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(Cracked)   Did the parents realize their kid was kidnapped in Monsters, Inc? This is among the Six Disturbing Unanswered Questions from Children's Movies   (cracked.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, unanswered questions, The Incredibles, monsters, talking animals, John Ratzenberger, Yeti, pop songs, freaks  
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15549 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Apr 2012 at 7:41 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



104 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-04-30 06:07:23 PM  
It's likely that the kid's parents didn't notice her extended absence. Her adventure was the high point in a life filled with neglect and loneliness.
 
2012-04-30 06:27:25 PM  
I always just assumed time flowed differently in the different worlds.
 
2012-04-30 06:38:08 PM  
Answer to that article: Because SHUT UP, that's why.
 
2012-04-30 06:48:53 PM  
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."
 
2012-04-30 06:51:56 PM  

gopher321: Answer to that article: Because SHUT UP, that's why.


Exactly. Why can't these people just sit down and enjoy a freaking movie?
 
2012-04-30 07:02:58 PM  

impaler: Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."


But how do they eat and breathe? And other science facts?!?!
 
2012-04-30 07:10:22 PM  

Ed Finnerty: impaler: Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."

But how do they eat and breathe? And other science facts?!?!


La la la?
 
2012-04-30 07:19:58 PM  
What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this
 
2012-04-30 07:21:58 PM  

SnakeLee: What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this


No, he did become a prince wigth the first wish. The third wish was for him to become Prince, so he could marry the Princess.

/she really loved the song When Doves Cry.
 
2012-04-30 07:42:41 PM  
I want an Iron Giant sequel now.
 
2012-04-30 07:48:45 PM  
Cracked article? Will. Not. Click.
 
2012-04-30 07:49:56 PM  
The incredibles one where he doubles the number doesn't make sense. The reason he is up to the 10th model is that he is only invite Coach who destroys the other models
 
2012-04-30 07:52:25 PM  

Apos: Cracked article? Will. Not. Click.


It's Fark. No one actually clicks the link and reads the article.

Just use the headline to make up what you think the article may be about and comment on said imaginary article.

For hardcore mode, visit Politics.
 
2012-04-30 07:54:42 PM  
Because Cracked, like wrestling, it's FAKE AND WE KNOW IT... JUST SHUTUP. JESUS.

*ahem*
 
2012-04-30 07:58:26 PM  

Ed Finnerty: Apos: Cracked article? Will. Not. Click.

It's Fark. No one actually clicks the link and reads the article.

Just use the headline to make up what you think the article may be about and comment on said imaginary article.

For hardcore mode, visit Politics.



Oh no...I've learned to avoid that section like the plague.
 
2012-04-30 07:59:31 PM  

SnakeLee: What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this


Wrong. He was afraid that he would need that third wish in case he was exposed as a fraud ("What if they find out I'm not really a prince? I can't keep this up on my own").
 
2012-04-30 08:00:28 PM  
This is like debating with your kids on how their favorite animated movies suck...just keep asking those hard hitting questions until your own kid calls you a dick. Then, you know you've won as a parent.
 
2012-04-30 08:03:46 PM  

Apos: Oh no...I've learned to avoid that section like the plague.


You're smart. Election years are particularly bad.
 
2012-04-30 08:07:36 PM  
These seem like reasonable questions to raise if one was a caller into late night AM radio.
 
2012-04-30 08:12:56 PM  
I have no problem with the Aladdin thing. You don't need to create a country to make him a prince, the easiest way is to have made him the forgotten 176th son of some sultan somewhere. He might not have any memory of his parents to begin with, and then there's no real lands or holdings that he's entitled to. The only difference is that he's now technically a prince. All the big parade stuff was just a Genie illusion to make Aladdin look like what Aladdin thinks a prince should look like, but he really is one.

SnakeLee: What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this


The implication is that he was un-princified by most-powerful-sorcerer-in-the-world Jafar. But if you want to debate how Jafar would have enough power to undo what the Genie did, go right ahead.

/Spent way too much time thinking about this.
 
2012-04-30 08:13:33 PM  

FirstNationalBastard


Ed Finnerty: impaler: Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."

But how do they eat and breathe? And other science facts?!?!

La la la?


Because he used those special parts...
 
2012-04-30 08:17:34 PM  
LEAVE BOO ALONE!
 
2012-04-30 08:18:56 PM  

nmrsnr: I have no problem with the Aladdin thing. You don't need to create a country to make him a prince, the easiest way is to have made him the forgotten 176th son of some sultan somewhere. He might not have any memory of his parents to begin with, and then there's no real lands or holdings that he's entitled to. The only difference is that he's now technically a prince. All the big parade stuff was just a Genie illusion to make Aladdin look like what Aladdin thinks a prince should look like, but he really is one.

SnakeLee: What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this

The implication is that he was un-princified by most-powerful-sorcerer-in-the-world Jafar. But if you want to debate how Jafar would have enough power to undo what the Genie did, go right ahead.

/Spent way too much time thinking about this.


Jafar used his phony birth certificate to prove that in fact he was just a lousy lying streetrat, and he did it via a catchy mocking song, which culminated in him being stripped and launched miles away.

Also, a wizard did it
 
2012-04-30 08:19:42 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Wrong. He was afraid that he would need that third wish in case he was exposed as a fraud ("What if they find out I'm not really a prince? I can't keep this up on my own").


So he is a fraud for wishing to be a prince and his solution is to wish to be a prince a second time?

longtermtourists.com

nmrsnr: The implication is that he was un-princified by most-powerful-sorcerer-in-the-world Jafar. But if you want to debate how Jafar would have enough power to undo what the Genie did, go right ahead.


