Stop co-opting ideas like "discrimination," "free speech," and "free religion" to mean that you can do as you please and get whatever you want. These ideas have particular meanings; they are not cart blanch excuses to not do your job or pretend you are eye candy when even the brothers have to take a pass.

Also, you cannot sue yourself to better health. Skip the lawyer and spend your money on a nutritionist and trainer instead.

Look, night clubs hire waitresses and bartenders based on attractiveness and personality. Staff that makes people want to come in are hired, staff that make you feel like you've walked into a satellite office of the DMV are not.

Likewise, customers are sometimes invited to dance on a platform if their aesthetic matches that which the bar would like to communicate to their customers. Ugly people, fat people especially, don't meet that aesthetic- the aesthetic is young, fit and vibrant. Fat people aren't vibrant or healthy. They remind people of sloth and gluttony, not youth and vitality. So fat people, people with visible herpes sores, people with drawn faces that look like methheads are not put up on display. It's that simple.

You can't be ugly or fat and be put up on display by anyone, anywhere. You get a pink participant ribbon at life, not the first prize blue ribbon. However, you could put effort towards something else and win at that. But not at being young and attractive.

Things that will keep you from dancing on stage, on the bar, or being invited up for the wet t shirt competition:

Ugliness
Fatness
Visible Oldness (in some venues the threshold is 28 if you look it)
Unstylishness
Visible signs of poor health, sores, acne, dark circles, gauntness
Physical defect, deformity, or just not having your facial features and body parts in the right places and in the right shapes
Being a male
Being not visibly and indisputably female
Getting a stupid-looking haircut
Upper lip hair or eyebrows not maintained
Clothing choice too revealing or not revealing enough
Bar owner doesn't like redheads

goorange: Call us when your poor, skinny, democrat and on drugs,

when my poor skinny democrat and on drugs what?

Every single one of you guys in this thread is mean.

Accurate, but mean.

I have no issue with fatties. I have several friends who would be classified as such and it does not affect my friendship with them at all. People are people.

However, being a fattie restricts access to certain situations (it is not a personal thing), and you need to be cognizant enough to know when those situations are happening. Sorry, but as a 43-year old man myself, nobody wants to see my haggard ass up on a bar dancing and shaking my thickmeat buttocks to LMFAO. It's cool.

Why make such a stink? Because she is a Fattie with an Agenda™, one of the saddest spectacles in humanity. She probably has friends (like those in the photo) who feed into her sense of entitlement instead of telling her to "just blow it off".

Also, that photo is not a good one. She is not only fat, but homely. She looks sortof like an angry construction worker with a mullet. bad combo. Not sure that they'd let her up there even if she was slimmer.

Look tubby, the bar is in the entertainment business and the platform is for amateur entertainers. I think it's fair for the bar to want to create a certain aesthetic to keep the party hopping. They didn't refuse you service or throw you off the dance floor, they just didn't want your wide-load on stage.

Two things you should not be if you are going to dance on a stage in a bar:

1. Fat
2. Unattractive

She clearly falls under both 1 and 2 above.

I'm glad we can all sit around and hate on fat girls. There's nothing worse than a girl whose existence isn't justified by my finding her attractive.

Seriously, you guys are assholes. Some people are fat, and that sucks for them, but it doesn't make them lesser people.

I'm willing to bet she doesn't raise a stink about "ladies night" and getting cheaper drinks.

KrispyKritter: Zizzowop: What I don't understand is, if you're 'plus size' -whatever you want to call it, don't you try to NOT draw attention to that fact? Just seems odd from a white girl.

once in a while you will find a large person who is secure and confident. they feel good about themselves regardless of the herd mentality around them. even though they have heard the shiatty little comments people make and seen others glaring at them as if they aren't fit to draw breath they manage to hold their heads high. maybe they were blessed with good parents that taught them not to judge others lightly and to forgive those who do so to them. i can see where this would be a foreign concept to the average farker.

my wife is 6' tall and is very self-conscious of her size to the point where it inhibits her. she is a beautiful woman but she is unable to carry herself with the poise and grace of the statuesque queen that she is.

i'm even taller than her but i don't give a rat's ass what people think. i wear some clothing that is too far out for some people but it's to my liking. at my size there is no missing me so i'm not going to slink through life like a NYC Bohemian clad in black from head to toe.

