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(DCist)   Okay, panda semen is going in   (dcist.com) divider line 40
    More: Strange, National Zoo, pandas, Mei Xiang, school uniforms, Arlington County  
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4718 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2012 at 4:20 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-05-01 04:20:53 PM  
#PandaPoon
 
2012-05-01 04:22:48 PM  
See, me an' Pookie added a special ingredient to the burgers tonight.
 
2012-05-01 04:24:36 PM  
HOTY!


Book it. Done
 
2012-05-01 04:26:55 PM  
If pandas didn't look as cool as they do, would there be all this effort to keep their population numbers up? They seem dumber than a box of rocks and apparently can't (or won't) get the motivation to get it on with each other to do it the natural way.
 
2012-05-01 04:29:42 PM  
Later:

[Follow-Up] Okay, panda is coming out.
 
2012-05-01 04:29:45 PM  

valkore: If pandas didn't look as cool as they do, would there be all this effort to keep their population numbers up? They seem dumber than a box of rocks and apparently can't (or won't) get the motivation to get it on with each other to do it the natural way.


Maybe if the Panda had a few drinks first?
 
2012-05-01 04:30:49 PM  
oh come on, this is the stuff people are shooting about on twitter now?
 
2012-05-01 04:31:44 PM  
Octomom didn't waste any time, did she?
 
2012-05-01 04:32:40 PM  
www.squigglesplus.com
/hot, in case anyone doesn't know the reference
 
2012-05-01 04:32:49 PM  
Are you for Panda Rape?

/You crazy, woman?!
 
2012-05-01 04:44:57 PM  
Wherefore the "school uniforms" tag for this?
 
2012-05-01 04:45:28 PM  
I'll never understand the DC Panda fetish. Every year it's a Panda-farking play by play of Panda farking. Every Panda-farking morning on the news.

It's a bear that kinda looks like a cow. Get over it.
 
2012-05-01 04:48:31 PM  
Is this a promo for the new WoW expansion?
 
2012-05-01 04:50:23 PM  
*Excited seal clap*

*Excited seal grin*

*Excited seal urk urk*
 
2012-05-01 05:34:21 PM  
Did someone finally fix the cable?
 
2012-05-01 05:50:38 PM  
How much money do we waste on these cuddly looking but retarded evolutionary dead ends that could be better spent preserving less photogenic animals that are much more important to the ecosystem. Like bats or some kind of crazy shrimp or something.
 
2012-05-01 05:51:46 PM  
Subby, you ass sucker.
www.spscriptorium.com
 
2012-05-01 06:21:38 PM  
Panda tits or GTFO.
 
2012-05-01 06:27:02 PM  

Cyno01: How much money do we waste on these cuddly looking but retarded evolutionary dead ends that could be better spent preserving less photogenic animals that are much more important to the ecosystem. Like bats or some kind of crazy shrimp or something.


Really, take a hint from nature.
 
2012-05-01 06:29:06 PM  

valkore: If pandas didn't look as cool as they do, would there be all this effort to keep their population numbers up? They seem dumber than a box of rocks and apparently can't (or won't) get the motivation to get it on with each other to do it the natural way.


Your perceptions are accurate. The most interesting thing about pandas is that they appear to be real, live evolutionary dead ends. They are so specialized and so ludicrously inept at reproduction that even without our help, they'd probably be extinct soon. Likely they'll only last as long as our zoos do.
 
2012-05-01 06:43:43 PM  

ph0rk: Is this a promo for the new WoW expansion?


My first thought as well.
 
2012-05-01 06:53:28 PM  
Funny that everyone in that room has technically had more panda sex than most pandas have.
 
2012-05-01 06:54:59 PM  
Oh, and assuming this insemination fails, I'd like to throw my hat in the ring to give her a go. Granted, she won't get knocked up, but a nice romp in the hay has got to be better for her sexually than all those guys with their tubes and frozen jizz.
 
2012-05-01 08:04:18 PM  

valkore: If pandas didn't look as cool as they do, would there be all this effort to keep their population numbers up? They seem dumber than a box of rocks and apparently can't (or won't) get the motivation to get it on with each other to do it the natural way.


