RedEmily: I still remember reading an article about two college roomates who became more than just friends after a long night of partying.

Apparently, a little alcohol will turn two hetrosexual females into lesbians.

At 13, that resulted in alot of questions about whether I would turn lesbian if I got drunk.

Only if a guy is there to enjoy the show and to fill any gaps that a woman might have a problem with...

loonatic112358: RedEmily: I still remember reading an article about two college roomates who became more than just friends after a long night of partying.

Apparently, a little alcohol will turn two hetrosexual females into lesbians.

At 13, that resulted in alot of questions about whether I would turn lesbian if I got drunk.

let me provide the common heterosexual answer

Hopefully

lol

ertai_lapis: Skr: ZMugg: Somacandra:

1) Get Naked. Talk Horny.

[www.occasionalbrass.com image 520x317]

That's it. Talk horny to me.
Oooo baby, you know what I like.

are you hot yet?

I am.

Nobody Expects the Rusty Tromboner?

But then, what happens when the Rusty Trombone's spit-valve empties?

Somacandra:
1) Get Naked. Talk Horny.
2) Suck it
3) Use two hands

Are we to believe that women aren't CEOs because they haven't learned to dress properly, to swing a golf club, or to work hard?

Bingo, sugertits - with the exception of work hard, you just about nailed it. What you need to understand is "Alpha Male" is a euphemism for "Latent Homosexual"; and the last thing men in positions of power want near them is a female that, not only is their equal in business acumen, but looks better in a corset and garters.

mark.jms: RedEmily: I still remember reading an article about two college roomates who became more than just friends after a long night of partying.

Apparently, a little alcohol will turn two hetrosexual females into lesbians.

At 13, that resulted in alot of questions about whether I would turn lesbian if I got drunk.

Well?

Sadly for dirty mind it didn't. It does however allow me to be more adventerous.

Tried to read one of those magazines. Gave up after 35 pages of advertising. It was hard to tell where the ads ended and the magazine started.

proteus_b: ms. doll is getting bummed that people are directing general career advice towards women? really?

it seems to me that universities direct all kinds of resources specifically towards women, women's advancement, women's rape week, women' studies and so on. let's consider women's advancement groups---they are indeed a good thing, they organize meetings to help women learn how to use networking and whatever other skills to their advantage in order to build a solid career. granted, women do deal with different issues, in particular with respect to family, than men, so not all of the advice is necessarily universal, but from what i gather, 90% of what applies to the women also applies to the men. while this is great that universities thus help women to direct their careers in these trying times, why should men be excluded? but i'd bet dollars to donuts that ms. doll sat in such committees in her own uni days and had no problems with the nomenclature at the time.

I think there's two parts of this, at least stereotypically.

Part one is the theory that women aren't as assertive as men, and therefore are less likely to demand a raise or whatever, so they fall behind at work, never get promoted, and get to be the office dumping ground because they don't stand up for themselves as much as men do. I dunno if I buy this one, but it comes up a lot.

Part two is the fact that women still, both biologically and due to society's expectations, take more time to care for kids/ill parents/etc. Studies show that childless women tend to make as much, if not more, than men (once you account for job title, years of experience, degrees and certifications, etc.). But once they have kids, they fall behind, because first they take time off when pregnant and immediately afterwards, and then constantly have to take little Jimmy to the doctor's or soccer practice or whatever.

Mildot: RedEmily: I still remember reading an article about two college roomates who became more than just friends after a long night of partying.

Apparently, a little alcohol will turn two hetrosexual females into lesbians.

At 13, that resulted in alot of questions about whether I would turn lesbian if I got drunk.

Only if a guy is there to enjoy the show and to fill any gaps that a woman might have a problem with...

Yes, filling gaps is a great thing.

The actual covers of Cosmo, however, are perfectly acceptable.

Also from the same author: "Some Questions to Ask Yourself Upon the Arrival of Jessica Simpson's Baby"

Which rather undermines her credibility in my eyes as far as this particular topic is concerned.

No More Diamonds Ad's in there also. You don't get a diamond till I sample the platter.

Whether it's marry you, pick up his socks, or just be a completely different person, the definitive fact is you're not going to change anyone, not substantially and perhaps not even minimally, nor do you particularly want another person to change you.

