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(Yahoo)   The state of Parenting 2012: Dear Abby, whenever my eight-year-old son loses a game, he takes his anger out by beating our dog. He'll be mad at me if I put him in therapy, so how do I convince my wife to get rid of the dog?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 345
    More: Dumbass, Abigail Van Buren, mental health professional, Christmas Gift, therapy, Kimberly, Jeanne Phillips, dogs, P.O. Box  
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19967 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2012 at 11:06 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-30 12:36:15 PM
I can't even begin to imagine how big a can of whoop-ass would have been opened up on me if I'd beaten a family pet for any reason, let alone because a sports team lost a game.
 
2012-04-30 12:37:14 PM
Hunter S. Thompson on parenting:

"Children are like TV sets. When they start acting weird, whack them across the head with a big rubber basketball shoe."
-Hunter S. Thompson
 
2012-04-30 12:37:40 PM

Carth: forteblast: Phototoxin: This was reddited first.

You say that like Farkers give a shiat about reddit.

of course they do, the links has to come from somewhere.


www.themovieblog.com

The links must flow.
 
2012-04-30 12:38:08 PM

Smeggy Smurf:
You used to be cool. WTF happened? Nobody really gives a shiat about skin color except the left. It seems to be the only thing that matters to them anymore. The rest of us care more about not being a commie pinko.


3.bp.blogspot.com

I dunno. maybe its just me. because I don't see what's funny here. funny how?
 
2012-04-30 12:38:19 PM

Worldwalker: I have to wonder where the kid learned this "get violently upset if a team loses a game" thing from. I don't think we'd have to look much further than his father. The odds are he's the one who acts like a team's loss is a good reason to behave like a total wanker, and his kid is just copying dad.


That's certainly possible, but there are also people who have conditions (could be just born with, or brain damage from an injury or a childhood illness, etc) that make it very difficult (and for extreme cases, like some serial killers, it might be almost impossible) for them to control their impulses. It's like OCD on steroids, and an 8 year old is no match against against his own, out of control brain without professional help.
 
2012-04-30 12:38:35 PM

Worldwalker: I have to wonder where the kid learned this "get violently upset if a team loses a game" thing from. I don't think we'd have to look much further than his father. The odds are he's the one who acts like a team's loss is a good reason to behave like a total wanker, and his kid is just copying dad.


Blame the dad?
www.wearysloth.com
"If there's something wrong with the biatch, there's something wrong with the pup."
 
2012-04-30 12:39:38 PM
I'm reviewing a Jaques Pepin bit on doing french style scrambled eggs, and I think he mentioned the solution.

Make sure it's well beaten.

/I might need a better pan.
 
2012-04-30 12:43:01 PM
The letter may be fake, but at least Abby is letting other parents know that harming an animal is a sign that you kid needs therapy immediately. That could be helpful for parents who are not sure how serious it is.
 
2012-04-30 12:45:20 PM
Believe it or not, children understand cause and effect just like adults. They will do as they please unless motivated otherwise. You know that these parents are not disciplining the child when he harms the dog. At the very least, I would disallow the kid from playing sports after hurting the dog.
 
2012-04-30 12:46:40 PM
Get the kid to root only for teams that lose in all sports, make sure he is on the losing side in every game, and never allow him to get what he wants under any circumstances. He'll calm down once he's worn himself out.
 
2012-04-30 12:48:01 PM

gerrychampoux: Believe it or not, children understand cause and effect just like adults. They will do as they please unless motivated otherwise. You know that these parents are not disciplining the child when he harms the dog. At the very least, I would disallow the kid from playing sports after hurting the dog.


And this would probably ramp up little Cleveland Jr's violence against Patches.
 
2012-04-30 12:48:03 PM
Two things:

1) Give the dog to someone that will love it and care properly for it before your kid kills it.

2) Put your kid in therapy.
 
2012-04-30 12:48:24 PM
Beat him till he's brain damaged.
 
