jaylectricity: The My Little Pony Killer: Have sex with Ann. She's a worm. It'd be kinky.

What was that all about? It looked like they were personal vendetta's she was mixing in with the advice letters.

I don't know why the article is formatted the way it is, but that was a continuation of the first letter and response. The original writer must have sent her two follow up e-mails to which she replied, but for some reason they are not properly threaded into a single line of Question & Response and are mixed between other letters

Cakefarter.com or cakefarts.com. Can't check at work.

An old couple is sitting in church one morning, listening to a sermon, when the wife whispers, "I just let out a silent fart. What should I do?"

Her husband whispers back, "Well, for starters, you should put a new battery in your hearing aid."

HailRobonia: jaylectricity: I love how you're refuting the need to grow up by using the word yuckyness(sic).

It's a perfectly cromulynt word.

I offer you my most enthusiastic contrafribularities.

/i'm anispeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombobulation

chookbillion: I was startled, although I know I probably should not have been, by the college kid who is facing the prospect of doing laundry for the first time. OMG, what to do????

well, discovering the laundry habits of others is sometimes unsettling. my mother in law basically thinks I'm some kind of heathen for not having a freshly washed wash cloth in the bathroom every day.

/ i don't use wash cloths. i don't really understand what they're for. I use soap. I also don't wash my towels after every use. I hang them up and let them dry. I wash them once they are perceptively dirty.
// i think the previous generation are a bunch of ocd crazies.

groppet: Butt plug?

Came here for that. Leaving satisfied.

My wife burps...always has...everytime I pump. Barb the Burper. Sigh...

pute kisses like a man: I wash them once they are perceptively dirty

WTF?

Should I Stay Mum About Paying Off My Home?

Throw a lovely summer party and keep the reason for the celebration private. You don't need an excuse to have friends over for food and drink. But tapping on a glass to announce, "The reason I've gathered you all here is to raise a toast to the fact that I have paid off my mortgage at an accelerated rate," will definitely be hard for everyone else to swallow.

What the fark is this shiat? I don't have a single friend/relative from dirt poor to obscenely wealthy who wouldn't be absolutely thrilled to know I'm doing well financially. Especially in this economy. Especially if I'm inviting them to celebrate with booze and BBQ. The wealthy ones would be happy that I'm all bootstrappy and the poor ones would want to know how I did it so they can try it themselves.

Xaneidolon: pute kisses like a man: I wash them once they are perceptively dirty

WTF?

Don't overuse water resources.

#savethewhales

hitlersbrain: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x320]

Those just change the tone.

If you have to wash your towel after every time you use it, well, you're doing it wrong.

/once a week is enough

I'll just leave this here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSZJJc3T1RQ


:)

mcwehrle: If you have to wash your towel after every time you use it, well, you're doing it wrong.

/once a week is enough

I used to work with a woman who said she only used her shower towel once per washing. Because she didn't want to accidentally wipe her face with the part of the towel that wiped her butt the day before. I told her I use the tag to keep track of which end of the towel wiped what. Tag wipes tail. Or is it the other way around?

mcwehrle: If you have to wash your towel after every time you use it, well, you're doing it wrong.

/once a week is enough

I've seen these people. Usually they have a paper towel roll mounted in the bathroom too.

mcwehrle: If you have to wash your towel after every time you use it, well, you're doing it wrong.

/once a week is enough

I have a cousin who had to have scrupulously clean towels every time he bathed, which was two to three times per day. But, nay-nay, he didn't need just one towel, he needed three. One for his body, one for his hair and one for his bottom. My aunt asked me once why I thought he had become so odd about this. I said he was gay. Oh, no, no. That can't be right. He has a girlfriend and everything! He came out to her six years later.

jtown: mcwehrle: If you have to wash your towel after every time you use it, well, you're doing it wrong.

/once a week is enough

I used to work with a woman who said she only used her shower towel once per washing. Because she didn't want to accidentally wipe her face with the part of the towel that wiped her butt the day before. I told her I use the tag to keep track of which end of the towel wiped what. Tag wipes tail. Or is it the other way around?

Way ahead of you....

Meh.. All those super OCD "wash-the-towels-after-every-use" people will end up being the first zombie/plague victims..

//Build up that immune system!

Thanks for the Meme-ries: jtown: mcwehrle: If you have to wash your towel after every time you use it, well, you're doing it wrong.

