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(Bleacher Report)   On tonight's WWE Monday Night Raw, marvel in amazement as a senile promoter wastes $5 million by making Brock Lesnar sing "Feelings" to a Paul Bearersicle while eating Doritos Tacos Locos. Deep Hurting starts at 9 PM on USA   (bleacherreport.com) divider line 109
    More: Interesting, Brock Lesnar, Monday Night Raw, John Laurinaitis, WWE, WWE Championship, USA, Alberto Del Rio, WWE Extreme Rules  
•       •       •

402 clicks; posted to Sports » on 30 Apr 2012 at 8:08 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-05-01 03:16:47 PM
2 votes:

P-Money All $tar: From the dirt sheeiats.

Triple H today... "He has a non-displaced fracture of distal humorous. Fortunately, this is not something that needs surgery with pins and screws. We'll be treating him with a sling for comfort and following with him in the next few days."

You get a sling, you get a sling, EVERYBODY gets a sling!!


Let's go ahead and change the brutality in Lesnar's gimmick, since we know he isn't ripping arms out of their sockets.

Let's change the slogan to:

Here Comes The Sprain!

And possibly: The Next Big Sling.
2012-04-30 10:35:38 PM
2 votes:
"Kane vs Khali next!"

"Great Monsoon, the immovable object meets the immobile object."

"Well they're not luchadores brain."

"There are park statues that could have a better match than this one!"
2012-04-30 09:48:03 PM
2 votes:
"When was the last time we saw The Big Show utilize a small package Brain?"

"I don't know Monsoon, ask his wife."
2012-04-30 09:44:37 PM
2 votes:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, don't fight, Jeri-Show!
2012-04-30 09:32:50 PM
2 votes:
"Miz with the win, Brain."

"Huh?"

"I said, Miz with the win."

"... I know those words Monsoon I just don't recognize them in that order."
2012-04-30 09:19:53 PM
2 votes:
Finishing a match with a torn quad? No problem.

Break your arm? 6 guys help you out of the ring.
2012-04-30 11:24:01 PM
1 votes:

hobblekitty: Well I will enjoy this angle if for no other reason than the eventual firing of Johnny Ace it will render. And it is refreshing to see him not acting like a block of wood for a change.

Why does Lord Tensai walk like that? He looks like he is anticipating surprise buttsecks at any moment.


Hey, sometimes the A-Train changes tracks.
2012-04-30 11:16:14 PM
1 votes:
"You want Punk vs. Danielson on PPV for a world title, nerds? Fine, but you're gonna get Cena vs. Johnny Ace on top! HAHAHAHAHA!"
2012-04-30 11:13:54 PM
1 votes:
"Uh Monsoon?"

"Well he asked me, but I declined..."

"See you next week folks!"

(out of character, I wish that myself, FNB, and someone like fingfangfark could get together and simulcast an alternate announce track, smell the ratings!)
2012-04-30 11:13:50 PM
1 votes:

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: So, just how many people who haven't wrestled in a number of years does Cena have to face this year? Who the hell is next, Paul Orndorff?


At King of the Ring, or whatever the fark PPV is in June, it's John Cena vs. Verne Gagne in a hardcore retirement home match.

...and Verne is 1-0 in those.
2012-04-30 11:05:54 PM
1 votes:
i107.photobucket.com
2012-04-30 10:57:30 PM
1 votes:
SEE WHAT I DID THERE YOU SMARK BASTARDS?!

I'VE TORN YOU IN TWAIN!


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
2012-04-30 10:55:03 PM
1 votes:
"Holy shiat Brain! It's Punk/Bryan!!"

"Static Monsoon! It's Punk"

"I'm tingling!!"

"Hold me!!!!"
2012-04-30 10:51:36 PM
1 votes:
(simultaneously) "DA FUQ????"
2012-04-30 10:47:06 PM
1 votes:

Bobby_and_The_Gorilla: "Cena is out for a stretch Brain, what are we going to do now?"