He tricked Jafar at the end by pointing that the Genie is a million times more powerful than him. This movie makes no sense
 
2012-04-30 08:21:14 PM  

Fano: Also, a wizardninjas did it


There. Fixed it for you.
 
2012-04-30 08:22:08 PM  

Fano: Jafar used his phony birth certificate to prove that in fact he was just a lousy lying streetrat, and he did it via a catchy mocking song, which culminated in him being stripped and launched miles away.

Also, a wizard did it


Jafar is a Birther. It all makes sense now
 
2012-04-30 08:29:11 PM  
7. Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder one): Did Charlie manipulate Wonka?

We know that Wonka has the ability to direct the golden tickets where he wants, because his employee (Slugworth) is shown on-site, whispering in the ear of each ticket-finding kid, immediately after the ticket is discovered. We also know that Wonka's tour contains rooms specifically geared towards each child's personal weakness -- Agustus/gluttony/the room of unlimited chocolate; Violet/gum obsession/experimental gum, etc.

But Wonka doesn't have a room particularly targeted towards Charlie's character flaw (i.e. that he's passive/aggressively emotionally manipulative to his extended family -- the "I want to share my birthday chocolate bar with you all" bit, just to get them to insist that he keep it all for himself, etc.). This is likely because Wonka didn't have time to do his recon on Charlie. Remember, Charlie found the ticket the afternoon before the tour, and got it from a random bar purchased at a candy shop, whereas the others got their tickets by buying Wonka bars by the case (making it easier for Wonka to target specific children). In all likelihood, Wonka was aiming for someone else with Charlie's ticket, and dumb luck intervened in favor of Charlie.

So poor Wonka has devised tests to see if any of the kids can overcome their own personality flaws, but he doesn't know enough about Charlie to rig up a test for him. Emotionally-manipulative Charlie puts on this big show of "giving back" his gobstopper, fooling the unwitting Wonka into thinking that he's made some great sacrifice (an everlasting Gobstopper? Big friggin' deal -- the golden ticket entitled the kids to a LIFETIME SUPPLY of chocolate), and tricking Wonka into giving him a big reward.
 
2012-04-30 08:36:47 PM  

LeroyBourne: This is like debating with your kids on how their favorite animated movies suck...just keep asking those hard hitting questions until your own kid calls you a dick. Then, you know you've won as a parent.


Bonus points if the kids under 5
 
2012-04-30 08:37:22 PM  

SnakeLee: So he is a fraud for wishing to be a prince and his solution is to wish to be a prince a second time?


I think you're missing the part where he's not really a prince. It's all a ruse by the Genie. Aladdin wants to hold onto that third wish in case this is figured out (what his third wish would be if that happened I can't imagine).
 
2012-04-30 08:39:33 PM  

SnakeLee: What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this


Wow. Did you click next on a Cracked article?
 
2012-04-30 08:43:20 PM  

Uzzah: 7. Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder one): Did Charlie manipulate Wonka?

We know that Wonka has the ability to direct the golden tickets where he wants, because his employee (Slugworth) is shown on-site, whispering in the ear of each ticket-finding kid, immediately after the ticket is discovered. We also know that Wonka's tour contains rooms specifically geared towards each child's personal weakness -- Agustus/gluttony/the room of unlimited chocolate; Violet/gum obsession/experimental gum, etc.

But Wonka doesn't have a room particularly targeted towards Charlie's character flaw (i.e. that he's passive/aggressively emotionally manipulative to his extended family -- the "I want to share my birthday chocolate bar with you all" bit, just to get them to insist that he keep it all for himself, etc.). This is likely because Wonka didn't have time to do his recon on Charlie. Remember, Charlie found the ticket the afternoon before the tour, and got it from a random bar purchased at a candy shop, whereas the others got their tickets by buying Wonka bars by the case (making it easier for Wonka to target specific children). In all likelihood, Wonka was aiming for someone else with Charlie's ticket, and dumb luck intervened in favor of Charlie.

So poor Wonka has devised tests to see if any of the kids can overcome their own personality flaws, but he doesn't know enough about Charlie to rig up a test for him. Emotionally-manipulative Charlie puts on this big show of "giving back" his gobstopper, fooling the unwitting Wonka into thinking that he's made some great sacrifice (an everlasting Gobstopper? Big friggin' deal -- the golden ticket entitled the kids to a LIFETIME SUPPLY of chocolate), and tricking Wonka into giving him a big reward.


Interesting, and here the whole time I get all up in arms when his bed ridden grandpa jumps out of bed to dance the jig. Really? You've been bed ridden, you're not gonna just jump out like some spring chicken.
 
2012-04-30 08:44:48 PM  
SnakeLee, disregard everything I said. I'm an idiot and didn't even realize which part of the movie you were talking about.
 
2012-04-30 08:51:51 PM  

SnakeLee: He tricked Jafar at the end by pointing that the Genie is a million times more powerful than him. This movie makes no sense


1) Just because Aladdin and Jafar believed it doesn't necessarily make it true.
2) Even if it is true, it doesn't mean that Jafar didn't have enough power to undo it. If somebody wished that a table was moved from one side of the room to the other, would Jafar not be able to move the table with his magic afterwards?

B.L.Z. Bub: SnakeLee: So he is a fraud for wishing to be a prince and his solution is to wish to be a prince a second time?

I think you're missing the part where he's not really a prince. It's all a ruse by the Genie. Aladdin wants to hold onto that third wish in case this is figured out (what his third wish would be if that happened I can't imagine).


He was a prince, and at the end of the film the Genie suggests that Aladdin selfishly use the third wish, telling him "just say the words and you're a prince again" meaning he was actually a prince before, not just a fraud.
 
