I would read this article, but I know that it'll just go on 50 pages too long and piss me off in the end.

If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

Saaaaaaaatisfaction!!!!

/Listenhere

I think we ought to do what he says. In 1999, Bryan Smith hit Mr. King with his minivan while the latter was out walking. Fifteen months later, on Stephen King's 53rd birthday, Mr. Smith was found dead in his trailer.

Coincidence?

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin?

A Brief History of Time

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

The only one, besides his short stories, I have ever read, is The Eyes of the Dragon, which I have been told is not really representative of his work.

I tried The Stand after that, but I was in the hospital with a pneumonia at the time, and just couldn't muster the effort.

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

The Green Mile is well worth it.

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

I haven't read any King for years, but when I did I was glad that I started with "The Dead Zone". Also, "Salem's Lot" scared the piss out of me as a teenager if that's what you're looking for.

i would much rather pay another cent or two in taxes rather than set my dick alight and sing that song.

i hate that song.

I'm going to save this link and repost it any time some troll and/or idiot says Buffet or someone like him should just write a check and shut up.

Stephen King's writing sucks.

There I said it.

Along with Shakespeare.

Satanic_Hamster: Buuutttt....

Notice how it's always the people who became millionaires from humble backgrounds and through the fruit of their own labor who have no problem paying more taxes. It's the trust fund babies and the leaches who were always rich who are screaming bloody murder.

That's a really awesome point. It's a lot harder to say "Fark you, I got mine" when you know what it's like to come from nothing and to work for everything you have.

When Mitt does this wife Ann must think he is an extra wild and crazy man inside.
He does the 14% pecker on fire dance but leaves his magic underwear on.

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

"Pet Sematary" is my favorite and probably his darkest novel, "The Shining" is his scariest. Most would agree he is at his best with the short story though.

Sorry Republicans, I trust my Uncle Stevie more than I trust you.

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

Cujo and Firestarter are his best two books, imho. You can't go wrong with either one. The Dead Zone is excellent too. Night Shift is his first collection of short stories, and well worth reading.

Gulper Eel: Oooh, he started with a Chris-Christie-is-fat line! How bold, how transgressive! Speak truth to power, Stevie baby!

You sound...fat.

meat0918: bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

The only one, besides his short stories, I have ever read, is The Eyes of the Dragon, which I have been told is not really representative of his work.

I tried The Stand after that, but I was in the hospital with a pneumonia at the time, and just couldn't muster the effort.

The Stand is worth the effort but for someone new to King's brand of horror, I'd recommend any of his short story compilations. Also, It is a good read, albeit long. (I probably like It because it reminds me of my childhood friends)

But yeah, The Stand is probably King's best story even though, as King is wont to do, he wraps it up too quickly.

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

I'd start with Firestarter. That was my first Stephen King read, was hooked immediately.

More great novels:
Salem's Lot, Carrie, Christine, Cujo, The Dead Zone, Green Mile, It, Misery, Pet Cemetery, The Shining, The Stand (uncut version if you're gonna do it), The Talisman.

Also, see The Mist. It's one of his older books, and was pretty good, but the movie was freaky as hell. Stephen King himself said the movie ending messed his head up and he wished he had come up with it for the book.

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

Novels:
'Salems Lot
The Shining
The Stand
Misery
Desperation

Anthologies
Different Seasons
Night Shift

Don't Troll Me Bro!: bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

I'd start with Firestarter. That was my first Stephen King read, was hooked immediately.

More great novels:
Salem's Lot, Carrie, Christine, Cujo, The Dead Zone, Green Mile, It, Misery, Pet Cemetery, The Shining, The Stand (uncut version if you're gonna do it), The Talisman.

Also, see The Mist. It's one of his older books short stories, and was pretty good, but the movie was freaky as hell. Stephen King himself said the movie ending messed his head up and he wished he had come up with it for the book.

FTFM

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

The Stand and It are his epics, great but both extremely long.

If short stories are more your speed, Nightmares and Dreamscapes is pretty good. The stories range from simply odd to creepy to goofy.

I really enjoyed The Talisman for a nice mix of horror and fantasy.

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

I'd stick with the short stories first:

Night Shift

Skeleton Crew

Then a little longer:

Bachman Books

Then any of the older novels. Avoid the newer stuff.

HeartBurnKid: I'm going to save this link and repost it any time some troll and/or idiot says Buffet or someone like him should just write a check and shut up.

Might change it up a bit with this too, from time to time.

I think King is a stronger novella and short story writer than he is with longer novels. He tends to toss allusions into the story that sometimes feel a bit overdone, and I just think he's a much tighter writer in 200 pages or so.

