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(Short List)   Because you'll never fly Virgin Atlantic First Class, you'd never find out that their ice cubes are now shaped like Richard Branson's head. Hence this greenlight. You're very welcome   (shortlist.com) divider line 63
    More: Spiffy, Virgin Atlantic First Class, Virgin Atlantic, Richard Branson, chill out  
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7348 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2012 at 11:33 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-01 09:27:09 AM
He is one bad day away from turning into a full on Bond villian.
My Lamborghini garage burned down? Fark this I creating a laser to blow up the moon!
 
2012-05-01 09:59:01 AM
Compared to US domestic carriers every seat on a Virgin Atlantic is First Class.
 
2012-05-01 11:35:01 AM
I love the hell out of Virgin Atlantic, but those ice cubes are creepy as fark, and I would not want them anywhere near my drink.
 
2012-05-01 11:35:28 AM
I thought he sold off Virgin Atlantic?
 
2012-05-01 11:37:10 AM
FTFA: As you relax at the bar with your glass of scotch, you might notice something rather intriguing about your ice cubes

WRONG!!!
 
2012-05-01 11:37:21 AM

NuttierThanEver: He is one bad day away from turning into a full on Bond villian.
My Lamborghini garage burned down? Fark this I creating a laser to blow up the moon!


He already has access to space travel...
 
2012-05-01 11:38:15 AM
ByOwlLight

I love the hell out of Virgin Atlantic, but those ice cubes are creepy as fark, and I would not want them anywhere near my drink.

oh FFS

/frozenbransonheadphobia?
 
2012-05-01 11:39:36 AM
Virgin Upper Class is not even close to the best airline service out there. But it's the only one with an "in-flight beauty therapist".
 
2012-05-01 11:40:34 AM
I'm not really interested in having Branson ice cubes, but where can I get personalized ice cube molds?
 
2012-05-01 11:40:46 AM
You would think ice cube butt licks would feel good. They are painful & unpleasant.
Free Protip: Keep ice cubes away from your rectum

Drugs. Is there anything you can't do?
 
2012-05-01 11:41:23 AM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Compared to US domestic carriers every seat on a Virgin Atlantic is First Class.


The same could be said of most of your international carriers who treat the passengers as more than just hearding cattle.
 
2012-05-01 11:41:57 AM
Certainly, the elite humans such as yourselves shall not be forced to consider seating with mangy and unkempt commoners. Accordingly, you shall drink only the finest beverages created for our kind, atop premium shaped ice designated for our superiority. And yes, if you look closely, weve replaced the ugly cube design used by the commoner, in order to further highlight your exceptional treatment aboard Virgin Atlantic. Indeed, the ice is now shaped in the likeness of the ever so handsome CEO of this company. No superior Virgin Atlantic 1st class humans will be forced to drink commoner chilled swill again!
 
2012-05-01 11:42:19 AM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Compared to US domestic carriers every seat on a Virgin Atlantic is First Class.




Even Virgin America is very nice. For a minor upgrade fee you get free access to a nifty touch screen (with movies and shows too) where you can order your adult beverage of choice, those kick ass PB&J sandwich thingies, Pringles (goddamn) and other snacks. They bring it right to you quickly and if you time it right you're gurgling the last remnants of that Jack and Coke and *poof* another one appears like magic. It's a recipe for a wonderful disaster.

The seats are more comfortable, lighting is much more pleasant, FA's are fantastic and actually appreciate you being there but most of all you tend to not get the "I fly once every 6 years to nana's so I'll treat you like crap" people you see on Cattle Car Airways.

They are expanding a bit but I wish they had more routes in the US as the only time I fly VAmerica is for work when I head to SFO from IAD. One day soon perhaps.
 
2012-05-01 11:43:44 AM
If they were large enough to match his ego, they'd be huge enough to sink ships all over the place.
 
