What an incompetent twit.

First of all, if you're going to perform a sacrifice, bring a sharp knife with you. Using a piece of broken glass is the mark of an amateur.

Secondly, cut keep enough to cut into an artery and wait for your sacrifice to bleed out. This guy didn't finish the job properly before slashing his own wrists. Protip: You can't finish someone off if you're already dead, so make sure you do it right.

Finally, what good is sacrificing someone to the spirit world if you're going to kill yourself afterwards anyway? You won't be around to reap the benefits of having a good crop that year. Your sacrifice is wasted.

I wonder what Creed he was.

Sacrifice your son and put him in your graveyard. Draw 1 Fark headline.

Cythraul: It's okay. Right before he's about to do it, God will step in and say 'jus kiddin'.'

If God sent a ram for Abraham to sacrifice, does this mean that this time he was supposed to sacrifice the police?

Too bad they couldn't save the hundreds already dead.

I wonder if there's an insanity plea in his future...

I think Florida is infecting the rest of the nation. Time to quarantine the state.

How come God hogs up all the good followers, and we're left with the retards?

How else would one appease the ancient Ammonite god, Moloch?

Officers released a report stating Ramirez had brought candles to the cemetery. One of the candles broke, and he used a piece of the broken glass to slash open his son's forearms.

WTF am I readin?

God-is-a-Taco: SnarfVader: I wonder what Creed he was.

His dead grandmother promised she would take him a better place, somewhere higher.

Damien?

/Hot like Damien Thorns new home

So the candle turned into broken glass?

That's some fine journalism right there, Lou.

Sometimes dead is betta'

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Who'll save the day? Rowsdower!

Zap Rowsdower?

Isaac...Is that you?

/Best Indy game of 2011.

oldernell: Anywhere near Hwy 61?

Man, you must be putting me on.

Do it in Bronze Age Palestine and you're made a patriarch of the religions of over two billion people. Do it in Fartbongo's America and the DCF take away your children and send you to jail for decades.

Religion is AWESOME.

Leeds: Religion is AWESOME.

Without religion, I'm sure he would have been completely stable.

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Who'll save the day? Rowsdower!

+1
Top 5 MST3K film IMHO

Yakk: oldernell: Anywhere near Hwy 61?

Man, you must be putting me on.

Next time you see me comin' you'd better run.

I took my 3 and 5 year-old sons fishing yesterday, so I can relate to occasional urge to make it all stop. Fortunately for my kids, I treat the problem with alcohol like a responsible adult. Gonna be a long day at work today....

So let me guess Christian? Otherwise the article would have mentioned his religion.

Poor kid.

Is this one of those Santa Muerte things, or is this just some random crazy guy? Or are we not distinguishing between the two?

UHC2005: [blog.auntjanenation.com image 288x391]
How come God hogs up all the good followers, and we're left with the retards?

I had forgotten how cheesy that movie was until I cought it a couple of weeks ago

John Leguizamo as the clown was the only decent part.

oldernell: Anywhere near Hwy 61?

You have the place all wrong. Rt 61 runs through Hell in Centralia, PA.

Arkanaut: Cythraul: It's okay. Right before he's about to do it, God will step in and say 'jus kiddin'.'

If God sent a ram for Abraham to sacrifice, does this mean that this time he was supposed to sacrifice the police?

I'm no expert on Jewish law, but I don't think that would be Kosher.

Just a few blocks from my house. And that same day a group of guys with Latino last names shot and killed another guy with a Latino last name half a block from my house, but of course we should just let them stroll across our borders because if we don't we are bad neighbors.

titwrench: Just a few blocks from my house. And that same day a group of guys with Latino last names shot and killed another guy with a Latino last name half a block from my house, but of course we should just let them stroll across our borders because if we don't we are bad neighbors.

Excuse me, this is CLEARLY an anti-religion thread. Please take the anti-immigration/racist rants to another thread.

This is what happens when people try to live in a whale's vagina.

PizzaJedi81: titwrench: Just a few blocks from my house. And that same day a group of guys with Latino last names shot and killed another guy with a Latino last name half a block from my house, but of course we should just let them stroll across our borders because if we don't we are bad neighbors.

Excuse me, this is CLEARLY an anti-religion thread. Please take the anti-immigration/racist rants to another thread.

I will do no such thing. This is Fark, I can hate what I want. And I hate Catholics too.

titwrench: I will do no such thing. This is Fark, I can hate what I want. And I hate Catholics too.

Didn't say you couldn't hate them, I'm just saying, it's gonna confuse people's arguments, introducing race into this.

skinink: I think Florida is infecting the rest of the nation. Time to quarantine the state.



Yet the infection seems to come to Florida from everywhere else.

But did he eat his son's eyes first?

karnal: How else would one appease the ancient Ammonite god, Moloch?

By passing a child through the sacred fire. Duh. Which is, of course, abomination. Also a violation of Jealous God's Commandment 2.

So let's not drag poor Moloch into this.

The cult of Santa Muerte strikes again.

PizzaJedi81: titwrench: I will do no such thing. This is Fark, I can hate what I want. And I hate Catholics too.

Didn't say you couldn't hate them, I'm just saying, it's gonna confuse people's arguments, introducing race into this.

Gotcha I will sit this one out. Wake me up for the next illegal immigrants thread.

Arkanaut: Cythraul: It's okay. Right before he's about to do it, God will step in and say 'jus kiddin'.'

If God sent a ram for Abraham to sacrifice, does this mean that this time he was supposed to sacrifice the police?

what sacrificing a _(dodge)ram may look like in modern times.



/ hot as usual.

tekmo

karnal: How else would one appease the ancient Ammonite god, Moloch?

By passing a child through the sacred fire. Duh. Which is, of course, abomination. Also a violation of Jealous God's Commandment 2.

So let's not drag poor Moloch into this.


Poor Moloch, my ass - he drove Allen Ginsberg to Howl!