2012-04-30 08:58:53 PM  
Uzzah
7. Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder one): Did Charlie manipulate Wonka?


I have to disagree. Wonka did plant a trap for Charlie, attempting to have him cut to pieces in the fan blades of the Fizzy Lifting room.

While all of the other children faced their dooms alone, Wonka surmised that Charlie, through his passive-aggressive tendencies, would use his own grandfather in order to surreptitiously steal fizzy lifting soda. The other children were alone responsible for their own demises...only Charlie had the built-in excuse that he was following his grandfather's guidance. Wonka knew that Charlie would drag the grandfather into the scheme and was willing to sacrifice the grandfather in order to guarantee Charlie's death. Wonka's plan would have worked if is wasn't for that meddling grandfather accidentally belching.

At the end of the movie, Wonka was again foiled when the elevator failed to cut the Bucket family members to ribbons. Wonka ensured that he donned his hat and coat (Kevlar, perhaps?) before entering the elevator, leaving the Buckets with no protection. However, the elevator was either poorly designed or failed to operate as desired and, once again, they escaped unharmed.

Finally, note that, while Wonka assured Charlie that the other children would be returned to their former terrible selves, he offered no evidence that this was true.
 
2012-04-30 09:05:47 PM  

LeroyBourne:

Interesting, and here the whole time I get all up in arms when his bed ridden grandpa jumps out of bed to dance the jig. Really? You've been bed ridden, you're not gonna just jump out like some spring chicken.


He wasn't bedridden, he was old, lazy, and feeling sorry for himself.
 
2012-04-30 09:06:22 PM  

pisceandreamer: gopher321: Answer to that article: Because SHUT UP, that's why.

Exactly. Why can't these people just sit down and enjoy a freaking movie?



It seems like they WERE enjoying the movies. If they didn't enjoy them they probably wouldn't have cared enough to have fun finding disturbing details that were overlooked.

/enjoyed the link
//enjoy a lot of Cracked links
 
2012-04-30 09:07:24 PM  
If Wall-e really is the same world as Toy Story (Buy-n-Large, Pizza Planet) then does that mean in one of the countless sky scrapers of garbage Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the gang are forever trapped alone? Being crushed for a thousand years.
 
2012-04-30 09:12:52 PM  

nmrsnr: 1) Just because Aladdin and Jafar believed it doesn't necessarily make it true.
2) Even if it is true, it doesn't mean that Jafar didn't have enough power to undo it. If somebody wished that a table was moved from one side of the room to the other, would Jafar not be able to move the table with his magic afterwards?


Here is the dialogue from the movie according to IMDB:

Aladdin: [Flying towards him on Carpet] Jafar! Get your hands off her!
Jafar: [zaps Aladdin, Carpet flies away. Singing] Prince Ali, yes, it is he, but not as you know him. Read my lips and come to grips with reality
[brings Aladdin and Jasmine closer in the air]
Jafar: Yes, meet a blast from your past, whose lies were too good to last! Say hello to your precious Prince Ali!
[zaps Ali back to Aladdin as he says it]
Iago: Or should we say Aladdin?
Princess Jasmine: [shocked] Ali.
Aladdin: Jasmine, I tried to tell you.
Jafar: [still singing] So Ali turns out to be merely Aladdin
[turns Abu back to his normal self]


So I guess you're right. He "moved the table back." But then he was just going to wish to be a prince again, but it is such shiatty genie magic it could be undone at any time. I guess what he should have done is wish for his dad to have been a King
 
2012-04-30 09:13:54 PM  
You know what the most disturbing thing about "The Iron Giant" was?

It's blatant anti-gun propaganda.
 
2012-04-30 09:17:55 PM  
Children's movies sometimes have plot holes? Shocking!
 
2012-04-30 09:20:17 PM  

nmrsnr: I have no problem with the Aladdin thing. You don't need to create a country to make him a prince, the easiest way is to have made him the forgotten 176th son of some sultan somewhere. He might not have any memory of his parents to begin with, and then there's no real lands or holdings that he's entitled to. The only difference is that he's now technically a prince. All the big parade stuff was just a Genie illusion to make Aladdin look like what Aladdin thinks a prince should look like, but he really is one.

SnakeLee: What always really bothered me about the Aladdin one was this: his first wish was to become a prince and the second one was to rescue him from drowning. However, he is torn for his third wish between freeing the genie and becoming a prince so he could marry the princess. So I don't get it, he didn't become a prince with the first wish then?

/The worst part is I can't even find other people complaining about this online. I seem to be the only one bothered by this

The implication is that he was un-princified by most-powerful-sorcerer-in-the-world Jafar. But if you want to debate how Jafar would have enough power to undo what the Genie did, go right ahead.

/Spent way too much time thinking about this.


Aladdin wanted to keep Genie around in case Jafar pulled something off to expose his real past or tried to kill him again as he already had. He viewed the last wish as a "get out of jail free" card and was reluctant to spend it on something that didn't benefit him. As it turned out that was a terrible idea since it put the power in Jafars reach however Aladdins reasoning wasn't without merit.
 
2012-04-30 09:21:55 PM  

Evil Kirk vs Bad Ash: If Wall-e really is the same world as Toy Story (Buy-n-Large, Pizza Planet) then does that mean in one of the countless sky scrapers of garbage Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the gang are forever trapped alone? Being crushed for a thousand years.


Things that bugged me more about Wall-E:

Why did the ship have to land in order to drop off (and pick up) Eve? Seems like she was plenty powerful enough to survive atmo (and get out of the gravity well later). Seems like a lot of wasted energy. Other than the fact that it gives Wall-E the convenient opportunity to hitch a ride it doesn't make much sense.