2012-05-01 11:43:44 AM
D_Evans45

Certainly, the elite humans such as yourselves shall not be forced to consider seating with mangy and unkempt commoners. Accordingly, you shall drink only the finest beverages created for our kind, atop premium shaped ice designated for our superiority. And yes, if you look closely, weve replaced the ugly cube design used by the commoner, in order to further highlight your exceptional treatment aboard Virgin Atlantic. Indeed, the ice is now shaped in the likeness of the ever so handsome CEO of this company. No superior Virgin Atlantic 1st class humans will be forced to drink commoner chilled swill again!

cognitivelibertyuk.files.wordpress.com
"U mad bro"
 
2012-05-01 11:44:21 AM
 
2012-05-01 11:44:54 AM
Fly economy on Cathay, JAL, Emirates or some other premier non-US carrier and the service is pretty awesome. The stewardesses are hot and the food aint bad either. Oh, and booze? All you can drink, including spirits.

If you are on a new plane, very likely on the above carriers, - the new seat arrangement is 3 - 3 - 3 (instead of the old 2 - 5 - 2) which makes total sense and the seats are simply bigger in space. I mean yeah sure I'd like to fly business or 1st all the time, but economy on these carriers is actually enjoyable.

When flying international, fark US carriers. Fark 'em hard.
 
2012-05-01 11:45:22 AM

NuttierThanEver: He is one bad day away from turning into a full on Bond villian.


Nah, he's more like Zaphod Beeblebrox. Any mayhem and destruction he causes will merely be the side-effects of a really good party (to which you weren't invited).
 
2012-05-01 11:46:13 AM
NuttierThanEver
He is one bad day away from turning into a full on Bond villian.
My Lamborghini garage burned down? Fark this I creating a laser to blow up the moon!


Hank Scorpio

images.wikia.com
 
2012-05-01 11:48:29 AM

Honest Bender: I thought he sold off Virgin Atlantic?


He did. That's what makes it so creepy.
 
2012-05-01 11:49:25 AM
I'll take the creepy ice cubes over the whiners back in coach that complain whenever you try to recline your seat.
 
2012-05-01 11:51:17 AM

SirEattonHogg: Fly economy on Cathay, JAL, Emirates or some other premier non-US carrier and the service is pretty awesome. The stewardesses are hot and the food aint bad either. Oh, and booze? All you can drink, including spirits.

If you are on a new plane, very likely on the above carriers, - the new seat arrangement is 3 - 3 - 3 (instead of the old 2 - 5 - 2) which makes total sense and the seats are simply bigger in space. I mean yeah sure I'd like to fly business or 1st all the time, but economy on these carriers is actually enjoyable.

When flying international, fark US carriers. Fark 'em hard.


Cathay. Oh I how love flying Cathay.
 
2012-05-01 11:52:10 AM
I may have never flown on Virgin first class, but I'd rather have my drinks with my Gin and Titonic ice cubes in the comfort of my own home. I highly respect Branson as a businessman but I'd rather not see his face every time I lean in to sip on my drink.

26.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-05-01 11:52:52 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk


And served up by your favorite Batman villain!
 
2012-05-01 11:52:57 AM

D_Evans45: Certainly, the elite humans such as yourselves shall not be forced to consider seating with mangy and unkempt commoners. Accordingly, you shall drink only the finest beverages created for our kind, atop premium shaped ice designated for our superiority. And yes, if you look closely, weve replaced the ugly cube design used by the commoner, in order to further highlight your exceptional treatment aboard Virgin Atlantic. Indeed, the ice is now shaped in the likeness of the ever so handsome CEO of this company. No superior Virgin Atlantic 1st class humans will be forced to drink commoner chilled swill again!


You seem to imply some sort of discrimination is happening here. I assure you all are welcome to fly upper class.

You just have to pay for it.
 
2012-05-01 11:53:46 AM

Dahnkster: You would think ice cube butt licks would feel good. They are painful & unpleasant.
Free Protip: Keep ice cubes away from your rectum

Drugs. Is there anything you can't do?


www.tinygif.com
 
2012-05-01 11:53:48 AM
MELT THE RICH
 
2012-05-01 11:55:13 AM
Not this is top-shelf attention whoring!
 
2012-05-01 11:55:29 AM
Wow.

That's just nutty.

/have never flown
 
2012-05-01 11:58:48 AM
Coach_J 2012-05-01 11:51:17 AM


SirEattonHogg: Fly economy on Cathay, JAL, Emirates or some other premier non-US carrier and the service is pretty awesome. The stewardesses are hot and the food aint bad either. Oh, and booze? All you can drink, including spirits.

