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(CBS Detroit)   In the greatest example of viral marketing to date, BMW gets sued because its motorcycle seats cause 20 month erections, prepares to sell 10 million bikes next month   (detroit.cbslocal.com) divider line 191
    More: Spiffy, BMW, motorcycle seat  
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17647 clicks; posted to Business » on 30 Apr 2012 at 12:50 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-30 01:28:29 PM

rudemix: False, False, False!

The warning for Viagra about erections lasting greater than 4 hours is not just a warning 'cuz it feels so good you might never stop farking!'. It's a warning because longer than 4 hours and your tissue begins necrotizing. Why? Because an erection isn't just blood flowing to your crank, it's blood flowing to your crank and getting caught in two large chambers there that cause the erection. When the blood doesn't flow, there is no oxygen and other needed things brought to those cells by blood. So the tissue begins to necrotize. I worked for a urologist that took ER calls. He went in for more long lasting erections than just about anything else. The ultimate treatment was actually draining blood from the chambers via hypodermic needle. Remember that next time you want to do coke and Viagra, or inject stuff into your peen, or ride a BMW motorcycle.

As for this guys 4 month erection? Bullshiat.


Not to mention they are painful...I had priapism before, almost had to go to the ER, but it subsided. Very not pleasurable.

/from trazadone, not ED drug
 
2012-04-30 01:28:45 PM
Has he tried jackin' it... up?
 
2012-04-30 01:30:27 PM
It is not a defect.
It is a feature.

/what brand aftermarket? jus wonderin. should know.
 
2012-04-30 01:31:12 PM

jackandwater: Timmy the Tumor: "You should see the swollen dicks that ride Harleys..."

Well, riding one always did make me horny.

//not a guy tho.
/drfa


Doing anything this weekend?????
 
2012-04-30 01:32:44 PM

fonebone77: Theaetetus: This poster says: SurfaceTension: That can't be true. Everyone knows people only by BMWs to make up for a lack of a penis.

BMW makes a few of the most popular bikes in the world. Some of their models are used by law enforcement throughout the US as well.

But sure thing--you're right. Because everyone has a small dick, right?

The law enforcement guys certainly do.

I used to sell BMW motorcycles. I can assure that BMW riders are big dicks.


You are entitled to your opinion. At least BMW riders actually ride thier bikes. HD owners stand around in parking lots pointing at eachothers chrome and comparing t-shirts.
 
2012-04-30 01:35:02 PM
I have a heated seat, but the damn thing has never given me wood. I might be doing it wrong.
 
2012-04-30 01:35:10 PM

rjakobi: Usually when one is buying a BMW, it is to conceal the fact they have tiny genitals.


SurfaceTension: Everyone knows people only by BMWs to make up for a lack of a penis.


No, that's Harleys
 
2012-04-30 01:35:34 PM

elysive: thomps Sin_City_Superhero: This poster says: SurfaceTension: That can't be true. Everyone knows people only by BMWs to make up for a lack of a penis.

BMW makes a few of the most popular bikes in the world. Some of their models are used by law enforcement throughout the US as well.

But sure thing--you're right. Because everyone has a small dick, right?

Lighten up, Francis. It was a JOKE.

leave him alone, he very clearly has a small dick.

Somehow I always suspect that the people who gravitate towards BMW/sports car dick jokes are the same people who can't afford to own BMW's and other performance vehicles.

/is a girl


I was just being a smartass.

/owns a 5-series
 
2012-04-30 01:35:53 PM
I ride a beat-up Honda. Sometimes I get an erection, but only when I pass the elementary school.
 
2012-04-30 01:36:30 PM

baka-san: No, that's Harleys


i thought those were bought as accessories for a bald spot and a beer gut when you got into your 40's
 
2012-04-30 01:37:02 PM

stuffy: He said he's had the erection non-stop for 20 months. And it comes with another side effect: The lawsuit says Wolf is "now is unable to engage in sexual activity

How dose having an erection keep you from having sex?
Somebodies doing it wrong.


farm3.static.flickr.com
He doesn't avoid women, but he does deny them his essence.

/BMW's are the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face
 
2012-04-30 01:40:48 PM
All the BMW-directed vitriol is making me chuckle.

/Has a cheap-ass vstrom and likes it.
 
2012-04-30 01:42:02 PM

fonebone77: Theaetetus: This poster says: SurfaceTension: That can't be true. Everyone knows people only by BMWs to make up for a lack of a penis.

BMW makes a few of the most popular bikes in the world. Some of their models are used by law enforcement throughout the US as well.

But sure thing--you're right. Because everyone has a small dick, right?

The law enforcement guys certainly do.

