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(Stuff.co.nz)   The New Zealand Advertising Standards Authority would like you all to know that Jesus doesn't heal cancer. Carry on   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 94
    More: Obvious, advertising standards, moderation system, cancers  
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2012-04-30 09:07:47 PM
27.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-04-30 10:02:54 PM
The New Zealand Advertising Standards Authority would like you all to know that Jesus doesn't heal cancer.

That's just because if he cured your cancer, then he'd be robbing you of the satisfaction of working hard to struggle to live while a debilitating diseases slowly eats away at you, and that satisfaction is one of life's greatest rewards. Ask anyone who has ever had to deal with cancer, and I'm sure they'll agree. Because Jesus loves you.

/anyone seen my fishin' pole?
 
2012-04-30 10:10:59 PM
pfft...

/Everyone knows the real money is in treatments, not cures
 
2012-04-30 10:20:23 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: pfft...

/Everyone knows the real money is in treatments, not cures


I LOL'd
 
2012-04-30 10:24:18 PM
Signs like that are everywhere in the South. At least New Zealanders have enough brains to shut down that idiocy before it spreads.
 
2012-04-30 10:24:41 PM
He doesn't heal cancer, but he totally could if he wanted to.
 
2012-04-30 10:26:28 PM
FTA - "As the mother of a three-year-old boy who has spent the past 18 months fighting against leukaemia, I find the above billboard offensive and upsetting," the complainant, identified only as Jody Condin, wrote."

Well obviously you aren't praying hard enough, lady.
 
2012-04-30 10:27:07 PM
[jesusstolemyheroin.jpg]
 
2012-04-30 10:27:43 PM
No, he only peddles cancer insurance

1.bp.blogspot.com

/DNRTA
 
2012-04-30 10:27:51 PM
It would be very interesting to have something like this go to court in the US, what with all the "religious freedom" when it comes to determining what health services to offer people.
 
2012-04-30 10:28:30 PM
 
2012-04-30 10:29:12 PM
www.boredville.com
 
2012-04-30 10:31:01 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Jesus doesn't cure leukemia. He cures the cancer of eternal damnation


29.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-04-30 10:33:08 PM

ox45tallboy: It would be very interesting to have something like this go to court in the US, what with all the "religious freedom" when it comes to determining what health services to offer people.


court
religion
freedom
health services

You covered hectares of territory there. Unclear whether I should applaud or cringe?
 
2012-04-30 10:34:20 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: The problem is that Jesus cures cancer of the soul.

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

There is none righteous, no, not one

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Jesus doesn't cure leukemia. He cures the cancer of eternal damnation.


That was really retarded, I hope you are joking.
 
2012-04-30 10:34:46 PM
No, but he does a great job of curing my lawn of weeds.
 
2012-04-30 10:35:51 PM

Jixa: FTA - "As the mother of a three-year-old boy who has spent the past 18 months fighting against leukaemia, I find the above billboard offensive and upsetting," the complainant, identified only as Jody Condin, wrote."

Well obviously you aren't praying hard enough, lady.


www.demotivationalposters.org
 
2012-04-30 10:38:34 PM
Jesus cured my ham.
 
2012-04-30 10:38:53 PM
What do people think He is? A miracle worker?
 
2012-04-30 10:38:56 PM
www.gamesprays.com
 
2012-04-30 10:39:20 PM
Historically Inaccurate But More Appealing to European-Descended Americans Blonde Baby Jeebus is still smiling.

www.feelslikehomeblog.com
 
2012-04-30 10:41:05 PM

RibbyK: ox45tallboy: It would be very interesting to have something like this go to court in the US, what with all the "religious freedom" when it comes to determining what health services to offer people.

court
religion
freedom
health services

You covered hectares of territory there. Unclear whether I should applaud or cringe?


Well, taxes these days are kind of like playing the lotto: you're not going to win, but watching a bunch of numbskulls fight over the money is worth every cent.
 
2012-04-30 10:41:39 PM
WHUT ABOUT THE OTHE STUFF CAN HE FIX THAT?
 
2012-04-30 10:41:39 PM
We knew this, but thanks. He's been dead a couple thousand years, so it was probably safe to assume he doesn't cure a lot of diseases.

Cheers.
 
2012-04-30 10:42:19 PM
I wonder if this would get taken down in the US?
 
2012-04-30 10:42:33 PM
cdn-www.i-am-bored.com
 
2012-04-30 10:43:21 PM

Mr. Potatoass: Jesus cured my ham.


1.bp.blogspot.com

/wait a minute, Jesus was a Jew.
 
2012-04-30 10:43:23 PM
I wish we could get the nutjobs in the US to stop putting up billboards that claim abortions cause breast cancer.
 
2012-04-30 10:44:14 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: The problem is that Jesus cures cancer of the soul.

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

There is none righteous, no, not one

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Jesus doesn't cure leukemia. He cures the cancer of eternal damnation.


Jesus heals cancer and leukemia all the time. However, Jesus has never healed an adult amputee by allowing their limb to grow back. Not once, in any scientific journal or historical account. 100% non-heal rate of amputees.

Because if Jesus healed an amputee it would be tangible proof of his existence and reduce faith to nothingness. But if it does happen, its because of Zeus's divine providence or the next step in human evolution.