Right on dude! I have no issues with plus size women, like Ice Cube says, in the book of life, there's only two women, big ole good ones and good ole big ones.

Lollipop165: Pretentious clubs suck.

Submitted First With a Better Headline: I'm glad we can all sit around and hate on fat girls. There's nothing worse than a girl whose existence isn't justified by my finding her attractive.

Seriously, you guys are assholes. Some people are fat, and that sucks for them, but it doesn't make them lesser people.

Yes, yes it does.

BurnShrike: friend

I don't think that means what you think it means.

Go ahead and send her a copy and paste of what you wrote. I don't think you'll have to worry about having her as a friend any more.

Be better off for her to know what kind of person you are, so she can move on and befriend people who aren't backstabbers.

Madbassist1: It makes you look stupid when you use words that you can't spell, even if you use them correctly.

No it doesn't. It makes me look like I have better things to do. You want to know the value of spell checking? $0. My phone does it for free, which is why it dropped the "e." I'm sure it'll make you wildly successful, though.

Newsflash: People at clubs can be shallow and cruel. Film at 11.

Oliver Twisted: FTFA: A social work professor at the University of Iowa told Ramos to return to the bar.

"She told my friends and I to go back and see if the same thing happens and to try to get them to say aloud 'I am not allowing you up because of your size,

She sounds fat like an HR rep in training..

/FTFM

Last time I looked, being fat is not a protected class. If the bar doesn't want your size 14 hooves breaking their dance floor, then they have every right to tell you not to use it.

Ten bucks says she's one of those annoying drunk girls who announces what she's drinking, "OMG! I'm drinking a Sex on the Beach!" constantly while playing "Baby Got Back" repeatedly on the jukebox because "OMG! This rap song is so funny!"

Much as I enjoy the mockery of this individual, where are the enlightened, free thinking and tolerant Farkers to chastise everyone here for their knuckle dragging ignorance and hateful bigotry towards those who are weight-challenged?

These type of comments would not be tolerated in a thread about the mentally ill, alternative sexual lifestyles, or transgendered albinos.

Glad we can still mock fatty with impunity. And vegans.

ChaoticLimbs: the bar would like to communicate to their customers. U

Any place that operates like this isn't around long. There's a dance club here in Chicago called The Neo, it's been around for over 30 years now. And they don't give a shiat. They just crank up good music night after night and young, old, skinny, fat, they don't give a damn. And it's a really awesome place.

Snakeophelia: Women over about 115 pounds

Jane Mansfield wishes to hit you over the head with a frying pan.

If im in a bar/club, and i see that thing dancing on a platform, ill would take my drinking to another bar.

I wonder if they had allowed her to get up and dance and then the crowd booed her. Would she sue the hecklers for discrimination?

In good news on the fat front, I've lost a hair under 10 pounds in the last two weeks, so now I am only 25 pounds overweight.

/People today are FAAAAAATTTTT!!!!! And not just in America; freakin' everywhere. Watch an early '80s teen comedy; the (completely normal, healthy) teenagers look like concentration-camp inmates compared to today's muffin-topped tubbies.

They should have let her on the platform.
After it collapsed, she could have claimed "It's just a stage I'm going through".

FTFA:
Ramos approached the Human Rights Commission in Iowa City, but the organization told her they could not do an investigation because size discrimination is not illegal by law, Ramos said.

imokwiththis.jpg

She didn't actually sue the bar, RTFA subby :)

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Farking cool fat chicks never have a difficult time getting laid, regardless of what guys on Fark will try to make you believe.

Fixed. Post on Craigslist and you're getting laid in 5 minutes. Don't matter if you're Rosie O'Donnell

goorange: oh_please: goorange: I understand that obese people are different and deserve to die, so we should shun and punish them.

Obvious troll, but I'll bite (no pun intended) anyway.

The issue isn't that she's fat. The issue is that she's a coont deliberately trying to sue a bar because she got offended, even when it seems the bouncer did his best to spare her feelings initially by telling her in a tactful way. Then she went back and deliberately tried to bait them into telling her something that she could sue over. Fark her, she's not some crusader for acceptance, she deserves to be shamed for being an AW.

Black people where so annoying when they kept going to resturants that clearly said whites only

So annoying when they used the courts to force white people to let them eat wherever they want

But fat people just need to die, they are so gross and awful, why can't they just be fat somewhere else

Kill your self

I keep reading your name as goo range.

