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(Cracked)   Did the parents realize their kid was kidnapped in Monsters, Inc? This is among the Six Disturbing Unanswered Questions from Children's Movies   (cracked.com) divider line 21
    More: Interesting, unanswered questions, The Incredibles, monsters, talking animals, John Ratzenberger, Yeti, pop songs, freaks  
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15545 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Apr 2012 at 7:41 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-04-30 06:48:53 PM  
3 votes:
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."
2012-04-30 11:29:39 PM  
2 votes:

The_Sponge: How come Linus's parents didn't go looking for him when he didn't get back home that night? Were they passed out drunk while Lucy went out to look for him?


I think the answer is pretty obvious. All the adult characters in Charlie Brown are toothless meth-heads. It explains their inability to communicate with children and their odd dialogue, their non-presence, and the fact that the children are most commonly outside or at school. Add in all the subversive behavior: Charlie's depression, Lucy's unpredictable behavior around Charlie and Linus, Marcy and Peppermint Patty's lesbian behavior, the kid who is literally covered in shiat all the time, Snoopy's drug habit which makes him think he's a World War I pilot, Linus's sleeping in a pumpkin patch overnight every Halloween. I mean it all comes down to a complete lack of adult supervision.

Let us not forget "Your Dad's a biatch in Prison Charlie Brown" in which there is an explosion and Charlie's house burns down and the cops show up and arrest his parents, and a poignant scene in which Charlie is on the phone in jail with his Dad, and of course no one can see the Dad's face. And then the very end, when Charlie does a line of coke off the top of Linus's piano and then kills Snoopy for cash which Snoopy doesn't have because he's a dog.
2012-04-30 09:07:24 PM  
2 votes:
If Wall-e really is the same world as Toy Story (Buy-n-Large, Pizza Planet) then does that mean in one of the countless sky scrapers of garbage Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the gang are forever trapped alone? Being crushed for a thousand years.
2012-04-30 08:58:53 PM  
2 votes:
Uzzah
7. Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder one): Did Charlie manipulate Wonka?


I have to disagree. Wonka did plant a trap for Charlie, attempting to have him cut to pieces in the fan blades of the Fizzy Lifting room.

While all of the other children faced their dooms alone, Wonka surmised that Charlie, through his passive-aggressive tendencies, would use his own grandfather in order to surreptitiously steal fizzy lifting soda. The other children were alone responsible for their own demises...only Charlie had the built-in excuse that he was following his grandfather's guidance. Wonka knew that Charlie would drag the grandfather into the scheme and was willing to sacrifice the grandfather in order to guarantee Charlie's death. Wonka's plan would have worked if is wasn't for that meddling grandfather accidentally belching.

At the end of the movie, Wonka was again foiled when the elevator failed to cut the Bucket family members to ribbons. Wonka ensured that he donned his hat and coat (Kevlar, perhaps?) before entering the elevator, leaving the Buckets with no protection. However, the elevator was either poorly designed or failed to operate as desired and, once again, they escaped unharmed.

Finally, note that, while Wonka assured Charlie that the other children would be returned to their former terrible selves, he offered no evidence that this was true.
2012-04-30 08:43:20 PM  
2 votes:

Uzzah: 7. Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder one): Did Charlie manipulate Wonka?

We know that Wonka has the ability to direct the golden tickets where he wants, because his employee (Slugworth) is shown on-site, whispering in the ear of each ticket-finding kid, immediately after the ticket is discovered. We also know that Wonka's tour contains rooms specifically geared towards each child's personal weakness -- Agustus/gluttony/the room of unlimited chocolate; Violet/gum obsession/experimental gum, etc.

But Wonka doesn't have a room particularly targeted towards Charlie's character flaw (i.e. that he's passive/aggressively emotionally manipulative to his extended family -- the "I want to share my birthday chocolate bar with you all" bit, just to get them to insist that he keep it all for himself, etc.). This is likely because Wonka didn't have time to do his recon on Charlie. Remember, Charlie found the ticket the afternoon before the tour, and got it from a random bar purchased at a candy shop, whereas the others got their tickets by buying Wonka bars by the case (making it easier for Wonka to target specific children). In all likelihood, Wonka was aiming for someone else with Charlie's ticket, and dumb luck intervened in favor of Charlie.

So poor Wonka has devised tests to see if any of the kids can overcome their own personality flaws, but he doesn't know enough about Charlie to rig up a test for him. Emotionally-manipulative Charlie puts on this big show of "giving back" his gobstopper, fooling the unwitting Wonka into thinking that he's made some great sacrifice (an everlasting Gobstopper? Big friggin' deal -- the golden ticket entitled the kids to a LIFETIME SUPPLY of chocolate), and tricking Wonka into giving him a big reward.


Interesting, and here the whole time I get all up in arms when his bed ridden grandpa jumps out of bed to dance the jig. Really? You've been bed ridden, you're not gonna just jump out like some spring chicken.
2012-04-30 07:58:26 PM  
2 votes:

Ed Finnerty: Apos: Cracked article? Will. Not. Click.

It's Fark. No one actually clicks the link and reads the article.

Just use the headline to make up what you think the article may be about and comment on said imaginary article.

For hardcore mode, visit Politics.



Oh no...I've learned to avoid that section like the plague.
2012-04-30 07:52:25 PM  
2 votes:

Apos: Cracked article? Will. Not. Click.


It's Fark. No one actually clicks the link and reads the article.

Just use the headline to make up what you think the article may be about and comment on said imaginary article.