Why was she so heavily armed? The planet was supposed to be abandoned. What were they expecting her to encounter that would have been so dangerous?
 
2012-04-30 09:31:13 PM  
I didn't see any of those movies. But I have to agree with the 'because shut up, that's why' sentiment.
 
2012-04-30 09:36:10 PM  
#1. Rio -- How Is One Pair Supposed to Repopulate an Entire Species?

Christians, you want to field this question?
 
2012-04-30 09:49:49 PM  
Go watch The Gate sometime and wonder why no neighbors come by to comment on the giant gates of Hell open up on that suburban lawn with thousands of demons crawling out. That's gotta violate some HOA bylaw.
 
2012-04-30 09:50:34 PM  

Surool: #1. Rio -- How Is One Pair Supposed to Repopulate an Entire Species?

Christians, you want to field this question?


Well... considering the fact that we all carry mitochondrial DNA from ONE female... it's really not all that unlikely.

Mitochondrial Eve.
 
2012-04-30 09:50:38 PM  

Surool: #1. Rio -- How Is One Pair Supposed to Repopulate an Entire Species?

Christians, you want to field this question?


Hey, if a little incest is OK with God and the Lannisters who are we to complain?
 
2012-04-30 10:02:05 PM  

Uzzah: 7. Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder one): Did Charlie manipulate Wonka?

We know that Wonka has the ability to direct the golden tickets where he wants, because his employee (Slugworth) is shown on-site, whispering in the ear of each ticket-finding kid, immediately after the ticket is discovered. We also know that Wonka's tour contains rooms specifically geared towards each child's personal weakness -- Agustus/gluttony/the room of unlimited chocolate; Violet/gum obsession/experimental gum, etc.

But Wonka doesn't have a room particularly targeted towards Charlie's character flaw (i.e. that he's passive/aggressively emotionally manipulative to his extended family -- the "I want to share my birthday chocolate bar with you all" bit, just to get them to insist that he keep it all for himself, etc.). This is likely because Wonka didn't have time to do his recon on Charlie. Remember, Charlie found the ticket the afternoon before the tour, and got it from a random bar purchased at a candy shop, whereas the others got their tickets by buying Wonka bars by the case (making it easier for Wonka to target specific children). In all likelihood, Wonka was aiming for someone else with Charlie's ticket, and dumb luck intervened in favor of Charlie.

So poor Wonka has devised tests to see if any of the kids can overcome their own personality flaws, but he doesn't know enough about Charlie to rig up a test for him. Emotionally-manipulative Charlie puts on this big show of "giving back" his gobstopper, fooling the unwitting Wonka into thinking that he's made some great sacrifice (an everlasting Gobstopper? Big friggin' deal -- the golden ticket entitled the kids to a LIFETIME SUPPLY of chocolate), and tricking Wonka into giving him a big reward.


The kids forfeited the lifetime supply of chocolate by not obeying Wonka, which was a violation of the waiver they all signed at the beginning of the tour.

My question is, how stupid did the Salt and Beauregarde families feel when Slugworth all of a sudden had no interest in their gobstopper (I imagine Mike Teevees was shrunk along with him)
 
2012-04-30 10:06:50 PM  
If you cheered for Herbie the Love Bug to win the race, does that make you a Nazi sympathizer because it's a German car?

Bambi didn't really have a good mother, did he?

Is there anyone on the planet who wouldn't have stomped on Charlotte in one second?

Wouldn't Hundred Acre Woods be much better off if Winnie the Pooh was dead?
 
2012-04-30 10:10:44 PM  

Surool: #1. Rio -- How Is One Pair Supposed to Repopulate an Entire Species?

Christians, you want to field this question?


I'm no Christian and it's been a long ass time since I read the bible but didn't Adam and Eve have Cain and Abel. Cain kills Abel (spoilers) and God banishes him to Nod then Cain has some kids with his out of nowhere magically appearing wife?

That's one of the parts that tripped me up, dudes wife has no explanation for her existence.
 
2012-04-30 10:21:58 PM  

DenisBergkamp: Surool: #1. Rio -- How Is One Pair Supposed to Repopulate an Entire Species?

Christians, you want to field this question?

I'm no Christian and it's been a long ass time since I read the bible but didn't Adam and Eve have Cain and Abel. Cain kills Abel (spoilers) and God banishes him to Nod then Cain has some kids with his out of nowhere magically appearing wife?

That's one of the parts that tripped me up, dudes wife has no explanation for her existence.


I believe his wife was Lilith, Adams original partner who got the boot for not being a good, submissive wife.
 
2012-04-30 10:24:55 PM  

Uzzah: 7. Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder one): Did Charlie manipulate Wonka?

We know that Wonka has the ability to direct the golden tickets where he wants, because his employee (Slugworth) is shown on-site, whispering in the ear of each ticket-finding kid, immediately after the ticket is discovered. We also know that Wonka's tour contains rooms specifically geared towards each child's personal weakness -- Agustus/gluttony/the room of unlimited chocolate; Violet/gum obsession/experimental gum, etc.

But Wonka doesn't have a room particularly targeted towards Charlie's character flaw (i.e. that he's passive/aggressively emotionally manipulative to his extended family -- the "I want to share my birthday chocolate bar with you all" bit, just to get them to insist that he keep it all for himself, etc.). This is likely because Wonka didn't have time to do his recon on Charlie. Remember, Charlie found the ticket the afternoon before the tour, and got it from a random bar purchased at a candy shop, whereas the others got their tickets by buying Wonka bars by the case (making it easier for Wonka to target specific children). In all likelihood, Wonka was aiming for someone else with Charlie's ticket, and dumb luck intervened in favor of Charlie.

