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(Daily Express)   Angry toddler storms off on bike, gets lost, tells police it's his parents' fault for not fitting a sat nav [with angry toddler pic]   ( divider line
    More: Amusing, tricycles, rage, town  
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20963 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2012 at 10:31 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-04-30 10:18:51 AM  
8 votes:
You just know the sick grandmother thing is only a cover story, and he was fully intent on taking Paris.
2012-04-30 11:52:53 AM  
4 votes:

Rusty Shackleford: You just know the sick grandmother thing is only a cover story, and he was fully intent on taking Paris.

i50.tinypic.comView Full Size
2012-04-30 10:54:11 AM  
4 votes:
Little. Check.
Riding. Check.
Visiting grandma. Check.

This seems vaguely familiar.
2012-04-30 05:59:52 PM  
3 votes:

namegoeshere: Pert: namegoeshere: Mock26: namegoeshere: Mock26: Well, it looks like I own Pert an apology. It seems that he is correct about something being backwards. That is the Kettler Speedy Balance Bike and the fork is not completely straight. There is a very slight forward bend to the fork and in the picture of the kid (best seen in the Hitler picture) it does appear to be backwards. The difference, however, is very small. Good eye, Pert.

[ image 633x495]

But that fat piece on the vertical bar is hard-welded. How can it be backwards? The turning bar goes through the fixed piece. And in the kid pic, the handlebars are angled correctly. Perhaps they are slightly different models?

The handlebars are not welded to the fork and the fork can freely spin 360-degrees in the head tube.

Yeah, I see that now. They got the wheel fork backwards and the handle bars correct.

Indeed. i should have been clearer. forgiveness please.

Not at all. It was an interesting bike assembly conversation.

It's what happens if you start drinking on christmas eve before you get the bike assembled. Once you've got it all together and you realize it's backwards but still moves, you just want to go to bed or fark your wife, and it's not like she's going to notice. You're supposed to fix it the next day after he uses it and goes to bed again, but nobody notices and you forget about it. Spring comes and the neighbor kid says "Hey, why is that on backwards?" and your son comes and says "Dad, why is this on backwards?" and it's either explain the truth or say "Well, son, Santa? Old, rich white guy? The elves were pushing for better medical benefits and, you see... I was going to get that bike from Toys'r'Us, but we knew you wanted one from Santa even though he's using sweat shops in China now - not like you knew that, and we didn't want to ruin the holiday for you. So, I apologize for the sub standard bike and I promise to buy one for you myself next year."

This also handily covers the whole "Is Santa real?" conversation.
2012-04-30 12:31:56 PM  
3 votes:
All you people saying he can't possibly be two years old, just remember that's probably in metric. That works out to about 4.6 years old for an American.
2012-04-30 11:52:32 AM  
2 votes:
Cool story, Sis warning.

My little brother Ray did this to me when he was 2 and I was watching the whole brood of 5 younger brothers. He decided Mom and Dad were lost and he had to go bring them home. Cop was knocking on the door, asking me if "this little guy" belonged to us. He had been found near the highway, talking to some nice ladies and asking if they've seen our parents. While the cop was writing up his report at the front door and I'm near tears holding the newborn brother, the little snot slips out the back door on his quest again. The other brothers run him down a block away.

/little brothers are the best form of birth control for teenaged sisters.
//He's not so little now, he's an Army gunner and soon to be shipped out to Afgahnistan. Take care, Ray! You know how to get back home safe.
2012-04-30 11:09:50 AM  
2 votes: Full Size

What a two year old definitely does not look like.
2012-04-30 11:03:28 AM  
2 votes:
What's a 'gran /europics', and why would a kid go try to visit it?
2012-04-30 10:58:45 AM  
2 votes:
Just a few weeks ago I told a friend that raising a stupid child is much easier. But not nearly as much fun.

/Good luck with that kid, lady.
2012-04-30 10:37:16 AM  
2 votes: Full Size

Young Noah attempted to cycle on his toy tricycle to see his sick gran /europics

Must be one of those British things, in America, a tricycle has three wheels.

