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(Reuters)   Eat all the bacon flavored pork rinds you want. If you are optimistic, you can't get heart disease   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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1899 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2001 at 11:50 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

32 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-11-13 11:53:38 AM  
does this mean that my being a sarcastic asshole will make me die faster?


I hate living, it sucks.
2001-11-13 12:06:33 PM  
Remember to be optimistic when you get that tight, burning feeling in your heart and cripping pain starts shooting down your heart.

Most importantly, don't call 911, because that would be pesimistic.
2001-11-13 12:07:08 PM  
Bacon flavored? I much prefer the "hot & spicey" ones from Frito-Lay.

2001-11-13 12:07:59 PM  
2001-11-13 12:08:10 PM  
If I would even look at bacon flovored pork rinds my heart would explode. I can't express optimism for foods that will kill me quicker than crack cocaine does.
2001-11-13 12:13:27 PM  
Everybody knows the bacon, beef and cheddar flavored pork rind combo pack is far surperior to the plain bacon flavored pork rinds. If they don't, the terrorists have already won.
2001-11-13 12:16:03 PM  
Another vote for the hot and spicy ones. The best ones are in the Mexican food section.
2001-11-13 12:17:24 PM  
Has it occoured to anyone else that the power of positive thinking doesn't work if you don't think positively about positive thinking?

My lack of optimism for positive thinking makes all other attempts at positive thinking null and void and since I don't currently have any optimism for positive thinking its impossible for me to think positively about positive thinking so I'm pretty much farked.
2001-11-13 12:19:34 PM  
Ever hear of a low-carb diet? look it up some time.
2001-11-13 12:23:13 PM  
As Fb- would say "If we eat a low carb diet, then the terrorists have already won."
2001-11-13 12:24:17 PM  
mmmmmmmmmmm pork rinds

mmmmmmmmmmm polygamy beer
2001-11-13 12:39:27 PM  
I think pork rinds are okay on the low-carb diets which btw WORK. I've actually gained weight on low-fat.

Mr804--I tell you it works! You may feel like crap the first couple of days on Atkins while your body switches from burning carbs to burning stored fat, but after that you feel energetic and you can think more clearly! And fat IS your friend! If you eat nothing but fat and protein and next to no carbohydrates (or a limited amount) it's actually good for you and it does clean out your arteries. The AMA has a hard time believing this one...but you figure they recommend 11 bread servings a day (MAJOR carbs) and around the same time diabetes cases goes up...figure THAT out!

Bad carbs! Bad! Bad bad bad!
2001-11-13 12:39:35 PM  
I prefer a block of raw lard.
2001-11-13 12:44:59 PM  
AHH NaTaX - Polygamy porter!!!
2001-11-13 12:50:03 PM  

I'm big into the low carb too, but I still avoid red meat.

You are right though, eating low carb feels like crap for 2-3 days then you feel like dynomite. I only hit the carbs on weekends when I'm doing something like a long hike and a swim where I'll need the instant energy.
2001-11-13 12:58:03 PM  
Everybody's motabolism works differently. Nuff said.
2001-11-13 01:04:05 PM  
In my day if you wanted to lose weight then you stopped eating AS MUCH food and ate a variety. These "low carb" and "low fat" and all those stupid diets are just fads. NOBODY can stick to them for life. Eat sensibly. Just not as much. Very simple. Consume less calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That diet you describe (LadyAlexa) sounds like a complete crock. Sure! Eat up those pork rinds and soon you'll look like a supermodel. Keep telling yourself that. *sigh*
2001-11-13 01:14:19 PM  
What if you're pretty optimistic that you will have a heart attack, hmmmm?
2001-11-13 01:49:46 PM  
I could have the perfect body by eating fatty foods to slim down and thinking about exercise to gain muscle tone? yay!
2001-11-13 02:30:55 PM  
Shaggie--Check out I tell you what I was losing farking 5 pounds a week! And fitting into smaller-sized jeans! This is NOT a crock and it's not one of those fad diets. And it's proven to work. It may sound strange but that's because people are so used to "low-fat" being foisted on them that to them anything else is heresy. Gotta break outta that box!

I know what I'm talking about.
2001-11-13 02:30:59 PM  
You guys obviously don't remember yesterday's post. You can get buff by imagining excercise. That's sad, because if you don't remember that, the terrorists have already won.
2001-11-13 02:45:24 PM  
JIMI JIMI: I'm not positive that's a positive way to think...and I'm not positive about that!

My lack of pessimism for all things related to optimism is only overidden by my wonder at the fatalistic deserving attitiude of my inner self whilst gazing at my navel.

And if that's not true, then the terrorists have already won.

I also eat pork rinds and have the body of a supermodel, because I think about exercise and that gives me body tone as well and that's why the terrorists have not already won.
2001-11-13 02:55:39 PM  
An interesting article. However, I'm just wondering if "optimistic" people are the way the are (psychologically) because of some biochemical/physical precondition. Maybe there's some chicken and egg thing going on here.
2001-11-13 03:16:29 PM  
is there something i'm missing here?
isn't bacon flavored pork rinds oxymoronic, or should i expect to see hamburger flavored beef in the meat counter?
ain't nothing wrong with a jar full of snack food made.

go hawgs
2001-11-13 04:24:52 PM  
I want some ganja flavored herb to smoke..


I guess I have to settle for some cocoa flavored chocolate instead!
2001-11-13 04:38:25 PM  
Those low/no carb diets are great until you send yourself in to ketosis and fark your kidneys. I am a big fan of the microwave pork rinds (look just like microwave popcorn packs, and 33% less fat!). One o those and a few guiness; and youv'e got your own soundtrack.
2001-11-13 05:04:43 PM  
Jalapeno poppers!Poppers!!!Best food on earth!
2001-11-13 05:48:58 PM  
Arrrghh... dying... must... loook.... aghhh... at bright... side.... rrrggghh *thud*
2001-11-13 07:13:53 PM  
I didn't read the article per se, but I do remember our teacher telling us in health class (no sex-ed yet) that optimistic people live longer. Pessimists around the world react with "I knew we're going to die first!"
2001-11-13 07:18:01 PM  
Perception is, in fact reality. Even if you die, you can still think you are alive.
2001-11-13 08:30:54 PM  
If you'd go to the site I mentioned, rather than blasting me, I'd think you'd have a different opinion. Ketosis is where your body burns its stored fat--which is what we want, RIGHT? Well it's gotta get past the carbohydrates first. The trick is to lower the carbohydrate intake enough to where your body does that--or to maintain your weight.

Go to this link.
2001-11-14 01:13:03 PM  
You're right, LadyAlexa. Just keep eating that restricted diet the rest of your life rather than a balanced diet. Your way obviously makes much more sense. I'm stopping on the way home and buying all of the pork rinds and Budweiser I can find. Thanks for showing me the light. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
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