theatlanticwire.com) divider line 287
    More: Obvious, Wonder Woman  
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17756 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2012 at 4:34 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-01 05:48:15 PM

Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: How to Land a Man in 5 Easy Steps

1. Don't have some sort of horrific mutation
2. Don't be grotesquely fat
3. Put a little effort into your appearance
4. Don't be a raging biatch
5. Put out

By following these 5 steps you can have your pick of 75% of available men.

I answer all these criteria and yet the guys I like aren't interested. They appreciate me, they value me, they tell me I'm "amazing" and "wonderful" but they just don't want to be with me.


Someone left out the all important #6:

6. Don't live in bum-fark-egypt (hey, close enough).
 
2012-05-01 05:48:29 PM
Regarding their criticism of the Forbes piece, Forbes does that about everything. Not just articles relating to women.

Bunch of crappy top ten lists on eye-catching topics in slideshow format showcasing questionable statistics used in a flawed analysis leading to faulty conclusions. It's Forbes' m.o.
 
2012-05-01 05:49:59 PM

Nogale: ph0rk: Nogale: There's no template. I don't care about looks, although I prefer that he be at least my height (5'7"). Has to be intelligent and well-informed, naturally curious with interests he's passionate about. Don't care about formal degrees. Prefer someone who's lived a slightly less than conventional life. Must be able to give me some space. No passive-aggressive types. It's best if he's in good shape, but I don't really care so long as he's not threatened by a woman who's in better condition than he is. Of course, there has to be mutual attraction, which is always an X factor.

heh.

Reminds me of someone I knew who'd only date men that were over 6', held a doctorate, and earned 6 figures. Also, they had to be runners.

You might have unrealistic standards. You know, that whole 7's pair with 7's and 9's with 9's thing.

Well, you're probably right. If I were willing to be with someone who was dumb and ignorant, couldn't hold an intelligent conversation, and whom I wasn't attracted to, I'd probably have many more choices.


Well, you want someone intelligent, interested in things you find interesting, assertive, in shape, and attractive.

Competition for those men will probably be pretty tough, unless you're a manic pixie girlfriend.
 
2012-05-01 05:50:35 PM
cf2.imgobject.com

"Chivalry died when women started readin' the shiat in all them magazines. They got too much advice about men from other women. And they don't know what the fark they're talkin' about. I see them in the grocery store, says on the cover "100 Ways to Please Your Man" by some lady. Come on, man. Ain't no 100 ways. That list is four things long. Just suck his dick, play with his balls,fix him a sandwich, and don't talk so much and he'll be happy!"
 
2012-05-01 05:50:47 PM

Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: How to Land a Man in 5 Easy Steps

1. Don't have some sort of horrific mutation
2. Don't be grotesquely fat
3. Put a little effort into your appearance
4. Don't be a raging biatch
5. Put out

By following these 5 steps you can have your pick of 75% of available men.

I answer all these criteria and yet the guys I like aren't interested. They appreciate me, they value me, they tell me I'm "amazing" and "wonderful" but they just don't want to be with me.

What kind of guys do you like?

Well, apparently the ones who don't like me ;-)

There's no template. I don't care about looks, although I prefer that he be at least my height (5'7"). Has to be intelligent and well-informed, naturally curious with interests he's passionate about. Don't care about formal degrees. Prefer someone who's lived a slightly less than conventional life. Must be able to give me some space. No passive-aggressive types. It's best if he's in good shape, but I don't really care so long as he's not threatened by a woman who's in better condition than he is. Of course, there has to be mutual attraction, which is always an X factor.


Have you offered to sleep with them? Men are pretty simple.
 
2012-05-01 05:51:04 PM

ph0rk: The hidden trick to productivity, of course, is happening to write papers that editors think are timely. Hard to plan for that.


when women who could not have passed their comprehensive exams, had the standards not lowered over the last twenty years, let alone "write quality papers" get positions while men with dozens of publications are hustled around from job to job each year, i tend to think there is something more going on than just productivity measuring. i'm not a fanatic misogynist like some scientists i know, i'm just saying that the support network built for women nowadays is substantial.
 
2012-05-01 05:51:27 PM
Sammiches making curiously absent from Cosmo man-pleasing lists.
 
2012-05-01 05:51:35 PM

Richard Flaccid: The only thing learned from that article is that Dakota Fanning has blossomed into a fine looking woman.


