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(Fark)   Submitter has been a Fark liter for 10 years. Why should he upgrade?   (fark.com) divider line 398
    More: Advice  
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3753 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2012 at 11:59 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



398 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-04-30 12:12:42 PM  

Friskya:
I hope they at least checked out the claim that subby has been a liter for the last 10 years.


Indeed, it's true!

/subby
 
2012-04-30 12:12:46 PM  
Ass parties with Shostie.
 
2012-04-30 12:12:48 PM  

Slaxl: The little banner that says Totalfark instantly makes your opinion worth more than standard liters.

If you don't believe me watch this get greened as an advert to get people to give TF a go, and watch the liters call us TFers elitist and arrogant self-righteous pricks who think spending $5 makes them somehow superior... then watch those same people be unable to afford $5 a month... yeah I am superior because I can blow $5 a month. That makes us all awesome and we know it, so don't even pretend you don't know.


You're superior because you blow for $5? I heard your mom charges at least twice that.
 
2012-04-30 12:12:50 PM  
Don't be tempted by the $5.00/ month darkside. We can be abused for free as a non-donator to the Curtis-Beer-Fund. Pay $5.00 and all you are doing is reading articles you could see on any Internet news outlet.... AND paying money to be abused by TF'rs
 
2012-04-30 12:13:24 PM  
If the ones that get green lit are hit or miss I can only imagine the stupid behind the password wall. No thanks.
 
2012-04-30 12:13:28 PM  

junkmetal: Because you are a little biatch and we need to mock you. Out yourself and I'll sponsor you.


I'm the subby.
 
2012-04-30 12:13:48 PM  

RibbyK: I'm the subby.


CSB
 
2012-04-30 12:13:58 PM  
I've been around Fark for a while, had a couple of green lights and really want to be a Total Fark. However, you only accept PayPal, and I don't have a clue how it works, yep I'm old.
Wish you took credit cards, I'd sign up in a New York minute.
 
2012-04-30 12:13:58 PM  

D_Evans45: TotalFark is 2000+ misspelled/shiatty links, and TotalFark discussion. Total Fark Discussion, or TFD, is a small forum where TFers contribute nonsense threads, advice threads like this, attention whore threads, worthless waste of time threads, etc. TFD is like AOL Teen Chat if the teenagers read the news. Last time I was TFing the whole month they had a strange obsession with posting "taco" threads. Nonsense threads where a bunch of bored TFers sit around typing gibberish to each other, I am not making this up. I truly mean nonsense threads that wouldnt seem out of place for a bunch of 15 year old kids in high school.TotalFarkers are paying $60 a year for this AOL Teen Chat and 2000+ shiatty links.

The only reason I would say TotalFark might be worth $5, is if you REALLY don't have a life. If you are bored all the time, don't mind wading through gibberish threads, and like to ask for advice a lot and receive immediate responses. It is also easy to troll there. A Fark liter gets everything else.

/TF for at least half a year


And they're all ugly and fat.
 
2012-04-30 12:14:41 PM  

antidisestablishmentarianism: Because it's more entertaining than your XBox Live Gold subscription.


Blasphemy
 
2012-04-30 12:15:25 PM  
That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices,
Never stops, lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair, it gets rid of embarrassing age spots,
It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been at large
under the chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master,
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only 5 dollar, step right up, it's only 5 dollar, step right up
 
2012-04-30 12:15:26 PM  
Stimulate the economy?
 
2012-04-30 12:15:43 PM  
My wife is a TFer. I've sponsored others and yet never had one myself.

/weird, right?
 
2012-04-30 12:17:07 PM  
Doesn't this question get asked every day, and the TFers say garbage like, "If you have to ask, then GTFO?"
 
2012-04-30 12:17:35 PM  
because you want to do less at work

and you love circle jerks
 
2012-04-30 12:17:55 PM  
Don't. I upgraded about 5 years ago and all you get to see are all of the crap submissions that don't make it green and everyone making fun of them. That and every breaking story has 50 submissions that the modmins pick the crappiest headline submission for.
 