For hardcore mode, visit Politics.
2012-04-30 06:27:25 PM  
2 votes:
I always just assumed time flowed differently in the different worlds.
2012-05-01 08:59:54 AM  
1 votes:

zappaisfrank: [i.crackedcdn.com image 320x205]

The Penguins were the best part of the Madagascar movies and their series on Nick is awesome!

/luvs me some Penguins!


When they arrive in Antarctica is possibly the greatest single movie quote and scene ever in an animated film.
2012-04-30 11:18:07 PM  
1 votes:
Ever notice that in The Little Mermaid how wherever they swim, even in the deep sea, they leave a trail of bubbles behind? Are they just farting a ton?
2012-04-30 09:49:49 PM  
1 votes:
Go watch The Gate sometime and wonder why no neighbors come by to comment on the giant gates of Hell open up on that suburban lawn with thousands of demons crawling out. That's gotta violate some HOA bylaw.
2012-04-30 09:21:55 PM  
1 votes:

Evil Kirk vs Bad Ash: If Wall-e really is the same world as Toy Story (Buy-n-Large, Pizza Planet) then does that mean in one of the countless sky scrapers of garbage Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the gang are forever trapped alone? Being crushed for a thousand years.


Things that bugged me more about Wall-E:

Why did the ship have to land in order to drop off (and pick up) Eve? Seems like she was plenty powerful enough to survive atmo (and get out of the gravity well later). Seems like a lot of wasted energy. Other than the fact that it gives Wall-E the convenient opportunity to hitch a ride it doesn't make much sense.

Why was she so heavily armed? The planet was supposed to be abandoned. What were they expecting her to encounter that would have been so dangerous?
2012-04-30 09:05:47 PM  
1 votes:

LeroyBourne:

Interesting, and here the whole time I get all up in arms when his bed ridden grandpa jumps out of bed to dance the jig. Really? You've been bed ridden, you're not gonna just jump out like some spring chicken.


He wasn't bedridden, he was old, lazy, and feeling sorry for himself.
2012-04-30 08:51:51 PM  
1 votes:

SnakeLee: He tricked Jafar at the end by pointing that the Genie is a million times more powerful than him. This movie makes no sense


1) Just because Aladdin and Jafar believed it doesn't necessarily make it true.
2) Even if it is true, it doesn't mean that Jafar didn't have enough power to undo it. If somebody wished that a table was moved from one side of the room to the other, would Jafar not be able to move the table with his magic afterwards?

B.L.Z. Bub: SnakeLee: So he is a fraud for wishing to be a prince and his solution is to wish to be a prince a second time?

I think you're missing the part where he's not really a prince. It's all a ruse by the Genie. Aladdin wants to hold onto that third wish in case this is figured out (what his third wish would be if that happened I can't imagine).


He was a prince, and at the end of the film the Genie suggests that Aladdin selfishly use the third wish, telling him "just say the words and you're a prince again" meaning he was actually a prince before, not just a fraud.
2012-04-30 08:29:11 PM  
1 votes:
7. Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder one): Did Charlie manipulate Wonka?

We know that Wonka has the ability to direct the golden tickets where he wants, because his employee (Slugworth) is shown on-site, whispering in the ear of each ticket-finding kid, immediately after the ticket is discovered. We also know that Wonka's tour contains rooms specifically geared towards each child's personal weakness -- Agustus/gluttony/the room of unlimited chocolate; Violet/gum obsession/experimental gum, etc.

But Wonka doesn't have a room particularly targeted towards Charlie's character flaw (i.e. that he's passive/aggressively emotionally manipulative to his extended family -- the "I want to share my birthday chocolate bar with you all" bit, just to get them to insist that he keep it all for himself, etc.). This is likely because Wonka didn't have time to do his recon on Charlie. Remember, Charlie found the ticket the afternoon before the tour, and got it from a random bar purchased at a candy shop, whereas the others got their tickets by buying Wonka bars by the case (making it easier for Wonka to target specific children). In all likelihood, Wonka was aiming for someone else with Charlie's ticket, and dumb luck intervened in favor of Charlie.

So poor Wonka has devised tests to see if any of the kids can overcome their own personality flaws, but he doesn't know enough about Charlie to rig up a test for him. Emotionally-manipulative Charlie puts on this big show of "giving back" his gobstopper, fooling the unwitting Wonka into thinking that he's made some great sacrifice (an everlasting Gobstopper? Big friggin' deal -- the golden ticket entitled the kids to a LIFETIME SUPPLY of chocolate), and tricking Wonka into giving him a big reward.
2012-04-30 08:17:34 PM  
1 votes:
LEAVE BOO ALONE!
2012-04-30 08:00:28 PM  
1 votes:
This is like debating with your kids on how their favorite animated movies suck...just keep asking those hard hitting questions until your own kid calls you a dick. Then, you know you've won as a parent.
2012-04-30 07:21:58 PM  
1 votes:

SnakeLee: What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this


No, he did become a prince wigth the first wish. The third wish was for him to become Prince, so he could marry the Princess.

/she really loved the song When Doves Cry.
2012-04-30 07:19:58 PM  
1 votes:
What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this
2012-04-30 06:51:56 PM  
1 votes:

gopher321: Answer to that article: Because SHUT UP, that's why.


Exactly. Why can't these people just sit down and enjoy a freaking movie?
2012-04-30 06:38:08 PM  
1 votes:
Answer to that article: Because SHUT UP, that's why.
 
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