Who still makes you want punch her in the face...

/really wanted the Aliens to off her in War of the Worlds....
//soooooo badly.
 
2012-05-01 05:51:49 PM

xalres: Mr. Coffee Nerves: "Fun With Pronouns: Telling a story about your all-female office while never using an identifier other than 'She'"

Ms. (Miss? Mrs? Miss? Messr? MzZsissrS? I don't farking know)...

Anyway, Ms. X does the opposite. She'll sit there wracking her brain for minutes trying to remember the name of someone she's telling a story about even though I've never met them and likely never will. Just say Fred or Nancy and move on dammit, I won't know the difference.

Oh, and women need to stop playing "The suggestion game". You want us to do something, just tell us to. Don't pull the usual wishy-washy passive aggressive crap. What I've started doing to combat this is to be snarky and uncooperative until I get a real request out of her. Example:

Wiffey: "Hon, your shoes are on the floor."
Me: "Uh huh."
[30 minutes later]
Wiffey: "I thought I told you to pick up your shoes!"
Me: "No, you told me where they were. I was agreeing with you that they were on the floor. Did you want me to put them away?"
Wiffey: "Yes."
Me: "Okay." *puts shoes away*

It's slowly working.




Would you really want your wife to start getting blunt with you? Really ????

As a woman I do on occassions drop hints and the reason for this is because if I ask for things bluntly and to the point men don't like it. You say you want women to be to the point but you don't and you especially don't want women being to the point about all the things they grumble about under their breath.

A little thing to remember.

People act in a certain way because life has taught them that acting in that way produces better results or less stressful results than acting in another.
 
2012-05-01 05:52:14 PM

Nogale: Of course, there has to be mutual attraction, which is always an X factor.


There's your problem. From what I've figured out from my failed attempts at online dating, women want a greek-god hunk with hollywood good looks and a wallet the size of the empire state building. This is after they insist they are "down to earth" and "looking for a regular guy".
 
2012-05-01 05:52:30 PM

hailin: THIS! THIS! THIS! x1000

This is why I have trouble making solid girl friends. When they ask me for advice I'm blunt like this. I'm sorry, but if your boyfriend is doing something that bothers you so much it makes you angry enough to scheme and plot how to change them, then you need to get out and find another guy that doesn't do that thing you hate so much. If you were dumb enough to marry it, either divorce (drug abuse, violence, etc.) or get over yourself and decide it isn't a big deal (not putting laundry in the hamper, etc.).

Also never dictate projects need to be done. If I can't do it myself then I don't even attempt it. That way if he wants to help I appreciate it, but if not I can handle it. My husband hates painting and tiling, so I do all those things. He loves woodworking, so he usually wants to help with those projects. However, I know how to use every single power tool we own. Also women should learn how to do some basic household repairs and yardwork. My husband loves that I will just fix the leaky sink or deal with the furnace rather then burdening him the moment he comes through the door. Be self-sufficient. It is a much better mentality to appreciate your spouse for wanting to help you then resent them for not doing what you want them to do.


I would like my wife to subscribe to your newsletter.

/I'm still expected to gopher up and down stairs despite a very painful runner's knee
//Drama when i refuse
///Still a little bitter
 
2012-05-01 05:53:38 PM

OgreMagi: Nogale: Of course, there has to be mutual attraction, which is always an X factor.

There's your problem. From what I've figured out from my failed attempts at online dating, women want a greek-god hunk with hollywood good looks and a wallet the size of the empire state building. This is after they insist they are "down to earth" and "looking for a regular guy".


Right, and we're all asses for pointing it out.

That's okay, there are plenty of less deluded women out there.
 
2012-05-01 05:54:34 PM

Geotpf: proteus_b: ms. doll is getting bummed that people are directing general career advice towards women? really?

it seems to me that universities direct all kinds of resources specifically towards women, women's advancement, women's rape week, women' studies and so on. let's consider women's advancement groups---they are indeed a good thing, they organize meetings to help women learn how to use networking and whatever other skills to their advantage in order to build a solid career. granted, women do deal with different issues, in particular with respect to family, than men, so not all of the advice is necessarily universal, but from what i gather, 90% of what applies to the women also applies to the men. while this is great that universities thus help women to direct their careers in these trying times, why should men be excluded? but i'd bet dollars to donuts that ms. doll sat in such committees in her own uni days and had no problems with the nomenclature at the time.