/ Still can't explain how Jesus heals so many cancer survivors...
// Mysterious ways
/// It's all right
 
2012-04-30 10:44:14 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: The problem is that Jesus cures cancer of the soul.

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

There is none righteous, no, not one

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Jesus doesn't cure leukemia. He cures the cancer of eternal damnation.


You logged into the wrong account, Bevets.
 
2012-04-30 10:44:53 PM

andersoncouncil42: I wish we could get the nutjobs in the US to stop putting up billboards that claim abortions cause breast cancer.


www.jillstanek.com
 
2012-04-30 10:45:15 PM

Mr. Potatoass: Jesus cured my ham.


Hell of a trick considering he's Jewish!
 
2012-04-30 10:46:26 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: The problem is that Jesus cures cancer of the soul.

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

There is none righteous, no, not one

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Jesus doesn't cure leukemia. He cures the cancer of eternal damnation.


Jesus mows my neighbor's lawn. He cures the cancer of dandelions.
 
2012-04-30 10:46:46 PM

andersoncouncil42: I wish we could get the nutjobs in the US to stop putting up billboards that claim abortions cause breast cancer.


farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2012-04-30 10:47:14 PM

ox45tallboy: andersoncouncil42: I wish we could get the nutjobs in the US to stop putting up billboards that claim abortions cause breast cancer.

[www.jillstanek.com image 640x422]


you do realize that ain't real?
 
2012-04-30 10:48:56 PM
FTW: Cancer heals the world of people.
 
2012-04-30 10:49:42 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: The problem is that Jesus cures cancer of the soul.

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

There is none righteous, no, not one

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Jesus doesn't cure leukemia. He cures the cancer of eternal damnation.


Kinda sounds like you are blaming cancer patients for being sinners and that's why they got the cancer.

I realize that the "wages of sin" refer to original sin but that has always seemed like a dick move on god's part to me. The original people screwed up so I'll just punish everyone ever born from now on.

/The wages of sin are a bad reputation and too many friends
 
2012-04-30 10:49:52 PM
In the US, foods such as breakfast cereals claiming health benefits must get FDA approval to advertise this.

Why shouldn't churches that claim "Jesus cures disease" have to get FDA approval?
 
2012-04-30 10:50:02 PM

rebelyell2006: AverageAmericanGuy:... Jesus doesn't cure leukemia. He cures the cancer of eternal damnation.

You logged into the wrong account, Bevets.


Ehh, this one was kind of friendly compared to Bevets. There's more than one bible thumper on Fark, and he's agreeing with the condemnation of people offering faith cures for cancer.

/I cure cancer with a solution of salt and salt peter
 
2012-04-30 10:50:40 PM
But he does bring us food.

i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-04-30 10:50:42 PM
www.forkparty.com
 
2012-04-30 10:52:25 PM

ox45tallboy: In the US, foods such as breakfast cereals claiming health benefits must get FDA approval to advertise this.

Why shouldn't churches that claim "Jesus cures disease" have to get FDA approval?


farm1.static.flickr.com

This.
 
2012-04-30 10:52:33 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Jesus doesn't cure leukemia. He cures the cancer of eternal damnation.


I hear goji berries are good for that, too.
 
2012-04-30 10:53:59 PM
The kind of people who believe that Jesus will cure their cancer are exactly the kind of people I want dying from cancer.

/cancer survivor
 
2012-04-30 10:54:54 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.


Good thing that I do not sin.
 
2012-04-30 10:58:05 PM

thesubliminalman: ox45tallboy: andersoncouncil42: I wish we could get the nutjobs in the US to stop putting up billboards that claim abortions cause breast cancer.

[www.jillstanek.com image 640x422]

you do realize that ain't real?


I don't know the story behind it, supposedly it was in Waco, TX. Here's a link to the story I found it on.

Here's the press release from the Coalition on Abortion and Breast Cancer, which is located on the site referenced on the billboard.

For the record, I am in no way, shape, form or fashion AT ALL saying I believe this. I have no opinion on it whatsoever, and, as far as abortion goes, it's a subject best left to the womenfolk to decide.

I'm only responding to show that it seems the billboard is (was) actually there, not that I believe there is any kind of link between abortion and breast cancer.
 
2012-04-30 10:58:08 PM

Heamer: The kind of people who believe that Jesus will cure their cancer are exactly the kind of people I want dying from cancer.

/cancer survivor


I'm glad you wrote that because I was thinking it and didn't want to come across as an asshole.

/err
 
2012-04-30 10:58:39 PM
Not sure how this would get ruled on in the U.S. Saying "Jesus heals cancer" is clearly in First Amendment territory but advertising that a church heals cancer is not. A claim about what Jesus does is not testable but a claim that church membership results in cancer being cured is.
 
2012-04-30 10:59:16 PM
Smoking kills people, but it cures ham.
 
2012-04-30 10:59:19 PM

ox45tallboy: andersoncouncil42: I wish we could get the nutjobs in the US to stop putting up billboards that claim abortions cause breast cancer.

[www.jillstanek.com image 640x422]


I like how they re-state a misheard answer to a question no one asked

media.onsugar.com
 
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