"Well Monsoon, let's push the midcard, bring up some developmental talent, really get this youth movement going."

(simultaneously) "BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Let's get ready for the next Randy Orton world title reign, Monsoon!"

"Co-holding the tag team title with HHH!, RAW tonight!"


"Wizards Monsoon?"

"Only Daniel Bryan stands in our way!"
2012-04-30 10:42:46 PM
1 votes:
"Khali has all the grace of Jello Pudding Monsoon"

"My soul brother Brain..."
2012-04-30 10:40:52 PM
1 votes:
"Monsoon, I'd be surprised if Khali could stat awake for four minutes..."
2012-04-30 10:39:11 PM
1 votes:
"Hey it's AW Brain!"

"And it was botched Monsoon, shame too, I love his Root Beer!"
2012-04-30 10:32:32 PM
1 votes:
So, wait, does this mean Kofi, Truth, and Little Jimmy will be defending the belts under the Freebird Rule?
2012-04-30 10:32:20 PM
1 votes:
"NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS BRAIN!"

"YES MONSOON, TWO NEW WRESTLERS WE CAN IGNORE!"
2012-04-30 10:32:14 PM
1 votes:
Ok, Kofi-Truth are the tag champs. How long before R-Truth gets suspended again and Kofi loses the belt?
2012-04-30 10:26:02 PM
1 votes:
"Monsoon, Do you see little Jimmy in the ring?"

"No I dont Brain, I've never seen little Jimmy"

"your wife have the same lament Monsoon?"

"Oh will you stop?"
2012-04-30 10:23:17 PM
1 votes:

MagSeven: Primo! Epico! AssoCulo!


FTFY
2012-04-30 10:19:11 PM
1 votes:
"SLAMJACK is your gredunza champion"

"NO NO NO MONSOON, DAMNIT THIS ISN'T FAIR TO FLAIR!!"
2012-04-30 10:18:16 PM
1 votes:
media.tumblr.com


BORK COVERED BORK HANDLED FAMILY BORKDUNZA
2012-04-30 10:18:13 PM
1 votes:
Moss covered three handled family fairness to flair.
2012-04-30 10:14:26 PM
1 votes:
"Can you still do 3 pushups Monsoon?"

"I can eat three Pushups..."
2012-04-30 10:10:49 PM
1 votes:
"I saw Randy eating a couple Doritos Locos Tacos Brain."

"Dear God, Tsunami Warning! No place is safe!"
2012-04-30 10:07:47 PM
1 votes:
Hide yo bags

Hide yo wife

E'erbody be shiattin' up in here.
2012-04-30 10:06:01 PM
1 votes:
"Hey Monsoon, it's Toby"

"Teddy..."

"Right!"
2012-04-30 10:02:59 PM
1 votes:
TIME TO BREAK THE ARM!

Look at me Brock. Brock? Brock? Brock? Look at me, Brock. Brock? Brock? Brock? Brock?

JOHN! JOHN!!!

Look at me Brock. Brock? Brock? Brock? Look at me, Brock. Brock? Brock? Brock? Brock? Look at me, Brock.
2012-04-30 10:02:37 PM
1 votes:
WWE Creative @WWE_Creative
We were hoping to use "Tell Me a Lie" for the @JohnCena departure video, but we went with Schindler's List instead #RAWTonight
2012-04-30 10:02:20 PM
1 votes:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT AGAIN!
2012-04-30 10:02:16 PM
1 votes:
If Cena is leaving for any reason at all, than it makes even less sense than before for him to have won last night.
2012-04-30 10:00:51 PM
1 votes:
It's the Godfather meets Rikishi except a thousand times worse. It was good for a while.

Cena promo opens up both hours.
2012-04-30 10:00:02 PM
1 votes:
"And those two young boys started puberty early that night"

"Will you stop?"
2012-04-30 09:56:30 PM
1 votes:
"Have you ever fulfilled a make-a-wish Brin?"

"Does obeying a restraining order count?"