I think there's two parts of this, at least stereotypically.

Part one is the theory that women aren't as assertive as men, and therefore are less likely to demand a raise or whatever, so they fall behind at work, never get promoted, and get to be the office dumping ground because they don't stand up for themselves as much as men do. I dunno if I buy this one, but it comes up a lot.

Part two is the fact that women still, both biologically and due to society's expectations, take more time to care for kids/ill parents/etc. Studies show that childless women tend to make as much, if not more, than men (once you account for job title, years of experience, degrees and certifications, etc.). But once they have kids, they fall behind, because first they take time off when pregnant and immediately afterwards, and then constantly have to take little Jimmy to the doctor's or soccer practice or whatever.


But but but... glass ceiling... the man... patriarchy -- it's because men look down on women and don't give them a fair chance, amirite? Any difference in outcomes HAS to be blamed on discrimination. It's the American way.
 
2012-05-01 05:54:41 PM

Guest: xalres: Mr. Coffee Nerves: "Fun With Pronouns: Telling a story about your all-female office while never using an identifier other than 'She'"

Ms. (Miss? Mrs? Miss? Messr? MzZsissrS? I don't farking know)...

Anyway, Ms. X does the opposite. She'll sit there wracking her brain for minutes trying to remember the name of someone she's telling a story about even though I've never met them and likely never will. Just say Fred or Nancy and move on dammit, I won't know the difference.

Oh, and women need to stop playing "The suggestion game". You want us to do something, just tell us to. Don't pull the usual wishy-washy passive aggressive crap. What I've started doing to combat this is to be snarky and uncooperative until I get a real request out of her. Example:

Wiffey: "Hon, your shoes are on the floor."
Me: "Uh huh."
[30 minutes later]
Wiffey: "I thought I told you to pick up your shoes!"
Me: "No, you told me where they were. I was agreeing with you that they were on the floor. Did you want me to put them away?"
Wiffey: "Yes."
Me: "Okay." *puts shoes away*

It's slowly working.



Would you really want your wife to start getting blunt with you? Really ????

As a woman I do on occassions drop hints and the reason for this is because if I ask for things bluntly and to the point men don't like it. You say you want women to be to the point but you don't and you especially don't want women being to the point about all the things they grumble about under their breath.

A little thing to remember.

PeopleMen act in a certain way because life has taught them that acting in that way produces better results or less stressful results than acting in another.


:)
 
2012-05-01 05:55:27 PM
How to "make him" do something.

Negative Reinforcement occurs when a behavior (response) is followed by the removal of an aversive stimulus, thereby increasing that behavior's frequency. In the Skinner box experiment, negative reinforcement can be a loud noise continuously sounding inside the rat's cage until it engages in the target behavior, such as pressing a lever, upon which the loud noise is removed.

Highly effective only until he's tired of putting up with your shiat.
 
2012-05-01 05:56:05 PM

Pee Wee Herman's Sock Drawer: Nickdude: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Whoever gave my wife the magazine with the articles "If his foot makes it the whole way over the front door threshold and you haven't started talking yet, then you've failed" and "Fun With Pronouns: Telling a story about your all-female office while never using an identifier other than 'She'" I'd like to thank you privately. In an alley. At 3:17AM. With a pillowcase full of doorknobs.

1) may i join you
and
2) do i have to provide my own doorknobs?

c) Pillowcase full of oranges (Nod goes to Angelica Huston) FTW


images2.wikia.nocookie.net

"..and if they give you any lip, you can beat them with a pillowcase full of sweeeet valencia oranges. It won't leave a bruise, and it will show 'em who's boss"
 
2012-05-01 05:59:39 PM

xalres: Mr. Coffee Nerves: "Fun With Pronouns: Telling a story about your all-female office while never using an identifier other than 'She'"

Ms. (Miss? Mrs? Miss? Messr? MzZsissrS? I don't farking know)...

Anyway, Ms. X does the opposite. She'll sit there wracking her brain for minutes trying to remember the name of someone she's telling a story about even though I've never met them and likely never will. Just say Fred or Nancy and move on dammit, I won't know the difference.

