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(Myrtle Beach Online)   News: Woman assaults boyfriend with a hammer. Fark: Did we mention it was an inflatable hammer?   (myrtlebeachonline.com) divider line 112
    More: Amusing, Myrtle Beach, Sun News, I Suzuki, rapes, boyfriends  
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6775 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2012 at 2:37 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-30 11:37:26 AM  
Finally, the answer to the question no one was brave enough to ask:

media.myrtlebeachonline.com

What would Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter's hermaphroditic love child look like?
 
2012-04-30 11:39:15 AM  
Is that a man, or a woman?
 
2012-04-30 01:06:59 PM  
hammer time!
 
2012-04-30 01:25:26 PM  
To be fair, it was an inflatable Wolverine hammer, which is pretty offensive:

i.imgur.com
 
2012-04-30 01:26:21 PM  

dahmers love zombie: To be fair, it was an inflatable Wolverine hammer, which is pretty offensive:

[i.imgur.com image 500x375]


I'd be afraid that adamantium-inflused jizm would chip my teeth.
 
2012-04-30 01:38:29 PM  
(Hmmm... that reminds me: whatever happened to my inflatable head wrench?)
 
2012-04-30 02:08:15 PM  
WHO'TH THOR NOW YOU THTUPID BATHTARD???!!!
 
2012-04-30 02:34:19 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: WHO'TH THOR NOW YOU THTUPID BATHTARD???!!!


lol
 
2012-04-30 02:37:45 PM  
Well, I guess you fark what you can until something better comes along.
 
2012-04-30 02:38:06 PM  
BONK BONK BONK!
 
2012-04-30 02:39:32 PM  
Did we mention it was still in the box? On the pallet?
Shrink wrapped to a shipment of anvils?
 
2012-04-30 02:40:01 PM  
CSB: I once had a woman try to kill me with a claw hammer. It's funny now.
 
2012-04-30 02:41:54 PM  
FTA:
"In her police interview inside the residence, Babcock said she remembered swinging the hammer at Beachem because she was trying to kill him, the report said."

She's as deadly as she is beautiful.
 
2012-04-30 02:42:38 PM  
Kinky...
 
2012-04-30 02:43:03 PM  
991.com
 
2012-04-30 02:44:35 PM  
Woo-Woo-Woo, Nyuk nyuk
 
2012-04-30 02:45:49 PM  
FTFA: "Police recovered the hammer from the bushes where Beachem said he had thrown it, which was across the parking lot and away from the residence, the report said."


I call bullshiat. No way you can throw an inflatable anything that far with out having it get blown away (or astray) by the wind!
 
2012-04-30 02:45:50 PM  

cgraves67: ...She's as deadly as she is beautiful.


I lol'd
 
2012-04-30 02:48:22 PM  
Wait a minute. Did I miss something? I read that twice and can find no reason why HE was charged with criminal domestic violence. Sounds to me like he was doing all her could to avoid the woman.

/Myrtle Beach: South Carolina's Florida
 
2012-04-30 02:49:42 PM  
In her police interview inside the residence, Babcock said she remembered swinging the hammer at Beachem because she was trying to kill him, the report said

Once again, you probably always wanna take advantage of that "You have the right to remain silent" thingy....
 
2012-04-30 02:53:01 PM  
Those things can have really sharp creases, which could even break the skin.
 
2012-04-30 02:53:16 PM  
I had a roommate years ago. Everyone called him "The Hammer". Turns out he had gone home really drunk, thought he had lost his key and forced his way into his house. But, it wasn't his house and he made so much noise getting in that the woman living there was waiting for him... with a ball-peen hammer.

He took about 4 shots to the skull before collapsing in tears. I heard the 9/11 tape with him in the background crying and the woman kept yelling at him to shut up.
 
2012-04-30 02:54:10 PM  

JackieRabbit: Wait a minute. Did I miss something? I read that twice and can find no reason why HE was charged with criminal domestic violence. Sounds to me like he was doing all her could to avoid the woman.

/Myrtle Beach: South Carolina's Florida


True, but I'm guessing it's because of this: He said he, "grabbed her and moved her aside," breaking the drywall in the process, as he tried to get out of the bathroom, the report said.
 
2012-04-30 02:54:50 PM  

JackieRabbit: Wait a minute. Did I miss something? I read that twice and can find no reason why HE was charged with criminal domestic violence. Sounds to me like he was doing all her could to avoid the woman.

/Myrtle Beach: South Carolina's Florida


Clue for you.
 