"I should say not..."
2012-04-30 09:56:13 PM
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: eddievercetti: Captain Steroid: [imageshack.us image 418x455]

Can't believe you pulled that out and it's not Tebow time.

I say Derpy goes with Tebow, and the new Jets helmet is Derpy flying into the WTC.


OH MY GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE!

And that WTC crack was bad, too.
2012-04-30 09:52:14 PM
1 votes:

eagles95: Oh....a Jeri-Show reunion. You know.....Show isn't that bad a wrestler. He's had good matches with Cody and him and Jericho always seem to put on a good match.


Hes not bad at all. Of the giants he can move. Plus they didn't make him an "evil" giant. He look like he has fun at it.
2012-04-30 09:51:08 PM
1 votes:
imageshack.us
2012-04-30 09:50:17 PM
1 votes:

eddievercetti: eagles95: Oh....a Jeri-Show reunion. You know.....Show isn't that bad a wrestler. He's had good matches with Cody and him and Jericho always seem to put on a good match.

Yeah but I think we all agree we would want Show back at his prime.


I was watching a Nitro match on WWE Classic and I completely forgot how in shape he was, once upon a time.
2012-04-30 09:50:06 PM
1 votes:
clock botch
2012-04-30 09:47:59 PM
1 votes:
Watch them have Lord Tensai become the #1 contender with a complete squash.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com
2012-04-30 09:47:55 PM
1 votes:
wait, how did Jericho go from being in the choke slam into DDTing Show?
2012-04-30 09:46:44 PM
1 votes:

Theseus: hobblekitty: SharkTrager: globalwarmingpraiser: KellyKellyKelly: hobblekitty: I realize I am in the minority here, but I can't stand Brock Lesnar.

I just think Brock Lesnar is a massive, stupid dick of epic proportion. And I have no love for Johnny Ace either.

Hey hobbiekitty , you may already know the story, but Brock Lesnar was an actual legit NCAA wrestler at University of Minnesota, and won Big Ten and National titles. Here is a match of his from 1999 http://www.purefight.org/speaker/4424-Brock-Lesnar/video/194069-Brock- Lesnar-vs-Stephen-Neal-NCAA-Finals

On the one hand, I respect him for not changing his name or coming up with a crazy persona. On the other hand, it's hard to respect him because he basically refused to learn "acting" or mic skills, and basically just relies on being the monster guy he has been since high school and college.

If you knew all this, sorry for the rehash, but if not, perhaps it will help to understand where the guy is coming from.


I think you really nailed it there. Its probably why kurt angle (well at least his wwe run) is more looked on glowingly. Kurt took a USA gimmick when really it was way past the era to have something that silly and really made it work... and people loved it. Big, hardass has been done perfectly before (goldberg) so I never got excited for brock because he didnt give me anything other than just being a big hardass.
2012-04-30 09:45:55 PM
1 votes:

TheManofPA: Big Show's hat might suffocate that kid.


hey, don't knock it. Now that boy has a place to sleep tonight.
2012-04-30 09:44:38 PM
1 votes:

Igor Jakovsky: Lite brite, Christmas tree, etc


i1122.photobucket.com
2012-04-30 09:44:32 PM
1 votes:
This might be the first time I've actually wanted to see Big Show be someone's opponent.
2012-04-30 09:44:27 PM
1 votes:

verbaltoxin: Jericho's jacket is well on the way to being as lit up as Jeff Jarrett's from his country singer gimmick days.


Time for Fozzy to cover "With My Baby Tonight".
2012-04-30 09:44:20 PM
1 votes:
JeriShow Explodes!
2012-04-30 09:40:56 PM
1 votes:

hobblekitty: SharkTrager: globalwarmingpraiser: KellyKellyKelly: hobblekitty: I realize I am in the minority here, but I can't stand Brock Lesnar.

I just think Brock Lesnar is a massive, stupid dick of epic proportion. And I have no love for Johnny Ace either.


