Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Sun)   Actual quote from man held hostage by German Nymphomaniac. He fought back tears to tell them: "I met her on a bus. She invited me back here. It was hell. I can't walk. Please help me"   ( thesun.co.uk) divider line
    More: Followup, German Nymphomaniac, Germans, held hostage, Roy Hodgson, Masters of the Universe, Man Utd, sex addiction, Charles Schulz  
•       •       •

32907 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2012 at 6:37 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



209 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2012-04-30 02:51:48 PM  
Is there some reason this woman isn't being held for kidnapping and/or rape yet? Or is this just one of those guy-can't-get-raped-cuz-they're-all-horny-all-the-time-anyway-guffaw-g uffaw things?
 
2012-04-30 03:07:06 PM  

Humean_Nature: Is there some reason this woman isn't being held for kidnapping and/or rape yet?


I found the answer.
 
2012-04-30 03:08:22 PM  
Nice. We haven't had a good "men can't be victims" thread in like eight hours.
 
2012-04-30 03:10:53 PM  

umad: Nice. We haven't had a good "men can't be victims" thread in like eight hours.


I was actually going to let this go, but the original tag for this thread was [amusing], which just ticked me off.
 
2012-04-30 03:12:34 PM  
Mom?

/obligatory.
 
2012-04-30 03:13:09 PM  
The only problem I have with this is that it was a German lady.
 
2012-04-30 03:14:36 PM  
When police arrived to question the woman she invited two officers to join her in bed for a "quickie".
 
2012-04-30 03:16:39 PM  
Sex Nazi?
 
2012-04-30 03:20:27 PM  

Jake Havechek: Sex Nazi?


No poon for you!

/wait...
 
2012-04-30 03:21:19 PM  

Humean_Nature: umad: Nice. We haven't had a good "men can't be victims" thread in like eight hours.

I was actually going to let this go, but the original tag for this thread was [amusing], which just ticked me off.


I saw that. welcometofark.jpg for both of us I suppose.
 
2012-04-30 03:21:21 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-04-30 03:23:40 PM  
The woman met her latest victim, a 31-year-old African man, on her way home from a sex addiction clinic in Munich.

Good to know she's fully recovered.
 
2012-04-30 03:25:26 PM  

Paris1127: The woman met her latest victim, a 31-year-old African man, on her way home from a sex addiction clinic in Munich.

Good to know she's fully recovered.


FTA...The woman has now been taken into a hospital for psychiatric observation.

Or not.
 
2012-04-30 03:28:58 PM  
Was she hot?
 
2012-04-30 03:33:27 PM  
What her flat might look like...

mimg.ugo.com
 
2012-04-30 03:35:08 PM  
I understand this sort of thing causes a reaction that looks to getting poison ivy.
 
2012-04-30 03:36:59 PM  

i.imgur.com

"Well, now THAT's not going to help her nymphomania. It's just going to exacerbate it."

 
2012-04-30 03:39:40 PM  

EnviroDude: When police arrived to question the woman she invited two officers to join her in bed for a "quickie".


Holy crap. I thought you were making a joke, but that's REALLY in TFA.
 
2012-04-30 03:41:27 PM  
Yeah, yeah. Har de har har. Being held against your will ain't funny.
 
2012-04-30 03:43:37 PM  
Came for the snu-snu references.

Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-04-30 03:45:55 PM  
The article was lacking in details. How exactly was she preventing them from leaving? At first I thought it might be S&M stuff, and she'd strapped them in, but they mention this guy left when she went to sleep and the previous guy was able to call police from the balcony while she slept.
 
2012-04-30 03:51:08 PM  

Humean_Nature: Is there some reason this woman isn't being held for kidnapping and/or rape yet? Or is this just one of those guy-can't-get-raped-cuz-they're-all-horny-all-the-time-anyway-guffaw-g uffaw things?


Because it's a bullshiat made up story?
 
2012-04-30 03:56:33 PM  
Where can a man come upon meeting such a lass?
 
2012-04-30 03:56:46 PM  
He forgot the safe word.

i30.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-30 04:01:52 PM  

Humean_Nature: Is there some reason this woman isn't being held for kidnapping and/or rape yet? Or is this just one of those guy-can't-get-raped-cuz-they're-all-horny-all-the-time-anyway-guffaw-g uffaw things?


Has anyone called Al Sharpton yet? We need to get the Neo-Nazi Panther Party to shed light on this travesty of justice.
 
2012-04-30 04:10:43 PM  

ShawnDoc: The article was lacking in details. How exactly was she preventing them from leaving? At first I thought it might be S&M stuff, and she'd strapped them in, but they mention this guy left when she went to sleep and the previous guy was able to call police from the balcony while she slept.


If he was able to leave when she fell asleep, he was able to leave earlier.

This is either bullsh*t or the guy is married.

I'm guessing bullsh*t.
 
2012-04-30 04:14:02 PM  

propasaurus: Because it's a bullshiat made up story?


I know the Sun can play fast and loose with the facts, but do they actually just make stuff up? Are we talking Fox News here or are we talking National Enquirer? One is twisting and distortion, and the other is Hilary Clinton Gives Birth to Alien Baby.
 