Oh, and women need to stop playing "The suggestion game". You want us to do something, just tell us to. Don't pull the usual wishy-washy passive aggressive crap. What I've started doing to combat this is to be snarky and uncooperative until I get a real request out of her. Example:

Wiffey: "Hon, your shoes are on the floor."
Me: "Uh huh."
[30 minutes later]
Wiffey: "I thought I told you to pick up your shoes!"
Me: "No, you told me where they were. I was agreeing with you that they were on the floor. Did you want me to put them away?"
Wiffey: "Yes."
Me: "Okay." *puts shoes away*

It's slowly working.


Combating passive aggression with passive aggression. Kudos.
 
2012-05-01 06:02:54 PM
For women, trying to improve someone they love is a caring nurturing thing to do. For men, these attempts are somewhere between annoying and disrespectful. So the whole thing starts with lots of potential for misunderstanding.
 
2012-05-01 06:03:40 PM

Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: How to Land a Man in 5 Easy Steps

1. Don't have some sort of horrific mutation
2. Don't be grotesquely fat
3. Put a little effort into your appearance
4. Don't be a raging biatch
5. Put out

By following these 5 steps you can have your pick of 75% of available men.

I answer all these criteria and yet the guys I like aren't interested. They appreciate me, they value me, they tell me I'm "amazing" and "wonderful" but they just don't want to be with me.

What kind of guys do you like?

Well, apparently the ones who don't like me ;-)

There's no template. I don't care about looks, although I prefer that he be at least my height (5'7"). Has to be intelligent and well-informed, naturally curious with interests he's passionate about. Don't care about formal degrees. Prefer someone who's lived a slightly less than conventional life. Must be able to give me some space. No passive-aggressive types. It's best if he's in good shape, but I don't really care so long as he's not threatened by a woman who's in better condition than he is. Of course, there has to be mutual attraction, which is always an X factor.



I love how you say that there's no template and then immediately start laying out a template. You're telling me you want a laundry list of status indicators and attributes, which hints very strongly at the notion that you're less interested in a relationship with a person and more interested in the notion of that kind of person being someone you can point to and tell everybody that he's yours.

In short, the guys you're trying to land probably feel like you're not interested in them personally and more interested in what they are or represent. People with half a brain should feel averse to that, because it's a giant red flag that just screams sociopath.

Not saying that you are, just informing you that you should probably reevaluate what it is you're really looking for so that you can set about finding it (or him) in a way that doesn't set off subconscious alarms in the person you're pursuing.
 
2012-05-01 06:07:38 PM
I'll admit, I barely skimmed that pile of vomit trying to pass as an article, and read quickly down comments here....as a female, I'll say this:

If you believe anything in any of those articles, you are a farkwad of the highest order

All women are not raging biatches

All men are not dick-led horn dogs

Women, use your mouth and your hands, NOT your teeth (unless asked)

Men, use your mouth and your hands, NOT your teeth (unless asked)

Women, ask what he likes, you can't read minds

Men, ask what she likes, you can't read minds

Women, you are NOT all that, put some effort into yourself and sex. But don't be a high maintenance whore

Men, you are NOT all that, put some effort into yourself and sex, but don't be a high maintenance whore

Women, stop being stupid

Women, stop expecting to be treated like a princess. You (most likely) are not a princess, and value yourself far too highly

Men are not doormats

Men are not your slave

It's give and take. Women, that does not mean "give when he's acted like a well trained puppy and did everything you want"

Women, every farkin random thought in your head does not need to be spoken

Men, more than a grunt once in a while is nice. Except for football. I can converse in football grunt. :)

Women, your man does not have to worship the ground you walk on and prove it every 15 seconds

And once again, WOMEN, if you believe one word of an article "for women" that is not from a medical journal and peer reviewed, fark off. Men don't need you.


That being said, as I've said on here many times before, I love men. All men. I don't need a hero, a daddy, a babysitter, a eunuch. Just a man. I'm sure as hell not perfect, don't expect them to be either.


/why yes, I am currently in the market....
//no, no, mine died.... *sad*
 
2012-05-01 06:07:53 PM

iq_in_binary: Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: How to Land a Man in 5 Easy Steps

1. Don't have some sort of horrific mutation
2. Don't be grotesquely fat
3. Put a little effort into your appearance
4. Don't be a raging biatch
5. Put out

By following these 5 steps you can have your pick of 75% of available men.

I answer all these criteria and yet the guys I like aren't interested. They appreciate me, they value me, they tell me I'm "amazing" and "wonderful" but they just don't want to be with me.