THIS! THIS! THIS! x1000

This is why I have trouble making solid girl friends. When they ask me for advice I'm blunt like this. I'm sorry, but if your boyfriend is doing something that bothers you so much it makes you angry enough to scheme and plot how to change them, then you need to get out and find another guy that doesn't do that thing you hate so much. If you were dumb enough to marry it, either divorce (drug abuse, violence, etc.) or get over yourself and decide it isn't a big deal (not putting laundry in the hamper, etc.).

Also never dictate projects need to be done. If I can't do it myself then I don't even attempt it. That way if he wants to help I appreciate it, but if not I can handle it. My husband hates painting and tiling, so I do all those things. He loves woodworking, so he usually wants to help with those projects. However, I know how to use every single power tool we own. Also women should learn how to do some basic household repairs and yardwork. My husband loves that I will just fix the leaky sink or deal with the furnace rather then burdening him the moment he comes through the door. Be self-sufficient. It is a much better mentality to appreciate your spouse for wanting to help you then resent them for not doing what you want them to do.

pute kisses like a man: the article that should be written: whatever you are doing is not the hardest job in the world. everyone's life is somewhat difficult. not everyone has to talk about it.

Yes! This! You'd think sometimes that she had been hanging on the freak'n cross at Golgotha all day!

I'm too lazy to take a pic and upload it somewhere (and it's in flash so I can't just hotlink it), but I'm getting an ad (right below "Submit a Link") that reads:

Why Do Men Pull Away...

10 Ugly Mistakes Women Make That Ruin Any Chance of a Relationship...

Click Here

You know, just like a Cosmo article.

Clicking there brings me to this:

Link

Get Inside The Mind Of A Man With FREE Membership

Members will learn...
•What goes on inside a man's mind... and how attraction works for him
•The ten dangerous mistakes to avoid that most women make with men
•The differences in how men and women think about dating... and why
•The seven secrets to communicating with a man that will help create lasting love and affection
•The truth about men who aren't "emotionally available"... how to know if you've got one and what to do if you're dating one
•The five things women do that annoy men and prevent intimacy
•The inside tips married women know about the tell-tale signs of a great guy


Which appears to be some random dude saying, "Hey, chicks read love Cosmo articles. Let me make a webpage with all of them on it and they will send me money!"

ZMugg: Tried to read one of those magazines. Gave up after 35 pages of advertising. It was hard to tell where the ads ended and the magazine started.

BUY VERSACE

BUY COACH

BUY AVEDA

_{Table of contents}

BUY GAP

BUY DIOR

_{You make a good point.}

Mr. Coffee Nerves: "Fun With Pronouns: Telling a story about your all-female office while never using an identifier other than 'She'"

Ms. (Miss? Mrs? Miss? Messr? MzZsissrS? I don't farking know)...

Anyway, Ms. X does the opposite. She'll sit there wracking her brain for minutes trying to remember the name of someone she's telling a story about even though I've never met them and likely never will. Just say Fred or Nancy and move on dammit, I won't know the difference.

Oh, and women need to stop playing "The suggestion game". You want us to do something, just tell us to. Don't pull the usual wishy-washy passive aggressive crap. What I've started doing to combat this is to be snarky and uncooperative until I get a real request out of her. Example:

Wiffey: "Hon, your shoes are on the floor."
Me: "Uh huh."
[30 minutes later]
Wiffey: "I thought I told you to pick up your shoes!"
Me: "No, you told me where they were. I was agreeing with you that they were on the floor. Did you want me to put them away?"
Wiffey: "Yes."
Me: "Okay." *puts shoes away*

It's slowly working.

If Cosmo's advice was any good, they wouldn't sell any magazines since every woman would be happy at work and having mind-ripping orgasms all the time with a man who takes out the garbage and does yardwork without being nagged mercilessly.

proteus_b: ms. doll is getting bummed that people are directing general career advice towards women? really?

it seems to me that universities direct all kinds of resources specifically towards women, women's advancement, women's rape week, women' studies and so on. let's consider women's advancement groups---they are indeed a good thing, they organize meetings to help women learn how to use networking and whatever other skills to their advantage in order to build a solid career. granted, women do deal with different issues, in particular with respect to family, than men, so not all of the advice is necessarily universal, but from what i gather, 90% of what applies to the women also applies to the men. while this is great that universities thus help women to direct their careers in these trying times, why should men be excluded? but i'd bet dollars to donuts that ms. doll sat in such committees in her own uni days and had no problems with the nomenclature at the time.