Hey hobbiekitty , you may already know the story, but Brock Lesnar was an actual legit NCAA wrestler at University of Minnesota, and won Big Ten and National titles. Here is a match of his from 1999 http://www.purefight.org/speaker/4424-Brock-Lesnar/video/194069-Brock- Lesnar-vs-Stephen-Neal-NCAA-Finals

On the one hand, I respect him for not changing his name or coming up with a crazy persona. On the other hand, it's hard to respect him because he basically refused to learn "acting" or mic skills, and basically just relies on being the monster guy he has been since high school and college.

If you knew all this, sorry for the rehash, but if not, perhaps it will help to understand where the guy is coming from.
2012-04-30 09:40:03 PM
1 votes:
ALL GLORY TO HYPNOJACKET
2012-04-30 09:39:47 PM
1 votes:
theinfamousjcity.files.wordpress.com
2012-04-30 09:38:15 PM
1 votes:
"Beautiful, talented, charismatic"

"Yep, Layla is impressive Brain"

"I was talking about myself Monsoon..."
2012-04-30 09:36:48 PM
1 votes:
Good luck in all your future endeavors Bellas
2012-04-30 09:34:46 PM
1 votes:

Moodybastard: Russ Feingold's Brass Balls: I called that to my co-watchers here, that Miz would win.

I agree with the rest of you guys that Tensai is a likely emergent from this thing, though, given how he squashes people.

Wasn't Tenssai AKA Prince Albert part of CM Punk's flock or acolytes...whatever his straight edge society called themselves?


No, that was Serena.
2012-04-30 09:33:06 PM
1 votes:
zipmeme.com
2012-04-30 09:31:08 PM
1 votes:

silgryphon: She;s got glasses now huh

She's reminding me of someone else who had that role before. Who was that?


i.imgur.com

I can't believe the thread went that long without answering this question.
2012-04-30 09:28:07 PM
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: TheManofPA: Ok, that little kid with a Michael Cole is a "true" professional is a great sign.

Ok, smart move putting Eve in glasses. She might flub her lines, but damn if it doesn't make her 12 percent hotter

[www.troll.me image 290x302]


img.ponibooru.org
2012-04-30 09:27:10 PM
1 votes:
"I'm told that Triple H has anal bleeding."
2012-04-30 09:26:34 PM
1 votes:
I CAME TO JOB!
I came to job like some common slob
get down on my knees and my head will bob
I'll put you over cuz I dropped R-Truth
I won't stand In your way, I'll gladly move
I CAME TO JOB!
2012-04-30 09:26:21 PM
1 votes:

TheManofPA: Ok, that little kid with a Michael Cole is a "true" professional is a great sign.

Ok, smart move putting Eve in glasses. She might flub her lines, but damn if it doesn't make her 12 percent hotter


www.troll.me
2012-04-30 09:24:50 PM
1 votes:
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but WWE is going to need young talent soon, and it worked somewhat well with Lesnar and Angle, maybe WWE should start scouting college wrestlers and offering them contracts.
2012-04-30 09:24:48 PM
1 votes:

FinFangFark: ThatGuyGreg: TheJoe03: Uh gonna give this thread a chance, I heard that the wrasslin threads were a good time. Not sure if I can watch the actually "game" or whatever, I have a long standing drinkin game where I must drink when I hear a wrestling reference, so I don't want to be THAT smashed.

ARMBAR

SCOOPSLAM


MOSS-COVERED THREE-HANDLED FAMILY GREDUNZA
2012-04-30 09:24:00 PM
1 votes:
trying to play that it was a dislocated elbow?
2012-04-30 09:23:57 PM
1 votes:
ha, when you see the "breaking" again, it's hilarious
2012-04-30 09:23:40 PM
1 votes:
That's not how it looks when you break the arm with that move.
2012-04-30 09:23:24 PM
1 votes:
Huh...that snap looked gnarly.
2012-04-30 09:21:56 PM
1 votes:

nyrkah1: SharkTrager: nyrkah1: SharkTrager: Why would Truth run in to save HHH?

To show that it's real.