So poor Wonka has devised tests to see if any of the kids can overcome their own personality flaws, but he doesn't know enough about Charlie to rig up a test for him. Emotionally-manipulative Charlie puts on this big show of "giving back" his gobstopper, fooling the unwitting Wonka into thinking that he's made some great sacrifice (an everlasting Gobstopper? Big friggin' deal -- the golden ticket entitled the kids to a LIFETIME SUPPLY of chocolate), and tricking Wonka into giving him a big reward.


Eh, it's better than in the book (and the Tim Burton movie) where Charlie simply wins by default.
 
2012-04-30 10:27:56 PM  
I can tolerate those anomalies, but whenever Sponge Bob, who lives under the sea, blows up a balloon I wanna kill Patrick.
 
2012-04-30 10:33:00 PM  
7. How did the National Institute for Mental Health do experiments on rats that led to magic powers? What are we supposed to do with magical genius rats?
 
2012-04-30 10:42:13 PM  

dittybopper: You know what the most disturbing thing about "The Iron Giant" was?

It's blatant anti-gun propaganda.


A popular misconception. I would argue that the so-called anti-gun propaganda is actually anti-violence propaganda, and the gun is simply a stand-in for for violence.

Marysue: Well... considering the fact that we all carry mitochondrial DNA from ONE female... it's really not all that unlikely.

Mitochondrial Eve.


No, it's still unlikely. We all share a common ancestor dating to a mere 5,000 years ago (M.E. lived about 200,000 years ago). Don't underestimate the power of large numbers or human fecundity. M.E. may be the source of the most long-lived line of mitochondria in human-like species, but she (and her descendants) had plenty of genetic variation to cross-breed with.
 
2012-04-30 10:45:19 PM  
6) Yes, the parents in Monsters Inc were horribly terrified that their kid was missing for 24 hours. As they should have been. They were horrible parents.

5) The government was good at putting the superheroes into new mundane lives. They were not good at keeping tabs on their actual lives.

4) We don't know the Iron Giant's actual mission. It could have been making first contact, and the incredible array of weapons and defenses could have been there in case the Earth's inhabitants were deemed to be needing removal for the safety of the rest of the galaxy. Well, okay...on second thought, yes, the Iron Giant was here to kill us all.

3) Nobody gives a shiat about this dumb Dreamworks movie.

2) What, you can't be king or a prince of a nation of two people?

1) Again, nobody gives a shiat about this dumb Dreamworks movie.
 
2012-04-30 10:48:49 PM  

Flappyhead: DenisBergkamp: Surool: #1. Rio -- How Is One Pair Supposed to Repopulate an Entire Species?

Christians, you want to field this question?

I'm no Christian and it's been a long ass time since I read the bible but didn't Adam and Eve have Cain and Abel. Cain kills Abel (spoilers) and God banishes him to Nod then Cain has some kids with his out of nowhere magically appearing wife?

That's one of the parts that tripped me up, dudes wife has no explanation for her existence.

I believe his wife was Lilith, Adams original partner who got the boot for not being a good, submissive wife.


I think my bible skipped that chapter,thanks!
 
2012-04-30 10:51:59 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: FirstNationalBastard

Ed Finnerty: impaler: Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."

But how do they eat and breathe? And other science facts?!?!

La la la?


Because he used those special parts...


...to make his robot friends.

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

/I love this website sometimes...
 
2012-04-30 10:53:01 PM  

RibbyK: I can tolerate those anomalies, but whenever Sponge Bob, who lives under the sea, blows up a balloon I wanna kill Patrick.


It bugs me whenever Spongebob drinks water or cries tears. Or whenever there's a fire lit.
 
2012-04-30 10:53:23 PM  
A not-so-disturbing question: Is Monsters,Inc an animated ripoff of homage to Home Alone?
 
2012-04-30 10:54:51 PM  

Apos: A not-so-disturbing question: Is Monsters,Inc an animated ripoff of homage to Home Alone?


In what sense? The only similarity is two bumbling guys with a kid.
 
2012-04-30 10:57:14 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: I want an Iron Giant sequel now.


I'd like to see that.
 
2012-04-30 10:57:17 PM  

fusillade762: Evil Kirk vs Bad Ash: If Wall-e really is the same world as Toy Story (Buy-n-Large, Pizza Planet) then does that mean in one of the countless sky scrapers of garbage Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the gang are forever trapped alone? Being crushed for a thousand years.

Things that bugged me more about Wall-E:

Why did the ship have to land in order to drop off (and pick up) Eve? Seems like she was plenty powerful enough to survive atmo (and get out of the gravity well later). Seems like a lot of wasted energy. Other than the fact that it gives Wall-E the convenient opportunity to hitch a ride it doesn't make much sense.


In many ways Eve was technology WAY beyond a lot of the other stuff on the human ship. Her separate floating arms & head alone would require a force field tech of incredible sophistication, which was simply not evidenced elsewhere.

Why was she so heavily armed? The planet was supposed to be abandoned. What were they expecting her to encounter that would have been so dangerous?

www.blogcdn.com

... or her "weapons" were just general purpose cutting and blasting tools to access closed structures etc. WAIT A MINUTE IT'S A GOD DAMN KIDS MOVIE WHO CARES.
 
2012-04-30 10:57:36 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Apos: A not-so-disturbing question: Is Monsters,Inc an animated ripoff of homage to Home Alone?

In what sense? The only similarity is two bumbling guys with a kid.



Your prompt response is appreciated.
 
2012-04-30 10:59:08 PM  
What about the kid from Up? How long would it take to float to South America and back??? He must have been all over the milk cartons.
 