Damn. Something else I missed by going to college during the paleolithic era.

Career women still better than housewives.

Geotpf: Part one is the theory that women aren't as assertive as men, and therefore are less likely to demand a raise or whatever, so they fall behind at work, never get promoted, and get to be the office dumping ground because they don't stand up for themselves as much as men do. I dunno if I buy this one, but it comes up a lot.

Part two is the fact that women still, both biologically and due to society's expectations, take more time to care for kids/ill parents/etc. Studies show that childless women tend to make as much, if not more, than men (once you account for job title, years of experience, degrees and certifications, etc.). But once they have kids, they fall behind, because first they take time off when pregnant and immediately afterwards, and then constantly have to take little Jimmy to the doctor's or soccer practice or whatever.

i agree that both of those factors exist, and that you expressed them and their effects better than i did. however our society is changing in such a way that men will also be affected, albeit much less than women, by the second part of your statement. and all people could in principle benefit from improving with respect to the first part (even if men, on average, out-perform women in that regard). thus why not give career advice to all? maybe i'm just bitter that a few years out of my phd i see that all of the most mediocre women i knew have some kinds of permanent positions lined up, likely as a result of having had better career advice, more careful mentoring, and "equal opportunity" hiring at universities and firms. i also knew exceptional women, and some of them actually are struggling, since they tended to reach for the stars anyways.... but mediocre women seem to be doing ok....

They need to hire a man to work there.

Lenny_da_Hog: CSB

Old girlfriend read one of these women's articles telling her that if a man really loves you, he will share the secret name he has given his penis, as all men give their penises names.

She wouldn't let it go. She kept asking over and over during the course of a couple of weeks, and each time I'd try to explain that no, I have never given my penis a name.

One night we were laying there, and she whispered the question one last time. "Please, just tell me its name."

"Okay," I replied. "It's Brenda."

She was stunned. "But... You gave it a girl's name? That's just WEIRD!"

I told her it was a joke. She wouldn't believe it. She broke up with me a few days later.

/CSB

I call my junk 'Crash and the Boys'
/Is that girl a boy?
//Yes.

proteus_b: Geotpf: Part one is the theory that women aren't as assertive as men, and therefore are less likely to demand a raise or whatever, so they fall behind at work, never get promoted, and get to be the office dumping ground because they don't stand up for themselves as much as men do. I dunno if I buy this one, but it comes up a lot.

Part two is the fact that women still, both biologically and due to society's expectations, take more time to care for kids/ill parents/etc. Studies show that childless women tend to make as much, if not more, than men (once you account for job title, years of experience, degrees and certifications, etc.). But once they have kids, they fall behind, because first they take time off when pregnant and immediately afterwards, and then constantly have to take little Jimmy to the doctor's or soccer practice or whatever.

i agree that both of those factors exist, and that you expressed them and their effects better than i did. however our society is changing in such a way that men will also be affected, albeit much less than women, by the second part of your statement. and all people could in principle benefit from improving with respect to the first part (even if men, on average, out-perform women in that regard). thus why not give career advice to all? maybe i'm just bitter that a few years out of my phd i see that all of the most mediocre women i knew have some kinds of permanent positions lined up, likely as a result of having had better career advice, more careful mentoring, and "equal opportunity" hiring at universities and firms. i also knew exceptional women, and some of them actually are struggling, since they tended to reach for the stars anyways.... but mediocre women seem to be doing ok....

I guess my point is that the "glass ceiling" is basically gone, assume women stand up for themselves and put in an equal amount of time at work (as opposed to taking time off cosntantly for child care, etc.). This matches what you are seeing.

proteus_b: i also knew exceptional women, and some of them actually are struggling, since they tended to reach for the stars anyways.... but mediocre women seem to be doing ok....

What field? In most, the people that treat them like jobs do better. One can be brilliant but unproductive.