I used to sell BMW motorcycles. I can assure that BMW riders are big dicks.


Some people who sell BMWs are big dicks. I'm looking at you, Lester.
 
2012-04-30 01:42:53 PM

Mishno: Some people who sell BMWs are big dicks. I'm looking at you, Lester.


FTFM
 
2012-04-30 01:44:10 PM
I'm in the market for a BMW, and every single pre-owned bike seems to have a Corbin seat on it. I figured it was the first cheap upgrade a new owner does, not something to do with boners.
 
2012-04-30 01:44:26 PM

fuhfuhfuh: SurfaceTension: That can't be true. Everyone knows people only by BMWs to make up for a lack of a penis.

You buy a BMW motorcycle for the comfort and reliability (to accommodate your small penis comfortably)
You buy a Ducati/Jap crotch rocket motorcycle for the sheer fact that you have a small penis and want to remind everyone of that fact
You buy a Harley motorcycle because your penis is more of an "inny" than an "outy"

/Ride a BMW K1200R, previous bike a Kawi Ninja


what about those of us that have Japanese cruisers?


/V-star
//Fury (maybe...) or M109R
 
2012-04-30 01:46:20 PM
I ride an R1100R and I'm hung like fu(kin' Cockzilla!


/so there!
 
2012-04-30 01:46:21 PM
Did he have a seat cock-up or a cock up seat?
 
2012-04-30 01:46:49 PM
When I had my BMW R100 I rode about 15,000 miles/year and was constantly turgid. Then again, I had perpetu-boner long before I ever bought the bike and after I sold it.


/If Harley-Davidson built an airplane, would you want to fly in it?
 
2012-04-30 01:47:23 PM
Ewan McGregor did more to make me want a BMW adventure bike than any advertising campaign could ever have done.
 
2012-04-30 01:48:52 PM
Numbness. If that caused prolonged erections I would still be with my last few boring in the sack girlfriends.
 
2012-04-30 01:49:04 PM

keylock71: Well, they were marketed specifically to appeal to colossal pricks...


Yeah, the dick joke was amusing, but this one doesn't come off as a joke, so let me say that you know nothing about motorcycles, motorcycle history or motorcyclists if you believe this.
 
2012-04-30 01:49:47 PM

thomps: you sound like you have a shallow vagina.

i don't have a beef with BMW cars or motorcycles, generally. i have noticed, though, that most people who lease BMW 3 series are massive douchebags.


Where I live it seems that the most popular cars are BMWs, hybrids and Jeeps. Because so many people drive the things (with BMW's very few people actually seem to own cars with noteworthy engines), it would be ridiculous for me to try to generalize on the whole population. What, you want to narrow the joke to 3series BMW leasers have small pricks? All I know is that BMW has amazingly well made machines. The same goes for Porsche and Mercedes and Ferrari and producers of other luxury, sports and super cars. I'm less knowledgeable about bikes, but my boyfriend could probably go on about those.

We've never leased any vehicles. I guess a douchebag who stupidly leases what he can't rightly afford might be a jerk with his newfound toy. Does it make the car or bike any less desirable or less of a work of art? People can keep on hating on those who have the toys they wish they could afford. There are plenty of people who own those products because they like quality (or speed or handling or maybe even shaming other drivers periodically because it is surprising how often people in SUV's and dumpy old cars will suddenly try to race you at a light).

SurfaceTension: I was just being a smartass.

/owns a 5-series


Nice!
 
2012-04-30 01:50:58 PM

cannotsuggestaname: what about those of us that have Japanese cruisers?


Smooth like a Ken doll.
 
2012-04-30 01:52:44 PM
My god, but this guy is full of shiat. Docs would have had to amputate his penis long ago. The ridge seat made it feel like he had a big one shoved up his ass and he liked it a bit too much.
 
2012-04-30 01:58:58 PM
BMW Motorcycles of Southeast Michigan in Canton, Mich., checked out the story and noted the man wasn't riding a standard BMW motorcycle seat. He was on an after-market seat, which start at about $200.

Case dismissed.
 
2012-04-30 02:00:28 PM

cgraves67: FTA:
"...has given him an erection he just can't shake."

He may be doing it wrong.


Maybe he should try a seat made from uncooked bacon.
 
2012-04-30 02:01:52 PM

JackieRabbit: My god, but this guy is full of shiat. Docs would have had to amputate his penis long ago. The ridge seat made it feel like he had a big one shoved up his ass and he liked it a bit too much.


Oh yea, medically, full o chit, is not humanly possible.
 
2012-04-30 02:01:56 PM

elysive: thomps: you sound like you have a shallow vagina.

i don't have a beef with BMW cars or motorcycles, generally. i have noticed, though, that most people who lease BMW 3 series are massive douchebags.