2012-04-30 10:59:11 PM  
Children's cartoons are fairy tales using a 2-dimensional medium that flashes still photographs onto a flat white screen at 24 frames per second.

I demand realism!
 
2012-04-30 11:02:39 PM  

DenisBergkamp: That's one of the parts that tripped me up, dudes wife has no explanation for her existence.


Adam and Eve were the 1st Jews, the other came from elsewhere.
 
2012-04-30 11:05:43 PM  
It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown:

How come Linus's parents didn't go looking for him when he didn't get back home that night? Were they passed out drunk while Lucy went out to look for him?
 
2012-04-30 11:18:07 PM  
Ever notice that in The Little Mermaid how wherever they swim, even in the deep sea, they leave a trail of bubbles behind? Are they just farting a ton?
 
2012-04-30 11:20:19 PM  

LadyHawke: Ever notice that in The Little Mermaid how wherever they swim, even in the deep sea, they leave a trail of bubbles behind? Are they just farting a ton?


cavitation
 
2012-04-30 11:23:05 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: LadyHawke: Ever notice that in The Little Mermaid how wherever they swim, even in the deep sea, they leave a trail of bubbles behind? Are they just farting a ton?

cavitation


Guess fish are only strong enough to do that in Disney movies... I've watched many nature specials, and not one fish or whale creates bubbles as they swim.
 
2012-04-30 11:29:39 PM  

The_Sponge: How come Linus's parents didn't go looking for him when he didn't get back home that night? Were they passed out drunk while Lucy went out to look for him?


I think the answer is pretty obvious. All the adult characters in Charlie Brown are toothless meth-heads. It explains their inability to communicate with children and their odd dialogue, their non-presence, and the fact that the children are most commonly outside or at school. Add in all the subversive behavior: Charlie's depression, Lucy's unpredictable behavior around Charlie and Linus, Marcy and Peppermint Patty's lesbian behavior, the kid who is literally covered in shiat all the time, Snoopy's drug habit which makes him think he's a World War I pilot, Linus's sleeping in a pumpkin patch overnight every Halloween. I mean it all comes down to a complete lack of adult supervision.

Let us not forget "Your Dad's a biatch in Prison Charlie Brown" in which there is an explosion and Charlie's house burns down and the cops show up and arrest his parents, and a poignant scene in which Charlie is on the phone in jail with his Dad, and of course no one can see the Dad's face. And then the very end, when Charlie does a line of coke off the top of Linus's piano and then kills Snoopy for cash which Snoopy doesn't have because he's a dog.
 
2012-04-30 11:31:32 PM  

bdub77: The_Sponge: How come Linus's parents didn't go looking for him when he didn't get back home that night? Were they passed out drunk while Lucy went out to look for him?

I think the answer is pretty obvious. All the adult characters in Charlie Brown are toothless meth-heads. It explains their inability to communicate with children and their odd dialogue, their non-presence, and the fact that the children are most commonly outside or at school. Add in all the subversive behavior: Charlie's depression, Lucy's unpredictable behavior around Charlie and Linus, Marcy and Peppermint Patty's lesbian behavior, the kid who is literally covered in shiat all the time, Snoopy's drug habit which makes him think he's a World War I pilot, Linus's sleeping in a pumpkin patch overnight every Halloween. I mean it all comes down to a complete lack of adult supervision.

Let us not forget "Your Dad's a biatch in Prison Charlie Brown" in which there is an explosion and Charlie's house burns down and the cops show up and arrest his parents, and a poignant scene in which Charlie is on the phone in jail with his Dad, and of course no one can see the Dad's face. And then the very end, when Charlie does a line of coke off the top of Linus's piano and then kills Snoopy for cash which Snoopy doesn't have because he's a dog.



*Applause*

I LOL'd....well done.
 
2012-04-30 11:33:14 PM  
Captain N-Did they hold a funeral for Kevin in our world since they couldn't find him?

I know it's not a movie, but it fits.
 
2012-04-30 11:40:19 PM  

DenisBergkamp: I'm no Christian and it's been a long ass time since I read the bible but didn't Adam and Eve have Cain and Abel. Cain kills Abel (spoilers) and God banishes him to Nod then Cain has some kids with his out of nowhere magically appearing wife?

That's one of the parts that tripped me up, dudes wife has no explanation for her existence.


See, in the beginning, right, you had your mud people. Now, they were also referred to as beasts because they had no souls. See, they were soulless. And then Cain - you remember Cain now? Well, Cain, he laid down with the mud people, and out of these fornications came the Edomites. Do you know who the Edomites are? They're the Jews, Raylan.

Read your Bible, as interpreted by experts. Ahaha
 
2012-04-30 11:47:19 PM  
My 7 year old brought up a great point yesterday during our Sunday pizza and a movie night- in Human Centipede 2, Martin abducts people in the parking garage but why would he, as an attendant, even be there after hours? He also brought up a huge plot hole in A Serbian Film, but I can't reveal it without giving away spoilers.
 
2012-04-30 11:52:14 PM  

TheMatchHare: Englebert Slaptyback: FirstNationalBastard

Ed Finnerty: impaler: Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."

But how do they eat and breathe? And other science facts?!?!

La la la?


Because he used those special parts...

...to make his robot friends.

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

/I love this website sometimes...



Cambot!

/I hope we're not done yet
 
2012-04-30 11:53:01 PM  
Lando Lincoln:
1) Again, nobody gives a shiat about this dumb Dreamworks movie.

I thought that too but I watched it and it actually turned out to be pretty amusing.
 
2012-05-01 12:10:22 AM  

muchrooms: TheMatchHare: Englebert Slaptyback: FirstNationalBastard

Ed Finnerty: impaler: Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."