If you are on a new plane, very likely on the above carriers, - the new seat arrangement is 3 - 3 - 3 (instead of the old 2 - 5 - 2) which makes total sense and the seats are simply bigger in space. I mean yeah sure I'd like to fly business or 1st all the time, but economy on these carriers is actually enjoyable.

When flying international, fark US carriers. Fark 'em hard.

Cathay. Oh I how love flying Cathay.


Flew them a few months ago for the first time. Cathay is my favorite.
 
2012-05-01 12:00:03 PM

JackieRabbit: Not this is top-shelf attention whoring!


I know.

It gives me something to shoot for.
 
2012-05-01 12:01:34 PM

Enormous-Schwanstucker: Even Virgin America is very nice. For a minor upgrade fee you get free access to a nifty touch screen (with movies and shows too) where you can order your adult beverage of choice, those kick ass PB&J sandwich thingies, Pringles (goddamn) and other snacks. They bring it right to you quickly and if you time it right you're gurgling the last remnants of that Jack and Coke and *poof* another one appears like magic. It's a recipe for a wonderful disaster.


Same happens with SAS without the up grade fee. Got a wonderful wine buzz going and never knew how many bottles I drank.

farking two glass bottles! slowing down the inebriation....

/tv also came with a game remote so the kiddies had something to do.
//only one problem, you have to fly though Copenhagen
 
2012-05-01 12:02:12 PM
Now that's an ego!

SultanofSchwing
FTFA: As you relax at the bar with your glass of scotch, you might notice something rather intriguing about your ice cubes

WRONG!!!


THIS!!!
/room temperature water, you farking philistines!
 
2012-05-01 12:03:22 PM
www.service-1.org
/got nuthin
 
2012-05-01 12:04:47 PM
Couple of things:

1 - unless things have changed recently Virgin does not have a "First Class". They have economy, premium economy and upper class.

2 - upper class is AWESOME. I've flown London - Hong Kong and London - Boston. Got hugely drunk sitting at the bar on the flight to HK and woke up with some pieces of paper with handwritten Chinese writing on it. I remember asking the stewardesses for recommendations of where to go/eat in HK and they had written them for me, but as I couldn't remember exactly how ridiculously drunk I'd been I didn't use the info...thought that if I handed it to a cab driver and said take me here it might read "Please throw this pervert into the harbour".

Seriously, there is a bar you can sit at onboard and they even let you pour your own drinks if it's the middle of the night. I also recall that I grabbed handfuls of the complimentary chocolates to take home to my wife, only I put them in my trouser pockets and slept on them, waking up with two pockets full of melted deliciousness.

They turn down your bed for you and give you pyjamas.

They bring you freshly made eggs benedict and cocktails in the lounge before you fly.

They have their own entrance ramp at Heathrow that drops you at a private checkin, with private security lane, after which you scan your boarding pass at a frosted glass door to get into the lounge.

Oh, and limousine transfers are included in the cost of some of the tickets....

I absolutely love it.

Oh, and individual herringbone config seats where you can sit with your feet up during takeoff.

/don't have that job any more
//or indeed any job
///will never be able to afford to fly like that again....
 
2012-05-01 12:05:25 PM
Hasn't most of what he's done been a total failure aside from his early recording co deals? He's like a cooler Donald Trump. The only thing that makes money is his name and other people using it.
 
2012-05-01 12:12:45 PM
Best comment from TFA:
stewardess, that isn't what I had in mind when I asked for a little head...
 
GBB
2012-05-01 12:15:20 PM

Pert: Couple of things:

1 - unless things have changed recently Virgin does not have a "First Class". They have economy, premium economy and upper class.

2 - upper class is AWESOME. I've flown London - Hong Kong and London - Boston. Got hugely drunk sitting at the bar on the flight to HK and woke up with some pieces of paper with handwritten Chinese writing on it. I remember asking the stewardesses for recommendations of where to go/eat in HK and they had written them for me, but as I couldn't remember exactly how ridiculously drunk I'd been I didn't use the info...thought that if I handed it to a cab driver and said take me here it might read "Please throw this pervert into the harbour".

Seriously, there is a bar you can sit at onboard and they even let you pour your own drinks if it's the middle of the night. I also recall that I grabbed handfuls of the complimentary chocolates to take home to my wife, only I put them in my trouser pockets and slept on them, waking up with two pockets full of melted deliciousness.