2012-04-30 02:55:34 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: hammer time!


Stop.
 
2012-04-30 02:59:46 PM  
Reminds me of the time I was arrested for attempded moida with this:

1.bp.blogspot.com

I was only let go because of Stand Your Ground.
 
2012-04-30 03:01:00 PM  
Ah, Myrtle Beach. The only redeeming quality of ever taking a trip to that cesspool was the fact that it quite often felt like watching a live taping of Cops in all its chain-link jumping, mullet-wearin' glory.
 
2012-04-30 03:02:05 PM  

JackieRabbit: Wait a minute. Did I miss something? I read that twice and can find no reason why HE was charged with criminal domestic violence. Sounds to me like he was doing all her could to avoid the woman.

/Myrtle Beach: South Carolina's Florida


because of the Violance Against Women Act. He is a man and is therefore automatically wrong according to the police department. What actually happened doesnt matter, they always arrest the man.

FYI this type of bullshiat is why the VAWA was being challenged. if you think that being arrested because you were born with a penis is wrong and sexist. then i would recommend being against the VAWA.

for the record, domestic violence is commited just as often, if not more often by women.
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
 
2012-04-30 03:06:14 PM  
technoclips.ru
 
2012-04-30 03:08:04 PM  
Since it was only an inflatable hammer, her lawyer is requesting that the charges be reduced, as no pain could be inflicted. In other words, she pleas: hammer don't hurt 'em.
 
2012-04-30 03:10:58 PM  
Why use an inflatable hammer?
It was the only hammer she could find.
 
2012-04-30 03:17:34 PM  

lazyguineapig33: JackieRabbit: Wait a minute. Did I miss something? I read that twice and can find no reason why HE was charged with criminal domestic violence. Sounds to me like he was doing all her could to avoid the woman.

/Myrtle Beach: South Carolina's Florida

because of the Violance Against Women Act. He is a man and is therefore automatically wrong according to the police department. What actually happened doesnt matter, they always arrest the man.

FYI this type of bullshiat is why the VAWA was being challenged. if you think that being arrested because you were born with a penis is wrong and sexist. then i would recommend being against the VAWA.

for the record, domestic violence is commited just as often, if not more often by women.
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm


A have never supported the VAWA. I know it is feminist bullshiat. Women are abused by men sometimes, but it is funny how these women go from one abusive relationship to another or stay with an abusive partner. And I know all about how women can be just as abusive as men. I have a friend, who five years ago, declared enough and divorced his abusive wife. She'd start some crap with him and slap him around, scratch him, etc. If he tried to protect himself, the police would be called. He never actually harmed her, so he never went to jail. But he did spend quite a few nights in his car, since the law is that the man must be removed from the home. But she was never removed, nor arrested for domestic violence. So one morning he got up a bit early, packed a bag and when she came downstairs, he told her he was finished. He came back later with a sheriff's deputy to get the rest of his things.

At least in SC, it seems, the woman will be arrested.
 
2012-04-30 03:17:35 PM  

lazyguineapig33: JackieRabbit: Wait a minute. Did I miss something? I read that twice and can find no reason why HE was charged with criminal domestic violence. Sounds to me like he was doing all her could to avoid the woman.

/Myrtle Beach: South Carolina's Florida

because of the Violance Against Women Act. He is a man and is therefore automatically wrong according to the police department. What actually happened doesnt matter, they always arrest the man.

FYI this type of bullshiat is why the VAWA was being challenged. if you think that being arrested because you were born with a penis is wrong and sexist. then i would recommend being against the VAWA.

for the record, domestic violence is commited just as often, if not more often by women.
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm


In this case the woman was arrested on domestic violence charges too.
 
2012-04-30 03:20:36 PM  
He should have shot her, stand your ground and all that.
 
2012-04-30 03:25:30 PM  
Give her the inflatable chair!
 
2012-04-30 03:36:08 PM  
The play by play of that article is awesome. So in depth!

For best comedic effect... visualize Elin and Tiger Woods while reading.

Thank you South!
 
2012-04-30 03:36:28 PM  
i.imgur.com
Approves - Break it down.

i.imgur.com
Approves - Trust me - I know what I'm doing!
 
2012-04-30 03:38:59 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: In this case the woman was arrested on domestic violence charges too.


Right, but going by the information presented in the article, it should not have been "too". It should have been the woman was arrested, the man was offered counseling for domestic violence victims.