But how do they eat and breathe? And other science facts?!?!

La la la?


Because he used those special parts...

...to make his robot friends.

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

/I love this website sometimes...


Cambot!

/I hope we're not done yet


Gypsy!
 
2012-05-01 12:21:41 AM  
Tom Servo!
 
2012-05-01 12:31:09 AM  

Lord Binky: Tom Servo!


*check me out*
 
2012-05-01 12:45:12 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: My 7 year old brought up a great point yesterday during our Sunday pizza and a movie night- in Human Centipede 2, Martin abducts people in the parking garage but why would he, as an attendant, even be there after hours? He also brought up a huge plot hole in A Serbian Film, but I can't reveal it without giving away spoilers.



LOL what?

/Read the plot summary of "A Serbian Film" a while back.
//Pretty much ensured that I will never watch it.
///Used to live in Serbia.
////So I'm really getting a kick out of these responses.
 
2012-05-01 02:19:53 AM  

No Such Agency: In many ways Eve was technology WAY beyond a lot of the other stuff on the human ship. Her separate floating arms & head alone would require a force field tech of incredible sophistication, which was simply not evidenced elsewhere.


Why wouldn't the pods the humans float around in be a demonstration of an earlier generation of the same, or similar, technology?

Fano: 7. How did the National Institute for Mental Health do experiments on rats that led to magic powers? What are we supposed to do with magical genius rats?


My theory is that it wasn't magic, per se. Mrs. Brisby had never seen technology on that level before; therefore it appears to be magical when viewed through her perspective.

Vash's Apprentice: Captain N-Did they hold a funeral for Kevin in our world since they couldn't find him?

I know it's not a movie, but it fits.


Captain N was annoying. The few who noticed he was gone breathed a sigh of relief.
 
2012-05-01 02:22:46 AM  

Son of Streak: muchrooms: TheMatchHare: Englebert Slaptyback: FirstNationalBastard

Ed Finnerty: impaler: Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."

But how do they eat and breathe? And other science facts?!?!

La la la?


Because he used those special parts...

...to make his robot friends.

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

/I love this website sometimes...


Cambot!

/I hope we're not done yet

Gypsy!


Lord Binky: Tom Servo!


CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
 
2012-05-01 02:24:21 AM  
I always assumed that time in the Monster verse flowed differently from time in the real world or something like that. But I did wonder what the heck the parents would think when they noticed the closet door was smashed into pieces and reassembled on one side.
 
2012-05-01 02:44:20 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Son of Streak: muchrooms: TheMatchHare: Englebert Slaptyback: FirstNationalBastard

Ed Finnerty: impaler: Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show. I should really just relax."

But how do they eat and breathe? And other science facts?!?!

La la la?


Because he used those special parts...

...to make his robot friends.

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

/I love this website sometimes...


Cambot!

/I hope we're not done yet

Gypsy!

Lord Binky: Tom Servo!

CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!


*I'M DIFFERENT!*
 
2012-05-01 03:01:20 AM  

bdub77: The_Sponge: How come Linus's parents didn't go looking for him when he didn't get back home that night? Were they passed out drunk while Lucy went out to look for him?

I think the answer is pretty obvious. All the adult characters in Charlie Brown are toothless meth-heads. It explains their inability to communicate with children and their odd dialogue, their non-presence, and the fact that the children are most commonly outside or at school. Add in all the subversive behavior: Charlie's depression, Lucy's unpredictable behavior around Charlie and Linus, Marcy and Peppermint Patty's lesbian behavior, the kid who is literally covered in shiat all the time, Snoopy's drug habit which makes him think he's a World War I pilot, Linus's sleeping in a pumpkin patch overnight every Halloween. I mean it all comes down to a complete lack of adult supervision.

Let us not forget "Your Dad's a biatch in Prison Charlie Brown" in which there is an explosion and Charlie's house burns down and the cops show up and arrest his parents, and a poignant scene in which Charlie is on the phone in jail with his Dad, and of course no one can see the Dad's face. And then the very end, when Charlie does a line of coke off the top of Linus's piano and then kills Snoopy for cash which Snoopy doesn't have because he's a dog.


Nice job; funny too, but Schroeder had the piano.
 
2012-05-01 03:54:48 AM  
Not to, uh, nit-pick or, uh, anything, but, uh, Boo followed Sully back into the monster-world - Sully didn't kidnap her.

Just sayin'.
 
2012-05-01 04:13:05 AM  

LadyHawke: AverageAmericanGuy: LadyHawke: Ever notice that in The Little Mermaid how wherever they swim, even in the deep sea, they leave a trail of bubbles behind? Are they just farting a ton?

cavitation

Guess fish are only strong enough to do that in Disney movies... I've watched many nature specials, and not one fish or whale creates bubbles as they swim.


"Tuna have been known to have lesions typical of the damage caused by cavitation."

/Tuna really are awesome fish
//Especially when smoked and BBQ'd
 
2012-05-01 07:18:55 AM  

NutznGum: Surool: #1. Rio -- How Is One Pair Supposed to Repopulate an Entire Species?

Christians, you want to field this question?

Hey, if a little incest is OK with God and the Lannisters who are we to complain?


Bumper sticker!
 
2012-05-01 08:08:27 AM  

HeathenHealer: What about the kid from Up? How long would it take to float to South America and back??? He must have been all over the milk cartons.


Pretty sure the parents didn't give a shiat, I mean Russell even says as much in the film that his parents are divorced. Mom must have thought he was off with dad, and vice versa. Apparently the dad's new girlfriend hates him, and claims that he's a nuisance to his dad. :( It's why he was the way he was, and it took Carl long enough to clue into the fact that Russell was lacking a proper parental figure.