2012-04-30 12:48:42 PM
Shoot the little bastad
 
2012-04-30 12:49:04 PM

Johnnyflash: WTF is wrong with people?


A lot.
 
2012-04-30 12:51:28 PM

LeroyBourne: KatjaMouse: There are people way too stupid and "cool" to be parents. Even several weeks ago Dan Savage had some horrifying call about how he walked in on his 6 year old and her friend experimenting by shoving toys up their vaginas and his wife's reaction? Tell the kids it's ok as long as the toy is clean while his was more of a DADT policy. Savage and his resident expert on child behavior both screamed in terror and WTFness in reaction to that call.

He takes calls? I only read his column. Is this just his pod cast, or is he on the radio now?


This was in regard to the podcast, yes.
 
2012-04-30 12:54:45 PM

Headso: My first reaction is to say get rid of the dog then kill your whole family and then yourself but it is monday...


Allen. The end.: Kill your family, then yourself. Let the dog live.


1 second off from being the scariest simulpost ever...
 
2012-04-30 12:55:14 PM
The story about the cat lady soliciting donations for her dying cat is prime stuff. I know a lot of people with that mentality.
 
2012-04-30 12:55:43 PM
Brilliant, I say, that he's teaching his kid to react that way to a fake sport on TV.

/From you, Dad,
//I learned it from YOU
 
2012-04-30 12:55:56 PM
What, Fark doesn't know that there is a club in Harvard whose sole mission is to get weird letters printed in Dear Abby?
 
2012-04-30 12:57:28 PM
Put the dog up for adoption and take the kid to the vet to be put down
 
2012-04-30 12:59:30 PM

Void_Beavis: My wife and I have been trying unsuccessfully for 12 years to have children. Stupid religious conviction prevented us from getting the help of a fertility clinic until recently. Adoption has its own issues but it's not completely out of the question - not something we want to take lightly.

I see things like this and I want to ask where the justice is in this cruel world? How can parents like this be allowed to have children?


Welcome to the first step on the path to atheism. There's only justice if you make it happen, not because some imaginary friend wills it into existence.
 
2012-04-30 12:59:50 PM

Fano: "If there's something wrong with the biatch, there's something wrong with the pup."


I remember wanting to reach through the movie screen and choke that biatch.
 
2012-04-30 12:59:55 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Weaver95: Smeggy Smurf: Weaver95: dosboot: Weaver95: Smeggy Smurf: Have the President over for dinner. I hear he likes dog. Problem solved.

you were beaten often as a child, weren't you?


Tough luck Weaver95, it's an Obama eat dog world.

well...no offense, but most GOP shills on fark don't seem very sane. it's almost like they were toilet trained at gunpoint or something.

You're sadly mistaken if you think I'm a Republitard. That party left me long ago.

so you're just a racist then?

You used to be cool. WTF happened? Nobody really gives a shiat about skin color except the left. It seems to be the only thing that matters to them anymore. The rest of us care more about not being a commie pinko.


Pink is a color. Way to undermine your whole argument!

And how does anything you've said relate to the thread? Stay on topic.
 
2012-04-30 01:00:10 PM
At ten years old, I fear that the only kind of therapy that will work on the kid is a lobotomy. Plus, it comes Joe Kennedy approved.
 
2012-04-30 01:01:35 PM

HopScotchNSoda: At ten years old, I fear that the only kind of therapy that will work on the kid is a lobotomy. Plus, it comes Joe Kennedy approved.


Thank gott that the article says that he's 8.
 
2012-04-30 01:05:01 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

The kid
 
2012-04-30 01:05:12 PM

The_Sponge: Weaver95: so you're just a racist then?


What's with you white knighting Obama all the time? The whole dog eating thing was just a joke, and I highly doubt it was mentioned in this thread with racist intent. I have 99 reasons not to like Obama, but eating a biatch ain't one.


Leftists are required to have their sense of humor surgically removed, mostly to keep the feminist movement company.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY. I'M GOING TO SUE.