/once a week is enough

I used to work with a woman who said she only used her shower towel once per washing. Because she didn't want to accidentally wipe her face with the part of the towel that wiped her butt the day before. I told her I use the tag to keep track of which end of the towel wiped what. Tag wipes tail. Or is it the other way around?

Way ahead of you....

[i291.photobucket.com image 337x516]

They should have made the butt end white so you'd know when to wash the towel.

JackieRabbit: mcwehrle: If you have to wash your towel after every time you use it, well, you're doing it wrong.

/once a week is enough

I have a cousin who had to have scrupulously clean towels every time he bathed, which was two to three times per day. But, nay-nay, he didn't need just one towel, he needed three. One for his body, one for his hair and one for his bottom. My aunt asked me once why I thought he had become so odd about this. I said he was gay. Oh, no, no. That can't be right. He has a girlfriend and everything! He came out to her six years later.

heh. Eons ago, in my early twenties, I went home with the guy I was dating to meet his parents and sister. It was all cool, up to the discovery of they each had their own towels/washcloths/hand towels/soaps/shampoos and ne'er the twain shall meet. Seriously, separate hand soaps, shampoos, etc. Forever. And for FSM's sake, don't leave so much as a HAIR in that tub when you're done. (squeegee/spray/wipes provided for this purpose)

I was assigned my own personal set of guest towels.....luckily I brought my own shampoo/body soap. They were a great family and all, but that part weirded me out.

jtown: mcwehrle: If you have to wash your towel after every time you use it, well, you're doing it wrong.

/once a week is enough

I used to work with a woman who said she only used her shower towel once per washing. Because she didn't want to accidentally wipe her face with the part of the towel that wiped her butt the day before. I told her I use the tag to keep track of which end of the towel wiped what. Tag wipes tail. Or is it the other way around?

strange.....I mean....washing thoroughly takes care of that.....

reminds me of a "buy this silly overpriced bath crap and makeup" party my youngest niece had last year. The frilly 20something hostess was touting the face wash and her exact words were "because I'm not washing my face with the same thing I wash my butt with".....my (and my sister's) thought was "so what's so horrible on your butt?"

*shrug* I guess I'm not girly/fancy/froufrou/OCD enough....

mcwehrle: jtown: mcwehrle: If you have to wash your towel after every time you use it, well, you're doing it wrong.

/once a week is enough

I used to work with a woman who said she only used her shower towel once per washing. Because she didn't want to accidentally wipe her face with the part of the towel that wiped her butt the day before. I told her I use the tag to keep track of which end of the towel wiped what. Tag wipes tail. Or is it the other way around?

strange.....I mean....washing thoroughly takes care of that.....



Your junkal region is full of bacteria no matter how well you wash. Well, it's all over your body no matter how well you wash but it's much more concentrated around your ass and junk. And you definitely don't want to be mixing your ass bacteria and mouth bacteria. That's why you should never go ATM.

"Honey, why do you keep sticking your fingers up my butt? Are you trying to loosen me up for anal?"
"Nope, just trying to breath."
Could be comedy gold.

AgentBang: The other story about the husband who is cheating on his wife with a dying woman (and had been for 4 years) is way more interesting than the fart stuff...most terrible person of the year award indeed.

Newt?

Dear Prudence, why'd you fart during sex?
Dear Prudence, it's worse than trying to text.
I'm goin' at ya...what the hell?
I almost pass out from the smell
Dear Prudence, why'd you fart during sex?

jtown: mcwehrle: jtown: mcwehrle: If you have to wash your towel after every time you use it, well, you're doing it wrong.

/once a week is enough

I used to work with a woman who said she only used her shower towel once per washing. Because she didn't want to accidentally wipe her face with the part of the towel that wiped her butt the day before. I told her I use the tag to keep track of which end of the towel wiped what. Tag wipes tail. Or is it the other way around?

strange.....I mean....washing thoroughly takes care of that.....



Your junkal region is full of bacteria no matter how well you wash. Well, it's all over your body no matter how well you wash but it's much more concentrated around your ass and junk. And you definitely don't want to be mixing your ass bacteria and mouth bacteria. That's why you should never go ATM.

well I've never ATM'd anyway....but I know about the junkal region bacteria. However, unless you are totally pants on head retarded about how you wash, and sucking on your bath towel after drying those areas, the chances are terribly remote that cross contamination will occur to the point that you will see any effects.