It makes me giggle.

How has this not yet been posted????

keepitcherry: Actually you sound like a douche still stuck in that Us Vs. Them high school mentality.

If you think that's bad, you should read the rest of this thread.

WhiskeySticks: ChuDogg: She's lucky they didn't do what they did to my buddy. He apparently didn't know that only cute attractive ladies are allowed on the stage and tried to follow some girls he was dancing with. Next thing he knows somebody is pulling him down in a headlock and four guys are carrying him outside and throw him on the flat pavement of the parking lot

Me and a group of friends would do this back when we turned 21. Knowing that gutter punk/metal kids have no place among the big breasted, bronzed bimbo's of college bars, we would do it just to piss everyone off. It's amazing what makes a "bro" angry. Usually just before getting kicked out, we would flood the urinals. It was a glorious night when one of us figured out that if you push the flusher up at a 45 degree angle, the handle would stick and the water would continuously flow. Yes, we were shiatheads.

/CSB
//Don't call me bro, bro.

Wow you're punk as fark! Actually you sound like a douche still stuck in that Us Vs. Them high school mentality. Condolences.

Hey, on the very rare occasion it's a club kind of weekend, I want my table top dancers to be hot. I didn't get dressed up, pay a cover, and spend $8 on a beer to watch some whale on the bar feel good about herself. No one wants to see me in a speedo, so I don't subject tham to that. Couldn't she be equally as courteous?

BurnShrike: jst3p: I like you, but my "this never happened" sensor is going into overdrive.

I really, really wish I were making it up. It was one of the most ridiculous and sickening things I've ever seen.

I worked with a girl who weighed over 300 lbs. She was relatively young (mid-20s) and childless (in fact, a virgin....oh, she was super religious, too) so there was no reason for her to be so fat.

Most days, I brought my lunch from home, but every once in a while, I'd forget lunch, so I'd head over to Wendy's across the street. A typical lunch from Wendy's for me would have been some sort of salad (with sparse amounts of vinaigrette dressing) and an unsweetened iced tea (no artificial sweeteners, either).

On several occasions, my fattie co-worker would be there, too. The amounts of food she ate, and the amount of soda she drank, were mind-boggling. She'd have two burgers, a large order of french fries, and one of those gigantic, 44 ounce cups of soda...with no ice. Too much ice meant too little room for soda.

And did I mention she drank soda all day long at work? From 8AM to 5PM every day, she had a soda in her hand.

Here's the kicker: one day, Fattie remarked (with obvious frustration) that it was so hard to lose weight, and that her weight problem clearly had a genetic component. Her evidence that her weight issue was her genes' fault and not the fault of her eating habits: "You eat fast food just like I do, and you're not fat!"

I didn't have the fortitude to explain to her that I didn't eat fast food nearly as often as the does, and when I do, I made very different food choices...

I think she is really pretty and should be allowed to dance on the table. You guys are all idiots.

EWreckedSean: Just out of curiosity, if they didn't let a girl get up there and dance because she was black, would that be equally ok?

Just out of curiosity, can a black girl go on a diet to change the color of her skin?

/"Protected class"
//nope, don't see "fatass land whale hambeasts" on there

I'm sorry, but fark that fat biatch. It's not illegal and really, she needs a bit of public shaming because she's an unapologetic fatass. Is it embarrassing to be kicked off the stage like that? Sure it is. That stage is provided by the bar not so that you can promote yourself but for the BAR to promote itself. If you step on that stage, you are the volunteer entertainment and as anyone who has been on a stage knows, there is always the possibility of getting the hook.

So shut the hell up, fatty. You and your friends don't have a right to be special. You DO, however, have a right to not go to that bar ever again.

divgradcurl: BurnShrike: jst3p: I like you, but my "this never happened" sensor is going into overdrive.

I really, really wish I were making it up. It was one of the most ridiculous and sickening things I've ever seen.

it just doesn't make sense... i assume you wouldn't eat a third of the cake if they actually wanted to share, so even if they cut you a 1/8 piece, they would each get to enjoy 7/16 ths of a cake which is damn near half. so they aren't just gluttunous (sp?), they are greedy and rude as well. conclusion: find cooler people to spend time with

Oh, I know there are several issues indicated in the story. They're very nice people, but they definitely have their problems. After I tried to be a good friend and mentioned something about her over-eating and portion sizes, our friendship cooled off. She took the victim role very well and hasn't changed anything about her life, but that's her choice.