I suggest the Bachman books, especially The Running Man and The Long Walk, and as for non-nom-de-plume books, I really love The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon.

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

Hearts in Atlantis is pretty good, but it's more in line with Green Mile or Stand By Me than his better known horror work. The first two or three books of the Dark Tower series are good as well.

Satanic_Hamster: Buuutttt....

Notice how it's always the people who became millionaires from humble backgrounds and through the fruit of their own labor who have no problem paying more taxes. It's the trust fund babies and the leaches who were always rich who are screaming bloody murder.

No, I haven't noticed that at all. I'm sure you have plenty of anecdotes to reinforce your own views.

Corvus: I shiat you not, I know people who waste money so they don't have to pay taxes on it. They are completely retarded and can't grasp they are saving about 25 cents on every $1 they throw away.

/no I am not kidding.

Genuinely curious how they do this. Paying more for business expenses and salaries of business employees? Ripping up winning lottery tickets? Donating money to charity? How exactly are they wasting money to not pay taxes on it?

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

Different Seasons is a collection of four novellas that make for a quick read if you don't want to invest your time in one of his much longer books. They're also a bit easier to start off with as they're not as horror focused as his novels. The downside is that three of the four have already been made into movies so you might not get much out of reading a story you've already seen on the big screen.

bextraordinary: If a Farkette was looking for a new book to read and wanted to get into Stephen King's stuff, where would you Farkers recommend she begin? Any books to definitely avoid?

It depends on what kind of stuff you like reading. If you like horror, I would recommend Pet Cemetery. That is one of my favorite books and pretty much turned me into a Stephen King fan for life (he scared me with a draft on a stair...). If it hooks you, go with IT and the Stand. Both are excellent books but VERY long reads, and can be daunting for a SK virgin.

If you want to go the cycle route, then pick up the Gunslinger and then go with the rest of the books. They're all excellent, except for Wizard and Glass. You'll need to read it, unfortunately, but honestly you can skip anything that involves Susan Delgado and not miss much. And it'll turn it into a short story! Honestly, that is the only book in the series that pissed me off. I'd had such high hopes for the story about Susan from the first 3 books, and when I actually got the story I was like WTF! All the important stuff you'll need to know, you can get by reading about her dying (the best part of the damned story, except for the melodrama) and just reading the rest. Once you get to the last book, do not, I repeat, do not skip to the end. You will spoil it in uphappy ways. It will make you cry, I guarantee it. So just read it straight through.

His short stories are excellent. Pick a collection. You'll find out that you know some of them, kind of, from being adapted into movies. Just beware, some adaptations are truer than others. The Body is a must read, especially if you have watched Stand By Me. You'll be reading it in Richard Dryfus's voice. Which really isn't bad. Nice voice.

Misery: just watch the movie. 1. Kathy Bates so makes that movie. 2. the book gets boring fast. I loved the movie. The book I stopped reading when having to piss, thirst, and hunger were having a race. Yes, it was that boring.

My husband hates Insomnia, but I love that book.

The Talisman: such an excellent book. Another must read. Put that up there to read after Pet Cemetery and before IT and The Stand. Black House is not as good, but pretty good. It's got good closure with the Talisman, so that makes it worth reading, at least, even if the tie-in to the Dark Tower series seems a little forced.

Regulators (written as Richard Bachman) and Desperation are both really good. Read them at any point. Warning: they're the same story told two different ways. So you'll be like "I've heard of that character before." Basically, it's two ideas he had for the same story, so he eventually wrote both. Good luck picking out which is the best one.

Cujo and Carrie I've not personally read, but they're supposed to both be good books. Note: Sissy Spacek read the book before she began filming the movie to make sure she was really into the character, so if you enjoyed the movie then you'll probably enjoy the book even more.

And that's your spoiler-free tutorial to Stephen King for today!

/read Tommyknockers at your own risk. It is long and will try to bore you, but those who have finished it swear to me it is worth it.

Thanks, everyone! I'll check 'em out. I was looking last night because I was curious about the Dark Tower stuff, so it's an awesome coincidence that this thread popped up today and I could get myself pointed in the right direction. :D

Cujo marked the point where King stopped being a great writer, and instead became a great self-promoter. But hey, if anyone deserves the money they make, it's King. The guy apparently writes 23 hours a day.

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Also, see The Mist. It's one of his older books short stories novellas, and was pretty good, but the movie was freaky as hell.

The movie was...OK, but the ending was spectacular. Being the sick fark I am, I laughed while my then-GF was horrified.