But, to each their own. Until the bath towel police storm my home and take me into custody for doing it wrong.....I'm ok with however people treat their towels. And their junk.

:P

Local Man:

[images2.makefive.com image 175x152]

Those Aren't Farts

Damnit, I can't stop laughing.

Embarrassing Body Sounds: I am a relatively normal 28-year-old man. I have an odd digestive system, though, so I have more problems with gas than average. I usually manage to minimize such issues by choosing easily digested foods, and making quick trips out of the room when I can tell I'm about to pass wind. Rightly, this has caused a few chuckles among my friends once they realize why I wander off, but while it's a bit embarrassing, I've managed to deal, as I can handle their good natured teasing. But, my problem comes in when I date-I can generally hide my problem for the first few dates, but when it begins to get more physical, and it's impossible to leave the room in the middle of things, I cringe at the thought of what to do when the inevitable happens. We're talking farts during sex. I do not want that to happen, and as a result, I've managed to mess up a few relationships that I had thought were going well with my inability to get physical. I have a new girlfriend, and I think things are going that way, but I don't know what to do-risk the sounds and smells? Warn her? Continue to live monklike?

Dear Embarrassing Body Sounds,

1) Turn in your man card.
2) Get neutered.
3) GTFO.

Love,
KierzanDax

/I've already ripped two loud farts here at work just in the time I typed this.
//My nickname is "Thunder"
///Theme song: AC/DC - Thunderstruck

jtown: Should I Stay Mum About Paying Off My Home?

Throw a lovely summer party and keep the reason for the celebration private. You don't need an excuse to have friends over for food and drink. But tapping on a glass to announce, "The reason I've gathered you all here is to raise a toast to the fact that I have paid off my mortgage at an accelerated rate," will definitely be hard for everyone else to swallow.

What the fark is this shiat? I don't have a single friend/relative from dirt poor to obscenely wealthy who wouldn't be absolutely thrilled to know I'm doing well financially. Especially in this economy. Especially if I'm inviting them to celebrate with booze and BBQ. The wealthy ones would be happy that I'm all bootstrappy and the poor ones would want to know how I did it so they can try it themselves.

I dont have a single relative that wouldnt use it as an excuse to ask me for money. Furthermore, its kind of garish to have a party to basically brag to everyone about how well you are doing, because thats pretty much what it amounts to.

At least they put two qustions on farting during sex in there -- one about a man and one about a woman. I've been lucky so far, no unplanned gas releases during sex. My gf did let a small one out after sex a couple fo times over the past years, but nothing too scary. It would be a major turn off.

The Unwitting Cuckold was interesting... like a John Edwards, but all updside down.

You're doing it right

If you live in Louisiana

phedex: jtown: Should I Stay Mum About Paying Off My Home?

Throw a lovely summer party and keep the reason for the celebration private. You don't need an excuse to have friends over for food and drink. But tapping on a glass to announce, "The reason I've gathered you all here is to raise a toast to the fact that I have paid off my mortgage at an accelerated rate," will definitely be hard for everyone else to swallow.

What the fark is this shiat? I don't have a single friend/relative from dirt poor to obscenely wealthy who wouldn't be absolutely thrilled to know I'm doing well financially. Especially in this economy. Especially if I'm inviting them to celebrate with booze and BBQ. The wealthy ones would be happy that I'm all bootstrappy and the poor ones would want to know how I did it so they can try it themselves.

I dont have a single relative that wouldnt use it as an excuse to ask me for money. Furthermore, its kind of garish to have a party to basically brag to everyone about how well you are doing, because thats pretty much what it amounts to.

So I guess I should be ashamed of success? I'll make sure I don't invite you to my party. The rest of us will be having a good time while you mope that nobody ever gave you a chance. I guess we should eliminate bachelor/bachelorette parties because people who don't have a committed partner might feel bad. Same with baby showers. From now on, all celebration of achievement shall be banned so nobody gets butthurt.

Sorry, buddy, I'm not going to be ashamed of my success and I'm not going to pretend that I'm living hand-to-mouth. I'm comfortable, I'm happy, and I don't care who knows it. And not one of my friends or family members has tried to bum a dime off me. Maybe you need a better class of friends and family.

jtown: phedex: jtown: Should I Stay Mum About Paying Off My Home?