She met a very nice man at over-eater's anonymous and they make each other quite happy. They still eat just as much as they ever did, and if anything seem almost proud of how much food they can cram down.

Her father (the same size as the rest of the family) just recently died from a massive heart attack at age 53. I really hope it awakens her to the dangers of obesity, but somehow I doubt it.

that was my nickname in highschool: Madbassist1: It makes you look stupid when you use words that you can't spell, even if you use them correctly.

No it doesn't. It makes me look like I have better things to do. You want to know the value of spell checking? $0. My phone does it for free, which is why it dropped the "e." I'm sure it'll make you wildly successful, though.

These ideas have particular meanings; they are not cart blanch excuses to not do your job or pretend you are eye candy when even the brothers have to take a pass.

Dropping an "e" is not the only problem with "cart blanch".

You look even dumber now. Congrats!

BurnShrike: jst3p: I like you, but my "this never happened" sensor is going into overdrive.

I really, really wish I were making it up. It was one of the most ridiculous and sickening things I've ever seen.

it just doesn't make sense... i assume you wouldn't eat a third of the cake if they actually wanted to share, so even if they cut you a 1/8 piece, they would each get to enjoy 7/16 ths of a cake which is damn near half. so they aren't just gluttunous (sp?), they are greedy and rude as well. conclusion: find cooler people to spend time with

Queensowntalia:
BurnShrike: friend

I don't think that means what you think it means.

Go ahead and send her a copy and paste of what you wrote. I don't think you'll have to worry about having her as a friend any more.

True. A real friend might say "FRIEND'S_NAME, you are killing yourself doing this". Already-fat people over-eat because eating is soothing, and frankly their lives can be difficult. It's not a moral deficit, it's just the same mechanism that makes people do anything that soothes them, regardless of the health impact. Would a real friend let a friend become an alcoholic?

clipperbox:
WhippingBoy: I've been reading a lot of blogs that promote "fat acceptance"... Dissenting voices (no matter how respectful and/or rational) are not allowed under any circumstances.

a site like that sounds ripe for trolling.

Sites like that are terrible for trolling, one mis-step and you are banned4life. It's like Free Republic where if your comments don't fall exactly within the collective comfort range you will be denounced and then banned immediately. Example: a friend of mine tried to join a vegan website and she never made it past "hi guys, I'm a vegetarian who's trying to be more vegan" before she was insulted and denounced by the regulars, and told to GTFO.

Ah, fat threads. How FARK-ers make themselves feel better (since racism is no longer cool) since '99.

TheLopper: At least she's not calling herself "curvy". I hate how that word has been hijacked by the obese.

I'm still about 5lbs. overweight. I'm curvy. Fat is just fat (sometimes it is more fun...think cheescake, and always easier), but still fat.

I used to wear a shirt that said "I may be fat, but I can lose weight, and you'll still be ugly." Trying to convince yourself, doesn't convince anyone else.

BurnShrike: The easiest way to lose weight is to STOP EATING LIKE A FARKING HIPPO.

Seriously, you eat too much.

I was over at a (morbidly obese) friend's house, when her mom came home with some groceries. She pulled a full cake out from her bags and apologized that she hadn't bought enough for me to have some. She proceeded to slice the cake in half and took one for herself, and gave the other to my friend. They both then proceeded to shovel half a cake into their maws. I was stunned, and sickened.

Learn what a proper food portion is, and don't eat half a cake in one sitting, you fat cow.

/CSB

I like you, but my "this never happened" sensor is going into overdrive.

Andrew Wiggin: SweetSilverBlues: Yes, prolly a troll, but "to pretty"? Orly?

preach it sister.

Unless he meant "to blave", in which case I apologise.

At least she's not calling herself "curvy". I hate how that word has been hijacked by the obese.

The easiest way to lose weight is to STOP EATING LIKE A FARKING HIPPO.

Seriously, you eat too much.

I was over at a (morbidly obese) friend's house, when her mom came home with some groceries. She pulled a full cake out from her bags and apologized that she hadn't bought enough for me to have some. She proceeded to slice the cake in half and took one for herself, and gave the other to my friend. They both then proceeded to shovel half a cake into their maws. I was stunned, and sickened.

