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(Yahoo)   The state of Parenting 2012: Dear Abby, whenever my eight-year-old son loses a game, he takes his anger out by beating our dog. He'll be mad at me if I put him in therapy, so how do I convince my wife to get rid of the dog?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 345
    More: Dumbass, Abigail Van Buren, mental health professional, Christmas Gift, therapy, Kimberly, Jeanne Phillips, dogs, P.O. Box  
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19967 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2012 at 11:06 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-04-30 08:54:34 AM
Dear Anxious,

1. Borrow a big mean dog from somebody for a while. Next time the little monster's team loses a game, hopefully some half-rabid wolf-hybrid will take a bite out of his raised hand and fist. That will get your son the sensitivity training he desperately needs.

2. Put the kid up for adoption. You are out of your element.

3. You and your wife should sign up for some sort of painful electroshock therapy.
 
2012-04-30 08:57:19 AM
Crate the kid
 
2012-04-30 08:58:35 AM
You are not your kid's friend! You are their parent.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to talk about things and have a good time together, but it's your job to make sure they learn the skills they will need when they grow up.

Learning to handle your emotions of anger, disappointment, failure and hurt are all key skills. Learn them while you're young and you'll be set. There's no excuse for taking out your emotions on someone else.
 
2012-04-30 09:04:53 AM

mr_a: Dear Anxious,

1. Borrow a big mean dog from somebody for a while. Next time the little monster's team loses a game, hopefully some half-rabid wolf-hybrid will take a bite out of his raised hand and fist. That will get your son the sensitivity training he desperately needs.

2. Put the kid up for adoption. You are out of your element.

3. You and your wife should sign up for some sort of painful electroshock therapy.


Yeah, strangely enough Abby didn't mention a Vasectomy as part of her advice, the old girl must be slipping.


In all seriousness though, the last time I checked, hurting an animal is the first red flag for "future serial killer", but with clueless parents like this I wouldn't be suprised if the Dog ends up destoryed as a "dangerous animal" after he decides to stop taking this kid's crap.
 
2012-04-30 09:06:28 AM

Magorn: In all seriousness though, the last time I checked, hurting an animal is the first red flag for "future serial killer", but with clueless parents like this I wouldn't be suprised if the Dog ends up destoryed as a "dangerous animal" after he decides to stop taking this kid's crap.


Yes. Congratulations "Parents": you're raising a sociopath!
 
2012-04-30 09:07:59 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Magorn: In all seriousness though, the last time I checked, hurting an animal is the first red flag for "future serial killer", but with clueless parents like this I wouldn't be suprised if the Dog ends up destoryed as a "dangerous animal" after he decides to stop taking this kid's crap.

Yes. Congratulations "Parents": you're raising a sociopath!


Yeah, but he'll never forgive them if he has to go to counseling!

I wonder if he'll forgive them for farking up his future when he goes to jail for assaulting someone.
 
2012-04-30 09:19:57 AM
Yes, this is much worse than beating children to within an inch of their lives, the way real parents act.
 
2012-04-30 09:25:06 AM
Get a choke chain for the kid
 
2012-04-30 09:30:31 AM

GAT_00: Yes, this is much worse than beating children to within an inch of their lives, the way real parents act.


You know, Not to acuse you of straw-mannin' the argument there, Lou, but I think there might just maybe be a little bit of middle ground between ignoring your child's obvious mental and emotional issues and severely abusing them. Ya know, just maybe.
 
2012-04-30 09:32:04 AM
I took a lot of time training my dog to make sure she wouldn't bite my toddler. That was for the toddler's safety, but also because a dog that can't maintain its composure around kids may have to be put down.

However, when the kid got older, I paid close attention to her, and every time she accidentally hurt the dog by her carelessness (accidentally stepping on a paw when the dog was lying down, for instance), I stepped in immediately and made her apologize to the dog and pet it gently. Both the dog and the child need to respect each other.

To repeat what BurnShrike said, you're the kid's freaking parent. If you're not man enough to correct your kid when your kid misbehaves, you shouldn't have become a parent in the first place. Grow a spine, drop your balls and correct your kid when he does something wrong. THAT'S YOUR F*CKING JOB, and if you can't do it now, you're in for an entire lifetime of disappointment.
 
2012-04-30 09:35:29 AM
Retroactive abortion time, on the parents.
 