2012-04-30 12:18:12 PM  
I was, but it really wasn't worth it to me.
 
2012-04-30 12:19:08 PM  
TF means your Farktography submissions get to go in at 8pm Wednesday instead of midnight. So it's got that going for it, which is nice.
 
2012-04-30 12:19:17 PM  
MadMattressMack: Don't. I upgraded about 5 years ago and all you get to see are all of the crap submissions that don't make it green and everyone making fun of them. That and every breaking story has 50 submissions that the modmins pick the crappiest headline submission for.
 
2012-04-30 12:19:55 PM  
I have been a liter longer than subby, and have never even posed this question to myself.

/bow before the king of the liters.
 
jtr
2012-04-30 12:20:16 PM  
You most like go from Fark liter to fart lighter
 
2012-04-30 12:20:26 PM  

D_Evans45: TotalFark is 2000+ misspelled/shiatty links, and TotalFark discussion. Total Fark Discussion, or TFD, is a small forum where TFers contribute nonsense threads, advice threads like this, attention whore threads, worthless waste of time threads, etc. TFD is like AOL Teen Chat if the teenagers read the news. Last time I was TFing the whole month they had a strange obsession with posting "taco" threads. Nonsense threads where a bunch of bored TFers sit around typing gibberish to each other, I am not making this up. I truly mean nonsense threads that wouldnt seem out of place for a bunch of 15 year old kids in high school.TotalFarkers are paying $60 a year for this AOL Teen Chat and 2000+ shiatty links.

The only reason I would say TotalFark might be worth $5, is if you REALLY don't have a life. If you are bored all the time, don't mind wading through gibberish threads, and like to ask for advice a lot and receive immediate responses. It is also easy to troll there. A Fark liter gets everything else.

/TF for at least half a year


Yeah. This about sums it up. I got gifted 6 months of TF. It was fun and all, but really, the only good threads are on the main page. Also, if you want a deeper site with a more interactive community (orders of magnitude bigger than Fark), try Reddit. Its pretty much all the same links as Fark, but a day earlier, free, and more democratic. Fark these days is pretty much just a place for cracked to let people know they have articles up. Also, /r/gonewild pretty runs circles around BIE from Fark any day of the week.
I still cruise the main page for snarky headlines, but as far as online communities.. meh.
 
2012-04-30 12:20:43 PM  
I remember something about an owl.
 
2012-04-30 12:21:04 PM  
I was gonna sign up for TF yesterday, but I was too lazy to make a PayPal account, especially with my phone.
 
2012-04-30 12:21:23 PM  
Total Farkers rely on the A,B,C joke heavily and somehow they started letting jokes that skip directly to C get green lit.

Bad Farker, bad.
 
2012-04-30 12:21:24 PM  
If spending five bucks can give you a life, go for it.
 
2012-04-30 12:21:49 PM  

Rixel: That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices,
Never stops, lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair, it gets rid of embarrassing age spots,
It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been at large
under the chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master,
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only 5 dollar, step right up, it's only 5 dollar, step right up


But will it turn you into a 9-year-old Hindu boy?
 
2012-04-30 12:22:17 PM  
I was sponsored by a TFer once. The sponsor died shortly thereafter. COINCIDENCE?

/yes.
//uncool story, bro
 
2012-04-30 12:22:29 PM  
TF'ers transcend time. Caturday typically starts 8 or 9pm Friday night. I'm not cool enough to transcend time.
 
2012-04-30 12:22:43 PM  

alizeran: I have been a liter longer than subby, and have never even posed this question to myself.

/bow before the king of the liters.


so, you're a kiloliter?
 
2012-04-30 12:22:47 PM  
Because he is an idiot who likes to throw away money instead of spending it wisely on alcohol?
 
2012-04-30 12:22:52 PM  

Slaxl: The little banner that says Totalfark instantly makes your opinion worth more than standard liters.