Throw a lovely summer party and keep the reason for the celebration private. You don't need an excuse to have friends over for food and drink. But tapping on a glass to announce, "The reason I've gathered you all here is to raise a toast to the fact that I have paid off my mortgage at an accelerated rate," will definitely be hard for everyone else to swallow.

What the fark is this shiat? I don't have a single friend/relative from dirt poor to obscenely wealthy who wouldn't be absolutely thrilled to know I'm doing well financially. Especially in this economy. Especially if I'm inviting them to celebrate with booze and BBQ. The wealthy ones would be happy that I'm all bootstrappy and the poor ones would want to know how I did it so they can try it themselves.

I dont have a single relative that wouldnt use it as an excuse to ask me for money. Furthermore, its kind of garish to have a party to basically brag to everyone about how well you are doing, because thats pretty much what it amounts to.

So I guess I should be ashamed of success? I'll make sure I don't invite you to my party. The rest of us will be having a good time while you mope that nobody ever gave you a chance. I guess we should eliminate bachelor/bachelorette parties because people who don't have a committed partner might feel bad. Same with baby showers. From now on, all celebration of achievement shall be banned so nobody gets butthurt.

Sorry, buddy, I'm not going to be ashamed of my success and I'm not going to pretend that I'm living hand-to-mouth. I'm comfortable, I'm happy, and I don't care who knows it. And not one of my friends or family members has tried to bum a dime off me. Maybe you need a better class of friends and family.

I just purchased a home. I move in in two weeks. Wanna come to my party? I've gotten nothing but high 5's and ooorahs from my friends and family too. Even the ones that lost their jobs in 2008 along with me and haven't had my good fortune(s) since then.

We should party. Do you like goat? I'm doing all the usual suspects, but I'm also doing goat.....one of my besties is a sommolier...we're doing beer and food pairings.

If you wash your ass, it's as clean as your face so what does it matter which end of the towel dries your face? Unless you're sticking the towel up your asshole with the towel or something.

I dated a girl that frequently farted, loudly, when she climaxed. If nothing else at least I could be fairly certain she wasn't faking. Never really bothered me though, once you get to that point with someone hopefully you're mature enough to realize that some noises and spills are kind of how the body works.

ElBarto79: I dated a girl that frequently farted, loudly, when she climaxed. If nothing else at least I could be fairly certain she wasn't faking. Never really bothered me though, once you get to that point with someone hopefully you're mature enough to realize that some noises and spills are kind of how the body works.

ElBarto79: I dated a girl that frequently farted, loudly, when she climaxed. If nothing else at least I could be fairly certain she wasn't faking. Never really bothered me though, once you get to that point with someone hopefully you're mature enough to realize that some noises and spills are kind of how the body works.

I know it's overused...but ^this.

Seriously, good sex isn't antiseptically clean....or quiet....

mcwehrle: We should party. Do you like goat? I'm doing all the usual suspects, but I'm also doing goat.....

I haven't been to one of those parties since Tijuana.

LDM90: If you wash your ass, it's as clean as your face so what does it matter which end of the towel dries your face? Unless you're sticking the towel up your asshole with the towel or something.

elev8meL8r: mcwehrle: We should party. Do you like goat? I'm doing all the usual suspects, but I'm also doing goat.....

I haven't been to one of those parties since Tijuana.

until I reread what I wrote....I didn't realize it sounded that bad.......


COOKING! I'm COOKING goat!!!!


:P

/and that's why I have you fav'd as "witty"
//I hope you like light blue....

jtown: Should I Stay Mum About Paying Off My Home?

Throw a lovely summer party and keep the reason for the celebration private. You don't need an excuse to have friends over for food and drink. But tapping on a glass to announce, "The reason I've gathered you all here is to raise a toast to the fact that I have paid off my mortgage at an accelerated rate," will definitely be hard for everyone else to swallow.

What the fark is this shiat? I don't have a single friend/relative from dirt poor to obscenely wealthy who wouldn't be absolutely thrilled to know I'm doing well financially. Especially in this economy. Especially if I'm inviting them to celebrate with booze and BBQ. The wealthy ones would be happy that I'm all bootstrappy and the poor ones would want to know how I did it so they can try it themselves.

Hells yeah. Especially if you "spin" the party as an old-fashioned, depression-era mortgage-burning. It's not about bragging. It's about sharing that something good is happening to/for somebody.

When God made Adam and Eve, He had trouble deciding what parts to give who. So he let both try on the vagina.

