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(Cracked)   Did the parents realize their kid was kidnapped in Monsters, Inc? This is among the Six Disturbing Unanswered Questions from Children's Movies   (cracked.com) divider line 25
    More: Interesting, unanswered questions, The Incredibles, monsters, talking animals, John Ratzenberger, Yeti, pop songs, freaks  
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15545 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Apr 2012 at 7:41 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-30 07:52:25 PM  
6 votes:

Apos: Cracked article? Will. Not. Click.


It's Fark. No one actually clicks the link and reads the article.

Just use the headline to make up what you think the article may be about and comment on said imaginary article.

For hardcore mode, visit Politics.
2012-04-30 11:29:39 PM  
4 votes:

The_Sponge: How come Linus's parents didn't go looking for him when he didn't get back home that night? Were they passed out drunk while Lucy went out to look for him?


I think the answer is pretty obvious. All the adult characters in Charlie Brown are toothless meth-heads. It explains their inability to communicate with children and their odd dialogue, their non-presence, and the fact that the children are most commonly outside or at school. Add in all the subversive behavior: Charlie's depression, Lucy's unpredictable behavior around Charlie and Linus, Marcy and Peppermint Patty's lesbian behavior, the kid who is literally covered in shiat all the time, Snoopy's drug habit which makes him think he's a World War I pilot, Linus's sleeping in a pumpkin patch overnight every Halloween. I mean it all comes down to a complete lack of adult supervision.

Let us not forget "Your Dad's a biatch in Prison Charlie Brown" in which there is an explosion and Charlie's house burns down and the cops show up and arrest his parents, and a poignant scene in which Charlie is on the phone in jail with his Dad, and of course no one can see the Dad's face. And then the very end, when Charlie does a line of coke off the top of Linus's piano and then kills Snoopy for cash which Snoopy doesn't have because he's a dog.
2012-04-30 11:47:19 PM  
3 votes:
My 7 year old brought up a great point yesterday during our Sunday pizza and a movie night- in Human Centipede 2, Martin abducts people in the parking garage but why would he, as an attendant, even be there after hours? He also brought up a huge plot hole in A Serbian Film, but I can't reveal it without giving away spoilers.
2012-04-30 09:36:10 PM  
3 votes:
#1. Rio -- How Is One Pair Supposed to Repopulate an Entire Species?

Christians, you want to field this question?
2012-04-30 06:38:08 PM  
3 votes:
Answer to that article: Because SHUT UP, that's why.
2012-04-30 09:50:38 PM  
2 votes:

Surool: #1. Rio -- How Is One Pair Supposed to Repopulate an Entire Species?

Christians, you want to field this question?


Hey, if a little incest is OK with God and the Lannisters who are we to complain?
2012-04-30 08:29:11 PM  
2 votes:
7. Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder one): Did Charlie manipulate Wonka?

We know that Wonka has the ability to direct the golden tickets where he wants, because his employee (Slugworth) is shown on-site, whispering in the ear of each ticket-finding kid, immediately after the ticket is discovered. We also know that Wonka's tour contains rooms specifically geared towards each child's personal weakness -- Agustus/gluttony/the room of unlimited chocolate; Violet/gum obsession/experimental gum, etc.

But Wonka doesn't have a room particularly targeted towards Charlie's character flaw (i.e. that he's passive/aggressively emotionally manipulative to his extended family -- the "I want to share my birthday chocolate bar with you all" bit, just to get them to insist that he keep it all for himself, etc.). This is likely because Wonka didn't have time to do his recon on Charlie. Remember, Charlie found the ticket the afternoon before the tour, and got it from a random bar purchased at a candy shop, whereas the others got their tickets by buying Wonka bars by the case (making it easier for Wonka to target specific children). In all likelihood, Wonka was aiming for someone else with Charlie's ticket, and dumb luck intervened in favor of Charlie.

So poor Wonka has devised tests to see if any of the kids can overcome their own personality flaws, but he doesn't know enough about Charlie to rig up a test for him. Emotionally-manipulative Charlie puts on this big show of "giving back" his gobstopper, fooling the unwitting Wonka into thinking that he's made some great sacrifice (an everlasting Gobstopper? Big friggin' deal -- the golden ticket entitled the kids to a LIFETIME SUPPLY of chocolate), and tricking Wonka into giving him a big reward.
2012-04-30 08:19:42 PM  
2 votes:

B.L.Z. Bub: Wrong. He was afraid that he would need that third wish in case he was exposed as a fraud ("What if they find out I'm not really a prince? I can't keep this up on my own").