If you don't believe me watch this get greened as an advert to get people to give TF a go, and watch the liters call us TFers elitist and arrogant self-righteous pricks who think spending $5 makes them somehow superior... then watch those same people be unable to afford $5 a month... yeah I am superior because I can blow $5 a month. That makes us all awesome and we know it, so don't even pretend you don't know.


If one couldn't afford $5/mo one should kill oneself or find something more valuable to do with one's time until one could afford $5/mo. That said, this doesn't necessarily follow that spending that $5 is still worth what you're getting (feel free to make your case if you feel this way TFers :) ).
 
2012-04-30 12:23:49 PM  

Grables'Daughter: First of all, no one on TF wears pants.


and that is why all y'all TF'ers should want me in your ranks.

/yes, you will like.
 
2012-04-30 12:24:23 PM  
No one cares what I think, but, what would get $5/m out of me (and possibly others)?

Make the TF interface more informational than the non-TF -- in addition to the comment-count number:

1) Add columns with counts of Funny / Smart votes in the thread
(But, Step 0, change the stupid Funny / Smart to something more Fark-y -- LOL / THIS! / DUMBASS/TROLL, perhaps.)

2) Add a column with a count of posts by Farkers the user has favorited

3) Add a column with a count of posts by Farkers the user has ignored

That way, a TFer with just a few minutes to spare could quickly scan the headline page and figure out whether a 100-200 post thread would be informative, funny, threadshiatted, or whatever, and not have to wade around in threads looking for a bit of entertainment.

The information is all there in the Fark dbs... make use of it! Make TF actually add value (aside from the little banner and TFD, which may or may not be seen as valuable, depending on one's perspective), and I'd sign up.

/ 'course, if ya' implement the idea, you might also thank me with a perma-sponsor, but whatever
 
2012-04-30 12:25:19 PM  

Slaxl: watch the liters call us TFers elitist and arrogant self-righteous pricks who think spending $5 makes them somehow superior.


It doesn't?
 
2012-04-30 12:25:34 PM  

junkmetal: Because you are a little biatch and we need to mock you. Out yourself and I'll sponsor you.


Feel free to mock.
In fact, I was lurking for a while prior to registering. Someone made a humorous comment that required a response... and Fark has been my home page ever since.

/subby, and thrilled they approved this link!
 
2012-04-30 12:27:24 PM  

Slaxl: If you don't believe me watch this get greened as an advert to get people to give TF a go, and watch the liters call us TFers elitist and arrogant self-righteous pricks who think spending $5 makes them somehow superior... then watch those same people be unable to afford $5 a month...


Five posts in, validated within minutes of going main.
 
2012-04-30 12:27:34 PM  
I'd love to TF but for some reason can't get it to work. :/
 
2012-04-30 12:27:34 PM  

greentea1985: Honestly, it's nice to see links before they get greened and before they hit the main page. You can watch your own links a bit more obsessively and see some interesting articles that just did not hit the main page. Of course, this isn't always a great thing for your own productivity. The other nice thing is knowing that you are helping to support a website you love and get a few side perks for doing it. If you are on Fark all the time, why not shell out a bit of money to keep the website running?


This is pretty much why I got TF for six months. I wanted to see what goes on behind the curtain. I enjoy reading the links that don't go green, but it does take more of my time. Kicking in some scratch is a good thing for something I like. Heck, I even allow the advertisements here. I don't know if I'll renew my subscription but that's only because I haven't been able to read TF as much lately.
 
2012-04-30 12:28:42 PM  

alizeran: I have been a liter longer than subby, and have never even posed this question to myself.

/bow before the king of the liters.


Impressive, sir.
/bow
 
2012-04-30 12:30:00 PM  

SFSailor: No one cares what I think, but, what would get $5/m out of me (and possibly others)?

Make the TF interface more informational than the non-TF -- in addition to the comment-count number:

1) Add columns with counts of Funny / Smart votes in the thread
(But, Step 0, change the stupid Funny / Smart to something more Fark-y -- LOL / THIS! / DUMBASS/TROLL, perhaps.)