FWIW, and yes, I know it's in the Washington Times, House Republicans are going to offer a : Republican VAWA alternative

I don't know much about it to know if it's a substantive alternative sans the obnoxious discrimination of VAWA or if it's a typical Republican smoke screen. It seems to have been written/sponsored by 11 women Republicans.
 
2012-04-30 03:40:27 PM  
An inflatable hammer? I wonder what caused her to blow up!
 
2012-04-30 03:41:51 PM  
According to the article alone, domestic violence counselors should be praising the man's actions, which was to leave and get out without any sort of attack on the woman. (If I remember what I read in the article when it was greened correctly)

If so, then domestic violence counselors should be aghast that he was arrested and should ask why.

All that said, I do wonder how the drywall was broken.
 
2012-04-30 03:42:34 PM  

Oliver Twisted: JackieRabbit: Wait a minute. Did I miss something? I read that twice and can find no reason why HE was charged with criminal domestic violence. Sounds to me like he was doing all her could to avoid the woman.

/Myrtle Beach: South Carolina's Florida

Clue for you.


Fun fact: If you put your hands on a woman, over say her throat, all she has to say is 'gee officer, it felt like i couldn't breathe.' BOOM, you get felony assault.
Lesson: Never ever touch the woman.
 
2012-04-30 03:42:53 PM  
If she is getting arrested for hitting him with an inflatable hammer then he should also be arrested for "moving her out of the way" in a manner to cause damage to drywall.

If you see this as sexism, you have achieved "Patrick Star" level stupidity.
 
2012-04-30 03:44:07 PM  

RoyBatty: According to the article alone, domestic violence counselors should be praising the man's actions, which was to leave and get out without any sort of attack on the woman. (If I remember what I read in the article when it was greened correctly)


You should try actually reading the article before commenting.
 
2012-04-30 03:51:08 PM  

RoyBatty: According to the article alone, domestic violence counselors should be praising the man's actions, which was to leave and get out without any sort of attack on the woman. (If I remember what I read in the article when it was greened correctly)

If so, then domestic violence counselors should be aghast that he was arrested and should ask why.

All that said, I do wonder how the drywall was broken.


He was arrested because he is male (and being black probably didn't help much). It's been my limited experience that the police and family court system automatically assume the man is a complete and utter ass and is at fault 99% of the time. But, hey, I'm not bitter.
 
2012-04-30 03:51:21 PM  

lazyguineapig33: FYI this type of bullshiat is why the VAWA was being challenged. if you think that being arrested because you were born with a penis is wrong and sexist. then i would recommend being against the VAWA.


No, no it is not. So shut your shill mouth and go back to play in the sandbox.
 
2012-04-30 03:51:49 PM  
Maxwell's?
 
2012-04-30 03:53:04 PM  

jst3p: If she is getting arrested for hitting him with an inflatable hammer then he should also be arrested for "moving her out of the way" in a manner to cause damage to drywall.

If you see this as sexism, you have achieved "Patrick Star" level stupidity.


What level of stupidity does it take to assume that he broke the drywall with her body? Could she have broken the drywall herself as she tried to strike him? In an effort to get her out of the way, she struggled and he got off balance and fell into the wall? We don't have all the facts and they had both been drinking, but it does appear that she was the aggressor that he was trying to get away from. If this is the case and she got herself hurt while committing assault, she deserved it. Had these been two men, with the exact same circumstances, this man would not have been arrested; his actions would have been deemed self-defense. After all, she did tell the police that she was trying to kill him. This isn't sexist, but only a non-emotional examination of the known facts.
 
2012-04-30 03:54:51 PM  

RoyBatty: All that said, I do wonder how the drywall was broken.


It's a simple matter of mass. You get that much mass moving, even a little bit, and it's going to take a lot to stop it. And a flimsy little sheet of drywall ain't gonna cut it.

/she's fat, is what I'm saying
 
2012-04-30 03:59:26 PM  
A man's step by step guide on how to survive domestic abuse:

1. Drop to the floor in a fetal position.
2. Cover head with one arm.
3. Cover balls with the other.
4. Let her kick and wail away until she wears herself out.
5. Get up when it's safe.
6. Load your motorcycle, tools, clothes and personal affects into your truck/trailer.
7. Leave.
8. Do not respond to the upcoming "I'm sorry" and "I miss you" calls, texts and emails.
9. Do not ever tell anybody that your 105 pound wife/gf beat the crap out of you.

That's how I did it anyway... seems to have worked. Your results may vary.
 
2012-04-30 04:00:54 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
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