What kind of guys do you like?

Well, apparently the ones who don't like me ;-)

There's no template. I don't care about looks, although I prefer that he be at least my height (5'7"). Has to be intelligent and well-informed, naturally curious with interests he's passionate about. Don't care about formal degrees. Prefer someone who's lived a slightly less than conventional life. Must be able to give me some space. No passive-aggressive types. It's best if he's in good shape, but I don't really care so long as he's not threatened by a woman who's in better condition than he is. Of course, there has to be mutual attraction, which is always an X factor.


I love how you say that there's no template and then immediately start laying out a template. You're telling me you want a laundry list of status indicators and attributes, which hints very strongly at the notion that you're less interested in a relationship with a person and more interested in the notion of that kind of person being someone you can point to and tell everybody that he's yours.

In short, the guys you're trying to land probably feel like you're not interested in them personally and more interested in what they are or represent. People with half a brain should feel averse to that, because it's a giant red flag that just screams sociopath.

Not saying that you are, just informing you that you should probably reevaluate what it is you're really looking for so that you can set about findin ...


Besides the points you made, I bet this applies to her, as well.

chzdatingfails.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-05-01 06:18:11 PM

Nogale: Well, apparently the ones who don't like me ;-)

There's no template. I don't care about looks, although I prefer that he be at least my height (5'7"). Has to be intelligent and well-informed, naturally curious with interests he's passionate about. Don't care about formal degrees. Prefer someone who's lived a slightly less than conventional life. Must be able to give me some space. No passive-aggressive types. It's best if he's in good shape, but I don't really care so long as he's not threatened by a woman who's in better condition than he is. Of course, there has to be mutual attraction, which is always an X factor.


Well as others have noted, you might want to do some introspection and examine what you are really after. You start off saying there's no template, and then list a fairly specific template, one that could exclude a number of people.

However that aside, do you take the initiative to ask them out? This is the #1 problem I see from girls who "Can't get a guy." They believe it is 100% the man's responsibility to take the emotional risk of establishing first contact, making the move to ask them out, and so on. Thus the guys that ask them out, they don't seem to want, and the guys they do want don't know they do want them because they don't ever ask.

You can get lucky and a guy you like will ask you out. Happens to women every day. However you can also be unlucky and not have it happen. Stop relying on luck, make your own. Go and ask the guy out. If you aren't willing to take that emotional risk of rejection fair enough and I won't judge you for it, but you can't then complain that the guys you want don't notice you.
 
2012-05-01 06:18:31 PM
If you want a real text that will teach you how to please anyone (in bed), read Xaviera Hollander.
 
2012-05-01 06:20:08 PM

Trayal: /I'm still expected to gopher up and down stairs despite a very painful runner's knee
//Drama when i refuse
///Still a little bitter


Yeah, my husband has blown out both knees. Luckily we live in a ranch-style house with no stairs. I can carry 50-lbs. pretty easily from my car to the house. 60-70 if it isn't some awkward to carry package. If it is something heavier I get the wheelbarrow. If it is something REALLY heavy that requires two people my husband gets our neighbor and they do it, but that is very rare. I figure I can haul the little stuff and save his knees for the bigger stuff. Plus it is EXCELLENT exercise.
 
2012-05-01 06:21:47 PM
Women are basically whores and monsters. They can't help it.
 
2012-05-01 06:23:08 PM

sharkbeagle: Women are basically whores and monsters. They can't help it.


0/10
 
2012-05-01 06:23:08 PM
Re: Penis names.

Don't you give something (not inanimate) a name when you want it to come when you call it?

IE:S.O. (calls) Here (penis name).

Penis: Squirt.

Kind of a mood killer (IMHO)

just asking
 
2012-05-01 06:25:16 PM

sycraft: Nogale: Well, apparently the ones who don't like me ;-)

There's no template. I don't care about looks, although I prefer that he be at least my height (5'7"). Has to be intelligent and well-informed, naturally curious with interests he's passionate about. Don't care about formal degrees. Prefer someone who's lived a slightly less than conventional life. Must be able to give me some space. No passive-aggressive types. It's best if he's in good shape, but I don't really care so long as he's not threatened by a woman who's in better condition than he is. Of course, there has to be mutual attraction, which is always an X factor.