Learn what a proper food portion is, and don't eat half a cake in one sitting, you fat cow.

/CSB

Ah, Fark nothing like a nice dose of sexism and size-ism. I bet most of you aren't hittable man hunks anyhow. Hell I think the girl here and her friends look okay, I'd hit it.
People who are to thin and to pretty creepy me out.

WhiskeySticks: WhippingBoy: It's basically an organized cult-like movement to avoid taking any personal responsibility; unfortunately, because it's telling the obese what they want to hear (instead of what they need to hear), it's becoming more and more popular.


Jesus Christ people, It's not that hard to change...cut processed foods out of your diet, stop drinking soda and other sugary drinks. It's one simple step and you won't even break a sweat doing it.

Apparently it affects the ability to count to "two" though.

WhippingBoy: I've been reading a lot of blogs that promote "fat acceptance",

Stop reading that crap.

Next we'll have to listen to junkie acceptance and bigot acceptance and racists acceptance.
Then it will be Unvaccinated lepers with measels acceptance.

then it will be Drunks who want to drive acceptance.

There is no reasonable excuse to be obese.
The only excuse is you eat too goddamed much.
There are people starving in this country and you are a FOOD ABUSER
if you eat too much.

And reading that crap makes you an enabler.

These people should be made to eat only rice and beans, and water, and not be given any sugar.
It's a c r i m e.

Magorn: doubled99: Much as I enjoy the mockery of this individual, where are the enlightened, free thinking and tolerant Farkers to chastise everyone here for their knuckle dragging ignorance and hateful bigotry towards those who are weight-challenged?

These type of comments would not be tolerated in a thread about the mentally ill, alternative sexual lifestyles, or transgendered albinos.

Glad we can still mock fatty with impunity. And vegans.

S'alright it just leaves girls like this to use more enlightened types. I'm not ashamed to say I've hit girls this size and even bigger, and having done skinny, normal and plus-sized, I can say that the most "fun" I've had have been with the bigger gals. Many of them don't have the hang-ups about sex and their bodies that skinny girls do, and so when they let lose they are invariably the most inventive, enthusiastic and knky sex partners I've ever had.

If you want other men to envy you when you are out and about, hang a supermodel off your arm. If you want to have an epic time in the bedroom pick a smart girl who enjoys sex, and don't worry about her size.

Sounds like the typical excuse of somebody who can't attract a skinny/fit girl.

Just fit the platform with a pressure plate,if your too heavy the music stops.

Magorn: If you want other men to envy you when you are out and about, hang a supermodel off your arm. If you want to have an epic time in the bedroom pick a smart girl who enjoys sex, and don't worry about her size

if you want to have fun in a fark thread, 'MAKE FUN OF THE FATTIES THEY DON'T HAVE REAL FEELINGS ANYWAY'

I feel bad for her in one way, because that had to be humiliating and probably brought her insecurities regarding her size to the forefront of her mind. People who are overweight constantly criticize themselves and make themselves feel worse than any Farker could (Not that people piling on helps though).

On the same token, her situation is correctable. She's also young enough that for her, losing weight is a much easier task than someone 5-15 years older than her. I know it's harder for women to lose weight than men, but a young woman can still burn calories and fat like crazy. This is the optimal time for her to do this and get on the right path, before she ends up 35 and in an even deeper hole.

Plus she's fat and has small boobs. That's the worst kind of fatness.

bdub77: The bar probably has a policy about letting two people in at one time.

i said i wanted two chicks at once, not two chicks in one!

bhcompy: Whatthefark: Oliver Twisted: FTFA: A social work professor at the University of Iowa told Ramos to return to the bar.

"She told my friends and I to go back and see if the same thing happens and to try to get them to say aloud 'I am not allowing you up because of your size,

She sounds fat like an HR rep in training..

/FTFM

Last time I looked, being fat is not a protected class. If the bar doesn't want your size 14 hooves breaking their dance floor, then they have every right to tell you not to use it.

Ten bucks says she's one of those annoying drunk girls who announces what she's drinking, "OMG! I'm drinking a Sex on the Beach!" constantly while playing "Baby Got Back" repeatedly on the jukebox because "OMG! This rap song is so funny!"