2012-04-30 09:40:27 AM
Put a shock collar on the kid and zap him every time he goes for the dog.
 
2012-04-30 09:53:40 AM
Dear "Good Dad",

By all means, get rid of the dog. It is obviously the dog who is responsible for your child's actions and removing the dog from the environment will alleviate the aggressive tendencies of your snowflake. You may wish to consider a cat. While dogs are generally considered to be the instigator in a child's inability to handle losing, cats are often found to contribute to that child's acceptance of not winning.

When the dog is removed from the home, your child should settle down nicely and will gratefully accept losing. Thus you will not need to fear gaining his respect in any way, shape or form that comes from actual parenting. You will avoid the awful consequences that come from using any service that might help curb is violent tendencies. You will gain valuable respect among other parents in refusing to admit that your are not a parenting expert and that, sometimes, you need help when little Johnny does not turn out to be Wallace Cleaver. Instead, write a letter to a long dead newspaper advice columnist in hopes to gain some small insight into child rearing.

PS. Please inform the local authorities that you are unable to find even the most rudimentary of parenting skills.
 
2012-04-30 09:56:45 AM
Get a new dog.

www.cracked.com
 
2012-04-30 10:00:07 AM

TsarTom: Get a new dog.

[www.cracked.com image 333x400]


Is that one of those fancy designer mixed breeds? The chow/Yeti?
 
2012-04-30 10:05:42 AM

TsarTom: Get a new dog.

[www.cracked.com image 333x400]


Da fark is that? and how do I get it out of my furture nightmares?
 
2012-04-30 10:18:12 AM
I'm very glad the "get a bigger dog" angle has already been covered.
 
2012-04-30 10:21:48 AM
Teach him to empathize with the dog's pain by smacking him in the mouth whenever he does it.
 
2012-04-30 10:24:28 AM
Reading the headline, I thought subby HAD to have made that up. Reading the article, I see that Abby made it up instead.

/Just too farkin' ridiculous
 
2012-04-30 10:30:57 AM

Diogenes: TsarTom: Get a new dog.

[www.cracked.com image 333x400]

Is that one of those fancy designer mixed breeds? The chow/Yeti?


Caucasian mastiff. They're no good for apartment living I'm told.
 
2012-04-30 10:42:59 AM
The answer is, of course, crap out another kid.
 
2012-04-30 10:53:51 AM

GAT_00: Yes, this is much worse than beating children to within an inch of their lives, the way real parents act.


Wha? Where did that come from?

I'm sorry about your parents.
 
2012-04-30 10:55:33 AM

TsarTom: Diogenes: TsarTom: Get a new dog.

[www.cracked.com image 333x400]

Is that one of those fancy designer mixed breeds? The chow/Yeti?

Caucasian mastiff. They're no good for apartment living I'm told.


Holy hell, I thought the Great Pyrenees was a big dog, but this guy makes him look like a purse dog:
puppyer.com

are we sure this is an actual dog breed and not the offspring of that flying thing from the Neverending Story?
 
2012-04-30 10:58:00 AM

Calmamity: GAT_00: Yes, this is much worse than beating children to within an inch of their lives, the way real parents act.

Wha? Where did that come from?

I'm sorry about your parents.


No, they didn't. I think I got spanked like a half dozen times, but it wasn't like I was a bad kid. But it's how I'm told you're supposed to properly treat kids.
 
2012-04-30 11:09:19 AM
My first reaction is to say get rid of the dog then kill your whole family and then yourself but it is monday...
 
2012-04-30 11:09:20 AM
Kill your family, then yourself. Let the dog live.
 
2012-04-30 11:09:28 AM

2wolves: Retroactive abortion time, on the parents.

 
2012-04-30 11:10:36 AM

2wolves: Retroactive abortion time, on the parents.

 
2012-04-30 11:10:39 AM
[Insert_gaston_wtf_am_i_reading.jpg]
 
2012-04-30 11:11:43 AM

mr_a: Dear Anxious,

1. Borrow a big mean dog from somebody for a while. Next time the little monster's team loses a game, hopefully some half-rabid wolf-hybrid will take a bite out of his raised hand and fist. That will get your son the sensitivity training he desperately needs.

2. Put the kid up for adoption. You are out of your element.

3. You and your wife should sign up for some sort of painful electroshock therapy.


/thread
 
2012-04-30 11:11:58 AM

Beaver1224: Reading the headline, I thought subby HAD to have made that up. Reading the article, I see that Abby made it up instead.