I agree with the reporter about articles that tell women how they can be a good mother, wife and career woman shiat me to tears. Not because I don't believe they can but because of the underlying message that it's a woman's job to do all these things but not the mans. Sorry in today's society men also have to balance their careers with childcare. They also have to tend to home domestic duties as well as the woman. The days of the woman staying at home so that the man can work and be blissfully ignorant of all the extra work that go into running a stable home and life are over. Today they both work, they both take care of their children including both needing to take time off work at times and they both keep the house in order.

Skr: ZMugg: Tried to read one of those magazines. Gave up after 35 pages of advertising. It was hard to tell where the ads ended and the magazine started.

BUY VERSACE

BUY COACH

BUY AVEDA

Table of contents

BUY GAP

BUY DIOR

You make a good point.

Once you figure out where the ads stop, the condescending attitude is off-putting.

Asa Baber (RIP) once observed that if a man talked down to a woman the way "women's magazines" do, they'd be eviscerated.

Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: How to Land a Man in 5 Easy Steps

1. Don't have some sort of horrific mutation
2. Don't be grotesquely fat
3. Put a little effort into your appearance
4. Don't be a raging biatch
5. Put out

By following these 5 steps you can have your pick of 75% of available men.

I answer all these criteria and yet the guys I like aren't interested. They appreciate me, they value me, they tell me I'm "amazing" and "wonderful" but they just don't want to be with me.

Try and re-evaluate #4.

/Amazing and wonderful are things you say while backing out the front door so you don't get cut.

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: How to Land a Man in 5 Easy Steps

1. Don't have some sort of horrific mutation
2. Don't be grotesquely fat
3. Put a little effort into your appearance
4. Don't be a raging biatch
5. Put out

By following these 5 steps you can have your pick of 75% of available men.

I answer all these criteria and yet the guys I like aren't interested. They appreciate me, they value me, they tell me I'm "amazing" and "wonderful" but they just don't want to be with me.

What kind of guys do you like?

I'm guessing homosexuals or ones already in a relationship/married.

hailin: Whether it's marry you, pick up his socks, or just be a completely different person, the definitive fact is you're not going to change anyone, not substantially and perhaps not even minimally, nor do you particularly want another person to change you.

THIS! THIS! THIS! x1000

This is why I have trouble making solid girl friends. When they ask me for advice I'm blunt like this. I'm sorry, but if your boyfriend is doing something that bothers you so much it makes you angry enough to scheme and plot how to change them, then you need to get out and find another guy that doesn't do that thing you hate so much. If you were dumb enough to marry it, either divorce (drug abuse, violence, etc.) or get over yourself and decide it isn't a big deal (not putting laundry in the hamper, etc.).

Also never dictate projects need to be done. If I can't do it myself then I don't even attempt it. That way if he wants to help I appreciate it, but if not I can handle it. My husband hates painting and tiling, so I do all those things. He loves woodworking, so he usually wants to help with those projects. However, I know how to use every single power tool we own. Also women should learn how to do some basic household repairs and yardwork. My husband loves that I will just fix the leaky sink or deal with the furnace rather then burdening him the moment he comes through the door. Be self-sufficient. It is a much better mentality to appreciate your spouse for wanting to help you then resent them for not doing what you want them to do.

I love you

WhippingBoy: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Whoever gave my wife the magazine with the articles "If his foot makes it the whole way over the front door threshold and you haven't started talking yet, then you've failed" and "Fun With Pronouns: Telling a story about your all-female office while never using an identifier other than 'She'" I'd like to thank you privately. In an alley. At 3:17AM. With a pillowcase full of doorknobs.

So it's *not* just my wife that does this???? Suddenly, I don't feel so alone!

If you ask "was that Mary or Lucinda?" every few minutes you don't have to pay attention and can go about your after work routine in peace.

/you know, beer and pron

ph0rk: What field? In most, the people that treat them like jobs do better. One can be brilliant but unproductive.

i'm in science, but i think it's not a matter of unproductive, but not knowing how to do the schmooze as much... i do believe this is a worthwhile skill to learn but perhaps sometimes it is over-emphasized. myself i am neither brilliant or productive lately, but am greatly enjoying my dating life, hobbies and life in general so i'm not, as adam duritz would say, overly concerned...

red5ish: A tube sock full of Master locks also works.