Clearly you have no idea what a size 14 looks like, because you need to add 8-10 more for that girl.

Vanty sizing.

The U.S. used to be two sizes larger than other countries. Now it's probably 4-6, standard, and extra vanity stores is probably your 8-10+i

My girfriend wears a size 4-6 at trendy stores but can go down to 00 at some of the cheaper places like kohls or marshalls

She probably has a full wardrobe of sizes

Whatthefark: Oliver Twisted: FTFA: A social work professor at the University of Iowa told Ramos to return to the bar.

"She told my friends and I to go back and see if the same thing happens and to try to get them to say aloud 'I am not allowing you up because of your size,

She sounds fat like an HR rep in training..

/FTFM

Last time I looked, being fat is not a protected class. If the bar doesn't want your size 14 hooves breaking their dance floor, then they have every right to tell you not to use it.

Ten bucks says she's one of those annoying drunk girls who announces what she's drinking, "OMG! I'm drinking a Sex on the Beach!" constantly while playing "Baby Got Back" repeatedly on the jukebox because "OMG! This rap song is so funny!"

Clearly you have no idea what a size 14 looks like, because you need to add 8-10 more for that girl.

Whatthefark: If the bar doesn't want your size 14 hooves breaking their dance floor,

By the way, how's your girlfriend Rosie, and how are her five sisters?

Snakeophelia: "Better yet, watch a movie from the 40's or 50's"

Because, as we all know, movies are representative of the population and social norms.
And surely they would have been even *more* representative, if anything, during a more shamelessly patriarchal period.
Nothing inconvenient would ever get swept under the rug. No-one's juvenile fantasies would be repeated as fact or normalcy.

Clearly, this is an effective way to do armchair anthropology.

WTF is wrong with you people that the people in the background are labeled as fat, too. I'd hit every one of them.

/but not the girl in front... she's a fattie.

WhyteRaven74: Jane Mansfield wishes to hit you over the head with a frying pan.

That is Marilyn Monroe. That is Mamie Van Doren...I don't see Jayne Mansfield, she must have the night off or something.

Flyover country problems

PJ-: If im in a bar/club, and i see that thing dancing on a platform, ill would take my drinking to another bar send it drinks and watch in bemusement until it falls down.

Actually, if I were in a bar where people were dancing on tables and it was not Mardi Gras or New Years, I would probably go to another bar.

/get off my lawn.

What if she collapsed the stage. Seriously I'm not trying to be mean. She sue if she got hurt.

So... which part of "Right of admission reserved" doesn't she understand?

Always make me laugh when I see huge, fat people trying to cram themselves into normal activities like they have a god given right to do so, then complaining when the riding school horse dies under them, or whatever.

When your furniture is collapsing around you and you need special tools to wipe your ass you'd think a clue would dawn, but noooo...it's time to lawyer up and get the entire rest of the world to adapt to your massive, wobbling, self centered ass.

/Yeah, I've been up all night

Ramos said she waited until a few girls left, and again tried to go up. She was stopped again, which she said prompted her to ask, "What is the difference between the other girls up there and myself?"


/About 250 lbs? just guessing. They want to bring business in love, not lose it.

UHC2005: "You're not allowing me in because of my size?"

"No, we're not allowing you in because you're a whiny biatch."

I have the feeling this will affect her service at other clubs in town.

Her weight and situations like this should be a motivator to losing weight. Or make your fatness a cause. One of the two.

"You're not allowing me in because of my size?"

"No, we're not allowing you in because you're a whiny biatch."

I'll admit I almost hate super obese people.

does that make me a bad person?

/we need an island for them to go to.

it's only fair. plenty of women don't let me inside because of my size.

FTFA: A social work professor at the University of Iowa told Ramos to return to the bar.

"She told my friends and I to go back and see if the same thing happens and to try to get them to say aloud 'I am not allowing you up because of your size,

She sounds fat.

FTA
Ramos approached the Human Rights Commission in Iowa City, but the organization told her they could not do an investigation because size discrimination is not illegal by law, Ramos said.

So Iowa City has a "Human Rights Commission"? Is that like the Canadian version of the same thing?

And how the hell is them saying you are too fat to be an attention whore a violation of your human rights?

Grow some thicker skin, unless it is thick and already stretched over your mass, in which case, lose some weight.

She's obviously pregnant.