/Just too farkin' ridiculous


Agreed....shenanigans for sure. Patches?? Give me a break...
 
2012-04-30 11:11:59 AM

Dead for Tax Reasons: Get a choke chain for the kid


I'm OK with this and the Chow-Yeti hybrid above.
 
2012-04-30 11:12:30 AM

Beaver1224: Reading the headline, I thought subby HAD to have made that up. Reading the article, I see that Abby made it up instead. /Just too farkin' ridiculous


Agreed. I have a nine-year-old boy who hangs with dozens of other 8-10 year olds. None of them ever came close to this kind of behavior.

/I never thought to troll Dear Abby!
 
2012-04-30 11:14:31 AM
FTFA: GOOD DAD IN CLEVELAND

www.motifake.com
 
2012-04-30 11:14:42 AM
This "letter" smacks of a Dear Abbey Troll. Either someone is trolling her, or she's trolling us. It just sounds made-up.
 
2012-04-30 11:14:48 AM
www.polkaudio.com
 
2012-04-30 11:15:50 AM
teach the dog to play sports. then, when the dog loses, it can now take it out on the kid.

then grow some balls, and remember, i am not my children's friend, i am their parent.
 
2012-04-30 11:15:53 AM

Magorn: mr_a: Dear Anxious,

1. Borrow a big mean dog from somebody for a while. Next time the little monster's team loses a game, hopefully some half-rabid wolf-hybrid will take a bite out of his raised hand and fist. That will get your son the sensitivity training he desperately needs.

2. Put the kid up for adoption. You are out of your element.

3. You and your wife should sign up for some sort of painful electroshock therapy.

Yeah, strangely enough Abby didn't mention a Vasectomy as part of her advice, the old girl must be slipping.


In all seriousness though, the last time I checked, hurting an animal is the first red flag for "future serial killer", but with clueless parents like this I wouldn't be suprised if the Dog ends up destoryed as a "dangerous animal" after he decides to stop taking this kid's crap.


That's how Dahmer started....
 
2012-04-30 11:16:16 AM

mr_a: 2. Put the kid up for adoption. You are out of your element.


Pretty much this.
 
2012-04-30 11:16:27 AM
Get a new dog:

memeorama.com
 
2012-04-30 11:16:57 AM
Beat the child with a padded bag of oranges the next time he touches the dog.
 
2012-04-30 11:17:48 AM

Beaver1224: Reading the headline, I thought subby HAD to have made that up. Reading the article, I see that Abby made it up instead.

/Just too farkin' ridiculous


Dunno, if she'd made it up, she probably would have been quite a bit more vicious, since imaginary people can't file lawsuits.
 
2012-04-30 11:17:49 AM
I would so have to shoot that child's soccer shoes.
 
2012-04-30 11:18:18 AM
Beat. The. Child.
 
2012-04-30 11:18:34 AM
Answer: Get rid of your psycho son, especially since it's quite obvious that your dog is better behaved.
 
2012-04-30 11:19:13 AM

Magorn: TsarTom: Diogenes: TsarTom: Get a new dog.

[www.cracked.com image 333x400]

Is that one of those fancy designer mixed breeds? The chow/Yeti?

Caucasian mastiff. They're no good for apartment living I'm told.

Holy hell, I thought the Great Pyrenees was a big dog, but this guy makes him look like a purse dog:
[puppyer.com image 271x320]

are we sure this is an actual dog breed and not the offspring of that flying thing from the Neverending Story?


My dad has SEVEN Great Pyrenees on his farm. He says it's to keep coyotes away, but I secretly think he's going to feed my sister in laws to them.
 
2012-04-30 11:19:40 AM

The_Sponge: Answer: Get rid of your psycho son, especially since it's quite obvious that your dog is better behaved.


Seriously. It's sad when a dog is the better person.
 
2012-04-30 11:19:53 AM

scubamage: [www.polkaudio.com image 640x271]


Damnation! That was funny as hell!
+1
 
2012-04-30 11:20:10 AM
Dear GOOD DAD IN CLEVELAND: Have a chat with Jeffrey Dahmer's father. He'll be able to give you some insights into your son's future.
 
2012-04-30 11:20:34 AM
Maybe that boy should meet that cat that's dying in the last "dear abby." Looks like Wookie could use some help??
 
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