Well as others have noted, you might want to do some introspection and examine what you are really after. You start off saying there's no template, and then list a fairly specific template, one that could exclude a number of people.

However that aside, do you take the initiative to ask them out? This is the #1 problem I see from girls who "Can't get a guy." They believe it is 100% the man's responsibility to take the emotional risk of establishing first contact, making the move to ask them out, and so on. Thus the guys that ask them out, they don't seem to want, and the guys they do want don't know they do want them because they don't ever ask.

You can get lucky and a guy you like will ask you out. Happens to women every day. However you can also be unlucky and not have it happen. Stop relying on luck, make your own. Go and ask the guy out. If you aren't willing to take that emotional risk of rejection fair enough and I won't judge you for it, but you can't then complain that the guys you want don't notice you.


Well, the last guy I asked out (thanks to the prompting of Farkers, oddly enough) got back with his ex-girlfriend after our second date. Which would have been fine, if disappointing - I figure it had more to do with unfinished business between the two of them - but he wasn't up front about it.
 
2012-05-01 06:26:04 PM

KrispyKritter: if you shop in a supermarket you're aware there are at least 20 magazines at check-out competing for womens attention. almost always the same recycled material.

dig a little deeper and see they come from the same propaganda spewing media machines that bring America slanted journalism 24/7.

the rich & powerful have used divide and conquer, fear, hatred and other persuasions to keep the great unwashed unhappy with each other and their lot in life for a very long time. the sooner everyone wakes up to how deep and wide this control runs the sooner they will experience personal growth and find themselves on a much better life path.


Please do go on. And if you were to write a whole book of this, we could probably solve all the world's major problems in a month or so.
 
2012-05-01 06:29:54 PM

xalres: Mr. Coffee Nerves: "Fun With Pronouns: Telling a story about your all-female office while never using an identifier other than 'She'"

Ms. (Miss? Mrs? Miss? Messr? MzZsissrS? I don't farking know)...

Anyway, Ms. X does the opposite. She'll sit there wracking her brain for minutes trying to remember the name of someone she's telling a story about even though I've never met them and likely never will. Just say Fred or Nancy and move on dammit, I won't know the difference.

Oh, and women need to stop playing "The suggestion game". You want us to do something, just tell us to. Don't pull the usual wishy-washy passive aggressive crap. What I've started doing to combat this is to be snarky and uncooperative until I get a real request out of her. Example:

Wiffey: "Hon, your shoes are on the floor."
Me: "Uh huh."
[30 minutes later]
Wiffey: "I thought I told you to pick up your shoes!"
Me: "No, you told me where they were. I was agreeing with you that they were on the floor. Did you want me to put them away?"
Wiffey: "Yes."
Me: "Okay." *puts shoes away*

It's slowly working.


You just described my wife. Whenever she wants anything done, she drops little hints and expects me to figure out exactly what she's thinking, drop everything, and jump into action. I've told her that if she wants something, all she has to do is have the courtesy to treat me with some respect and ask.
 
2012-05-01 06:31:41 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: How to Land a Man in 5 Easy Steps

1. Don't have some sort of horrific mutation
2. Don't be grotesquely fat
3. Put a little effort into your appearance
4. Don't be a raging biatch
5. Put out

By following these 5 steps you can have your pick of 75% of available men.

I answer all these criteria and yet the guys I like aren't interested. They appreciate me, they value me, they tell me I'm "amazing" and "wonderful" but they just don't want to be with me.

What kind of guys do you like?


Rich ones.
 
2012-05-01 06:32:45 PM
It's just the old saw ladies, to keep your man happy
1)Be a lady in the living room
2) A cook in the kitchen
3) a whore in the bedroom

That is all
 
2012-05-01 06:33:51 PM

ph0rk: Reminds me of someone I knew who'd only date men that were over 6', held a doctorate, and earned 6 figures. Also, they had to be runners.


i meet all those standards, except for "runners". i run maybe once a week, does that count?
 
2012-05-01 06:33:52 PM

cig-mkr: It's just the old saw ladies, to keep your man happy
1)Be a lady in the living room
2) A cook in the kitchen
3) a whore in the bedroom

That is all


4. And don't nag.
 
2012-05-01 06:34:53 PM

ph0rk: sharkbeagle: Women are basically whores and monsters. They can't help it.

0/10


ZMugg: Re: Penis names.