2) Add a column with a count of posts by Farkers the user has favorited

3) Add a column with a count of posts by Farkers the user has ignored

That way, a TFer with just a few minutes to spare could quickly scan the headline page and figure out whether a 100-200 post thread would be informative, funny, threadshiatted, or whatever, and not have to wade around in threads looking for a bit of entertainment.

The information is all there in the Fark dbs... make use of it! Make TF actually add value (aside from the little banner and TFD, which may or may not be seen as valuable, depending on one's perspective), and I'd sign up.

/ 'course, if ya' implement the idea, you might also thank me with a perma-sponsor, but whatever


That may well be the most logical, helpful, insightful suggestions we'll read all week.
/So Drew will ignore it.
//And you'll be banned (along with me). Logic not welcome in these 'ere parts.
 
2012-04-30 12:31:27 PM  

Silly Jesus: It's the only way to get your headlines green-lighted.


hmmm... 44 green-lights for me so far, and most of them did come during my TF days...

/I was thinking that had more to do with me knowing what kind of crap gets submitted on an hourly basis :)
 
2012-04-30 12:31:57 PM  

NeedlesslyCanadian: Slaxl: If you don't believe me watch this get greened as an advert to get people to give TF a go, and watch the liters call us TFers elitist and arrogant self-righteous pricks who think spending $5 makes them somehow superior... then watch those same people be unable to afford $5 a month...

Five posts in, validated within minutes of going main.



The amount of people alive in this thread who are too poor to accumulate $5 in a month for TF is probably slim to none. The amount of people who would rather spend $5 on something useful than TF, like a meal that will be soon excreted, outweighs it too much.
 
2012-04-30 12:32:53 PM  
if you give money to a site so you can read material that isn't good enough for the main site you are "special"

some people are naturally "special", others have to pay $5 month to be "special".
 
2012-04-30 12:35:07 PM  
I was sponsored for total Fark once for a month. It was the best month of my life. Everything I said was a little funnier. My banter with my co-workers was a little snappier. My wife swears that my johnson was a little bigger as well :D

For the first time in my life I knew what it was like to be "in", to be "cool", to have "friends", and not suffer from "chronic pelvic itching".

When my month ended, I came crashing back to Earth immediately. One moment I was foxtrotting in the penthouse, the next I was slamming ass first into the dirt holding a chipped champagne glass in one hand and wiping my tears with the other.

Now I just get by. Some days are better than others but....you know...I never really get over it. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it or compare whatever crappy plans I have to do for the day with the whirlwind of mirth and machismo that met me and my totalfark tag during the "golden month".

If you can spend the five bucks, do it. Do it for you. Do it for your children. Do it for America! Put life in a headlock and cram your totalfark tag down its god damn throat! Show the world who's boss by being the boss! And while you sip absinthe on your thrown made of the twisted corpses of liters that you've destroyed with your wit, think of me my friend. Despise me just a little less than the others.
 
2012-04-30 12:35:22 PM  
Because it's a gateway drug.
 
2012-04-30 12:39:01 PM  
When I was apathetic about my job, TF was a great time waster. The threads were better without all of the trolling you get on the main pages. More conversation overall and less debate. You got to see more of people's personalities and the random conversational threads were more useful and entertaining.

With a job I like and two kids, I just don't have the time.
 
2012-04-30 12:39:04 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: if you give money to a site so you can read material that isn't good enough for the main site you are "special"

some people are naturally "special", others have to pay $5 month to be "special".


Meh, $5 for a month of silly/strange entertainment I can access anywhere or $20 for a 2 hour movie I have to travel to a theatre to see?
 
2012-04-30 12:39:06 PM  
Yeah but don't they only greenlight articles posted by TFarkers?
 
2012-04-30 12:40:29 PM  
after i became a TF'er, my sex life picked up. not kidding either. i don't think my exclusive membership had anything to do with it though. none of my dates were with farkers. it must of been a coincidence. or do women, upon seeing me or my dating profile, say wow, i want that man in my vagina?
 
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