/two countries separated by a common language.
2012-04-30 10:32:52 AM  
2 votes:
I expect several more fark headlines in this brats future
2012-04-30 08:20:34 AM  
2 votes:
The sense of entitlement from kids these days is astounding. If he wants a sat nav he should get a job and pay for it himself!
2012-04-30 08:52:32 PM  
1 vote:
img10.imageshack.usView Full Size
2012-04-30 03:51:11 PM  
1 vote:
Why all the name calling and hate? That kid rules! Such a good grandson!

-He's gonna grow up and be awesome you bunch of ninnies. Don't get in his way or he'll punch you in the neck.

(that was my big threat to older people when I was 5 years old and my older brother's friends would be messing with me. It was all I could reach at that age!)
2012-04-30 12:55:37 PM  
1 vote:

quickdraw: That kid is not 2 years old. Hes gotta be at least 4 based on his proportions.

I'm sure they checked his papers...
2012-04-30 11:48:50 AM  
1 vote:
When I was four I left the county on a Baptist Joy bus. I knew kids who went to church on the buses that drove through our area picking up children to go to Sunday school. They were always prattling on about the games, the art supplies, and the snacks.

So, one Sunday morning my parents were asleep and the bus pulled up. The man driving asked if I wanted to go to church. I said yes. Twice he asked if I had permission to go. Twice I assured him that I did. He let me on the bus. When my parents woke up I was gone.

After searching for some time, they were going to call the police when my Grandmother thought about the church buses. They found me in the church.
2012-04-30 11:06:58 AM  
1 vote:
You said the handlebars were on backwards, not the front wheel!!!
And why do these bikes not have pedals? Kids these days, and their silly playthings.
2012-04-30 11:02:43 AM  
1 vote:
So they've rewarded him by giving him a faster, more aerodynamic vehicle for his next solo adventure?
2012-04-30 10:53:48 AM  
1 vote:
CSB - I did the exact same thing when I was three. I have no memory of the event, but according to my parents, I scaled the locked yard gate by parking my bike in front of it and went to visit my grandmother across town. The police found me several hours later, on the wrong end of town from Nana's, having made it across a six lane main street by myself somehow. Supposedly, I wouldn't go with the police unless they ran the siren.

My father was so angry when they brought me home, he had to go take a walk in order to not kill me.
2012-04-30 10:43:15 AM  
1 vote: Full Size

Young Noah attempted to cycle on his toy tricycle

"Two-year-old Noah Joel packed his favourite sweets in his rucksack and pedalled his toy bike across Hameln, Germany"

Several things:

1 - that is not a two year old. My friend has a 3 and a half year old who is the biggest 3 year old you've ever seen and I doubt that my friend's child is as big as this kid

2 - that is not a tricycle, it only has 2 wheels

3 - that is a balance bike, so he didn't "pedal" it anywhere (uber pedant...missing an umlaut)

4 - his parents have fitted the handlebars on backwards as far as I can tell
2012-04-30 10:42:46 AM  
1 vote:

soy_bomb: Must be one of those British things, in America, a tricycle has three wheels.

Those silly Brits and their Polizei... ?
2012-04-30 10:42:35 AM  
1 vote:
Rubbish! I hope the toddler checked the air pressure in his tyres before setting out, and that he was wearing hi-viz colours.

I'm not sure what annoys me more: British accents or British terminology/spelling.
2012-04-30 10:36:48 AM  
1 vote:

When I was about four or so, my dad told me to go to the store and buy smokes. I didn't know any better, so I hopped in my battery powered 4x4 and drove off- at something like 4 mph. I managed to get about a mile down the road before I was finally found- and promptly punished, because at 4 I was supposed to know that he was kidding.
2012-04-30 10:35:07 AM  
1 vote:

loonatic112358: I expect several more fark headlines in this brats future

His role model must be him:
tosh.mtvnimages.comView Full Size
2012-04-30 10:01:58 AM  
1 vote:

BurnShrike: Pud: 2 Yr. olds know what sat nav is?

He's probably heard it giving directions to his parents as they drive around. I doubt he knows much about how it works other than that it tells you where you want to go.

At about 2 years old, my nephew starting calling the nav system "that lady". As in "that lady that tells us where to turn".
2012-04-30 09:20:53 AM  
1 vote: Full Size

I do whatever I want! Don't like it? Go f**k yourself!
2012-04-30 08:25:07 AM  
1 vote:
He's going to be a joy to raise.
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