2012-04-30 04:23:57 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: I understand this sort of thing causes a reaction that looks to getting poison ivy.


What you did there, I lol'd.
 
2012-04-30 04:25:33 PM  
It doesn't mention a weapon. I too am curious as to how exactly she was keeping the men captive in between rounds.
 
2012-04-30 04:26:21 PM  
i159.photobucket.com
 
2012-04-30 04:28:45 PM  

Calmamity: ShawnDoc: The article was lacking in details. How exactly was she preventing them from leaving? At first I thought it might be S&M stuff, and she'd strapped them in, but they mention this guy left when she went to sleep and the previous guy was able to call police from the balcony while she slept.

If he was able to leave when she fell asleep, he was able to leave earlier.

This is either bullsh*t or the guy is married.

I'm guessing bullsh*t.


Yeah. Google news has only the one article from The Scum. So, yeah. prolly BS.
 
2012-04-30 04:39:38 PM  

Runs_With_Scissors_: Calmamity: ShawnDoc: The article was lacking in details. How exactly was she preventing them from leaving? At first I thought it might be S&M stuff, and she'd strapped them in, but they mention this guy left when she went to sleep and the previous guy was able to call police from the balcony while she slept.

If he was able to leave when she fell asleep, he was able to leave earlier.

This is either bullsh*t or the guy is married.

I'm guessing bullsh*t.

Yeah. Google news has only the one article from The Scum. So, yeah. prolly BS.


Here's another link, but I don't think it will help the credibility.
 
2012-04-30 04:41:32 PM  
I met this sex nazi
She locked me in her room
She only has sex with me
Every other June
I met this sex nazi
She wants sex on demand
But when she's not commanding
I can't even use my hand
 
2012-04-30 05:03:47 PM  
German lady and African man?

i162.photobucket.com

"No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben."
 
2012-04-30 05:07:22 PM  

namegoeshere: It doesn't mention a weapon. I too am curious as to how exactly she was keeping the men captive in between rounds.


If the man would have had to get physical with her to leave, well... just imagine that story.

"I had to beat the shiat out of her. She wouldn't stop having sex with me!"
 
2012-04-30 05:14:38 PM  

CruiserTwelve: German lady and African man?

[i162.photobucket.com image 400x263]

"No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben."


Baby, please, I am not from Havana...

/it's twue, it's twue
 
2012-04-30 05:41:15 PM  
Why aren't the nymphomaniacs hot 20-somethings that I can meet somewhere?

Humean_Nature: Is there some reason this woman isn't being held for kidnapping and/or rape yet?


Because it was consensual? He met her, farked her a number of times and she couldn't have enough..wanted more, and he farked her again so he could leave. It wasn't like he was being held at knifepoint.
 
2012-04-30 05:50:00 PM  

Humean_Nature: Is there some reason this woman isn't being held for kidnapping and/or rape yet? Or is this just one of those guy-can't-get-raped-cuz-they're-all-horny-all-the-time-anyway-guffaw-g uffaw things?


Because it depends if she is good-looking.
 
2012-04-30 06:42:13 PM  
Feh, apparently I hang our in all the wrong places.

/where's the nearest sex addiction clinic?
 
2012-04-30 06:42:31 PM  
When police arrived to question the woman she invited two officers to join her in bed for a "quickie".

Yeah, this story isn't fake or anything...... *eyeroll*
 
2012-04-30 06:42:33 PM  
maybe she held a gun on him and made him keep licking.
 
2012-04-30 06:43:20 PM  

eraser8: Came for the snu-snu references.

Leaving satisfied.


Same reason, same satisfaction
 
HBK
2012-04-30 06:43:43 PM  

jaylectricity: The only problem I have with this is that it was a German lady.


Officer, please help. There's shiat everywhere. She keeps making me shiat on her, and then she shiats on me. It's terrible.
 
2012-04-30 06:43:55 PM  
Hai guiz!
Haz ne1 mentiond that cartoon episode about Amazonian sex??
 
2012-04-30 06:44:09 PM  
Her jelly donut made him do it: Ich bin ein Berliner
 
2012-04-30 06:44:32 PM  

ShawnDoc: How exactly was she preventing them from leaving?


"If you leave, I'll find where you live and kill you."

"If you leave, I'll call rape on you."

"If you leave, I'll come to your place of employment and ruin your career."
 
2012-04-30 06:44:48 PM  

jaylectricity: The only problem I have with this is that it was a German lady.


Pro: Dirndl.
Con: Scheiße.
 
2012-04-30 06:45:10 PM  
I never thought I would die this way, but I've always really hoped.
 
2012-04-30 06:46:17 PM  
More: Followup, German Nymphomaniac, Germans, held hostage, Roy Hodgson, Masters of the Universe, Man Utd, sex addiction, Charles Schulz

How exactly are the keywords for FARK articles chosen? and why was Snoopy sleeping with He-Man???
 
2012-04-30 06:46:30 PM  
No pictures of the alleged sex maniac? I call bullshiat.
 
Displayed 50 of 209 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report