Cyno01: How much money do we waste on these cuddly looking but retarded evolutionary dead ends that could be better spent preserving less photogenic animals that are much more important to the ecosystem. Like bats or some kind of crazy shrimp or something.


rico567: The most interesting thing about pandas is that they appear to be real, live evolutionary dead ends. They are so specialized and so ludicrously inept at reproduction that even without our help, they'd probably be extinct soon.


Know how I know you idiots know absolutely nothing about pandas?
 
2012-05-01 08:16:19 PM  

dragonchild: valkore: If pandas didn't look as cool as they do, would there be all this effort to keep their population numbers up? They seem dumber than a box of rocks and apparently can't (or won't) get the motivation to get it on with each other to do it the natural way.

Cyno01: How much money do we waste on these cuddly looking but retarded evolutionary dead ends that could be better spent preserving less photogenic animals that are much more important to the ecosystem. Like bats or some kind of crazy shrimp or something.

rico567: The most interesting thing about pandas is that they appear to be real, live evolutionary dead ends. They are so specialized and so ludicrously inept at reproduction that even without our help, they'd probably be extinct soon.

Know how I know you idiots know absolutely nothing about pandas?


That they evolved as carnivores, and IIRC still have the digestive tract of a carnivore, but for some reason they eat bamboo, which while abundant, one of the fastest growing things on the planet in fact, they derive very little nutrition from it, so little nutrition that they try not to walk uphill because its too much of an energy expenditure. Those kind of panda facts?
 
2012-05-01 08:26:47 PM  

Cyno01: That they evolved as carnivores, and IIRC still have the digestive tract of a carnivore, but for some reason they eat bamboo, which while abundant, one of the fastest growing things on the planet in fact, they derive very little nutrition from it, so little nutrition that they try not to walk uphill because its too much of an energy expenditure. Those kind of panda facts?


OK, so why the snark? Or did you just look this shiat up 5 minutes ago? They're specialists and very adapted to what they do. And frankly, they're the "ideal" animal in that they don't have any significant predators (aside from us, anyway) yet don't stress their environment. They're more an evolutionary fence-straddler than a "dead end". They only limit reproduction because it's energy-intensive. Overbreeding risks the life of both offspring and parent. Reproduction is only an issue because humans are poaching them and they don't replenish their numbers quickly. Without humans they'd be just fine, yet we sociopathic genocidal breeders have the gall to blame a species for existing?

It's typical Fark schadenfreude, really. Laughing at something you don't understand makes it easier to destroy.
 
2012-05-01 08:32:23 PM  

dragonchild: They're specialists and very adapted to what they do.


Apparently not when it comes to eating and reproducing.
 
2012-05-01 08:39:00 PM  

dragonchild: Cyno01: That they evolved as carnivores, and IIRC still have the digestive tract of a carnivore, but for some reason they eat bamboo, which while abundant, one of the fastest growing things on the planet in fact, they derive very little nutrition from it, so little nutrition that they try not to walk uphill because its too much of an energy expenditure. Those kind of panda facts?

OK, so why the snark? Or did you just look this shiat up 5 minutes ago? They're specialists and very adapted to what they do. And frankly, they're the "ideal" animal in that they don't have any significant predators (aside from us, anyway) yet don't stress their environment. They're more an evolutionary fence-straddler than a "dead end". They only limit reproduction because it's energy-intensive. Overbreeding risks the life of both offspring and parent. Reproduction is only an issue because humans are poaching them and they don't replenish their numbers quickly. Without humans they'd be just fine, yet we sociopathic genocidal breeders have the gall to blame a species for existing?

It's typical Fark schadenfreude, really. Laughing at something you don't understand makes it easier to destroy.


So they occupy a niche that doesnt really need occupying, nothing eats them and they eat bamboo, which grows faster than they can eat it. Theyre their own self contained food chain. Evolutionary dead end may be a bit of hyperbole, but regardless, the amount of money spent on panda conservation because theyre cuddly, considering they dont occupy an important ecological niche, would definitely be better spent on 50 other species that are also in trouble, that maybe do occupy an important ecological niche in a complex food chain.
 
2012-05-01 08:43:14 PM  
images.theage.com.au
Maybe showing them some Panda Porn might help?
 
2012-05-01 08:58:42 PM  

Cyno01: So they occupy a niche that doesnt really need occupying


Says you, but that's also typical of Fark -- if something isn't quantifiably valuable, it has no value. That line of thinking is responsible for some colossally stupid mistakes over the course of human history, but I'm sure that won't get in the way of your hubris.