Hell a single lock in the sock works just fine, you are just going for a poor mans sap after all.

proteus_b: ph0rk: What field? In most, the people that treat them like jobs do better. One can be brilliant but unproductive.

i'm in science, but i think it's not a matter of unproductive, but not knowing how to do the schmooze as much... i do believe this is a worthwhile skill to learn but perhaps sometimes it is over-emphasized. myself i am neither brilliant or productive lately, but am greatly enjoying my dating life, hobbies and life in general so i'm not, as adam duritz would say, overly concerned...

That isn't a field; but be it the physical or social sciences, I'd wager productivity is all.

The hidden trick to productivity, of course, is happening to write papers that editors think are timely. Hard to plan for that.

/I'm sure interviewing well is important too, I guess.

The only thing learned from that article is that Dakota Fanning has blossomed into a fine looking woman.

Nine articles?

Maybe I missed something, but I only count eight.

/maybe the ninth one is "any woman can be as good as a guy at math"

thatboyoverthere: Lenny_da_Hog: CSB

Old girlfriend read one of these women's articles telling her that if a man really loves you, he will share the secret name he has given his penis, as all men give their penises names.

She wouldn't let it go. She kept asking over and over during the course of a couple of weeks, and each time I'd try to explain that no, I have never given my penis a name.

One night we were laying there, and she whispered the question one last time. "Please, just tell me its name."

"Okay," I replied. "It's Brenda."

She was stunned. "But... You gave it a girl's name? That's just WEIRD!"

I told her it was a joke. She wouldn't believe it. She broke up with me a few days later.

/CSB

I call my junk 'Crash and the Boys'
/Is that girl a boy?
//Yes.

I take it you don't last longer than a few seconds?

/SOOOOOOO SAD.
//Thank you.

Nogale: Contrabulous Flabtraption: How to Land a Man in 5 Easy Steps

1. Don't have some sort of horrific mutation
2. Don't be grotesquely fat
3. Put a little effort into your appearance
4. Don't be a raging biatch
5. Put out

By following these 5 steps you can have your pick of 75% of available men.

I answer all these criteria and yet the guys I like aren't interested. They appreciate me, they value me, they tell me I'm "amazing" and "wonderful" but they just don't want to be with me.

Read your profile. Understand completely.

ZMugg: Skr: ZMugg: Tried to read one of those magazines. Gave up after 35 pages of advertising. It was hard to tell where the ads ended and the magazine started.

BUY VERSACE

BUY COACH

BUY AVEDA

Table of contents

BUY GAP

BUY DIOR

You make a good point.

Once you figure out where the ads stop, the condescending attitude is off-putting.

Asa Baber (RIP) once observed that if a man talked down to a woman the way "women's magazines" do, they'd he'd be eviscerated.

Me fail English? Thats unpossible

Nogale: There's no template. I don't care about looks, although I prefer that he be at least my height (5'7"). Has to be intelligent and well-informed, naturally curious with interests he's passionate about. Don't care about formal degrees. Prefer someone who's lived a slightly less than conventional life. Must be able to give me some space. No passive-aggressive types. It's best if he's in good shape, but I don't really care so long as he's not threatened by a woman who's in better condition than he is. Of course, there has to be mutual attraction, which is always an X factor.

heh.

Reminds me of someone I knew who'd only date men that were over 6', held a doctorate, and earned 6 figures. Also, they had to be runners.

You might have unrealistic standards. You know, that whole 7's pair with 7's and 9's with 9's thing.

Lenny_da_Hog: CSB

Old girlfriend read one of these women's articles telling her that if a man really loves you, he will share the secret name he has given his penis, as all men give their penises names.

She wouldn't let it go. She kept asking over and over during the course of a couple of weeks, and each time I'd try to explain that no, I have never given my penis a name.

One night we were laying there, and she whispered the question one last time. "Please, just tell me its name."

"Okay," I replied. "It's Brenda."

She was stunned. "But... You gave it a girl's name? That's just WEIRD!"

I told her it was a joke. She wouldn't believe it. She broke up with me a few days later.

/CSB

I love it when girls call me WEIRD. I just say, 'i'd rather be weird than boring.' That typically shuts them right up. And Brenda is a fine name. Mine is Lord Byron Dogball III