Where I live it seems that the most popular cars are BMWs, hybrids and Jeeps. Because so many people drive the things (with BMW's very few people actually seem to own cars with noteworthy engines), it would be ridiculous for me to try to generalize on the whole population. What, you want to narrow the joke to 3series BMW leasers have small pricks? All I know is that BMW has amazingly well made machines. The same goes for Porsche and Mercedes and Ferrari and producers of other luxury, sports and super cars. I'm less knowledgeable about bikes, but my boyfriend could probably go on about those.

We've never leased any vehicles. I guess a douchebag who stupidly leases what he can't rightly afford might be a jerk with his newfound toy. Does it make the car or bike any less desirable or less of a work of art? People can keep on hating on those who have the toys they wish they could afford. There are plenty of people who own those products because they like quality (or speed or handling or maybe even shaming other drivers periodically because it is surprising how often people in SUV's and dumpy old cars will suddenly try to race you at a light).

SurfaceTension: I was just being a smartass.

/owns a 5-series

Nice!


it's an easy and relatively universally held stereotype which makes it an easy joke. speaking simply as a brand of car, i've never felt that BMWs performed as well or felt as luxurious as other similarly priced luxury cars. i think that they've become very adept at coasting on brand as opposed to quality. but that's just my two cents - i haven't been in the market for a car in years so my view might be dated.
 
2012-04-30 02:02:22 PM
BMW: You're welcome!
 
2012-04-30 02:03:17 PM

cup of tea: rudemix: False, False, False!

The warning for Viagra about erections lasting greater than 4 hours is not just a warning 'cuz it feels so good you might never stop farking!'. It's a warning because longer than 4 hours and your tissue begins necrotizing. Why? Because an erection isn't just blood flowing to your crank, it's blood flowing to your crank and getting caught in two large chambers there that cause the erection. When the blood doesn't flow, there is no oxygen and other needed things brought to those cells by blood. So the tissue begins to necrotize. I worked for a urologist that took ER calls. He went in for more long lasting erections than just about anything else. The ultimate treatment was actually draining blood from the chambers via hypodermic needle. Remember that next time you want to do coke and Viagra, or inject stuff into your peen, or ride a BMW motorcycle.

As for this guys 4 month erection? Bullshiat.

Not to mention they are painful...I had priapism before, almost had to go to the ER, but it subsided. Very not pleasurable.

/from trazadone, not ED drug


How about a bite from phoneutria nigriventer to ruin your day.
 
2012-04-30 02:05:07 PM
The only person I know who owns a BMW motorcycle is my father in law, so I am not getting a kick out of this thread...
 
2012-04-30 02:05:21 PM

SurfaceTension: That can't be true. Everyone knows people only by BMWs to make up for a lack of a penis.


When did you become an expert on the size of other men's junk?
 
2012-04-30 02:06:47 PM

lennavan: The only person I know who owns a BMW motorcycle is my father in law, so I am not getting a kick out of this thread...


how big of an erection do you think he gets when he's riding, if you had to think about it?
 
2012-04-30 02:07:10 PM

lennavan: The only person I know who owns a BMW motorcycle is my father in law, so I am not getting a kick out of this thread...


My dad had one. He passed in August. It is a great bike. Mom sold it to a friend from dad's motorcycle club.

Kinda funny hearing the bikers at the funeral talking about Dad rolling up on his "stately BMW" and then shocking them as they tried to keep up, no matter what the road conditions were..
 
2012-04-30 02:07:47 PM

thomps: lennavan: The only person I know who owns a BMW motorcycle is my father in law, so I am not getting a kick out of this thread...

how big of an erection do you think he gets when he's riding, if you had to think about it?


I bet SurfaceTension knows.
 
2012-04-30 02:09:21 PM
A personal favorite...

www.dialbforblog.com
 
2012-04-30 02:11:23 PM

thomps: elysive: thomps: you sound like you have a shallow vagina.

i don't have a beef with BMW cars or motorcycles, generally. i have noticed, though, that most people who lease BMW 3 series are massive douchebags.

Where I live it seems that the most popular cars are BMWs, hybrids and Jeeps. Because so many people drive the things (with BMW's very few people actually seem to own cars with noteworthy engines), it would be ridiculous for me to try to generalize on the whole population. What, you want to narrow the joke to 3series BMW leasers have small pricks? All I know is that BMW has amazingly well made machines. The same goes for Porsche and Mercedes and Ferrari and producers of other luxury, sports and super cars. I'm less knowledgeable about bikes, but my boyfriend could probably go on about those.