Don't you give something (not inanimate) a name when you want it to come when you call it?

IE:S.O. (calls) Here (penis name).

Penis: Squirt.

Kind of a mood killer (IMHO)

just asking


Now THAT was a bizarre simulpost.
 
2012-05-01 06:35:38 PM

proteus_b: ph0rk: Reminds me of someone I knew who'd only date men that were over 6', held a doctorate, and earned 6 figures. Also, they had to be runners.

i meet all those standards, except for "runners". i run maybe once a week, does that count?


how YOU doin?


/oblig
 
2012-05-01 06:37:12 PM

cig-mkr: It's just the old saw ladies, to keep your man happy
1)Be a lady in the living room
2) A cook in the kitchen
3) a whore in the bedroom

That is all


Shouldn't you also add "Don't be an idiot?"

"You can't fix stupid"
 
2012-05-01 06:38:44 PM
/book marky
//on mobile
 
2012-05-01 06:39:07 PM

proteus_b: ph0rk: Reminds me of someone I knew who'd only date men that were over 6', held a doctorate, and earned 6 figures. Also, they had to be runners.

i meet all those standards, except for "runners". i run maybe once a week, does that count?


I think she wanted them under/around 30 too, FWIW.

This was 1.5-2 years ago. She is still single but was friend-with-benefiting a guy (who was, I guess, too short and too poor to make the grade. also a lawyer.) that is now dating someone from her circle, and she's not letting go well.

No one ever listens.
 
2012-05-01 06:39:58 PM
You have to admit, though, that women have finally stopped taking bad advice from men. They now, instead, take bad advice from other women. At 5.95 a copy. *sigh*
 
2012-05-01 06:42:06 PM

bunner: You have to admit, though, that women have finally stopped taking bad advice from men. They now, instead, take bad advice from other women. At 5.95 a copy. *sigh*


well, not ALL of us....(see above)

:D
 
2012-05-01 06:42:40 PM

mcwehrle: /why yes, I am currently in the market....
//no, no, mine died.... *sad*


It would help if you had your location in your profile :)

/Not currently looking, but we could hang out.
 
2012-05-01 06:44:38 PM

Nogale: Well, the last guy I asked out (thanks to the prompting of Farkers, oddly enough) got back with his ex-girlfriend after our second date. Which would have been fine, if disappointing - I figure it had more to do with unfinished business between the two of them - but he wasn't up front about it.


Not saying you won't have bad experiences with it. Just saying that it is the kind of thing to do to get the kind of person you want. You do have to be ready for rejection though. It will happen.

Also like I said, do some introspection on what you really want in a partner and what is really important. The reason I say that is you have the warning sign of "no particular template", but then a big list of specifics. You have to have a clear understanding of what you want, what is and is not a deal breaker. Otherwise you can be telling yourself (and others) that you are open to things you aren't. Also make sure you clarify to yourself what certain things mean. Like intelligent. Well how intelligent are you looking for? Average intelligence ok? A standard deviation above the mean? Two? Four? Figure out what it is you are after.

Also take a look at making sure you aren't sticking too much on to have standards that are too high, and part of that is evaluating yourself. Just as an example finding someone who is intelligent, well informed, curious, unconventional, tall, in good shape, can be hard. Finding someone who is intelligent and curious can be easier, most geeks are, however you are going to find they tend to be out of shape and often a bit conventional in lifestyle.

Another thing is make sure you are truthful about all the things you say you want. The one that I notice is you want someone that will "give you space". That's great, if you are really an independent person who really does want space. The thing is I've seen plenty of codependent people who say that and don't want it. As an example the last crazy girl a dated. She claimed to be independent, and I was very up front about being an independent person (I am probably too independent overall, but there you go) and she said that was great... And then immediately demanded I spend every moment of free time with her. What was originally a "Week where an old friend is visiting me, I probably won't be able to see you much," became "You need to come to my house every night and sit with me for hours on end, doing nothing." She didn't want space at all, she wanted someone codependent who needed her 24/7. She lied to herself about what she wanted.

Now again that is fine, I don't judge what kind of relationship you should want, but you have to figure it out and then be truthful with yourself (and others) about what it is. If not, you will find yourself disappointed (said crazy girl was devastated when I broke up with here, even though it was only after like 3 weeks).
 