/it's funny because it's so true
 
2012-04-30 01:05:25 PM
Dear GOOD DAD IN CLEVELAND,

Step 1. Report your child as missing...
 
2012-04-30 01:06:04 PM

pxlboy: The_Sponge: Answer: Get rid of your psycho son, especially since it's quite obvious that your dog is better behaved.

Seriously. It's sad when a dog is the better person.


It's sad all the time?

/Dogs, with rare exceptions, are better than people, you see.
//Put a bullet in the kid's brain. It's all over but for the lethal injection.
 
2012-04-30 01:06:36 PM
By making a stew of him and feeding him to mom and son. Then tell them you couldn't think of a better way for the dog to have passed.
 
2012-04-30 01:07:25 PM

Fano: Blame the dad?


I'm blaming the dad because he said he watches sports with his son, and the undesirable behavior (abusing the dog) happens after a loss -- from the context of the letter, apparently a loss by whatever professional sports team he was rooting for. It stands to reason that it's the fellow-sports-watching father that he's modeling his behavior after.

And yes, it's also possible that this kid is just broken in some way, and his father's behavior has nothing to do with it. Given the father's statements in the letter -- particularly about why he doesn't send his son to counseling -- that seems far less likely than that the father is not a competent father.

Or, yeah, it's a troll. But if it is, it's not because it's so impossible; there are a disturbing number of people like that out there. Ask anyone who works in animal rescue.
 
2012-04-30 01:08:12 PM

Carth: Get rid of the kid. Give the dog a steak.

[dailypicksandflicks.com image 600x896]


nightmare fuel
 
2012-04-30 01:08:19 PM

Tatterdemalian: The_Sponge: Weaver95: so you're just a racist then?


What's with you white knighting Obama all the time? The whole dog eating thing was just a joke, and I highly doubt it was mentioned in this thread with racist intent. I have 99 reasons not to like Obama, but eating a biatch ain't one.

Leftists are required to have their sense of humor surgically removed, mostly to keep the feminist movement company.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY. I'M GOING TO SUE.

/it's funny because it's so true


so if you aren't with the republicans then you are automatically 'a leftist'?

interesting. psychotic...but interesting.
 
2012-04-30 01:11:03 PM

The_Sponge: Cool story bro:

On my eighth birthday my father brought me a bulldog, a fat, little bulldog. I named him Prince Henry Stout. He was strong. He would've chased my pet turkey; he would've chased a squirrel up the tree. I raised him, I trained him, I fed him, I grew him, I took care of him, I loved that dog. I loved that dog more anything in the world I loved that dog. My father gave me a handful of cherry bombs and M-80s and said: "You're gonna train this dog to be a protector". So every Saturday afternoon I got behind a little dummy that my dad built and tossed cherry bombs and M-80s at the dog - Boom! Boom! The dog was scared at first but after awhile he got on the dummy. He got the dummy ripping apart. The head was off. Shirt was gone.

So thirteen years old birthday time got me a twelve gauge shotgun. We're going hunting. I was so excited. We went out to the clearing in the woods, my dad laid his gun down, took my gun and laid it down and said: "Son, today you're gonna learn to control your emotions. You're gonna do things that some men are not able and unwilling to do. Follow me". I followed my dad, we were running this clap of trees, there was a corral built and there was Prince Henry Stout chained in the middle of the corral. My dad took out of pocket full cherry bombs, put them in my hand and said: "Get in the corral, here's a lighter; I want you to light those cherry bombs and throw them at the Prince. You're gonna face manhood. You're gonna fight that dog to the death. Is he gonna kill you or you're gonna kill him. Now."

*BOOM!*

He was on me. He was on me like flies on shiat. I had no chance. I got my arm up in between his teeth on my neck. Wop! We're down in the mud, rolled over, rolled over, the dog is fighting, biting, scratching, kicking and I'm screaming, crying, grabbing to run to get a stand up with following with my elbow on him. Here's his neck break. He's dead. He's not breathing, he's not biting. I'm covered up with blood. I stand up, wipe the ...


spentmiles-like typing detected.