Eve said, "Damn. One more thing to keep clean."

Adam said, "Cool! I can fart in harmony!"

jtown: Your junkal region is full of bacteria no matter how well you wash. Well, it's all over your body no matter how well you wash but it's much more concentrated around your ass and junk. And you definitely don't want to be mixing your ass bacteria and mouth bacteria. That's why you should never go ATM.

Thanks. I'll stop that bad habit I have of chewing on my towel after i shower.

Q. Embarrassing Body Sounds: person should go out with
Q. Sounding Off: 's wife !!! they'd be perfect for each other.

jtown: phedex: jtown: Should I Stay Mum About Paying Off My Home?

Throw a lovely summer party and keep the reason for the celebration private. You don't need an excuse to have friends over for food and drink. But tapping on a glass to announce, "The reason I've gathered you all here is to raise a toast to the fact that I have paid off my mortgage at an accelerated rate," will definitely be hard for everyone else to swallow.

What the fark is this shiat? I don't have a single friend/relative from dirt poor to obscenely wealthy who wouldn't be absolutely thrilled to know I'm doing well financially. Especially in this economy. Especially if I'm inviting them to celebrate with booze and BBQ. The wealthy ones would be happy that I'm all bootstrappy and the poor ones would want to know how I did it so they can try it themselves.

I dont have a single relative that wouldnt use it as an excuse to ask me for money. Furthermore, its kind of garish to have a party to basically brag to everyone about how well you are doing, because thats pretty much what it amounts to.

So I guess I should be ashamed of success? I'll make sure I don't invite you to my party. The rest of us will be having a good time while you mope that nobody ever gave you a chance. I guess we should eliminate bachelor/bachelorette parties because people who don't have a committed partner might feel bad. Same with baby showers. From now on, all celebration of achievement shall be banned so nobody gets butthurt.

Sorry, buddy, I'm not going to be ashamed of my success and I'm not going to pretend that I'm living hand-to-mouth. I'm comfortable, I'm happy, and I don't care who knows it. And not one of my friends or family members has tried to bum a dime off me. Maybe you need a better class of friends and family.

Hey, Im successful too. I have a great job and no money problems. That doesnt mean I go out of the way to verbalize it to my friends and family; Maybe we come from different kinds of families. A lot of people in mine have retail jobs and barely make ends meet. Lots of alcoholism. middle aged with no real pathway left to success. almost none of my extended family went to college and did anything more than get by, and holidays/get togethers are people talking about how they struggle.

I'd just rather not put that sort of things in their faces, that I've built a good life, and if I make some achievement I prefer to just be satisfied with it and not go out of my way to tell people what I do. It doesnt mean I dont love them anyways, but maybe if you have a successful family circle then its common to toast each other. Its just not how it works in mine.

phedex: Hey, Im successful too. I have a great job and no money problems. That doesnt mean I go out of the way to verbalize it to my friends and family; Maybe we come from different kinds of families. A lot of people in mine have retail jobs and barely make ends meet. Lots of alcoholism. middle aged with no real pathway left to success. almost none of my extended family went to college and did anything more than get by, and holidays/get togethers are people talking about how they struggle.

I'd just rather not put that sort of things in their faces, that I've built a good life, and if I make some achievement I prefer to just be satisfied with it and not go out of my way to tell people what I do. It doesnt mean I dont love them anyways, but maybe if you have a successful family circle then its common to toast each other. Its just not how it works in mine.

People are different. It just comes down to being thoughtful. And it can be all in how you do it.

Some things might always come across as bragging. Some things might always be too much tragedy to share with most people. Some things might always be okay to share as simple good news, or a simple bummer.

And some things may be in that middle ground of how you spin it, who you spin it to, and how good you are at putting spin on a story.

Spin has a bad reputation as manipulation, but the way I'm using it here I just mean being thoughtful. If you've got to catch someone up on your bad news, trying not to bum them out too bad. If you've got any good news, seeing if there's a time and a place you can share any of it that it can perk somebody else up.

You know, deliver your good news in some way that makes it seem like things are looking up and something good is more likely to happen to or for whoever it is you're talking to. As long as I can do it without ending up sounding like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm or like I'm auditioning for Annie.

I'm farting right now, and it smells like a dead possum, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

The only person I've ever heard express that opinion about adoption wasn't a racist, but a very smug women's studies (and later public health) student.