We've never leased any vehicles. I guess a douchebag who stupidly leases what he can't rightly afford might be a jerk with his newfound toy. Does it make the car or bike any less desirable or less of a work of art? People can keep on hating on those who have the toys they wish they could afford. There are plenty of people who own those products because they like quality (or speed or handling or maybe even shaming other drivers periodically because it is surprising how often people in SUV's and dumpy old cars will suddenly try to race you at a light).

SurfaceTension: I was just being a smartass.

/owns a 5-series

Nice!

it's an easy and relatively universally held stereotype which makes it an easy joke. speaking simply as a brand of car, i've never felt that BMWs performed as well or felt as luxurious as other similarly priced luxury cars. i think that they've become very adept at coasting on brand as opposed to quality. but that's just my two cents - i haven't been in the market for a car in years so my view might be dated.


Maybe jaded, but not dated.
$60,000 for a ride? snarffle
 
2012-04-30 02:13:44 PM

thomps: lennavan: The only person I know who owns a BMW motorcycle is my father in law, so I am not getting a kick out of this thread...

how big of an erection do you think he gets when he's riding, if you had to think about it?


OH IF EVER THERE WERE A POST WORTHY OF PERMANENT BANNAGE

You know, the worst part is he keeps telling me I should go ride it with him someday. God help me if I remember your post next time he asks.
 
2012-04-30 02:16:18 PM

ricewater_stool: I've seen 4 headlines for the same article and this is the least funny.


That suffering cost you $5/month.
 
2012-04-30 02:16:28 PM

lennavan: You know, the worst part is he keeps telling me I should go ride it with him someday. God help me if I remember your post next time he asks.


Imagine the follow up conversation with your wife

soon, she'll equate out riding his BMW, with being out riding his "BMW"
 
2012-04-30 02:21:53 PM

thomps: it's an easy and relatively universally held stereotype which makes it an easy joke. speaking simply as a brand of car, i've never felt that BMWs performed as well or felt as luxurious as other similarly priced luxury cars. i think that they've become very adept at coasting on brand as opposed to quality. but that's just my two cents - i haven't been in the market for a car in years so my view might be dated.


Agreed. The 2002 was one of the world's best sport-sedans and this translated into the first 320i and 325i models. I think it was when they started the E36 run of the 3 series that they started pimping the things up too much with "luxury" geegaws, copying Mercedes and the like. I think it was a big distraction from the performance. Plus you get rich idiots who get a boner at the idea of a Luxury Sports Car only to say, "Yeah, but can you soften the ride some? And can you get it in an automatic transmission that doesn't rev so high? And can I have refrigerated cup-holders?" because they don't really understand nor want the "Sports" part of "Luxury Sports Car". BMW builds it because when it's all said and done, they're in business to show a profit and if that's what the market wants, that's what they'll build.
 
2012-04-30 02:34:34 PM
www.huntermotorcycles.com.au
 
2012-04-30 02:38:00 PM

EbolaNYC: Numbness. If that caused prolonged erections I would still be with my last few boring in the sack girlfriends.


Exactly what I was thinking.
 
2012-04-30 02:38:23 PM
If I wanted a 20-month erection, I'd hire a Chinese architect
 
2012-04-30 02:42:10 PM
I'm willing to suspect he gives his peener the ol death grip when knocking out. That will explain his crappy sex life.
 
2012-04-30 02:43:22 PM

elysive: thomps Sin_City_Superhero: This poster says: SurfaceTension: That can't be true. Everyone knows people only by BMWs to make up for a lack of a penis.

BMW makes a few of the most popular bikes in the world. Some of their models are used by law enforcement throughout the US as well.

But sure thing--you're right. Because everyone has a small dick, right?

Lighten up, Francis. It was a JOKE.

leave him alone, he very clearly has a small dick.

Somehow I always suspect that the people who gravitate towards BMW/sports car dick jokes are the same people who can't afford to own BMW's and other performance vehicles.

/is a girl


Anyone can purchase a BMW. Heck, you can get an $80,000 car for less than $10,000 slightly after it goes out of warranty.

Whether it runs is another matter.

It's much more low IQ than small penis.
 
2012-04-30 02:45:19 PM

HaywoodJablonski: If I wanted a 20-month erection, I'd hire a Chinese architect


There might not be much time to spare, with all the polling and campaigning and such.
 
2012-04-30 02:49:08 PM
The best way to find out if the rumor about bikers dick size is true is to follow a group into the mens room and check out the averages. You'd have to do it a couple of times, otherwise the sample size might not good enough. Bring a magnifying glass just in case.
 
2012-04-30 02:50:10 PM
At the end of the day he's still riding a BMW.

/and still a douchebag
 
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