They turn down your bed for you and give you pyjamas.

They bring you freshly made eggs benedict and cocktails in the lounge before you fly.

They have their own entrance ramp at Heathrow that drops you at a private checkin, with private security lane, after which you scan your boarding pass at a frosted glass door to get into the lounge.

Oh, and limousine transfers are included in the cost of some of the tickets....

I absolutely love it.

Oh, and individual herringbone config seats where you can sit with your feet up during takeoff.

/don't have that job any more
//or indeed any job
///will never be able to afford to fly like that again....


t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-05-01 12:18:36 PM
Flying to Europe on Virgin is like:
www.charterpass.com

Flying back home to America on Delta is like:
4angle.com
 
2012-05-01 12:21:28 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Same happens with SAS without the up grade fee. Got a wonderful wine buzz going and never knew how many bottles I drank.

farking two glass bottles! slowing down the inebriation....

/tv also came with a game remote so the kiddies had something to do.
//only one problem, you have to fly though Copenhagen


I thought about that too but I guess storage and consumption of large bottles is a problem. Last time I flew through Copenhagen I was passed out asleep and even slept through the layover. Is it that bad?
 
2012-05-01 12:22:06 PM

T.M.S.: D_Evans45: ...

You seem to imply some sort of discrimination is happening here. I assure you all are welcome to fly upper class.

You just have to pay for it.


Or, you are just an idiot who deduces claims of discrimination where absolutely none exist. Go ahead and read the post again, champ, and then brush up on your reading comprehension.
 
2012-05-01 12:30:17 PM

patrick767: Now that's an ego!

SultanofSchwing
FTFA: As you relax at the bar with your glass of scotch, you might notice something rather intriguing about your ice cubes

WRONG!!!

THIS!!!
/room temperature water, you farking philistines!


I love how people say you're supposed to do this or that, like this or that, when I've "made it". When I'm sitting in first class, I'm going to drink my Scotch however I damn want to. There's too many things in life to "do right", so it's better to just do what you like and screw everyone else still trying to drag you down.
 
2012-05-01 12:34:18 PM

SirEattonHogg: Fly economy on Cathay, JAL, Emirates or some other premier non-US carrier and the service is pretty awesome. The stewardesses are hot and the food aint bad either. Oh, and booze? All you can drink, including spirits.


I have flown from Tokyo to Bangkok on Thai Airways on several occassions and even their Coach service is better than American Airline's first class service.
 
2012-05-01 12:57:13 PM
Some years ago I was late checking in on a flight from JFK to heathrow and flying virgin economy. When I got to the check in counter there was a total douchenozzle doing his best "do you know who I am" - well they bumped him off the flight cuz he had luggage or something. I was next in line with a smile and a "boy was that guy a cock" - they nice counter attendant smiled slyly and gave me his seat in upperclass.

/true story

//protip:: if you ever find yourself in virgin upperclass after seven or eight Glenmorangies and the inflight masseuse comes round, let them know youre quite drunk and to lay off the shiatsu scalp massage. Instant airsickness.
 
2012-05-01 12:57:39 PM
I was wondering if you could get them in a filled-with-[spirit of your choice]-inside version, but it it turns out they're just full of themselves.
 
2012-05-01 01:00:19 PM
My wife flew on the Concorde. Said it was cramped, but she did arrive in London in time for lunch.

3.5 hours JFK-Gatwick.
 
2012-05-01 01:14:01 PM

patrick767: Now that's an ego!

SultanofSchwing
FTFA: As you relax at the bar with your glass of scotch, you might notice something rather intriguing about your ice cubes

WRONG!!!

THIS!!!
/room temperature water, you farking philistines!


The only thing that should ever be added to a glass of scotch is more scotch, lots more.

/water if you're a sissy!
 
2012-05-01 01:14:30 PM
WTF IS WITH HER EYE DILATION?!?!?!?!?!

farking creepy.
 
2012-05-01 01:14:39 PM
Ehh... I suppose those ice cubes look like him... sorta...
farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2012-05-01 01:15:53 PM
UAE is the single most luxurious commercial airline in the world.

The lounge has a self serve champaign bar that starts with Dom and works its way down.

The food is indescribable. Including the full raw bar.

Separate jet way and as soon as they gather your bags you are whisked into a waiting Esclade with black tinted windows.
 
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