2012-05-01 06:44:45 PM

WhippingBoy: xalres: Mr. Coffee Nerves: "Fun With Pronouns: Telling a story about your all-female office while never using an identifier other than 'She'"

Ms. (Miss? Mrs? Miss? Messr? MzZsissrS? I don't farking know)...

Anyway, Ms. X does the opposite. She'll sit there wracking her brain for minutes trying to remember the name of someone she's telling a story about even though I've never met them and likely never will. Just say Fred or Nancy and move on dammit, I won't know the difference.

Oh, and women need to stop playing "The suggestion game". You want us to do something, just tell us to. Don't pull the usual wishy-washy passive aggressive crap. What I've started doing to combat this is to be snarky and uncooperative until I get a real request out of her. Example:

Wiffey: "Hon, your shoes are on the floor."
Me: "Uh huh."
[30 minutes later]
Wiffey: "I thought I told you to pick up your shoes!"
Me: "No, you told me where they were. I was agreeing with you that they were on the floor. Did you want me to put them away?"
Wiffey: "Yes."
Me: "Okay." *puts shoes away*

It's slowly working.

You just described my wife. Whenever she wants anything done, she drops little hints and expects me to figure out exactly what she's thinking, drop everything, and jump into action. I've told her that if she wants something, all she has to do is have the courtesy to treat me with some respect and ask.


My poor husband dealt with this two, so I changed to directly asking him and also to asking him either before I go to bed or when I'm at work. That way, he knows what I want done clearly and I'm not around to biatch about the length of time is takes to do/get started on said task. He is happy because I quit nagging him and I'm happy because things get done. Win/Win in my book.
 
2012-05-01 06:46:39 PM
My ex-wife never paid much attention to 'those' articles, deciding on her own that half of them made her feel even more insecure and she'd always have better ways of making me miserable than the other half of the articles could ever suggest.

'Us Weekly' was more her speed back in the wall-to-wall Lauren Conrad days.
 
2012-05-01 06:47:38 PM

The Jami Turman Fan Club: mcwehrle: /why yes, I am currently in the market....
//no, no, mine died.... *sad*

It would help if you had your location in your profile :)

/Not currently looking, but we could hang out.


LOL sorry. I think I took it off one night while drunk and peeved that I was getting grief for being in Peoria, Illinois.

Yeah, I know, but it's home. I like it.

You're not that far. I'm moving to my first bought-all-by-mesef house in a couple weeks, If you ain't doing anything come early/mid June, you're welcome to come and see, meet my friends.

Oh, to be clear, hanging out would be great. I guess I should have said "I'm back on the market" more so than than "in the market". Not looking right now. But am single.
 
2012-05-01 06:49:20 PM

hailin: Yeah, my husband has blown out both knees. Luckily we live in a ranch-style house with no stairs. I can carry 50-lbs. pretty easily from my car to the house. 60-70 if it isn't some awkward to carry package. If it is something heavier I get the wheelbarrow. If it is something REALLY heavy that requires two people my husband gets our neighbor and they do it, but that is very rare. I figure I can haul the little stuff and save his knees for the bigger stuff. Plus it is EXCELLENT exercise.


Huh. She also complains that she needs to exercise more... but something tells me that pointing out that getting stuff herself would be a good exercise opportunity is not a good idea.

/Instincts, how do they work?
 
2012-05-01 06:51:36 PM
Ladies. If you are under the impression that your boyfriend or your husband is an employee, get ready to hear "I quit". If want a lap dog, buy a teacup poodle. Seriously.
 
2012-05-01 06:51:49 PM

sycraft: Also take a look at making sure you aren't sticking too much on to have standards that are too high, and part of that is evaluating yourself. Just as an example finding someone who is intelligent, well informed, curious, unconventional, tall, in good shape, can be hard. Finding someone who is intelligent and curious can be easier, most geeks are, however you are going to find they tend to be out of shape and often a bit conventional in lifestyle.


This was mentioned before and she got snippy, so you're probably wasting your breath.

I've seen it several times before, I can't help but wonder if there's a rash of ridiculously overinflated self images out there.

I suppose men are like that too, but less often complaining that they can't land a supermodel rocket scientist who trained in the bedroom arts with Xaviera Hollander, in the kitchen arts with all the iron chefs and actually *prefers* fellatio.
 
2012-05-01 06:53:38 PM
This seems appropriate...
www.roughlydrafted.com
 
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