The last time Truth and HHH were involved Truth was convinced HHH was part of a massive conspiracy.

Yeah, but that was part of the "show". That wasn't Troof coming out tonight, it was Ron Killings.


Nah, K-Kwik became a certified EMT during his time away from WWE.
2012-04-30 09:21:15 PM
1 votes:

VvonderJesus: Finishing a match with a torn quad? No problem.
Break your arm? 6 guys help you out of the ring.



One of the reasons to actually respect Triple Gagne. That is some serious toughness.
2012-04-30 09:20:59 PM
1 votes:
Triple H's arm is broken just like that? Really?

I'm guessing Big Show vs. Lesnar for Over The Limit.
2012-04-30 09:19:30 PM
1 votes:
Show: "holy shiat. What were you thinking?"

shiat IS NOT PG!
2012-04-30 09:19:30 PM
1 votes:
"HHH's sex life just took a serious turn for the worse, Monsoon"

"didn't know he was a 'lefty' Brain."
2012-04-30 09:19:19 PM
1 votes:
Did Big Show just compliment HHH's balls?

I think I smell ANOTHER EMBARRASSING BIG SHOW MOMENT!
2012-04-30 09:18:41 PM
1 votes:
Triple H's arm is broken. So let's grab him by that arm!
2012-04-30 09:18:31 PM
1 votes:

robsul82: What the Hell is the matter with you guys, lol, he's selling.


No watch it again, when Brock is holding his arm in the lock it suddenly jerks....could be fake, coulda been real shiat happens from time to time.
2012-04-30 09:18:29 PM
1 votes:

robsul82: What the Hell is the matter with you guys, lol, he's selling.


Yea, Barrett wrecks his arm they don't even move him until they had it in a cast. Now we have Doctor Crazy Bones messing around with it in the ring haha.
2012-04-30 09:18:09 PM
1 votes:

SharkTrager: Why would Truth run in to save HHH?


To show that it's real.
2012-04-30 09:17:54 PM
1 votes:
Bah Gawd king, that arm had a family!
2012-04-30 09:17:26 PM
1 votes:
DOES YOUR ARM HAVE A PULSE?!?
2012-04-30 09:17:12 PM
1 votes:
Broke that shiat!
2012-04-30 09:17:08 PM
1 votes:
Triple H will get Nash involved in this somehow to kill any buzz Lesnar has, you know like he did with CM Punk last summer, surely an F5 would have been better than that scrappy shiat
2012-04-30 09:16:51 PM
1 votes:
Brock Lesnar is the walking PSA against steroids.
2012-04-30 09:16:47 PM
1 votes:
Damn it they keep not screwing this up.
2012-04-30 09:16:46 PM
1 votes:
So basically he's going to break the arm of the guy who can fire him?

Oh yes, let's all run to Triple H's rescue. Where were all of you when Zack Ryder got squashed by Kane week after week, again?
2012-04-30 09:16:37 PM
1 votes:
The Glass Ceiling Crew comes out to save Hunter.
2012-04-30 09:16:37 PM
1 votes:
did he break his arm for real? I swear I saw something suddenly change.
2012-04-30 09:16:33 PM
1 votes:
WHERE IS THE SAFETY IN THIS COMPANY?
2012-04-30 09:16:18 PM
1 votes:
Holy shiat that looked legit
2012-04-30 09:15:50 PM
1 votes:
HOCKEY PUNCH HIM, BROCK!
2012-04-30 09:15:44 PM
1 votes:

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: goddammit, this is setting up HHH vs Brock at some PPV or other. you just know it.


SEE????
2012-04-30 09:15:44 PM
1 votes:
SAVE US BROCK!

...dude, WTF is wrong with me tonight?!!
2012-04-30 09:15:40 PM
1 votes:
Yep, it's HHH vs Brock, yayyyyyyyyy, FARKYOUVINCE!
2012-04-30 09:11:03 PM
1 votes:
"Wild contract law! Smell the ratings Monsoon!"
2012-04-30 09:10:30 PM
1 votes:
"Nobody's bigger than the WWE..."