So he is a fraud for wishing to be a prince and his solution is to wish to be a prince a second time?

longtermtourists.com

nmrsnr: The implication is that he was un-princified by most-powerful-sorcerer-in-the-world Jafar. But if you want to debate how Jafar would have enough power to undo what the Genie did, go right ahead.


He tricked Jafar at the end by pointing that the Genie is a million times more powerful than him. This movie makes no sense
2012-04-30 08:00:28 PM  
2 votes:
This is like debating with your kids on how their favorite animated movies suck...just keep asking those hard hitting questions until your own kid calls you a dick. Then, you know you've won as a parent.
2012-04-30 07:21:58 PM  
2 votes:

SnakeLee: What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this


No, he did become a prince wigth the first wish. The third wish was for him to become Prince, so he could marry the Princess.

/she really loved the song When Doves Cry.
2012-04-30 06:48:53 PM  
2 votes:
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."
2012-05-01 11:35:08 AM  
1 votes:

Fano: What are we supposed to do with magical genius rats?


Mop floors?

www.cartoonpicturess.com
2012-05-01 08:59:54 AM  
1 votes:

zappaisfrank: [i.crackedcdn.com image 320x205]

The Penguins were the best part of the Madagascar movies and their series on Nick is awesome!

/luvs me some Penguins!


When they arrive in Antarctica is possibly the greatest single movie quote and scene ever in an animated film.
2012-04-30 10:59:11 PM  
1 votes:
Children's cartoons are fairy tales using a 2-dimensional medium that flashes still photographs onto a flat white screen at 24 frames per second.

I demand realism!
2012-04-30 10:33:00 PM  
1 votes:
7. How did the National Institute for Mental Health do experiments on rats that led to magic powers? What are we supposed to do with magical genius rats?
2012-04-30 10:27:56 PM  
1 votes:
I can tolerate those anomalies, but whenever Sponge Bob, who lives under the sea, blows up a balloon I wanna kill Patrick.
2012-04-30 10:06:50 PM  
1 votes:
If you cheered for Herbie the Love Bug to win the race, does that make you a Nazi sympathizer because it's a German car?

Bambi didn't really have a good mother, did he?

Is there anyone on the planet who wouldn't have stomped on Charlotte in one second?

Wouldn't Hundred Acre Woods be much better off if Winnie the Pooh was dead?
2012-04-30 09:07:24 PM  
1 votes:
If Wall-e really is the same world as Toy Story (Buy-n-Large, Pizza Planet) then does that mean in one of the countless sky scrapers of garbage Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the gang are forever trapped alone? Being crushed for a thousand years.
2012-04-30 09:05:47 PM  
1 votes:

LeroyBourne:

Interesting, and here the whole time I get all up in arms when his bed ridden grandpa jumps out of bed to dance the jig. Really? You've been bed ridden, you're not gonna just jump out like some spring chicken.


He wasn't bedridden, he was old, lazy, and feeling sorry for himself.
2012-04-30 08:36:47 PM  
1 votes:

LeroyBourne: This is like debating with your kids on how their favorite animated movies suck...just keep asking those hard hitting questions until your own kid calls you a dick. Then, you know you've won as a parent.


Bonus points if the kids under 5
2012-04-30 08:22:08 PM  
1 votes:

Fano: Jafar used his phony birth certificate to prove that in fact he was just a lousy lying streetrat, and he did it via a catchy mocking song, which culminated in him being stripped and launched miles away.

Also, a wizard did it


Jafar is a Birther. It all makes sense now
2012-04-30 08:17:34 PM  
1 votes:
LEAVE BOO ALONE!
2012-04-30 07:19:58 PM  
1 votes:
What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this
2012-04-30 07:02:58 PM  
1 votes:

impaler: Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."


But how do they eat and breathe? And other science facts?!?!
2012-04-30 06:07:23 PM  
1 votes:
It's likely that the kid's parents didn't notice her extended absence. Her adventure was the high point in a life filled with neglect and loneliness.
 
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