\no, that is NOT a compliment
 
2012-04-30 01:11:40 PM

silverjets: Two things:

1) Beat the kid like a redheaded stepchild
2) If the kid hurts the dog again, repeat step one, and so on and son.


FTFY
 
2012-04-30 01:13:13 PM
Dear Abby,

My son is a pathalogical liar. He tells people outlandish and nonsensical stories all the time in order to get a rise out of them, or perhaps just in desperate need for attention. Recently I have found that he has started to write these stories down and send them into syndicated advice columnists. My question is that should he stop this at once, or should he try to get hired on as writer for these advice gurus who use his obvious false stories to drive their readership.

Thanks,

My son really needs a job in Cleveland
 
2012-04-30 01:14:15 PM

scarmig: Good Dad in Cleveland. You and your wife are bad parents. The sooner you accept responsibility for *your* parenting, the sooner you can start changing the course of your child away from a life in prison.


That the father is a terrible parent is not in dispute, but I'm not quite willing to judge the wife on this one. The only information we have about her is that she's unwilling to get rid of a dog she has had since college, and that doesn't point very strongly at bad parenting on her part. One bad parent can severely undermine the efforts of a good one, and a good parent/bad parent scenario can turn out even worse than two bad parents.

That said, it is perhaps telling that even she has not insisted on therapy long before now. Perhaps the son is hitting her too? That happens sometimes, even though it sounds strange that an eight-year-old could do such a thing to an adult. Frankly, I wouldn't even be surprised to hear that it's on the rise.
 
2012-04-30 01:18:26 PM

Magorn: In all seriousness though, the last time I checked, hurting an animal is the first red flag for "future serial killer", but with clueless parents like this I wouldn't be suprised if the Dog ends up destoryed as a "dangerous animal" after he decides to stop taking this kid's crap.


Animal abuse and torture aren't the same thing - torture is indicative of serial killing tendencies, plain abuse just leads to plain ol' team-quarterback, wife-beating, hard-drinking, can't-hold-a-job schlub.
 
2012-04-30 01:18:50 PM
Obviously the kid sucks at sports, time to enroll him in ballet.
 
2012-04-30 01:22:39 PM
Interesting number of people who are advocating harming an 8 year old because he harmed a dog.

IronicTag.jpg
 
2012-04-30 01:23:50 PM
Dear dad, grab a .45, load it, put it to your temple and pull the trigger. Your kid will be better off.

PS - congrats on raising a sociopath and future serial killer.
 
2012-04-30 01:24:12 PM

TsarTom: Get a new dog.

[www.cracked.com image 333x400]


WANT!!

Oh... and either she's getting too lazy to even moderately think out the questions she asks herself... or Abby just got awesomely trolled. No way this is real.
 
2012-04-30 01:24:23 PM
corporal punishment, how does it work?
 
2012-04-30 01:26:04 PM

EbolaNYC: Seriously, wtf is that thing between it's legs? Some kind of giant mutant dog-c@ck?

Why the F does it have hands instead of paws? That thing will grab you with it's freakish dog mitten, rape you with it's huge dog d!ck and then eat you and crap you out in a huge pile.. That poor fat lady will have to bury it in the backyard, again.


I can't stop laughing!
 
2012-04-30 01:27:18 PM
I have a beautiful wife, a dog and an 8-year-old son...

In that order...
 
2012-04-30 01:30:57 PM
Whatever sports team the family watches should show up en masse at the family's house, take their dog away and tell the family they don't want them as fans anymore.

Then they should all burn the child with curling irons and piss on the burns.
 
2012-04-30 01:31:14 PM
Here's a solution from the Lord your God:

18 If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21
 
2012-04-30 01:32:45 PM

CheekyMonkey: spentmiles-like typing detected.

\no, that is NOT a compliment



In all honesty, I was quoting the Gary Busey classic "Surviving the Game".
 
2012-04-30 01:35:37 PM

Weaver95: but interesting.



The really interesting thing is how you're always white knighting Obama.
 
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