/damn you, I'm tearing up just thinking about the film
//I suppose it's ok since I am girl, to cry like a girl
 
2012-05-01 08:54:45 AM  
i.crackedcdn.com

The Penguins were the best part of the Madagascar movies and their series on Nick is awesome!

/luvs me some Penguins!
 
2012-05-01 08:59:54 AM  

zappaisfrank: [i.crackedcdn.com image 320x205]

The Penguins were the best part of the Madagascar movies and their series on Nick is awesome!

/luvs me some Penguins!


When they arrive in Antarctica is possibly the greatest single movie quote and scene ever in an animated film.
 
2012-05-01 09:33:24 AM  
The Incredibles: Hold on, if the National Supers Agency is so good at keeping track of superheroes ... how come nobody noticed they were being killed off? Dozens of them. Wasn't this, like, their one job?

Their one job, performed with the standard zeal and attention to detail of the US Postal Service and the IRS.
 
2012-05-01 09:34:28 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: zappaisfrank: [i.crackedcdn.com image 320x205]

The Penguins were the best part of the Madagascar movies and their series on Nick is awesome!

/luvs me some Penguins!

When they arrive in Antarctica is possibly the greatest single movie quote and scene ever in an animated film.


had me in tears laughing so hard...what a nice piece of comedy! that was a really fun movie, and those penguins are awesome!

as for the MONSTERS, INC, i'm very surprised it took 3/4 of the thread for someone to point out BOO was not kidnapped...rather, she was a stowaway
 
2012-05-01 11:35:08 AM  

Fano: What are we supposed to do with magical genius rats?


Mop floors?

www.cartoonpicturess.com
 
2012-05-01 11:43:05 AM  

BroVinny: RibbyK: I can tolerate those anomalies, but whenever Sponge Bob, who lives under the sea, blows up a balloon I wanna kill Patrick.
It bugs me whenever Spongebob drinks water or cries tears. Or whenever there's a fire lit.


I know, I know, it's a fictional CARTOON, but jeeeeeze!
/Now I'm gonna go find a life for myself...
 
2012-05-01 12:14:26 PM  

fusillade762: Things that bugged me more about Wall-E:

Why did the ship have to land in order to drop off (and pick up) Eve? Seems like she was plenty powerful enough to survive atmo (and get out of the gravity well later). Seems like a lot of wasted energy. Other than the fact that it gives Wall-E the convenient opportunity to hitch a ride it doesn't make much sense.

Why was she so heavily armed? The planet was supposed to be abandoned. What were they expecting her to encounter that would have been so dangerous?


I've had extensive discussions about this while high. I've never thought about why the ship landed but the consensus among my friends and I is that Eve was weaponized because they were also used to explore other potentially habitable planets and there was no telling what they might potentially come across.
 
2012-05-01 01:28:06 PM  

t3knomanser: A popular misconception. I would argue that the so-called anti-gun propaganda is actually anti-violence propaganda, and the gun is simply a stand-in for for violence.


"I am not a gun" - Gun being "bad".

It's not a misconception.

Even if I accept that spin on it, the underlying implication (violence is bad) isn't always true. Even the very youngest kids can distinguish between "good" violence and "bad" violence.

So either it is wrong about guns, or wrong about violence. Either way, it's wrong, largely because it deals in absolutes.
 
2012-05-01 01:28:59 PM  
Besides which, "The Iron Giant" is aimed at children. Perhaps an adult would catch the subtle difference, but kids?
 
2012-05-01 02:56:13 PM  

dittybopper: t3knomanser: A popular misconception. I would argue that the so-called anti-gun propaganda is actually anti-violence propaganda, and the gun is simply a stand-in for for violence.

"I am not a gun" - Gun being "bad".

It's not a misconception.

Even if I accept that spin on it, the underlying implication (violence is bad) isn't always true. Even the very youngest kids can distinguish between "good" violence and "bad" violence.

So either it is wrong about guns, or wrong about violence. Either way, it's wrong, largely because it deals in absolutes.


Absolutely no absolutes!
 
2012-05-01 02:58:37 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: zappaisfrank: [i.crackedcdn.com image 320x205]

The Penguins were the best part of the Madagascar movies and their series on Nick is awesome!

/luvs me some Penguins!

When they arrive in Antarctica is possibly the greatest single movie quote and scene ever in an animated film.



farm4.static.flickr.com

"Well, this sucks."
 
2012-05-01 04:27:44 PM  
I thought the point of the agency in the Incredibles was to make sure that they didnt expose themselves and the agency didnt show up until that happend. Then they would move the family give them a new identity. But if they were not out making any noise then the agency could give two shiats what they did. The squeeky wheel gets the grease.
 
2012-05-01 06:02:58 PM  

Lando Lincoln: 6) Yes, the parents in Monsters Inc were horribly terrified that their kid was missing for 24 hours. As they should have been. They were horrible parents.

5) The government was good at putting the superheroes into new mundane lives. They were not good at keeping tabs on their actual lives.

4) We don't know the Iron Giant's actual mission. It could have been making first contact, and the incredible array of weapons and defenses could have been there in case the Earth's inhabitants were deemed to be needing removal for the safety of the rest of the galaxy. Well, okay...on second thought, yes, the Iron Giant was here to kill us all.

3) Nobody gives a shiat about this dumb Dreamworks movie.

2) What, you can't be king or a prince of a nation of two people?

1) Again, nobody gives a shiat about this dumb Dreamworks movie.


So do you hate DreamWorks for a legitimate reason, or are you just a Disney fanboy?
 
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