Let me clarify something -- I don't necessarily agree with the conservation efforts. I see the reasoning that it's inefficient and biased. But I'm also a guy who'd like to shoot poachers on sight. Not out of hate, but just to show how certain mentalities work both ways. Humans have these pesky things called rights, though, which aren't matched with a sense of responsibility, so while I don't care enough to directly intervene, I'm not going to get snarky if some people are working to make sure pandas don't suffer the consequences of our short-sightedness. Overall, it's not like we'd use said resources for anything better than hookers n' blow.

So hey, I'm an asshole. I'm not going to be a cave-dwelling vegan, and that makes me an asshole. But at least I'm an honorable asshole. I'm not going to assume smug superiority over people actually trying to compensate for our dickishness and I don't judge pandas because they fall short of our short-sighted selfish expectations, nor blame them for our mistakes. I'm an asshole but at least I own it. You, on the other hand, seem to write off anything you don't care about as fair game. Well, billions of us thinking like that is why we have a lot of the problems we're facing today.
 
2012-05-01 09:18:40 PM  
I had a hard time fapping to that.
 
2012-05-01 09:32:00 PM  

dragonchild: Cyno01: So they occupy a niche that doesnt really need occupying

Says you, but that's also typical of Fark -- if something isn't quantifiably valuable, it has no value. That line of thinking is responsible for some colossally stupid mistakes over the course of human history, but I'm sure that won't get in the way of your hubris.

Let me clarify something -- I don't necessarily agree with the conservation efforts. I see the reasoning that it's inefficient and biased. But I'm also a guy who'd like to shoot poachers on sight. Not out of hate, but just to show how certain mentalities work both ways. Humans have these pesky things called rights, though, which aren't matched with a sense of responsibility, so while I don't care enough to directly intervene, I'm not going to get snarky if some people are working to make sure pandas don't suffer the consequences of our short-sightedness. Overall, it's not like we'd use said resources for anything better than hookers n' blow.

So hey, I'm an asshole. I'm not going to be a cave-dwelling vegan, and that makes me an asshole. But at least I'm an honorable asshole. I'm not going to assume smug superiority over people actually trying to compensate for our dickishness and I don't judge pandas because they fall short of our short-sighted selfish expectations, nor blame them for our mistakes. I'm an asshole but at least I own it. You, on the other hand, seem to write off anything you don't care about as fair game. Well, billions of us thinking like that is why we have a lot of the problems we're facing today.


I seem to have misplaced the "You must be new here" pic, have you seen it?
 
2012-05-01 09:50:54 PM  
Pandas are cool. They're practically living fossils.

And yes they are adorably cute, I mean objectively so. So humans like them. That is why tens of millions if not more is poured into preserving them. Certainly the money could be more efficiently used elsewhere.

But yet I don't care. People like them, and send money their way. It's like that for many many many things.


/inevitably, irrevocably, yada yada
 
2012-05-01 11:22:13 PM  
God, what is with all these panda updates? They're getting to be unbearable.

/Continued coverage will cause pandamonium.
 
2012-05-02 01:02:46 AM  
farm5.staticflickr.com

panda seamen
 
2012-05-02 01:08:38 AM  
Am I the only one who thinks that this guy:

p.twimg.com

looks an awful lot like this guy?

myhoustonmajic.com
 
2012-05-02 11:41:43 AM  
Let the farking Panda go extinct already and focus on preventing the extinction of other species that are not so specialized.
 
2012-05-03 01:22:07 AM  
If pandas tasted good enough, we'd care.

But how much "really big rat" meat can one consume?
 
2012-05-03 02:08:08 AM  

Slam1263: If pandas tasted good enough, we'd care.

But how much "really big rat" meat can one consume?


Recent DNA sequencing has shown that giant pandas are not in fact related to raccoons, but are true bears. And bear is tasty. As is bamboo. Idiot bears that only eat bamboo probably taste pretty damn good.

I still wanna know if koala meat is menthol flavored.
 
2012-05-04 07:36:46 PM  
So pandas taste like bear, bear tastes like pork, pork taste like pork.

Yeah, still not seeing vast panda ranches raising marketable quantities.
 
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