How the hell did he say that with a straight face?
2012-04-30 09:09:27 PM
1 votes:
"The C-E-I-E-I-O?"
2012-04-30 09:08:07 PM
1 votes:
"WHOA BRAIN! HHH IS OUT"

"Good I was starting to miss him!"

"Really?"

"Like I miss those penicillin shots, Monsoon"
2012-04-30 09:03:56 PM
1 votes:
"Mick Foley grins and says 'Call me Cena when you sneeze teeth!"

"right you are Brain."
2012-04-30 08:57:56 PM
1 votes:

eagles95: FirstNationalBastard: Igor Jakovsky: TheManofPA: Morrius: Are ponies more appropriate for before, during, or after RAW?

I'm beginning to believe that FNB is actually just a horse who learned how to type so I'm going to say anytime

how does he type with hooves? giant keyboard?

[i6.photobucket.com image 595x335]

How did you get a pic of the writers before the ppv?


That's insulting.

This is the PPV Writers room (with Undertaker approved wardrobe)

assets.vator.tv
2012-04-30 08:56:11 PM
1 votes:

Mind of the North Star: Morrius: Are ponies more appropriate for before, during, or after RAW?

No.... Bronies are never okay.


/I know I know......forever alone
//Can't wait until it gets old


Prepare to be loved and tolerated.
2012-04-30 08:52:09 PM
1 votes:

FinFangFark: MagSeven: Oh. And I'M the guy who is happy to have Layla back. Although the sooner she goes heel the better.

Yeah, I can think of one reason to be glad she's back.

One big ROUND reason.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 539x811]


This thread just got infinity times better
2012-04-30 08:49:04 PM
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: TheManofPA: Morrius: Are ponies more appropriate for before, during, or after RAW?

I'm beginning to believe that FNB is actually just a horse who learned how to type so I'm going to say anytime

[everfreeforest.com image 640x502]


How do you always have a somewhat relevant picture? I'm tempted to throw out random words and see what you post.
2012-04-30 08:47:32 PM
1 votes:
"Oh crap! Plug the twitter Monsoon!"

"@Bobbyandgorilla"

"Follow us! We have beer and naked women!"

"We don't guarantee the quantity or quality of either..."
2012-04-30 08:40:42 PM
1 votes:
"I got Teddy Long's new job Monsoon!"

"This I gotta hear..."

"He could operate some kind of subterranean mass transit system."

"... So... An underground..... OH WILL YOU STOP?"
2012-04-30 08:32:20 PM
1 votes:
"You think Teddy Long will get further humiliated tonight Brain?"

" I do Monsoon, however how they're going to do it without a bale of cotton in the ring is beyond me."

"Folks, I apologize for my broadcast partner."

"Does R-Truth still have that uniform?"

"Stop....!"
2012-04-30 08:31:51 PM
1 votes:
www.wwe.com

Okay, which one of you guys photoshopped Lesnar's head onto Ric Flair's body?
2012-04-30 08:17:50 PM
1 votes:
"Cena is out for a stretch Brain, what are we going to do now?"

"Well Monsoon, let's push the midcard, bring up some developmental talent, really get this youth movement going."

(simultaneously) "BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Let's get ready for the next Randy Orton world title reign, Monsoon!"

"Co-holding the tag team title with HHH!, RAW tonight!"
2012-04-30 06:49:44 PM
1 votes:

Senile Vince: I am not SENILE you DAMN SMARKS! I know EXACTLY what the fans want and I am rolling in the dough needed to give it them. I had pudding with my lunch today and I think I just pooped myself.

SMARKS!


Ok, time for an Alt Rundown:

Senile Vince
Moss Covered Three Handled Gredunza
Vince Russo
Bobby and The Gorilla


Am I missing any?
2012-04-30 05:02:28 PM
1 votes:
Reposted from the (world famous) post-WM thread:

j.wigflip.com
 
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